“Admit it,” Jack said, “you planned to finish last and win that Red Lantern.”
“No. No. No,” I said, wearily. “You’ve got it all wrong. I did everything I could to dodge that bullet for seven hundred miles.”
With great solemnity, Leo, the old Nome checker, presented each of us with an Iditarod patch, an official finisher’s belt buckle, and a check for $1,000, which was given to every musher to complete the race that year. I’d counted on that money to get us home.
After formally accepting the Red Lantern from Leo, I briefly talked about the setbacks that had sealed my fate. Daily caught the frustration in my voice as I described the mutiny at the dump, but even he, our convoy’s sensitive soul, laughed so hard tears dripped from his chin.
Decked out like a banker in suit, vest, and tie, Swennie took a front-row House gallery seat in Alaska’s state capitol. An excited buzz spread through the chamber. Lawmakers swiveled in their chairs to get a look at the master musher in the flesh.
At last, the anticipated moment arrived. The representative whose district included Two Rivers rose and read into the record a citation celebrating my neighbor’s come-from-behind victory and his reaffirmed status as Iditarod’s all-time champion.
After the hurrahs subsided, Swenson said a few polite words. The champ was in good form on this, Rick Swenson Day.
I was seated at the press bench immediately in front of the gallery. Swennie stuck around after the citation, wearing a thoughtful expression as he watched his government at work. After a while he leaned forward and tapped me on the shoulder.
“You sit through this bullshit all day long?” whispered the champ.
Later a reception was held for Swenson at the governor’s mansion. With Gov. Wally Hickel out of town, it seemed natural to find Iditarod’s all-time champion playing lord of the big white house. Amused by our first and last combo, others in attendance put Swenson and me together for a picture. I gave someone my camera to get a shot, but my flash batteries were dead. The misfire summed up my life.
The champ was being chummy. “I wouldn’t know myself—because I’ve never been there,” he said, “but I’ve always heard it’s tough on you guys in the back. How long did it take you?”
“Over twenty-two days, nearly twice as long as you.”
“Well then, you’ll have twice as much to write about, won’t you?”
The snow had melted, even in Fairbanks, by the time the lawmakers and I headed home. Howls sounded as soon as I pulled into the Deadline Dog Farm’s driveway. Out in the lot, the dogs greeted me like a lost brother. Licks all around.
The reception demonstrated, once and for all, that I hadn’t lost anything important. I wanted to mush the Iditarod Trail, and I had. I dreamed of starting first, and that had come true. The rest? Well …
In the kitchen that night, I unveiled my new plan to Mowry.
“I want to put up a sign by the end of the driveway,” I said, nodding toward the glittering memento on our bookshelf. “A sign saying ‘Home of the Red Lantern.’”
“Over my dead body, O’Donoghue.”
Someone shakes my shoulder. “Get up! Get up!” the man says, an Inupiat accent coloring his voice. “You told me to wake you.”
Wind howls outside the steamy-warm cabin. My body is stiff, wooden. I’m so tired I could cry. Where the hell am I?
“It’s time to go,” the man insists. “The next checkpoint isn’t far.”
Another checkpoint? What? That makes no sense. “The race is over,” I cry.
Searching my clothes for proof, I find the buckle and the patch. “See,” I say, showing them to the man. “I already made it to Nome.”
The checker, faceless, shakes his head. “Your dogs are waiting,” he says.
Wind rattles the cabin walls. A strong aroma of coffee tickles my nose. I sigh, not understanding, but accepting. Time to go.
That’s when I awake, drenched in sweat.
For months after the race, the nightmare replays almost nightly. Each time I’m victimized by my own conditioned response: Rainy and the team need me. I can’t let the dogs down.
1991 IDITAROD ORDER OF FINISH
1. Rick Swenson: 12 days, 16 hours, 34 minutes, 39 seconds
2. Martin Buser 12:18:41:49
3. Susan Butcher 12:21:59:03
4. Tim Osmar 12:22:33:33
5. Joe Runyan 12:22:36:30
6. Frank Teasley 13:12:27:57
7. Dee Dee Jonrowe 13:13:44:10
8. Matt Desalarnos 13:13:44:35
9. Rick Mackey 13:13:54:39
10. Bill Cotter 13:13:57:28
11. Kate Persons 13:14:20:59
12. Jeff King 13:14:24:40
13. Jacques Philip 13:15:07:39
14. Jerry Austin 13:17:10:51
15. Michael Madden 13:20:06:26
16. Ketil Reitan 13:21:54:12
17. Lavon Barve 13:22:20:14
18. Peryll Kyzer 14:16:26:26
19. Terry Adkins 14:16:46:51
20. Bill Jack 14:19:38:14
21. Beverly Masek 15:09:03:51
22. Laird Barron 15:10:07:15
23. Joe Garnie 15:11:53:33
24. Rick Armstrong 15:12:24:07
25. Linwood Fielder 15:23:45:15
26. Burt Bomhoff 16:08:48:36
27. Dan MacEachen 16:09:08:46
28. Dave Olesen 16:10:01:52
29. Raymie Redington 16:10:02:23
30. Dave Allen 16:10:25:26
31. Joe Redington Sr. 16:11:56:56
32. Jerry Raychel 16:17:51:17
33. Mark Nordman 16:17:55:38
34. Malcolm Vance 17:09:30:00
35. MacGill Adams 17:10:10:13
36. Nikolai Ettyne 17:10:53:00
37. Alexander Reznyuk 17:11:54:12
38. Tony Shoogukwruk 17:12:34:11
39. Rollin Westrum 17:13:44:00
40. Brian Stafford 17:15:35:48
41. John Suter 17:18:23:31
42. Roger Roberts 17:22:08:00
43. Larry Munoz 17:22:59:52
44. Jim Cantor 18:00:02:00
45. Terry Seaman 18:00:08:35
46. Kazuo Kojima 18:00:29:28
47. Rich Bosela 18:00:50:45
48. Pat Danly 18:02:23:36
49. Dave Breuer 18:04:49:29
50. Chris Converse 18:05:09:50
THE KALTAG “TEN”
51. Sepp Herrman 21:05:59:26
52. Lynda Plettner 21:21:04:06
53. Jon Terhune 22:00:11:04
54. Gunnar Johnson 22:00:57:48
55. Urtha Lenthar 22:01:05:09
56. Tom Daily 22:01:06:50
57. Mark Williams 22:01:06:58
58. Catherine Mormile 21:01:18:28
59. Don Mormile 21:01:35:16
* Tom Cooley 22:01:43:43
60. Brian O’Donoghue 22:05:55:55
Scratched:
David Aisenbrey
Nels Anderson
Roy Monk
Gary Moore
John Ace
Sonny Russell
Robin Jacobson
Steve Fossett
Alan Garth
Bill Peele
Barry Lee
Ken Chase
John Barron
Gary Whittemore
Disqualified:
Joe Carpenter
* Though Doc isn’t listed in the official race standings, his arrival was dutifully logged in by Nome checker Leo Rasmussen.
IDITAROD’S FIRST AND LAST
Total elapsed time in days, hours, minutes, seconds
VINTAGE DEPARTURES
PECKED TO DEATH BY DUCKS
by Tim Cahill
In his latest grand tour of the earth’s remote, exotic, and dismal places, Tim Cahill sleeps with a grizzly bear, witnesses demonic possession in Bali, assesses the cuteness quotient of giant clams in the South Pacific, and survives a run-in with something called the Throne of Doom in Guatemala. The resulting travel pieces are at once vivid, nerve-wracking, and
outrageously funny.
“Tim Cahill [has] the what-the-hell adventuresomeness of a T. E. Lawrence and the humor of a P. J. O’Rourke.”
—Condé Nast Traveler
Travel/Adventure/0-679-74929-2
FALLING OFF THE MAP
SOME LONELY PLACES OF THE WORLD
by Pico Iyer
Pico Iyer voyages from the nostalgic elegance of Argentina to the raffish nonchalance of Australia, documents the cruising rites of Icelandic teenagers, gets interrogated by tipsy Cuban police, and attends a screening of Bhutan’s first feature film. Throughout, he remains both uncannily observant and hilarious.
“[Iyer is the] rightful heir to Jan Morris [and] Paul Theroux…. He writes the kind of lyrical, flowing prose that could make Des Moines sound beguiling.”
—Los Angeles Times Book Review
Travel/Adventure/0-679-74612-9
RIDING THE WHITE HORSE HOME
A WESTERN FAMILY ALBUM
by Teresa Jordan
The daughter and granddaughter of Wyoming ranchers tells the stories of her forebears—men who saw broken bones as professional credentials and women who coped with physical hardship and killing loneliness. She acquaints us with the lore and science of ranching, and does so with a breathtaking immediacy that recalls the best writing of Wallace Stegner and Gretel Ehrlich.
“A haunting and elegant memoir.”
—Terry Tempest Williams, author of Refuge
Memoir/Travel/0-679-75135-1
BALKAN GHOSTS
A JOURNEY THROUGH HISTORY
by Robert D. Kaplan
As Kaplan travels from the breakaway states of Yugoslavia to Romania, Bulgaria, and Greece, he reconstructs the Balkans’ history as a time warp in which ancient passions and hatreds are continually resurrected.
“Powerfully argued … the most insightful and timely work on the Balkans to date.”
—Boston Globe
History/Current Affairs/Travel/0-679-74981-0
A YEAR IN PROVENCE
by Peter Mayle
An “engaging, funny and richly appreciative” (The New York Times Book Review) account of an English couple’s first year living in Provence, settling in amid the enchanting gardens and equally festive bistros of their new home.
“Stylish, witty, delightfully readable.”
—The Sunday Times (London)
Travel/0-679-73114-8
MAIDEN VOYAGES
THE WRITINGS OF WOMEN TRAVELERS
Edited and with an Introduction by Mary Morris
In this delightful and generous anthology, women such as Beryl Markham, Willa Cather, Annie Dillard, and Joan Didion share their experiences traveling throughout the world. From the Rocky Mountains to a Marrakech palace, in voices wry, lyrical, and sometimes wistful, these women show as much of themselves as they do of the strange and wonderful places they visit.
A Vintage Original/Travel/Women’s Studies/0-679-74030-9
IRON & SILK
by Mark Salzman
The critically acclaimed and bestselling adventures of a young American martial arts master in China.
“Dazzling … exhilarating … a joy to read from beginning to end.”—
—People
Travel/Adventure/0-394-75511-1
RIGHT ON THE EDGE OF CRAZY
ON TOUR WITH THE U.S. DOWNHILL SKI TEAM
by Mike Wilson
Mike Wilson follows the underfunded, underreported athletes of the U.S. downhill ski team through a World Cup season that culminates at the 1992 Winter Olympics in France. Juxtaposing scenes of raw courage and gonzo excess, the result is authentic enough to leave the reader windburned.
“The best [book] ever written about ski-racing.”
—Denver Post
Sports/Travel/0-679-74987-X
A VINTAGE DEPARTURES ORIGINAL, MARCH 1996
FIRST EDITION
Copyright © 1996 by Brian Patrick O’Donoghue
Map copyright © 1996 by John A. Field
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. Published in the United States by Vintage Books, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
O’Donoghue, Brian.
My lead dog was a lesbian : mushing across Alaska in the
Iditarod—the world’s most grueling race
Patrick O’Donoghue.—Ist ed.
p. cm.—(Vintage departures)
eISBN: 978-0-307-48853-4
“A Vintage departures original”—T.p. verso.
1. O’Donoghue, Brian. 2. Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race,
Alaska. 3.Mushers—Alaska—Biography. 4. Sled dog
racing—Alaska. I. Title.
SF440.15.042 1996
798’.8—dc20
[B] 95-44516
CIP
Random House Web address: http://randomhouse.com
v3.0
My Lead Dog Was a Lesbian Page 27