by Lucy Clark
‘That sounds very lonely.’
‘Nell’s not lonely.’
‘Because she allows other people to help her.’ He indicated the crutches. ‘It’s all about balance.’
As he said the words to Jasmine he wondered if his own life was out of balance. Certainly today’s events had jolted things a little.
Pierce waited for a moment, then started walking slowly again. Jasmine followed, still using the crutches. ‘Have you ever asked Stacey why she was crying?’
‘No.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because…because…’ Jasmine started to pick up her pace on the crutches, hopping along quite confidently now. ‘She wouldn’t tell me anyway. I’m just a kid. They all stop talking when I come into the room. They hate me.’
‘Maybe they’re protecting you. Show them you’re ready to listen.’
‘How do I do that?’
Pierce grinned widely. ‘You’re a smart girl, Jasmine. You’ll figure it out.’ Then he looked up and down the corridor. ‘Hey,’ he said conspiratorially. ‘There aren’t many people in the corridor. Want to see how fast you can go on those crutches?’
Jasmine stared at him with shocked delight. ‘Can I do that?’
Pierce waved her words away. ‘Why not? Look around you. Assess the risks.’ He ticked the points off on his fingers. ‘And stop before you fall over.’
Jasmine smiled brightly, reminding him a lot of her gorgeous big sister. ‘Isn’t it silly?’
‘Sometimes a bit of silly is good for the soul. Ready?’
The teenager nodded and checked the long corridor to make sure she wouldn’t be getting in anyone’s way.
‘OK. Go!’
Pierce walked beside Jasmine, keeping well clear of the crutches. By the time they neared the ED Jasmine was laughing. He looked up and saw Stacey standing in the corridor, watching her sister use the crutches, watching her sister laughing. Stacey grasped her hands to her chest in delight. However, the instant Jasmine saw her sister she lost her rhythm and would have come a cropper if Pierce hadn’t been there to steady her.
‘Well done!’ He picked up the crutch she’d dropped and accepted the other one from her as Jasmine quickly tried to school herself back into sullen teenager pose number one.
Stacey came over and placed her hands on Jasmine’s shoulders. ‘Are you OK?’
‘Fine.’
Jasmine tried to shrug Stacey’s hands away, but this time Stacey wasn’t letting her. Instead she pulled Jasmine close, wrapping her arms around her sister.
‘It’s so good to see you laughing again. I’ve missed that sound so much.’
‘You’re not mad?’
‘Mad?’ Stacey pulled back. ‘Why would I be mad?’
‘Because I was being silly with the crutches.’
Stacey looked at Pierce and then back to her sister. ‘Well, sometimes a little bit of silliness is good for the soul.’
‘Here.’ Pierce held the crutches out to Jasmine. ‘Why don’t you take these to Nell? You can demonstrate how to use them, but don’t let her have a go on them just yet.’
‘OK.’ Jasmine accepted the crutches, a little perplexed as to why she was being given such responsibility, but doing it nevertheless.
‘The nurse is with Nell,’ Stacey remarked, jerking her thumb over her shoulder. ‘I’ve signed the papers, so as soon as Nell is ready she can go home.’
‘Thank you.’
‘No.’ Stacey slid her arms around his waist and hugged him close, not caring who saw them or what anyone said. Pierce had helped Jasmine to laugh again, and that not only filled Stacey with hope for her sister but also filled her heart with love for this wonderful, caring and clever man. ‘Thank you.’
Pierce wrapped his arms around her, delighted she didn’t seem to care who saw them. Given the eventful day they’d had thus far, everyone he cared about was safe. Yet there was one niggling thought that continued to churn around in his mind.
‘I didn’t hurt her.’
‘Not yet.’
Jasmine fully expected him to hurt Stacey, to break Stacey’s heart…and he had the sinking feeling she might be right.
CHAPTER TEN
THANKFULLY NELL RESPONDED well to the analgesics Stacey had prescribed, so now she was asleep, her plastered leg propped up on a few pillows, Pierce was able to relax a little. Jasmine was insisting on sleeping over in the spare bed in Nell’s room.
‘I’m not leaving her,’ Jasmine said in a stage whisper when Stacey tried to beckon her from the room. ‘I want to make sure she’s OK through the night.’
Jasmine raised her chin defiantly and crossed her arms over her chest, almost daring Stacey to forcibly remove her. Instead Stacey’s eyes filled with tears of pride, and for the second time in as many hours she hauled her sister close in an embracing hug.
‘You’re such a little warrior. I love that about you.’ Stacey sniffed and then released Jasmine. ‘Of course you must stay. I’m so proud that you want to—so proud of the way you protect Nell. Thank you, Jaz.’ Stacey cleared her throat before making sure the spare bed in Nell’s room was made up. ‘Just sleep in your clothes and I’ll bring you over some clean ones in the morning. Call me if you need anything.’ She waited while Jasmine climbed into the bed. ‘Is your phone charged?’
‘Yeah.’ Jasmine’s puzzled eyes continued to stare at Stacey. ‘Why are you being so nice to me?’
Stacey laughed a little at that and bent to kiss Jasmine’s forehead. ‘Because I love you, silly.’
With that, Stacey left the two girls to sleep, having already said goodnight to Samantha, who’d been very eager to get to her own bed after such a hectic day.
‘Cup of tea?’ Pierce asked as she walked into the kitchen.
‘Yes, please.’
In silence he made the tea, both of them lost in their thoughts. ‘Shall we sit on the veranda?’ he asked, and when she nodded he carried their cups outside. Stacey sat down on the porch swing before accepting the cup from him.
They sat there for a while, with the clear night sky spread before them. When she’d finished her tea Pierce took her cup from her and slipped his arm around her shoulders. Stacey leaned closer, more than content to snuggle close to the man who had stolen her heart. Closing her eyes, she breathed him in, wanting to memorise every detail, every sensation he evoked within her. How was it possible she’d ever thought herself in love before?
With Pierce, she felt…complete. And because of that she felt confident. She didn’t care who saw them together, who commented on their relationship or where things might end up. Pierce had helped her to realise she was a good person, and that at times she was too hard on herself, mentally berating herself when things didn’t work out the way she’d envisioned. He made her feel like a person of worth, someone he wanted to spend his time with, to share his life with.
As she sat there, relaxing in his arms, allowing herself to dream of a perfect future side by side with Pierce, she felt him tense. ‘What is it?’ she murmured softly.
‘Huh?’
‘You just tensed.’
‘Oh. Did I?’ He shifted on the porch swing, almost overbalancing them. Forcing a laugh, he stood up and walked out to the garden. The grass was soft beneath his feet. Soon summer would come, the grass would dry and turn brown, but for now, thanks to the lovely spring weather they’d enjoyed, everything was good. ‘I was just thinking about Nell…about how things could have been worse.’
‘But they weren’t.’
‘I know, I know. But worrying about her is a hard habit to break.’ He exhaled harshly. ‘There are just so many things that will need to change now, and any change can trigger a decline into tantrums. She becomes so single-minded, she can’t understand why I can’t change things back.’
He spread his arms wide.
‘When our parents died she kept demanding I go and pick them up. For months, Stacey. Months. Every single day. And every single day when I had to tell her that I could
n’t do it, that I couldn’t just get in my car and go and pick them up like she wanted me to, my heart would break. Months this went on.’
‘Oh, Pierce.’ Stacey stood and walked over to him, wrapping her arms about his waist and hugging him close. ‘What you must have gone through—and here I am complaining about Jasmine’s attitude when really I have nothing to complain about at all.’
‘Your challenges are different, but you still have every right to complain, Stace.’ His tone was gentle as he dropped a kiss to her head, but then he unhooked her arms from about his waist and walked further into the shadows of the night. ‘My mind is trying to process everything, trying to consider every angle, every contingency that needs to be put in place in order to make Nell’s recovery as smooth as possible.’
‘I know everything’s a bit of a jumble now, but it’ll work itself out.’
‘What if she endures a setback? What if this event means she’s unable to live independently?’
‘Well, Samantha’s here now, and Loris is due to move in within the next few weeks, isn’t she?’
‘Yes, but that is also change. And too much change…’ He stopped and sighed again.
Stacey watched him for a moment, her mind trying to process what he was saying. She understood that too much variety wasn’t good for Nell, but things wouldn’t always go to plan in the future—wasn’t it best simply to deal with things as and when they arose? In fact, now that she thought about it, with Nell’s second housemate due to move in soon it would mean that the three-bedroom home was quite full.
‘Where are you planning to live?’ The question left her lips before she could stop it and she quickly tried to explain. ‘Sorry. I’m blurting things out again. But it just occurred to me that once Nell’s other housemate moves in there’ll be no room for you.’
‘Correct. Initially I planned to rent somewhere nearby—just a one-bedroom flat—until after Christmas, and then I was due to head overseas.’
‘But you’re not going now?’ Even as she said the words the thought of Pierce living on the other side of the world choked at her heart.
‘I haven’t planned on it. And I’m glad I did turn down the job when they re-offered it to me.’
‘When, exactly, did they approach you?’
‘They emailed me a few weeks ago and asked me to start next month.’
‘What did you say?’
‘I said no, of course.’
She frowned as she thought things through. ‘How long have they been offering you this position?’
Pierce shook his head and walked towards the flowerbeds. ‘Does it matter?’ He bent down and breathed in the scent of the flowers.
‘Yes, it does.’
At the insistence in her voice, he turned to face her.
‘Why?’
‘Because it’s clear to see that you leaving and working alongside such an accomplished research team, working through a lot of the questions still surrounding adult autism, is something close to your heart. If they’ve been holding this job for you, offering it to you on a regular basis for years, then it’s important that you go.’
As she spoke the words out loud Stacey felt as though she’d just plunged a knife through her own heart.
When Pierce didn’t say anything, she swallowed and forced herself to continue. ‘You write articles for them. You research on your own with limited resources. Just think of all the good you could do working alongside those other brilliant minds, utilising their funding, pooling your knowledge, making a real difference in the way society at large treats adults who are trying to integrate permanently into a normal functioning world.’
Pierce’s answer was simply to shake his head.
‘Hang on. You said you turned the job down a few weeks ago?’
‘That’s right and after tonight’s events, I’m glad I did.’
‘Why did you turn it down? Isn’t this your dream job?’ Pierce looked up at the star-lit sky for a moment, but before he could speak Stacey continued. ‘Did you turn it down because of my medical practice?’
‘I promised to help you until the end of the year, when Cora returns.’
‘And I thank you for that. But it sounds to me as though the university wants you desperately, Pierce. And if that’s the case, then go.’ She tried to stop her voice from breaking on the last word and quickly cleared her throat in case he’d heard. ‘I can get a locum in.’
‘I am your locum, and I take my responsibilities seriously.’
‘So do I—and I will not be the one to stand in the way of you accepting your dream job.’
Pierce stared at her as though she’d grown another head. ‘Are you trying to get rid of me?’
Stacey closed her eyes, glad that it was dark and he couldn’t see the tears she was desperately trying to hold back. ‘If I have to.’ She breathed in slowly, then let it out, unable to believe what she was about to say. ‘If I have to fire you in order to get you to take that job then I will.’ There was determination in her tone.
‘But what about Nell?’
Stacey clenched her jaw, knowing that what she was about to do was for his own good. ‘You’ve put everything in place as far as Nell is concerned, and while her fractured ankle might be a bit of a setback, and bring its own new level of logistics, you’ve still taught her how to cope with big changes. Plus it’s not as though you’d be leaving tomorrow. I’ll help you organise things, and we will be there for Nell, helping her every step of the way. Shortfield Family Medical Practice isn’t only her closest GP surgery but my family and I are also her friends. We love Nell.’
‘I know.’ Pierce walked towards her and placed his hands on her shoulders. ‘And I thank you, Stacey. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the way you genuinely love my little sister.’ He looked down into her face, half in shadow, half lit by the glow of the moon. ‘You look so beautiful. You are so beautiful—not only physically but also within your heart.’ He shook his head. ‘You’ve changed my life and…and…it would be wrong of me to leave.’
‘You have to.’ She bit her lip to stop herself from crying. It was breaking her heart to say these words to him, especially when the last thing she really wanted was for him to leave her.
‘No. Catherine left me to further her career, and I thought it was incredibly selfish of her. It’s just a job, Stacey. I’m not going to sacrifice what’s important to me simply because of a job.’
‘You couldn’t be selfish if you tried, Pierce. And where Catherine’s concerned you’ve told me yourself she’s done amazing work, helped so many people. But when you think back to your relationship, perhaps she simply used her career as an excuse because she knew deep down inside that things weren’t right.’ She swallowed. ‘I lied to myself where Robert was concerned, telling myself he’d change after we were married, that I could live with my career always playing second fiddle to his, that I could be restrained as far as being demonstrative in my love for him went. I was willing to settle and it was wrong of me. Robert hurt me when he left me at the altar, and I wish he’d been more upfront with me, telling me his decision before I left for the church, but in hindsight his selfish actions saved us both from a lifetime of misery.’
She closed her eyes again, a single tear falling from her lashes to roll down her cheek.
‘I couldn’t bear it if you always regretted putting me before this job.’
She trembled when Pierce brushed the tear from her cheek.
‘I won’t.’
‘You can’t say that. It’s been your dream, and you’ve already devoted so much of your time to it. I’ve read the articles you’ve written and you can do so much more with the research team behind you.’ She looked up at him, not caring that a few more tears slid down her cheeks. ‘Go. Do the work you’re meant to do.’
‘But, Stacey—’
‘No. You’re fired, Pierce.’
‘You’re not serious.’ He laughed without humour as she stepped away from his touch.
‘I
am.’
‘No. You’re just doing this because you think it’s the right thing to do. Well, you can’t push me into this decision, Stacey. I’ll be turning up to work next week, same as always.’
‘No, you won’t.’
‘But you won’t be able to cope.’
‘Of course I’ll cope. I’m the queen of coping.’ She sniffed and brushed away a few of the tears from her cheeks. ‘I know what it’s like to work in your dream job. I’m doing it right now. Running my dad’s old medical practice has been my dream since I was fourteen years old, and although my selfishness might have caused some of my family members—namely Jasmine—a lot of pain, the thrill of finally being where I’m meant to be, of achieving those life-long goals—’
She broke off and smiled.
‘It’s…amazing. For the first time in my life I know I’m exactly where I need to be and it feels great.’ She shook her head. ‘I won’t be the one to deny you experiencing that same sensation, and I’m sure if Nell had a full grasp of the situation then she wouldn’t want that either. Both of you have worked so hard to get her to this stage of independent living. Years and years of work, and Nell is ready for you to go. It’s what she’s expecting and you risk confusing her further if you don’t go.’
Before he could say another word she turned and headed into the house, wiping at her eyes in order to clear her vision. She located her bag and car keys before turning and heading back out again.
‘You’re leaving?’ Pierce was half on the veranda, half on the threshold as she walked past him.
‘I need to.’ Before she made a complete fool of herself and begged him not to listen to a word she was saying.