LOST HIGHWAY

by Zac Funstein

  The young-girl oblivious to anything but a total belief in her own talent, pursues her solitary-dimensional, absurdly caricatured aim with a ferocious energy/dedication that in its witlessness was nothing if not breathtaking. Some said her plan was foolish but let anyone dissuade her. Since the actual start was flexible it was decided that a visit to the nearby garage might be a good move-to give a going over once again to check everything was okay. If the truth be known Ogier Lemelin had scared her.

  Beautiful old stone terrace houses which would have been snapped up for renovation had they been in Melbourne Australia where the owner came from were witlessly destroyed to make way for the garages which nestled together here.

  The proprietor of Mallory Caron Garages Ltd was called Marlon Soucy (the why wherefore of how this discrepancy between title owner came about was never satisfactorily resolved). Soucy had come in for much criticism however ended up looking better than his graceless accusers whose venality, was planned, protracted even considered. His offenses were more often merely impulsive, abrupt foolish many agreed rather than malign-someone who acted impulsively then accepted the consequences afterwards. Marlon was what they call a ‘true artisan’- such a label, most of the time politically motivated, tended to be one that stuck permanently , so was pervasively influential/ powerfully contaminating. However, it had been used so often by public figures/ media pundits that the teen was not sure anyone has a clear claim to this anymore. What better way to hit home the importance of these attitudes than to find out what makes this icon of American popular culture-the ‘garage mechanic’ so iconic. If there was a pervasive dread that corporate America was somehow in imminent danger of collapse then step no further than the humble garage for here the familiar was supreme-it had never gone away. Conventional post-what there was in the e-mail milieu- was deposited in the oil drum mailbox by the roadside. Related products were suitably nostalgia producing. The area above the premises was designed to be big enough to convert into either a studio or a gym for which preparation was well underway.

  Garage ceilings are typically high this was no exception. Someone must have said don’t throw away old bicycle inner tubes— they're useful, someone else must have added when you can't see your way to the workbench, don't reach for a higher-wattage; just clean what you're already using. Dust, dirt cover a multitude of sins. In overalls with obligatory oily-rag Marlon was soon filling his new charge with advice. These internal combustion engine buffs are often brilliant, sometimes very penetrating in their judgment of men as well as machine Ogier had mentioned upon leaving; but the most constant element is a sense of humour, this humour, by turns playful even sentimental, is largely characteristic of that which sprang from a genial temper, quick in its sympathy with automobile/ humanity alike.

  Marlon used to spend his vocation driving aimlessly about the French interior of Quebec, stopping on occasions on a Harley Davidson. Then one Xmas a motley assortment of passengers took refuge in a roadside motel-Lemelin amongst them- where they were soon cut off from the world by a storm.

  Then one of the party let out a scream-a peephole had been found in the temporary room they had been given. It was like Psycho where Norman peeked through similar to observe Marion disrobe-the guest who dies in the famous scene. Then someone opened a plastic bag removing a clean, sheet that he was opened in all its pristine glory over the table in the center of where they all were-which freaked everyone out for some reason. There wasn’t any reason it was just a stupid sheet. Marlon believed retiring Sheriff Jamie R. Rodriguez was coaxing him over for a roadside chat not realising that Rodriguez had been locked in an institution for most of his childhood plus some of his adult existence. Discovering that there was a psycho in their midst-was so disturbing for some they refused to travel ever again.

  Now Soucy keeps his motorbike purely for show.

  “The sentiment - that there is somehow an ‘inappropriate’ time for analysis of a cars safety - is dangerous in its popularity in my view. There needs to be a kind of sense of urgency in our society about keeping a constant record. The wrong pressure affects steering/ braking that goes without reiteration need. If tyres are under-inflated they will wear out more quickly plus as for an added downer just when you’re on a treacherous bend they burst causing the problems listed here.”

  The rag is put casually aside then a list drawing-pinned to a dented locker is indicated. There is much crossing-out, much staining but the far from inchoate warnings are clear.

  “If you can add anything more Soucy-I’ve got that much already.”

  “If you've lots of luggage/ extra passengers, the required tyre pressure will be different. Don't neglect to check the spare wheel plus the jacking equipment. Can I ask how many are going with you in total on this mysterious communion with self?”

  “That’s just it it is myself- nobody else-I suppose one might meet those one does passing through this life-continuum but that is entirely spontaneous. I intend this to be a very lonely retreat.”

  It hadn’t been intended to pick-up any hitchhikers but one never knew. A Caledon man narrowly escapes being stabbed after picking up a female hitchhiker on the Interstate recently so everyone was hypersensitive. Fesahaye Vargas Guajardo driving near Central Point picked up an Afro-American female hitchhiker who said her name was Winta Betros. Guajardo took Winta to the RVTD transfer station in downtown Canmore in Alberta, but Kelsey Pawlyk refused to get out instead began kicking, punching him, even pulling a knife attempting to stab the unfortunate driver. Guajardo seeing Betros seemed to be upset about some issues probably realized picking her up wasn’t such a good move, for at one point even offered her assistance to get her to where was needed to go but the hitcher refused to leave theTata Safari. Fesahaye jumped out at an intersection to get away, Pawlyk was arrested without incident on several charges including attempted assault in a lower degree. Fesahaye was not injured.

  “Here take this give it a going over before you leave.”

  Marlon wipes himself with the rag again then opens the locker with a creak-removing something from a shelf inside.

  The recipient apologises.

  “Forgive the hesitation but it seems to be the season for edifying literature-I have already been given one book to read.”

  The teenager was guilty for a moment-it had not been meant to hurt anyone.

  “Might I ask what it was called this previous bequest?”

  “‘The Storm's Nobody or Abyss of Healer. By Pascal Bler’-I haven’t had a chance to browse through it yet, but it comes very well recommended.”

  “Pascal Bler-is good the person who gave you it must like you. This is lightweight in comparison. Its charming concision allows the reader to reflect on the travellers experiences unencumbered; without needing to have any prior knowledge of the subject. The precision/ concision Juan J. Levy has honed over half a century's devotion to the craft of motorcycling across S America - getting maximum effect from the minimal - ensure that these terse pieces can speak volumes.”

  On the cover is the photo of a Mexican hippy rather like a Spanish Hulk Hogan on a Honda Motorcycle.

  “It’s rather slender!”

  “In part, this effect is due to the brevity, conciseness of each topic, another characteristic of this book that I found appealing/refreshing. Juan might be Hispanic but I believe this is relevant to anybody on a voyage of self discovery regardless of wherever you are from. This speaks to anyone. The book also comes in concise pocket editions, which are shorter but newer; i.e., they are not just abridged editions. I would have given you one of these as they take up less room but it is not so easy to find.”

  What seems like a brother/sister of kindergarten stage appear then from what must have been an apartment either upstairs (or more likely) one of the condos nearby. They are dressed quite smartly unlike their father. One walks a little stiffly with arthritis. They stare at the intruder for a while with that penetrating gaze that those born simultaneously often do-but at mention from their father
that this is rude-mutter some greetings. Marlon engages them in some parental banter for a while then they wander off happy with whatever it is that is related. There is a sound of them going upstairs then they are gone seemingly for good.

  “You must forgive us they heard someone-they weren’t sure who it was. My wife is having enormous trouble with them at the moment. They get into everything.”

  Mrs. Soucy it transpired was obsessively concerned to the point of not being able to watch their clothing in the washing machine first instead having to turn away believing this presaged some terrible harm. Sometimes the texture of the fabric seemed to give distress for no apparent reason. The sequence seemed to denote that whoevers socks or shirts went in first meant something bad happen who was going to happen to them, despite repeated entreaties to the contrary. Mrs. Soucy got ill about this believing that it caused one greater harm as did coming down the stairs in the morning. Whoevers went past the banister first was going to have something nasty happen too-terrible. Fortunately this only skirted a clinical need the doctor said which made everyone wonder how bad you had to get.

  “Your own children against you!”

  “Jorge-that’s my eldest boy got into making shapes from play doh. Using a domestic circular cutter. The rascal then having cut them out- used them in his imitative patterns made from greased paper. All well/good-unfortunately the tearaway ignited a bin bag full of this with used envelopes / rubbish which caused extensive fire damage. Don’t ask how I still haven’t found out!!”

  Eclipse comes from the Greek for ‘abandonment,’ captures the sense of foreboding that inspired even in civilizations whose astronomers had figured out why/ when they would fall. Now more than ever a sense of abandonment gripped the traveller.

  “Oil levels to prevent over-heating/ engine failure are the real dangers to watch out for Glad,” said retired motorway breakdown recovery engineer Wayne R. Harris who had asked to meet her again being fond upon their last get together. The potential voyager popped round on the off chance Wayne was in.

  Those who had met him were impressed by the mixture of flexibility/ unyieldingness in his personality. The rule of the Spanish Army (Ejército Mexicano) which Harris had joined as a mercenary had left an inexorable stamp not only on his English but entire approach.

  “I find it particularly galling because, in this country, motorway recovery has to suffer near total purgatory because various enforcement agencies seem to start from the premise that we are all members of that same gang. For all you gadabouts/ tourists used to driving hither/ yon, believing a trip to New England or Toronto might be easy-lest you get too complacent let that not slip from your frame of reference-check oil levels whenever possible.”

  “God bless you for that good counsel Harris-it might save us!”

  It struck the would be traveller, who was used to taking social events easily, that there was no pleasuring at all in this part of town, though people were always saying how gay/delightful it used to be and how many visiting tourists came here. In reality they were miserable to the last man.

  As much as anyone Wayne wanted the trip to go well. Wayne had recently been to where G was considering going when they tried to install the largest sheets of glass ever used in a conservatory construction- sadly a low bridge made transport to the site very difficult-the glass had smashed.

  “What is this?” asked the curious one picking up a tin.

  “I made this when I knew you were coming.”

  Wayne like Vachel before him used a cane to move-having been involved in a dangerous collision which precipitated the disability. The instrument used in this case, (the regular flogging stick used previously discarded) was what was known as a commander's cane --a heavy knotted club. The old man moved over to a where a tin was then opened the lid via the bolt on the side.

  “Before you ask- car grease is designed to lubricate/ protect gears that are exposed to heavy loads, thrust loads plus extreme temperatures. This is my own auto grease to ensure smooth operation of every part while protecting metal contact points against wear. The right mix provides better adherence to the gear surface extends the performance life of your vehicle. It also has additives that prevent rust and oxidation.”

  “How much does your unique grease cost Wayne?”

  “That’s just like your age-no charge consider yourself a free product tester.”

  The tin was dropped into her grasp.

  “Here’s some other stuff that might save you.”

  A carrier-bag with various paraphernalia was given: spark-plugs, clips plus jump leads etc.

  The young charge who knew Wayne before becoming a service personnel had been a science grad advanced ‘in algebra, geometry, astronomy, even higher mathematics,’ certainly advanced enough to calculate mercurys elliptical orbit (although math seemed to have been dropped as a university subject)-was something of a prediction buff so G -wondered what his advice would be now about the retreat in Prince Rupert. Confident in predicting the course of weather-patterns or crowds on a subway, Harris must surely find more personal life-events relatively easy.

  Indeed this was anticipated for it was politely requested.

  “Please if you would indulge us further for a moment-I have something that might be of interest.”

  A squarish radio like device with various sliders like an ancient graphic equalizer is brought from its position nearby, its functions clearly highly idiosyncratic. Even those who like their comedy gently done however are likely to find this a little flimsy for a purpose was clearly served that belied the mock state-of-the-art exterior cum GUI.

  “What is……..”

  “Be patient please -as teenagers my brother/I were very fond of boxing-especially old videos-do you like boxing?”

  “Not remotely-It’s a very cruel sport that should be banned.”

  “Naturally that’s what your age should say-I’m sure that will come.”

  “I don't quite….this will make sense I’m sure.”

  “By puberty myself plus my younger brother were involved in constructing complex electronic devices such as radio transceivers. Never ski without a shovel, an avalanche transceiver or a potential splint the saying goes. We loved skiing as children but were sure that the avalanche predictors were a little-how do you say without being unkind-antiquated. We wanted to be even safer.”

  “Like knowing where the boxer is going to land outside the ring! This isn’t an avalanche or ring-side predictor though it’s too big!”

  “It started like that initially-our improvements were everywhere so that you could take long odds that if you were into skiing the transceiver had already been installed wherever travelled, but we grew bored so got into finding other uses; the Americans concluded that `further technical developments of the transceiver were unlikely’ but Allen -that’s my brother-plus myself disagreed vehemently.”

  “What does it do then this joint venture?”

  “Predicts generically. The Fabration was equipped with the latest very powerful transceiver. The basic starter pack provides a key chain remote control/smartphone. Admittedly on first impressions it looks like a mobile phone but Allen wanted to call it something else; the fact it's described as a transceiver seems to suggest it could be a mobile phone-anyway I digress. There is a mobile connection so you can access it wherever you are.”

  “It’s very impressive.”

  “The RFID sensor is much the same as Allen devised except perhaps the transceiver is a bit more powerful plus the micro-controller usually has more processing power than an RFID tag.”

  “Why is the logo of a boxer or is that self evident?”

  “What are the odds of someone getting hit causing devastation that sort of thing. When Clay fought Liston landing him with a left, (what a beautiful swing), when the punch raises Liston clean out of the ring (Liston still rising the ref wears a frown for counting can't start till Sonny goes down)- Liston disappeared from view, the crowd going frantic-the radar stations have picked him up
, somewhere over the stadium. Allens urging lawmakers even now to act and to act fast to avoid what he calls a medical- emergency. But we found quite by accident that it did more mundane stuff like your journey.”

  “Or an avalanche falling on some helpless skier.”

  “Exactly-that was the original inspiration.”

  “The surface of the Fabration is unusual, “ it was observed.

  “The main raw material is a compound of polyester resin. But don’t be fooled- it's hard, unyielding. It is full of what I call pessimistic optimism/ optimistic pessimism. I’m sure it will tell us your Prince Rupert visit will go well however.”

  There was the sound of gravel as the rusting Mahindra Commander pulled up in the driveway. They heard someone coming up the side steps, then bang on the side entrance to come in noisily. Who had announced themselves on the scaffolding of destiny was not yet known. Douglas who was hanging a mirror in the master bedroom-was holding a hammer about to bang in a nail when the interruption had come.

  It took a while to pinpoint who the person dressed in denim bib overalls was. Byron Latourelle who had called at the Schreiber household before was an online car-maintenance tutor. After Ellen apologised for being suspicious (citizens were being pressurised into having work done by traders who call on the off-chance only to find the work is extortionately badly done) the newly arrived began to unwind.

  That the wiper blades are not split or worn seemed to be the predominate theme repeated by, when asked what was important-what the young girl should not neglect on her unique magical-mystery-tour. The myopia of focusing on oneselfs own happiness, fulfilment, or satisfaction alone had given him much concern which was why this need to help had gripped him. This was a new Latourelle who rather like Scrooge on Xmas Day after seeing the ghosts had changed for the better.