Because what I want is you.
“We can work something out,” Karin pressed. “I want justice for Dad, and I want Ryland to be free of this for Allie's sake. They’re dating now, you know.” She twisted a lock of her hair around her fingers, something she did when she was nervous or hesitant. “But I don’t think I can sleep with you. You did betray me.”
I bared my teeth in an effort to mask my turmoil. “My loyalties are to myself, and myself only. I never pretended otherwise.”
“You can still do the right thing,” she insisted. “That’s why you went into law, isn’t it?”
“You think I did it out of guilt?” I gave her my meanest smile. “Darling, I don’t give a damn about justice. I’m in it for the money.”
The irony of practicing law as a criminal wasn’t lost on me. As a financial attorney who was in the pockets of some of the dirtiest bastards in the country, I made a killing off vanishing messes.
Justice was blind, that much was true, but not in the way most people wanted it to be. It simply swayed towards the one with the stronger hand, not so much different from a card game.
And I’d always been a betting man.
“You’re not getting anything out of me, love. Best walk away while you can.”
Karin sighed and hopped off the desk.
But instead of leaving, she came over to me.
“I’m not just here for the confession,” she admitted. “I wanted to see you too. Allie told me you got into a fight with Ryland and Gabriel last week.” She raised her brows. “At the same time.”
I stared back sullenly. She had no right to worry about me. I was no one to her but the person who ruined her life.
“I’m here for your inspection.” I held my hands out mockingly, not bothering to get up from the chair. “What's your verdict?”
Karin chewed on her bottom lip for a moment. “I think I need a better look.”
She came closer to me without warning, bracing her hands on the armrests on either side of me. Her legs stepped between my spread knees, coming dangerously near where I was hard for her.
I went deathly still, my heart racing a thousand miles. “What are you doing?”
Karin leaned in slowly, bringing her face close to mine. Her gray eyes were luminous, nearly silver, framed by lush lashes that gave her the look of a doe. Vanilla surrounded me in an intoxicating cloud, filling my nose with her sweet scent.
I found myself shifting back in the chair, trying to get away from the five-foot-three female who was inching closer by the second. “The fuck are you—”
My words died when Karin's small hand came to my face.
“Shh,” she said. “Hold still…”
She gently touched my jaw where the shadow of a bruise remained, her cool fingertips caressing my overheated skin.
I mulishly kept my eyes on a point on her neck, even as my body drank in the feeling of her touch like water absorbing into a parched tongue. I was so fucking hungry for her that I couldn’t move a muscle. I couldn't breathe.
“It looks painful,” she murmured sympathetically.
I swallowed against my dry throat. By now I was right up to the back of the chair in my bid to escape her.
Then I made the mistake of looking up.
Karin’s face hovered just inches away from mine, her face showing the same artlessness and patience that had ruined me from the moment I laid eyes on her. Her gaze lingered on my face as she caressed my jaw in a soft, excruciating touch.
“Does it hurt?” she whispered, her eyes twin pools of silver. Her breath fanned over my face, sweet with a hint of vanilla.
I was vaguely aware that my breathing was coming too damned fast, my nostrils flaring with the effort to keep still instead of grabbing her.
My careful rein on my emotions was unraveling by the second, but Karin… Karin seemed to see through me without any effort at all, looking so damned composed and heartbreakingly lovely while I was tied up in knots.
It had always been this way when it came to her. I never felt a thing in my life, not regret, not happiness nor grief. Not until Karin was involved.
Then everything rushed to the fore and demanded to be let out, like I had saved up every emotion for her alone.
I had to be away from her, for my own sanity. Her presence alone was like crack to an addict, and if there was one thing I knew, it was that I was addicted to Karin Beckett.
I took her wrist and wrenched her hand away.
“If you're done playing Florence Nightingale,” I snarled, “then let's stop this bullshit. Your five minutes is up.”
Karin’s chin set stubbornly. “I’m not leaving until you talk to me.”
“Then I’ll just have to throw you out. Fair warning—I won’t be gentle.” I got up from the chair, towering over Karin with my full height. I let all the ugliness inside me show, holding absolutely nothing back.
“Which will it be, princess?”
It suddenly occurred to me that of all the dumb ideas I ever came up with, this might just be the worst. I was in an unfamiliar part of Brooklyn, alone in a dark apartment with a pissed-off guy from my past that had always been on the wrong side of moral.
I folded my arms and lifted my chin to glare back at Theo, which put my neck at an oh-so-comfortable angle. “If you’re trying to scare me, it’s not working.”
It was kind of working. Theo’s clipped British vowels had softened over the years to include a hint of arrogant American drawl. I didn’t think there was anything meaner than those threats being delivered in that accent.
It was also impossible to ignore that Theo was quite simply, half-naked. My nose was practically kissing his bare chest.
I was torn between asking him to put a shirt on and telling him to stay this way, but it wasn’t like I wasn’t prepared for him to look this…mouth-watering. Every once in a while, in moments of weakness I’d deny till my dying breath, I checked in on Theo’s life through photos on Google or social media, spying on him behind layers of firewalls and incognito browsers.
Theo in real life was even more intense than those photos showed. Dark, almost-black hair, with the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. They were a rich amber that turned a dark gold under the right lighting, shot through with brown shards.
It always amazed me that Theo had eyes so pretty when the rest of him was hard-edged and raw. His body was even more ripped now, honed from years of punishing workouts. His arms were the size of my thighs, and sinfully sculpted with muscle. The scar at his side only made him seem more dangerous.
I jerked my gaze back to his face, hoping that my spreading blush wouldn’t give me away.
Theo gave me his usual smile, deceptively pleasant and laced with contempt. “I nearly forgot. You’re not afraid of anything.” He cocked his head. “Shall we see if that’s changed?”
Something in his expression made me take a step back. “What do you mean?”
“Use that imagination of yours, princess,” he murmured, golden eyes burning with intent. “You’re in my apartment, alone with me… What activity do you suppose we could get up to?”
I tried to ignore that he was using the old nickname he had for me again. “Are you going to force yourself on me?”
“Am I that low in your eyes?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted.
But I did know, once. Once, a smile from me was all it took for the simmering anger in Theo Valentine’s eyes to fade.
I had hoped I would find remnants of that boy, but looking up at the imposing man before me now, I realized that he had become someone who could tear me down without even batting an eyelid.
Theo had been unpredictable back then, but now he felt downright dangerous. Intensity radiated from him like an undercurrent rippling just beneath his surface, ready to erupt anytime and take everything with it. His home, his lair was all concrete and metal, shadowy and ominous, seeming to ooze the same danger as its master.
This wasn’t the same guy I knew back
in San Juan. This was him with all his darkness multiplied by a thousand.
I took another half-step backward, and this time he followed.
“Hello.” I swallowed. “Welcome to my personal space.”
“You’re in my home,” Theo countered smoothly. “Every inch of space here is my personal space.”
“Okay, firstly, that statement is flawed. Going by that logic, since you rented this place, we are both in the personal space of the landlord. That makes us personal space equals, which means mine is just as important as yours…”
I trailed off as Theo continued his advance on me, stalking me like I was his prey. I backed away, vaguely aware that my body was getting hotter—literally.
“I’m going to fall in the fire if you keep doing this. I don’t know about you, but I like my skin where it is. On my body and not, you know, melted off.”
Theo didn’t look concerned. “I’ll take my chances.”
I backed away again, but with my usual grace, I somehow placed my left foot wrong. My weight wobbled for a second, but before I could stumble, Theo took my hand and yanked me towards him and away from the fire.
It could have been romantic, except that Theo let go of me just as quickly like I was a leper. He clenched his fist at his side as if he had been burned.
I squinted at his stony expression. “I thought you said you wouldn’t care if I fell in.”
“I’d rather not deal with the aftermath, and you’ve already taken up enough of my time.”
For all his cutting words, it wasn’t lost on me that Theo had placed himself between me and the fire.
The flames behind him outlined his black hair and his broad shoulders in warm flickering light. The shadows they cast darkened his eyes, turning them a burnished gold.
I would have loved to paint him in that moment. He looked like a fallen angel that had emerged from the flames behind him, rising straight from the depths of hell. The most beautiful man I had ever seen, and the most flawed.
“Did you take Dad’s money?” I blurted.
Theo’s jaw ticked. “Not a fucking cent.”
“Ryland said you did.”
“Ryland isn’t always right, contrary to what he thinks.” His expression remained an impenetrable wall, though I sensed that he was less composed than he was pretending to be. “You clearly have questions for me.”
“I have thousands of questions! It’s not every day you find out your dad’s death wasn’t an accident but a murder.”
Theo turned abruptly, heading straight for the liquor on his bar cart. “By all means, let’s hear them.” He downed a half glass in one go and immediately began pouring another.
I eyed him warily. “You sure that’s a good idea? You were drinking even before I got here.”
“Conveniently for me, I'm a high-functioning alcoholic, which means I get to maintain my dignity while covertly drinking myself to death.” Theo raised his glass to me in a mocking toast and braced the back of his thighs against his desk. “Go on, then.”
I hesitated, absently fiddling with the zipper on my parka. Whether or not I liked the answers, it was something Theo owed me and something I had to know.
But was I ready to hash this out with him?
“After Dad passed away, Estelle bribed the cops and got back the gun she used to…to kill him.” My throat closed a little. This was harder than I had thought. “The four of you—Ryland, Gabriel, Cam and you—you were the ones who gave that gun to her, and it had fingerprints on it. All of the guys’… except yours.”
“You’re asking if I had a hand in planning your father’s murder.”
I met Theo’s cool gaze head-on.
“You gotta admit, it looks bad,” I said quietly. “You took Estelle’s side when you could have simply taken the gun from her and given her up to the authorities. And then ten years later, that same weapon was used to blackmail the other guys.” I breathed in, then exhaled slowly to steady myself for his answer. “Please tell me the truth. I have the right to know.”
Theo’s expression betrayed nothing. “It was sheer luck that I didn’t handle the gun beforehand,” he said coolly. “If my prints had been there, you can be sure Estelle would have blackmailed me too. She did just try to kill me last week.”
My heart lurched.
Allie had said that Estelle went out of her mind when she realized Theo had secretly taped her confession. The gun she pointed at him had been empty, but she hadn’t known that. In the end, she had aimed point blank at his head, pulling the trigger on her own son.
“I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say.
The apparent nonchalance of Theo’s posture and his taunting gaze painted a picture of self-assuredness and control. He was completely unreadable, and yet I knew there was something else he was hiding away.
“Don’t you regret any of it?” I whispered.
“Do I look like a man with regrets?”
“No.” He just looked like a man who stopped caring about anything a long time ago.
“You should be raging at me for what I did to you, not trying to cut deals with me,” Theo remarked softly. “I can’t decide if you’re incredibly brave, or incredibly foolish.”
“They do go hand-in-hand pretty often.” I hugged my arms around my waist, trying to warm myself up from the chill that had nothing to do with the weather. “I’ve had two months to process this. I was—am—angry at you.”
I held his gaze from across the room. “But you weren’t the one who pulled the trigger on Dad. And you didn’t plan for it to happen. I couldn’t help thinking… if Allie can find it in her to forgive Ryland, maybe I could forgive you too. If you make amends,” I added.
Theo’s expression chilled. “And so you came to me with the notion that we would have the same outcome,” he taunted. “Ever the romantic. But your fantasy will remain as such, princess, because the difference between Ryland and me is that he wanted that forgiveness. I don’t care for it. I want your anger. I want your hate.”
I was confused. “You want me to hate you? But why?”
Theo didn’t answer, but I knew there was more than what he was letting on.
And if he had the capacity to feel regret, then he also deserved a chance to make it right.
“You can still fix this, Theo.”
“By giving you this?” He lifted his hand casually, holding the black flash drive between two fingers.
My heart leaped. “Are you?”
His lips curved cruelly. “No.”
“There has to be some kind of agreement we can come to,” I insisted.
“I assure you, there isn’t. It’s time for you to leave, Karin, you’ve overstayed your welcome.”
“One kiss!” I blurted, wincing the moment the impulsive, horrifying words escaped my mouth.
Oh my god, what was I doing?
Theo went completely still, his gaze snapping to me alertly.
All in, K. I squared my shoulders. “I’ll let you kiss me in exchange for Estelle’s confession.”
Theo’s wall of indifference shifted then, and I thought I caught a glimpse of raw hunger burning in his eyes. I sucked in a breath, but it had vanished so quickly I didn’t know if it had been a trick of the firelight.
His expression darkened, his first true sign of anger since we started talking. “You’ll kiss a man you despise for Ryland? Or is it Gabriel?”
I was stunned. “Of course not, I’m doing this for Allie! She gave up everything for me. And I don’t despise—”
“The little princess, come to the dragon’s lair to sacrifice herself,” Theo drawled, prowling towards me with deceptive casualness. “Aren’t you so fucking noble?”
Any hope that this was the boy I had once been in love with was put out quicker than a candle in a tsunami. I now knew for sure that that boy was gone, killed by this man with the hard glint in his eyes and the cruel smile that bordered on a sneer. It would be fatal to trust him.
But I was obviously feeling more
brave than smart, because instead of beating it out of there like I should have, I drew a steadying breath.
“Everyone deserves a second chance, Theo.”
“Not me,” he said softly, drawing close. “This,” he held up the flash drive, “will remain with me. I will not change my mind.”
My heart sank at the finality in his tone. Without Estelle’s confession, Allie would always have it hanging over her head that Ryland may be sent to jail any moment for the murder of our father.
I couldn’t let that happen.
Without thinking, I darted for the flash drive, but Theo snapped it out of my reach effortlessly.
The front of my body brushed against him with our movements, the sensual contact drawing a gasp from me. Theo was all heat and hardness, all male strength. Perfectly formed and as seductive as the most tempting sin.
I swallowed audibly. “Give it to me.”
“You’re bold today,” Theo murmured, his eyes going heavy-lidded. “Perhaps I’ll offer a deal of my own. Give up your demands… and I’ll let you have me for one night.”
“W-what?”
Theo advanced on me like a prowling cat, backing me up against the wall. I pressed my palms on his bare chest as he closed in, but I knew I couldn’t do a thing to stop him if he wanted to take me.
Theo knew that too.
“We’ll get to know each other as intimately as you like,” he continued in that low, dangerous voice. He braced his forearms on the wall behind me, trapping my head between his biceps. “You might even find my company…pleasurable.”
I took another breath to clear my head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
But my hands stayed on his chest, my fingers twitching involuntarily to test the hardness of him.
Theo flexed his pecs suddenly, making his muscles jump under my palms. I snatched my hands away.
His lips twisted in a mean smile. “You make it so damned easy.”
My back was right against the wall, my breasts brushing the front of his chest. I felt a pressure against my stomach, not exactly pressing into me, but it was there, hard and impossible to ignore.
Trapping me was turning Theo on.
I swallowed hard, suddenly realizing what he would be like in bed. He would want control over his partner. He would want a complete surrender.
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