by Cathryn Fox
“More,” I say. “Fuck me hard, Justin.”
“Jesus Christ,” he says and pulls almost all the way out, only to stab back into me, a thrust so hard and powerful, I climax around his hard cock. My hot juices drip over him, and he groans, holds my shoulders and spurts his seed inside me. I clench, not wanting a drop to spill. My God, if we’re going to continue to do this, I need to get on birth control.
His hot breath washes over my neck as he pants, and I breathe with him, waiting for the room to right itself. We stay that way until his cock grows flaccid and he pulls out of me. He helps me up, and I turn to find him smiling at me. He grabs a tissue from his desk, slides it between my legs and cleans me up.
“That was…” I shake my head unable to find the right word.
“Something we can continue to do,” he says.
“Justin…no…”
“Move in with me.”
Oh God, how can he ask me that. I’m in so deep and not being with him everyday will surely kill me but we’re not supposed to be together. “I can’t. Besides I have a brand new furnished apartment. It would be such a waste.”
“I don’t care about any of that. Stay with me. We’ll keep it a secret.”
“It’s too dangerous.”
“We’ll be careful.” What he’s asking is wrong, there is so much at risk, but he’s an addiction, and quitting him would be like giving up air.
Be strong, Violet.
“I don’t—”
He presses his finger to my lips. “Just answer one question.”
“What?”
Do you want to stay with me?”
“Yes.”
“Then it’s settled.”
7
Violet
The cool fall air and changing colors are so beautiful here in Pennsylvania. I glance out the window and take in the scenery as Justin drives me to the coffee shop. We’ve fallen in to an amazing routine. He picks me up at the end of the day at the coffee shop, and drops me off there in the morning. I always make sure the coast is clear when I come or go from his car. But his car doesn’t stand out, and is one of the many black Civics in the school’s parking lot.
He slides a hand across the seat and gives my leg a squeeze, just like he does every morning before I slip from the passenger seat. A kiss is too much of a risk. I squeeze his hand, and think about being back in his arms tonight. I went on the pill after our fun in his office, so now we can have sex without the worry of pregnancy.
Honestly, I’m not sure how long this relationship is going to last, and I still have my apartment that I’m not using yet still paying for. But I’m not going to worry about any of that. Here I thought a relationship would take me away from my studies, but it hasn’t done that at all. At night when he’s grading papers, preparing for his lecture, or writing, I lose myself in my homework. Justin has gotten over his writer’s block. He calls me his muse, and is almost finished his book. I’ve read parts and it’s amazing. I’ve also made a really good friend. Madeline and I met at study group and have become close. I still can’t tell her about Justin, but we talk about everything else. I exhale a happy breath. Right now, the world, as I know it is perfect.
“See you tonight,” I say.
“You bet you will. Oh, don’t forget Jackson is flying in.”
“I’m looking forward to meeting him.” I’m excited that I’m going to get to meet one of his old college buddies from Virginia. He assures me Jackson is a good guy, and will keep our secret safe.
I slip from the car, shut the door behind me, and pull my coat closed as I hurry into the coffee shop. I order my usual, and turn, but when I do, I nearly crash into the two assholes who whistled at me that first day in class.
“Excuse me,” I say.
“No, excuse me.”
The two jocks form a wall, and every time I try to move they move with me. “Do you mind?”
One guy looks at the other. “I don’t mind? Do you mind, Sean?”
Sean shakes his head. “I don’t mind. Do you mind, Bret?”
“Hell no,” the mouth breather named Bret responds.
“Get out of my way, or I’ll report you both.”
“To who? Dean Chisholm?” Bret asks, a cocky grin on his face.
I freeze. Does he know?
“Just leave or you’ll be sorry,” I say, lowering my voice.
Sean touches my coat. “Those are pretty strong words coming from the girl who’s fucking her prof.”
I gasp.
“Oh come on, we’re not the only ones who know the prof got himself a little sex toy. Apparently that’s his thing. Rumor has it, he fucked some freshman last year, too. Moves on to a new freshman every year.”
I open my mouth, want to defend him, but my coffee falls from my hand and the guys jump back. I glare at them, but they just grin. “Tonight. You and us. You’re going to be our little fuck toy. We’ll pick you up here at seven. If you don’t show, you’ll be the one who’s sorry,” Bret says.
They both turn and their laughter curdles my blood as they leave. The store manager comes running over. “Are you okay? Did those boys hurt you?”
Hurt me? Oh, yeah, they know just how to hurt me. “No,” I say quickly and shake my head. I need to tell Justin. My stomach roils as I hurry to the campus and head to his office.
“Violet,” he says and jumps from his seat when he sees me. “What the hell?”
“Sean and Bret,” I say, unable to keep my voice from trembling. “They know. Somehow they know about us and threatened me.” His hands on my shoulders squeeze.
“Fuck,” he says.
“I’m so sorry. I’ve been so careful. I have no idea how they know.”
He shakes his head. “None of this is your fault. None of it.”
“It’s definitely my fault. I at least hold some of the blame. I never should have started this, Justin. Now I might have ruined your career.” I break from his arms. “We can’t. It’s over. If we’re not together, they can’t threaten you.”
“Violet, please.” He reaches for me but I back up. “We can fix this.”
Heartache sets my chest on fire. “I am fixing it. Justin, I’m sorry. It’s over.”
Tears fall as I make my escape and rush through the school. Since I’m too shaken up to attend classes today, I run to the bus stop. I need to go back to my apartment, and cry until I no longer have tears.
An hour later, I let myself into my apartment and collapse on the brand new bed Justin sent a couple of months ago. I turn my ringer off, curl up in a ball and let the tears fall. I cry until I fall asleep and when darkness fills the apartment, I hear someone pounding on my door.
Justin.
I want to answer. God, I want to answer so badly, but I can’t. His life could already be ruined because of me.
The knocking finally stops, and I fall into a restless sleep. How will I ever face him tomorrow? I’ll have to drop his class. No way can I bear to see him every day. By the time morning comes around, my eyes are so swollen I can barely see out of them. I shower, apply a shit-ton of makeup and step outside. The sun hurts, burns my retinas, as I make my way to the bus stop. First thing on my agenda is to head to registration, and drop the class, but when I get to school and see his car in the lot with PROF IS FUCKING VIOLET spray painted on the doors, my legs go out from underneath me.
8
Justin
I shake my legs restlessly as I stare at my father’s red face. “You’re a huge disappointment to me, Justin.”
I fidget in the chair opposite him. I’m a grown man, and it always baffles me how my father can reduce me to a child. I feel like I’m one of the university students getting their knuckles rapped with a ruler.
He glares at me. “Do you have any idea how bad this looks on me?”
A sound crawls out of my throat.
“You think this is funny?”
“No, I don’t,” I say. “I think it’s ridiculous. I’m in love with her, Dad. We’re not hurt
ing anyone.”
“It’s a goddamn conflict of interest and as my son I would have expected you of all people to be setting a better example in this place.”
“I didn’t want to be here in the fucking first place. This…” I say as I wave my hand around his big office. “Is what you and Mom wanted for me. I didn’t want any of it.”
“Get your damn head out of the clouds. Do you know how hard it is to make a living as a writer? You’ll starve to death.”
“No, I have no idea how hard it is, because you and mom beat that choice out of me. I never had the chance to even try.”
He shakes his head. “This college is what provides you a living,” he says.
No, it doesn’t. But I’ve been enough of a disappointment to him today. No sense in telling him I’m getting rich off my side stripping business. Filthy fucking rich. He already looks like he’s about to have a heart attack.
“This girl, she’ll be removed from your class.”
My heart aches as I think about the way she flew out of my office. Fuck, I love her so much. How can I make this right? “I don’t think she plans to come back to it anyway.”
“Good, then you promise me never to see her again. If you do, I’ll bend the rules this one time, but there won’t be a next.”
I glance at my clock. I need to get out of here. A sick Jackson is at my place waiting for me. He’d gotten food poisoning on the plane, we think.
“You’re right,” I say, as I stand. “There won’t be a next time.”
9
Violet
My phone pings and my heart races. I’ve been ignoring Justin’s calls and texts for both of our sakes. When I steal a peek, I’m not sure whether I’m sad or relieved that it’s my good friend Madeline. I read her text. “Hey were are you? You weren’t in class today.”
“Not feeling well.”
“Did you hear the rumors going around the campus?” I don’t text back. What the hell am I supposed to say? “Apparently Prof Chisholm is sleeping with a student.”
Oh, God. Now everyone knows.
“Her name is Violet. Um, do we need to talk?” When I still don’t answer she texts. “Tell me where you are. You don’t have to go through this alone.”
My heart wobbles. She really is a good friend.
“Okay,” I say, needing someone to talk to. I give her my address and pace the floors until she arrives. A knock comes and I peek out to make sure it’s her. She takes one look at me and holds her arms out. I sink into her embrace and the tears come once again.
For the rest of the day, and into the next, we sip tea and talk, and take cat naps. I spill my guts, needing to talk about Justin. When dinner hour comes around that night, she says, “We’re going out.”
I hold my hands up. “No. I’m not ready for that.”
“I’m sure as hell not leaving you in this place alone. You need to go out and get our mind on something else for a while.”
“Madeline—”
She stands. “Up. It’s Saturday night. We’ve been in here for two days, and we both need some fresh air.”
“I really don’t want—”
“Doctor’s orders.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re not a doctor.”
“Yet.”
“No,” I say, but it sounds feeble even to me. Maybe getting out is exactly what I need. Being here, surrounded by all the things Justin bought me only makes me think of him. “Okay, a quiet drink, just the two of us.”
Two hours later we’re at one of Madeline’s friends’ birthday party. I have no idea how she dragged me to a bar with so many people, or rather to the private room in the back of the bar. It sort of reminds me of my birthday, when my co-workers hired that stripper for me. My heart squeezes. That was the night I gave myself to Justin, the night I fell in love with a man who means everything to me—which is why I had to walk away from our relationship.
I sip my daiquiri and stand back a bit, and the man dances around the room. As I watch him, a strange tingle slides down my spine. I straighten, and narrow my eyes. There is something so oddly familiar about him. He’s not wearing a cowboy outfit and mask like my stripper did. No, he’s dressed as a fireman, and has on a helmet, which obscures his features. The music is so loud that Madeline has to scream into my ear for me to hear her.
“He’s fucking hot,” she says. “Maybe you can forget all about prof with a guy like him.”
He moves about the room, his body so familiar to me. I suck in a tight breath. No, I can’t be right. He shakes his ass in some girl’s face, making his way to the back of the room, where I’m standing. Our eyes meet, and he goes perfectly still, hardly able to believe what I’m seeing.
He reaches for me, and I stumble backwards, praying I’m seeing things. “Justin?” I ask still not wanting to believe it. He stands there, staring at me, for what feels like an eternity, then he takes his helmet off.
“Prof Chisholm?” someone screams, incredulous.
Another girl shrieks. “Ohmigod, it is him.”
“Prof is a bad, bad boy!”
“What…” Sean and Bret’s words come racing back. He likes to take on a new freshman every year. Was that all I was to him? “I need to get out of here.”
I try to leave, but he holds my arm. “Violet, hear me out. Let me explain.”
Angry and hurt, I can’t keep the tears from falling. “That night. My party…was it?”
“Yes, it was me.”
My gut clenches. “All this time. I thought it was a chance meeting. But you just wanted to fuck the birthday girl. Did you know I was coming to Penn State, too?”
Justin is a stripper? Does he fuck all the girls he danced for, like he did me?
“No. I run a business. My friends and I started it in college. It grew and expanded. I gave up dancing when I met you.”
A garbled noise catches in my throat as I glance at his fireman’s costume. “Doesn’t look that way to me.”
“You were supposed to meet Jackson this weekend. This was his gig, but he’s sick. He’s at my place with his head in the toilet as I speak. If you don’t believe me—”
“Why would I believe you?” I hear a snicker, and that’s when I realize we have an audience. God, someone turned the music off and all heads are turned our way. I’ll be the laughing stock of the school tomorrow. “Believe you,” I say, despite the crowd. “Why would I believe anything you said? You’ve been lying to me all this time.”
“I haven’t lied to you. I just didn’t tell you about this.”
“I thought we knew all there was to know about each other. I though you actually cared about me.”
“I do care about you. I love you, Violet.”
A knot tightens my throat. I love him so much. But how can I believe he loves me. For all I know he fucks all the girls he dances for.
“That’s why I quit my job.” Gasps could be heard in the crowd, but none of them as loud as mine.
“You did what?”
He reaches for me again and this time I don’t flinch. “You can’t quit. You have a house…responsibilities.”
“None of them mean anything without you.”
My heart soars, but I can’t let him quit. “You need money to live, Justin.” I, of all people, know that.
“I have money. A shit load of it.” My eyes go wide. “This business. It’s very lucrative. Now we can be together, no hiding, and I can work on my writing, my true passion.” He winks. “Besides you.”
“I can’t believe—”
“Marry me.”
More gasps.
“I know this isn’t the time or place to be asking that, I was going to come by your place again tonight, hoped you’d let me in this time, but…” He drops to one knee. “Marry me, Violet. Make me the happiest man in the world.”
“I…”
“Say yes,” someone yells and we both laugh.
“Be my wife, have my babies. I want us to be a family.”
Family.
> I look at the man on his knees before me and my heart crashes against my chest. He’s offering me everything I’ve ever wanted.
“I can’t.” I say.
He exhales sharply, and presses his hand to his head. “Violet…”
“I can’t until I get my degree,” I say quickly. “It’s important to me.”
He stands and takes me into his arm. “It’s important to me, too. You’re important to me.”
The crowd starts clapping, and to know they’re all on my side, and I won’t be the laughingstock tomorrow, warms me. “I love you, and more than anything want to be your wife, give you babies.”
Someone turns the music back on. “Dance for us, Prof.”
He shakes his head no, and holds up the fire hose. “Nope, I’m hanging up my hose.”
I give his a little shove. “Go. Finish. Give the birthday girl what her friends paid for,” I say, confident in my man, and the love he has for me. These girls might get to look, but when we get home, I, and only I, get to touch.
“I love you, Violet.”
“Love you, too.”
Lust fills his eyes. “Oh, and speaking of birthdays. I’m not certain I ever gave you all your spankings.”
Love soars through me. “When we get home, Professor Bad Boy, you can spank away.”
Thank You!
Thank you so much for reading, Confessions of a Bad Boy Professor, book one in my Confessions series. I hope you enjoyed the story as much as I loved writing it. Be sure to read on for an excerpt of Confessions of a Bad Boy Officer.
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Happy Reading,
Cathryn
Confessions of a Bad Boy Cop