by Marta Szemik
“Okay, okay, let’s do it Friday. I can’t do it any earlier. Is Xander joining us?” I bit my lower lip. I enjoyed his company just as much as Mira’s, but now that I knew the truth about William, I hoped I could finally muster enough courage to tell her about my dreams. She’d believe me. That’s the kind of friend Mira was—she’d cry when I cried, laugh when I laughed, and believe the most doubtful truth if I said it was so. Only I never found the courage to spill all of my secrets.
“Of course he is. We’ll meet you at The Grill, Friday at seven,” she confirmed.
“Oh,” I let disappointment slip.
“Unless you don’t want him to be there?” I pictured Mira raising her eyebrows. I didn’t find her questioning odd; the siblings were my best friends and came as a package deal. You simply couldn’t be a friend with one and not the other.
“No, that’s okay,” I said.
“Don’t be late, Sarah. I really need to talk to you.”
“I’m never late.”
“Never say never,” she quipped.
“Hey, did you borrow my cream shirt?” I asked.
“Are you missing another one?”
“Yeah, I guess I’ve been busy lately. I’ll have to check the laundry again.”
“Let me know if you need help,” she offered. “I’ll see you Friday.” She hung up before I found another excuse.
“See you Friday, Mira,” I said to the phone. Friday I’ll tell her the truth. I’ll just have to distract Xander with food. Yes. Food will keep him preoccupied.
Tension tugged at my intestines. Chills ran up my spine. My confession would be one the siblings didn’t expect.
I shoved the phone into my pocket and glanced across the street to Mrs. G’s Natural Healings store. Mira’s and Xander’s mom owned it. Beyond the line of a shingled roof, the snow-capped peaks of the Grand Teton Mountains glistened in the morning sun. A perfect ad image for her herb and natural medicine store. In tune with nature, Mira and Xander would serve as the store’s walking advertisements if people didn’t keep their distance from them.
Sometimes they have reason to, I thought, remembering a time when I’d witnessed the siblings helping a wolf. Mira yelled, “Hold him down!” to her brother in the front yard of their veterinary clinic.
“I am!” Xander had snapped back. “Hold him tighter!” The wolf had yelped in pain but didn’t growl. It didn’t try to bite Xander as he freed its paw from a steel-jawed leg-hold trap with his bare hands.
“There you go,” Mira had murmured into its ear.
Mira and Xander had a way with animals. They looked straight into their eyes and touched them without being attacked. Mira’s whispers soothed the animals’ emotions and Xander’s strength eased their physical injuries. They rehabilitated foxes, raccoons, and mountain lions and sent them all back to the forest.
I empathized with their odd behaviour, as it resembled my own, and often questioned their abilities. Who else could hold down a wolf? Okay, a vampire probably could, but I preferred to pretend vampires didn’t exist, and with the caramel skin, the siblings were definitely not vampires. Neither Mira nor Xander ever asked questions; they never treated me like an outcast. They accepted me and I them, and I wondered what would happen if they knew the truth.
I turned the key in the front door and smiled at the familiar squeak of the hinges that heralded my entrance into my oasis. The heavy scent of flowers greeted me, and I inhaled deeply as I stepped inside. The warm moisture hung in the air, settling on my bare skin. At first glance, the store looked like it melded into an infinite corridor of exotic trees, shrubs, and plants. It was a greenhouse with a small waterfall in its center, splashing into a pond where goldfish dreamt.
The greenhouse had transformed into my personal rainforest as the plants grew over the years. Yes, I’d overdone it, but I liked it that way.
I bent toward the counter to inhale the sweet aroma of my blue orchid. “I can sleep longer because of you.” The velvet petals glistened.
Time passed quickly at work.
I closed the store at six o’clock but didn’t go home. The stack of new requisitions for the weekend had grown taller, despite working through lunch. Great! How can I keep my date with Mira now? After I tackled the orders, the cushioned armchair in the back room looked too inviting to resist. The shot of my blue orchid serum into my thigh sent me on a high, and I nestled my head against the side of the chair, closing my eyes.
William was back, finally. He appeared behind a thin fog, his silhouette fading out of focus. Seeming close, I reached out to touch him, wanting to feel the warmth of his skin. I pushed my elbows into the chair to stand, but I couldn’t rise. My thighs felt heavy, as if a boulder rested on top of them.
I was in the landscape of a kindling dream, halfway between waking and a true dream state.
“William,” I said, surrendering to inertia and sinking back against the chair, “I know about my parents.”
“You don’t know everything, Sarah. You have to be careful.” He kept his eyes focused on the tile floor.
“But Helen told me to find you. How do I find you?”
“I already found you.”
He walked away, and the dream ended. There was no intensity, no certainty. It was just a dream.
Placing my hands under my cheek, I turned to my right side. My memory of William so clear, I imagined him here with me. He didn’t want to look at me. Was it because he knew what I was?
“You can’t leave me,” I whispered. What if he won’t come back? I needed him now more than ever.
My eyes were half open, the contours and angles of the back room blurred and vague. My eyelids heavy, I wasn’t ready to wake up. Fall asleep, Sarah. Maybe William will be back.
A new dream began.
“Sarah!” William cried, running toward me, but stopped. William’s gaze focused over my shoulder, and he growled, baring sharp teeth.
The distance between his eyebrows narrowed, his skin tightened, and the muscles underneath stiffened. He resembled a vampire. Red veins streaked his cheeks, his eyes sank into gray-shadowed hollows, and the contours of his cheekbones intensified. He growled again, warning something to back off.
This dream ended.
I jumped to my feet, certain the dream would find its way into my life.
I will meet William. And he’s a vampire.
My heartbeat quickened as I struggled to inhale and fell to my knees. This was the first time I’d seen him as a vampire in my dreams. My insides felt solidified, like a rock, as hate for a man I already loved formed around my heart.
Could I accept him as a vampire?
I heard a shriek escape my throat.
Is that why he accepts me? He knows what I am.
If William was like me, perhaps he could help me, us, find an antidote to change us into humans. That had to be the reason Helen wanted me to find him. The rock crumbled into sand, letting my heart beat again.
The front door opening startled me. My head whipped at the sound of squeaking hinges. I thought I’d locked it for the night and inhaled instinctively, trying to identify who it was. Suppressing the urge to rush, I staggered to the front of the store, my foam-like knees almost buckling.
Relieved to see a familiar silhouette, I exhaled. Mira and Xander’s mom had her face buried in a floral arrangement decorating the front window. She lifted her head, her mouth curving up in a kind smile. Her floor-length skirt swayed as she strode toward the counter where I leaned heavily. The bracelets around her left wrist rattled.
“I thought I’d find you here,” she said, examining me with her wise brown eyes.
“Hello, Mrs. Gobert.” Noting a slight tremble in my voice, I forced a smile.
“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” She scanned my rigid body from the bottom up.
“Oh no, I’m all right. How can I help you?” I asked automatically, doubting my fib worked. My demeanour must have seemed odd to Mrs. G, plus I never called her by her full na
me.
“Is it too late? I saw the light on, and the door was open. Mira’s having a guest over. I wanted to pick up some flowers to brighten up the house.” Mrs. G hesitated and cocked her head. “Are you okay, Sarah?”
“Yes, of course,” I lied. “Which ones would you like?”
“Tulips. Are they out of season?” She was still looking over my tense stance.
“Not in this store. It will take a few minutes.” I drew a deep breath and strained to move my numb legs toward the back. Breathe, just breathe. Tulips: third fridge to the left. “Red or yellow, Mrs. Gobert?” I called out to the front.
“Your choice, hon,” she replied.
The brighter ones were my favourite, and Mira’s, too. We shared the same style of wardrobe, liked similar haircuts and simple designs. Mira and I were like sisters. “Mira didn’t mention anyone visiting,” I said loudly.
“She doesn’t know yet.”
“Hmm?” I murmured, picturing Mrs. G. smirking.
I pulled the sliding door of the fridge, lifting a bucket of half-opened tulips. It seemed lighter than usual. Hugging a clear vase under my arm, I strung a purple and yellow ribbon around my thumb on the way to the counter. The foam in my knees slowly began to stiffen and I welcomed the stability. I imagined if they buckled and I fell over, my unnaturally hardened legs would crumble on the tiled floor, shattering like a broken glass container. Concentrate, Sarah, concentrate.
“Sarah, are you sure you’re all right?” Mrs. G asked, looking at me with worried eyes.
The air felt taut with tension. “Yes, Mrs. Gobert. Would you please tell Mira I won’t make it to our dinner this Friday? I’ll call to reschedule.” I hoped to sound genuine, knowing Mira would question my motive. She was my only human confidant, at least, the kind of confidant I could allow.
“Yes, of course I will,” she said. I doubted Mrs. G believed a word that came out of my mouth. She knew me too well. Sometimes I wondered if she knew my secret since she would ask me to take a dying squirrel or raccoon back to the forest even though we both knew they wouldn’t survive. After all, I couldn’t watch the animal just die. Any nonhuman blood was precious.
After I finished arranging the vase, I set it on the counter.
“Thank you so much. How much do I owe you?” She reached into the side pocket of her dress.
“Nothing—it’s a gift.” I forced another smile as I fisted my palms, trying to control the trembling in my hands.
“Thank you, Sarah. Take care of yourself. You look a little pale.” She winked and turned back toward the door.
“You too—take care, that is,” I managed to say.
For the first time in eight years, I gave in to my second nature and whizzed through the store, completing my final chores in record time. The current of air generated by my passage scattered the papers and photos I’d pulled from Helen’s chest. I rushed to pick them up, then paused, staring at the print of Helen sitting in the wooden chair at the log cabin. A shadow cast by someone behind the camera fell forward into the photo. The well-built frame looked familiar.
“That’s impossible,” I whispered. This photo had been taken over twenty years ago. “There is no way this could be William.”
It’s my father. He’s the other half I embrace.
“Who’s there?” I jumped up, my eyes searching the room. Sensing a strong presence, I felt my heartbeat speed up, and then it skipped a beat. A sucked breath squeezed into my lungs. My knees softened again as his scent filled my nostrils.
“William, I need you.” My lips quivered, wishing he was real. “Help me. What do I do? You’re the only one who knows me.”
Nothing.
“Will I ever meet you?” I sighed.
I leaned on the granite counter and scanned the room as if I had x-ray vision. William’s cologne floated through the room. How is this possible? “William? Where are you?”
No one answered. The front door was still closed, the window in the back too small to climb through.
“I must be going crazy.” I wondered if hearing voices could have me committed. Maybe when I start seeing William’s ghost, I’ll commit myself. Could he be a ghost?
I stood in a tornado-like vortex of confusion and helplessness. Senses I couldn’t control roamed through my body. The store seemed to swirl. My upper lip twitched. The vampire in me grew in strength, waking—enraged, furious. The fridge cooler clicked on, its innocuous sound like a hammer blow to my heightened senses. My other half fought to emerge, to exist. The side of the counter felt like foam against my fingers as I dented its surface. The void under my palm cracked. I’m going to ruin this store.
I shut my eyes and exhaled slowly, the way they do in yoga, but I couldn’t find peace. Unfamiliar anger crawled out from inside me. The tiny hairs on my arms straightened as newly excited cells danced in my bloodstream, cells that had been asleep for far too long.
Control it, Sarah, control it.
This time, I took in two short breaths and released them together, like a woman in labour trying to manage her pain. My laugh vibrated my chest. I opened my eyes, then crossed my fingers, trying to crack them. The joints didn’t release a sound, and I let my head drop, admitting that any control I had was about to be lost. I took another shot of the serum.
Chapter 4
The incision burned. The slow oozing of blood felt like hot water. I swept my hand across my chest and licked the red goo off with my tongue. The bitterness tasted foreign.
“Ahh!” My body shot upright. “No!” Pushing my back against the armchair, I mangled the sweat-dampened blanket with my feet. I sprang into a crouch on the floor, warily scanning my store for intruders, poised for an attack. It was a dream.
I touched the middle of my ribcage—no wound. Lifting my shirt, I saw no scar, not even a white mark resembling one. But I can’t scar, I thought in disbelief.
“What am I going to get myself into?” I hissed, grimacing. I pressed my right hand against my lips. How soon will it happen?
A hollow rumble came from the pit of my stomach, and it wasn’t from hunger. My gut warned me. This dream was strong. It woke up suppressed instincts—the need to fight for my life. Still crouched, I listened for intruders. No one else was in the store. It wouldn’t happen now.
I exhaled.
“It was a dream, just a dream,” I whispered, but I was in denial, knowing I couldn’t escape this nightmare. I ran my finger through the center of my chest, from five inches below the hollow of my throat down to the floating ribs. Smooth. But the memory of a small round ripple under the forefinger was too clear in my mind. Tracing over the invisible pattern, I moved my fingers back up, shaking my head. “No . . .” I moaned, no louder than a whisper.
Some predictions were out of this world. I’d dreamt of creatures with orange, purple, and white eyes; long, unrecognizable bodies burning in roaring fire pits; flowing rivers of lava, flying streams of fire, caves filled with glowing mists—I couldn’t comprehend these.
Deep inside, I knew from this dream’s intensity that it had sealed my fate. The only unanswered question was when would it happen?
The sunlight from the oval window in the back room shined on my face. The front door opened, and I gripped the armchair I’d slept in to stop myself from running across the store. Instead, I rose and casually strolled out to the front to see who it was. It didn’t surprise me that Mira would be the first to enter the store this morning.
“Hi Sarah! I love the bouquet you made. Boy, you’re a mess. Did you spend another night here?” She embraced me, squeezing as if she were saying goodbye.
“It’s good to see you, too. How is Xander?” I asked, absently straightening my wrinkled shirt and brushing my fingers through my hair.
“He’s asking about you. After my mom’s rendition of her visit yesterday it’s been hard to keep him away.” Mira eyed me suspiciously. “You look awful!”
“Thanks!” I rolled my eyes. Of course—I’d forgotten Xander’s morning rou
tine. “I’m surprised you managed to keep him away.”
“Why are you cancelling our plans through my mom? There is such a thing as a phone,” she finished with a long huff.
“Yeah . . . I’m sorry about that.” My eyes fell on the papers sitting on the front counter. “I’m just really busy. and I have new orders that came in.” I swished a sheet of paper in the air.
“Orders smorders.” She looked straight at me.
Turning away to hide guilt, I focused on adjusting a wedding arrangement. I lied to Mira too often, and the secret weighed more with each fable. “I’m fine. I’m just tired.”
“Oh, don’t give me that tired crap—we both know how hard it is to tire you out.” Her voice softened, became almost pleading. “Talk to me.”
I gave in. “I found a letter from Helen.”
“What did it say?”
“She said she’s my biological aunt. My mother was her sister. She died at birth.” I avoided the gory details—the feeding, the blood, my father being a vampire—pretty much all the stuff that would scare off a human. Even so, I felt a pressure lift off my shoulders, and I finished plaintively, “Why didn’t she tell me?”
“I’m not sure, hon.” I didn’t hear the surprise I’d expected in Mira’s voice. She reached out and tucked a stray lock of my brown hair behind my ear, as casual as any other day.
“I’m not sure either.” My throat tightened. I was ready to spill more secrets but didn’t know where to begin.
“What else did it say?”
“Not much.” I shrugged, again consumed with guilt and wondered whether Mira believed me and how much more I could lie without breaking down.
She took my face between her palms, and I knew she saw through me. “Have dinner with me, for my sake,” she said slowly, emphasizing each word. “I need to talk to you, and there’s someone I want you to meet.”
Making me think the dinner was for her benefit hit a soft spot. “Okay,” I agreed. “Saturday night.”