A small, tight ball of worry suddenly knotted inside of my chest, though where it had come from I wasn't exactly sure. "Would you go back? I mean, if there was a place for you?"
"I don't know." There was nothing but truth in her voice and for some reason that broke my heart. "At this point, I'm not sure I really can." She glanced at me like she remembered I was there - and what we had done - all of a sudden. "I mean," she gestured between us with a glint in her eye that was much more reassuring than the wistful one that had been there a second ago.
I stood up and went to her. Putting my arms around her felt like the most natural thing in the world. "Right here. Right here is a good place for you," I said as I folded her against me.
She made a small noise that could have been a laugh or a sob, and I knew she needed the privacy to decide which it was so I just held her a moment.
She took a deep breath. "I need a shower," she said looking up at me. "If you're going to keep hugging me like this."
"Oh I am."
She smiled. Then licked her lips. She didn't say anything more, just padded over to the bathroom. But then she paused in the doorway and looked back at me before she stepped in.
Without shutting the door behind her.
"Well fuck me," I breathed. Was that an invitation?
I was just stepping forward to find out exactly that when a faint buzzing caught my attention. I nudged my toe against my jeans which were puddled on the floor next to Rachel's bed and felt the vibration of my cell phone on my foot. "Fuck." Only nine people in the whole world actually had my number which meant that if someone was calling, I needed to hear from them. I glanced at the caller ID and saw that it was the ninth person. Dale Fenwick of Silvergate Records. Our label rep. Returning my call.
I'd forgotten that I'd put in a call to him last night. Just to gauge if there was any interest in the reunion show. I'd meant to go immediately to my siblings and see how they felt about it, but then... Rachel.
Rachel had happened and made me forget everything but her.
Feeling guilty, I let it go to voicemail with a whispered, "Sorry Dale."
Then the water swished on and the thought of Rachel naked drove the guilt away.
Chapter Twenty
Rachel
I could still hear him moving around out in my bedroom, which made me acutely aware of my nakedness as I stepped into the shower.
It had been pure boldness that led me to leave the door open. Was I insane?
Or maybe I was drunk.
Drunk with the power this man made me feel.
"He didn't try." I mouthed the words to my distorted reflection in the showerhead, seeing my own wide, shocked eyes reflected back to me.
What he'd done... what he'd done to me, I knew it had to be a foregone conclusion what came next. And though I'd never done... that, before, I still knew enough about men or thought I did anyway, to know that I couldn't expect him to give like that without taking something for himself.
I wasn't blind. I could see the hunger in his eyes, the way they'd gone almost black with need. I'd felt it too, the urgency pressing against my thighs, the long hard shape of him that was both thrilling and terrifying at once. And I'd felt an answering ache inside of me when it had brushed against me, like a hole had opened up inside of me and I needed him to fill it. I was terrified, it was true, but I was ready as I had ever been before but he'd just... stopped. And snuggled up beside me.
And held me until I'd fallen asleep.
And I finally, finally understood just how wrong I'd been about him.
And if I'd been wrong about him, what else had I missed about the secular world and the people in it?
Maybe I didn't need to be so frightened. I didn't want to be frightened.
So this bright, brand new morning had me doing the bravest thing I could think of in that moment.
I left the door open so Beau could shower too.
Shower with me.
When I heard his tread on the tile, I trembled. Just a little. Not out of fear though. I was done being afraid because I'd learned that, with Beau anyway...
There was nothing to be afraid of.
He was silhouetted by the shower curtain, allowing me to watch him as he slowly slid his boxers down his hips. I sucked in my breath at the first glimpse of him. Even in shadow, he was beautiful. Even though he was a man, the word still applied. He was beautiful in the way a creek in wintertime was beautiful, with lines written by nature obscuring hidden power.
"Rachel?" he said my name.
I looked down and realized I was covering my breasts. Boldly - bravely - I let my hands fall to my sides. "Hi there."
"Is it all right if I come in?"
I wasn't frightened. I was smiling. "Yes." And just in case he needed as much reassurance that this was okay as I did, I put my hand up and in one quick stroke, I pushed the curtain to the side.
Beau's mouth fell open when he saw me. I stood there, and I should have shivered, but the heat of his gaze defied the cool water of the shower. I was blushing, I could feel it, even as I looked down and took him in.
He was fully naked. And fully - fully... I could think this word, I could say this word - erect. Yes. There was no other word for the way his... cock - I could say that word too - stood away from his body at a rigid angle. My own mouth fell open as I forced - no it wasn't force - myself to gaze at him in the exact way he was gazing at me now. With my full, careful attention, I let my eyes slip along that impossibly smooth skin, noting how it went purplish as it neared the head. My hands twitched at my sides, greedy to touch it.
Beau saw. "You look good wet," was all he said as he stepped into the tub with me and shut the curtain behind him.
All at once the space felt tiny. No matter how I shifted, I brushed up against his skin, so there was nothing to do but go into his arms when he opened them. It made perfect sense. "Good morning," I spoke into his chest.
"Yes, it is." He let his hands slide up my back. "A very good morning."
That first kiss felt easy. Natural even. He kissed me like he'd been doing it forever, like there was nothing new or strange about standing with each other while fully naked. It was easy to be brave with Beau because he didn't call attention to the strangeness.
So I kissed him back. Naturally. Easily. His smile curled across my lips even as his tongue slipped into my mouth. Minty - he'd brushed his teeth, and that fact made me smile right back at him. This whole thing, what should have been so scary, was making me smile instead.
I was happy. When I was with him I was so - fucking - happy.
"Mmm, I like you all slippery like this." He slid his hand down my arm, his fingers brushing the side of my breast.
My nipples tightened just from that slight grazing touch, starting the ache that I never seemed to be without these days. It was the ache that guided my own hands, slipping down from his shoulders and sliding past his pecs. His stomach tightened, and he hissed in a breath as my fingers sought downward and then -
Yes.
Yes.
"Fuck." He drew in a sharp breath when my hand closed around his... cock. "Rachel. Goddamn. Sorry for cursing but—"
"Don't." I stood on my tiptoes and caught his lower lip between my teeth, wanting him to stop apologizing. A fleeting thought to be frightened of doing this flickered through my head as fast as a lightning flash, but it was gone before I could grab ahold of it.
Besides, I had ahold of something much better.
"Holy." His words were muffled against my mouth. I nipped down a little harder, making him hiss, as I began to move my hand. It was some instinct that hadn't shown itself until right now. Maybe it was bravery. Or maybe I knew because of the way he was moving his hips, thrusting into my palm so that I could feel that slick skin moving inside of my grip. He, in turn, must have had some kind of instinct that told him what to do. How else would he have known the ache this was causing me. "So beautiful," he rasped against my lips as he slid his hand between my thighs.<
br />
The second his fingers made contact with my overheated skin, it was like a bomb went off inside of me. I shrieked against his lips, going up onto my tiptoes when he slipped that finger inside of me. It was tight, painfully so, until it wasn't. Until it was perfect and I needed more.
And that's when Beau took over.
Some part of me was still trying to move my hand, still trying to be in control of what was happening, but he overrode me, spinning me around so that my back was against the cold shower wall. I yelped when he pushed me flat against the cool tile, then yelped again when he slipped another finger inside of me - "Oh! Oh..."
A quick, bright flash of pain melted away, leaving only warm, spreading pleasure in its wake. His thick fingers were thrusting in perfect time - fast enough to give me the delicious friction but slow enough so that I felt it every time. I wrapped my hands around his neck and then... and then I lifted my leg and wrapped it around his waist, pulling him closer to me. The head of his cock just brushed against me. So close, so close. "Ah fuck, that feels so fucking good, angel," Beau groaned as he pulled his fingers away. I watched, rapt and completely dumbfounded as he slid his slippery... cock... along the soft folds of my most private place. The delicious friction, the tantalizing slide of it, had my knees quivering in a moment. I clung to Beau, crying out as he lowered his forehead to mine. The way his eyes fixed on me sent me right over the edge and suddenly I was shaking and quivering and then crying out. "Fuck, yes. Fuck, yes." Beau kept up a litany of quiet, strangled whispers, urging me to fall, and fall I did because I knew he would catch me.
When I blinked back up at him, the water had gone lukewarm, but there was... there was still something.
I closed my hand around him.
"You don't have to," he rasped out, but I was already moving my hand again. His cock felt even more slippery in my hands and I realized with a start that it was from me - that was my slickness. "I want to," I reminded him, and I did. "I want to see you - uh - I want to watch..."
My words faded into a blush, but Beau understood. "You want me to come for you, angel?"
I nodded, licking my lips.
"Here." He put his hand over mine, making me grip tighter. "Like that," he urged, guiding me to grip right up to that silky head. "You have to look at me. I want to see your face. Oh, fuck, Rachel." His lips fell open. I gasped when his cock twitched and somehow got even harder. "Rachel, I—"
His words were lost in a strangled cry. He jerked his hips back with a long, low groan, but I didn't avert my eyes the way he probably thought I would. I watched as he sagged against the wall and gasped with his strong shoulders heaving with each ragged breath.
"Rachel," he finally whispered. He straightened up and then caught my mouth with his.
The water had gone completely cold by then. But I barely noticed.
Chapter Twenty-One
Rachel
I shivered over my coffee and took another warming sip. "Better?" Beau asked.
I looked up at him and smiled. Or, actually, I smiled wider, because I hadn't actually stopped smiling yet today. "Getting there." It was kind of adorable how freaked out he was by my shivering. "I'll warm up soon enough."
"We should have gotten out before the water got so cold but..." He trailed off and raised an eyebrow that did a much better job of warming me up than my cup of coffee.
"But," I echoed with an even wider smile. I felt like my face was going to split wide open.
He topped off my mug and then sat down at my battered kitchen table. "You sure you don't have to go in today?"
I nodded. "I'm not on the schedule. I double checked."
He leaned forward, and I was momentarily too distracted by the nice way his forearm muscle bunched and flexed as he rested his elbows on the table to hear what he was saying. "What?"
He grinned and set his mug down. "Today. You want to go there today?"
"Go where?"
Beau didn't get mad when he had to repeat himself. Which was nice because I always seemed to be distracted when I was around him.
"The Summer Kick-off Festival is this weekend." He leaned back in his chair and looked out the window. The ever-present burble of the creek floated in on the breeze, along with the screech of blue jays and the buzz of red-winged blackbirds. It was already hot in the kitchen and the last chill of the shower faded away as I sat in the sunbeam and watched Beau think. "I always wanted to go, but we always missed it. Touring and summer festivals and stuff. It was this big huge thing for the town and this is literally the first year I can make it." He looked at me. "You've been, right?"
I ducked my head and took a sip of my coffee. "As a spectator. No." I set down my mug, the better to twist my fingers nervously in my lap as I recalled. "When I was really little, they kept me away. You know, there's a lot of bad influences there." Beau raised his eyebrows in surprise at this, which made me laugh. "The sight of women wearing short shorts and holding hands with men and kissing in public and all. That kind of bad influence." Beau's eyebrows went back down again as he blew out a rueful sigh. "But when I was older though, I worked it."
He leaned forward again. "Right, that's right. The Chosen have a booth I heard."
I nodded. "We sell a few spring vegetables and some honey, but mostly it's baked goods."
"Like the potato bread you made me?" He looked suddenly hungry.
"We'd be up all week beforehand just so we could bake enough, but we always ran out." I shrugged. "So my whole experience of the festival is from the back of a tent. We'd roll the community truck right to the back of it, the better to discourage us from walking around and... seeing things." I went to take another sip of my coffee but then set it back down again. The acid in my stomach was already acting up just from remembering.
"Do you not want to go?" Beau's voice was soft and gentle.
God, he was so sweet. I leaned in and covered his hand with mine. "I think it would be different now, don't you?"
It's different now. That's what I told myself as we parked along the street a few blocks from the center of town. The road blocks were set up and the tents crowded the streets and tumbled out onto the bridge that crossed the creek. Above us blazed a bright blue, high-summer sky and the air was full of the smells of cotton candy and kettle corn.
I felt my breath catch in my chest. In the past weeks, I'd engaged in a million little rebellions, but this was a big one. Made even bigger when Beau reached for my hand.
It felt good to be linked to him like this. It felt good to walk down the middle of the street, unconcerned that others might see me touching him. It felt so... good.
I stopped suddenly and spun around. Beau laughed in surprise when I went up on my tiptoes to kiss him, but he caught me up in his arms readily and kissed me back. Right there in the middle of the street. It was wild. It was crazy.
It was amazing.
"I could get used to this," he murmured against my mouth. When I looked up at him, his hazel eyes twinkled. "Is that all right? ‘Cause I really want to get used to this."
Pleasurable heat spread up my face. "That'd be okay with me," I mumbled as I looked down at my toes. Then grinned to myself as he slung his arm over my shoulder.
We wandered that way through the stalls, weaving our way from vendor to vendor and always with some part touching. He brushed his hand on my arm to call my attention to a set of windchimes he thought would hang nicely on my porch. I ducked under his arm to admire some earrings he immediately bought for me. He slid his hand around my waist and held me close as he ordered us both some of the kettle corn that had been driving us crazy with its delicious smells. I rested my head on his shoulder as we sat on the curb and devoured it across the street from the Crown Tavern.
"Hey." He nudged me and pointed to the chalked sign in the middle of the sidewalk in front of the bar. "You see that?"
"Open mic?" I read. "Yeah?"
"You should do that."
"Me?" I looked at him in confusion.
He grin
ned and popped a piece of kettle corn into my mouth. "Dare you." There was mischief in his hazel eyes.
"Seriously?" I looked at the sign again. "No way."
"I'll play the piano for you." When I looked at him again, he shrugged. "Or you can do it alone, whichever you prefer."
"No way!" I laughed and nudged my shoulder into his. But then paused and thought for a second. "Do you really think I should do it?" A small bud of pride was starting to bloom in my chest.
"Absolutely. You have a fucking beautiful voice." When he caught me gaping at him, he shrugged again. "What? You swore in front of me last night, I thought we were past that."
I laughed and stole the rest of his popcorn. "Fuck you." I grinned gleefully, which made him burst out laughing.
"I'm going to sign us up." He got up and wiped his hands on his jeans. "You're not going to try to stop me?"
I took a deep breath and then let it out. The last bit of worry about the sin of pride. "No."
He held out his hand and then hauled me to my feet. We crossed the road and went over to the tattered piece of paper hanging on the corkboard just inside of the bar. Inside, Taylor was desultorily wiping down the bar, but even his fierce scowl couldn't dampen my wild spirits. I signed my name and then flung myself at Beau, kissing him with everything I had, right there inside of the doorway to Crown Creek's only bar. He lifted me and then let his lips trail down past my jaw. I opened my eyes in shock when he nibbled my neck and that's when I saw the group of women staring.
"Rebecca." My mouth was suddenly as dry as a desert.
Confused, Beau pulled away and looked in the direction I was staring.
A girl dressed in pale blue homespun stepped forward. She was taller than when I last saw her, and her face had lost some of its roundness.
But I'd recognize my sister anywhere.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Beau
She dropped my hand like it had scalded her. Her whole body was stiff as she stared at the Chosen woman who had stepped away from the group.
Soft Wild Ache (Crown Creek) Page 10