by Hope White
He nodded. Took a deep breath. And felt her hand touch his shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “About your brother.”
She knew the truth. He let Bobby die.
“Did they find the man who kidnapped me?” he said, not able to make eye contact.
“Spence, look at me.”
He glanced into her eyes.
“Your brother’s death was not your fault.”
“You don’t know anything about it,” he snapped. “You weren’t there.”
“No, I wasn’t. But I know a thirteen-year-old boy shouldn’t be held responsible for an accident. Is that why you went into medicine?”
He nodded.
“It’s a blessing you did. Think of all the people you’ve helped as a doctor.”
“It’ll never be enough,” he said. “I didn’t help the one who mattered most.”
“If Bobby were here right now, do you think he’d want you be punishing yourself like this?”
He glared at her. “He’s not here. That’s the point. And what are you, my counselor?”
An expression he’d never seen before flashed in her green eyes. His words had hurt her, deeply. Probably a good thing. He had wanted to drive her away, and perhaps this would finally do it.
She slipped her hand off his shoulder and went to the window. He suddenly wanted to apologize. He wasn’t a cruel man and the thought of intentionally hurting her flooded him with guilt.
Worse, she knew his biggest shame, the one thing that drove his every thought: he was a failure who let down the people he loved most. What else would explain Andrea falling for another man? Because Spence hadn’t been loving enough, caring enough.
Good enough.
His failures started long before that. After his brother’s death he’d never been able to recapture his parents’ love. No matter what he did or how hard he tried, he continually let them down.
Maddie’s phone vibrated and she pulled it out of her pocket. “I’ll be right back,” she said, walking past him without looking up.
She disappeared into the hallway leaving him alone with his thoughts and despair. It always seemed less painful when she was nearby talking to him, forgiving him.
But she deserved a better man than a damaged doctor with emotionally paralyzing scars of shame.
Being in the hospital wasn’t helping the situation, especially since Dr. Carver would eventually hear he’d been admitted again, delaying his return to the schedule. She had questioned his decision to return to work the other day. What would she think when she heard he’d hallucinated his brother’s accident?
The longer he stayed here the worse it was for his career, his life.
He shifted out of bed, letting his bare feet touch the cool vinyl floor. He seemed steady enough. Taking a few steps, his head grew light, but he forged on.
“Whoa, whoa,” Maddie said, coming into the room and gripping his arm for support. “What are you trying to do?”
“I’m leaving.”
“You sure that’s a good idea? You coded last night.”
“Because of a drug reaction. I suppose you think I should spend another night in the hospital?”
She crossed her arms over her chest, but didn’t answer.
“I get it, now you’re not talking to me,” he said.
“Why should I? I only seem to make you angry with your snappy comments and insults. And ya know, I don’t deserve that. All I’ve done is try to help you stay alive. So you’re welcome and goodbye.” She turned to leave.
Spence gently grabbed her wrist. “Wait.”
She turned to him with fire in her eyes.
“You know what they say about people being the hardest on those closest to them?” he said.
Clenching her jaw, she nodded.
“In the past few days I’ve become closer and more comfortable with you than anyone else in my circle of friends,” he said. “What I’m trying to say is, I’m lashing out because, on some level, I know that you’ll forgive me. But that’s not the only reason.”
The clench of her jaw softened.
“Maddie, the thought of something happening to you because of my problems...” He hesitated before continuing, “Well, it makes me crazy, and I lash out. It’s no excuse for my behavior and I am sorry. To be blunt, I don’t have much experience with this type of relationship.”
Spence released her wrist. He said his piece and figured she’d leave. Instead, she narrowed her eyes as if assessing his confession.
Finally she said, “Nate hired you a bodyguard. His name is Adam and he’ll take us back to the resort.”
That’s it? Spence thought. He’d bared his soul to her, admitted that he felt closer to her than anyone else in his life, and all she could say was a bodyguard would take them back to Echo Mountain?
His heart sank. The damage was done. He’d successfully driven her away and should be happy.
“Do you need help getting dressed? I can get a nurse,” she said.
“No, I’ll manage.”
With a nod, she left the hospital room.
* * *
As the bodyguard drove them back to the resort in his SUV, Spence’s words taunted Maddie.
I’m lashing out because, on some level, I know that you’ll forgive me.
Had that been her problem all along? That her ability to forgive was actually a weakness that made people take advantage of her?
No, she wouldn’t believe that. Her faith had taught her the importance of forgiveness and love, two things that always opened the door to grace.
Sure, she’d suffered painful relationships, but that shouldn’t affect her desire to forgive others. She was strong in her faith, so something else was niggling at her thoughts on the drive back to Echo Mountain.
I don’t have much experience with this type of relationship.
What kind of relationship? She wasn’t sure. It was indefinable in the traditional sense. She knew private things about Spence that he’d worked so hard to keep hidden, like how his brain injury had affected his abilities after the attack, and how he blamed himself for his brother’s death. He wanted to keep these things a secret, yet needed to lean on someone, trust someone.
Maddie had shown up at the right moment in the forest, and had the necessary skills to both save his life and become a confidant.
What would happen when the mystery was solved and the perpetrator was charged and locked up? Would there be a relationship between her and Spence then?
Probably not. Her goal in life was to stay grounded and fight, not run from challenges. She wondered if Spence ran from his Portland position because of his patient’s death. Starting a new life with a clean slate was great in theory, but it seemed to Maddie that you brought all of your emotional baggage with you, so who’s to say you wouldn’t recreate the same situation in a new town?
No, Maddie wasn’t running away like her parents or Waylan. She enjoyed helping people through her work as a paramedic, and volunteering at church and the homeless shelter.
Spence, on the other hand, was a professional who could land a job anywhere, and would probably head back to a big city where he belonged.
You’d better guard your heart before it gets broken, she warned herself.
“Do you want me to drop you off somewhere?” Adam the bodyguard asked, eyeing her through the rearview mirror.
“No, I’ll go back to the resort with Dr. Spencer.” She glanced at Spence, whose eyes were closed. “Unless you’d rather I not come back with you?”
He didn’t answer.
“Spence?”
He glanced at her. “Sorry, what?”
“I’m going to the resort with you, unless you’d rather I not.”
“I—” he stuttered,
“I wouldn’t mind the company, if you can work it into your schedule.”
She shot him a look. Wouldn’t mind the company?
“I guess that sounded less than enthusiastic,” he said. “I feel guilty about taking you away from your life.”
She glanced at Adam. “I’ll go to the resort. Can we swing by my apartment first?”
“Sure.”
She gave him the address and turned back to Spence. He’d closed his eyes again.
She touched his arm. “You okay?”
“Still tired from whatever drug they gave me yesterday.”
“Rest is probably the best thing.”
* * *
They’d stopped by her place, she’d packed a bag and they headed for the resort. Aiden greeted them with a key to a new cabin. Nate suggested they relocate in case the assailant had seen which cabin Spence had come from last night. The general assumption was that the assailant set off the smoke device in order to draw Spence out of hiding.
Maddie and Adam were helping Spence settle into the new cabin when she finally got a callback about shift coverage. She’d made a lot of calls that morning, trying to find a sub.
“Hey, Vivian,” Maddie answered. “Thanks for calling back.”
“Yeah, so I’d love to take your shift, but I’m in the city and won’t get back until eight. I could cover you from around nine tonight through the end of your shift tomorrow, or is that too weird?”
“No, that would be great.” Maddie was pleased that she found the partial shift coverage. “Text me when you’re ready to take over and we’ll swing by your place to pick you up.”
“Sounds good. Is Rocky on tonight?”
Maddie suspected Vivian had a crush on Maddie’s friend. “He is.”
“Cool. Okay, then talk to you later.”
Maddie smiled. Maybe there was hope for Rocky’s love life after all. She joined Spence in the living area where he was leaning back in a thick-cushioned chair, his brows furrowed.
“What’s bothering you?” she said.
“They still haven’t found Dr. Danner.”
“Yeah, that’s weird. I mean, how is he involved in all this?”
Spence shook his head.
“Where’s your bodyguard?” she asked.
“Adam is outside checking the grounds for—” he made quotes with his fingers “—vulnerabilities.”
“He seems professional. Well, I was able to get most of my shift covered.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“What, taking time off?”
“Going out in public. You’re safer here, with me and Adam, or at Bree’s or even your Aunt Margaret’s farm.”
“Whoa, slow down. I’m not the one they’re after, remember?”
“You’re a part of this now, Maddie.”
“I’ll be safe at the firehouse. Chances are we won’t even be called out during the first six hours of the shift. Besides, the cops in town have the sketch of the bearded guy so they’ll be on the lookout.”
“I think you should call Nate.”
“I’m sure he has more important things on his plate.” She could tell Spence was worried. “Okay, I’ll let him know I’ll be on shift from three to nine.”
“Good.” He stood and walked to the kitchen counter. “I’ve decided it’s time for me to stop being so passive.”
“Passive? You’ve been injured multiple times. That’s not being passive.”
“Regardless, I’m done being terrorized. And now they’ve got Dr. Danner?”
“We don’t know that for sure.”
“I need to put a stop to this, protect myself, and you.”
“You’re still recovering. Maybe you should take it easy.”
“I’m done taking it easy.” He pointed to the whiteboard. “I’m going to check people off the list one by one. I’ll contact Theresa—”
“Not necessary. My aunt told me Anthony and Theresa have set a wedding date.”
“Good, how about—?”
“Nate’s on it. He told me at the hospital that Roger Grimes is still under investigation and there’s no word about Lucas’s whereabouts. Hey, I’ve got an idea.”
“Skip work?”
“I’ll be fine. So Roger Grimes is an insurance salesman, right?” she said.
“How do you know that?”
“He stopped by the firehouse to see if any of us needed life insurance. I could call him and act like I’m interested, then get him talking to get a sense of his state of mind.”
“No, it’s too dangerous.”
“We could meet at a coffee shop. I’ll have my brother sitting in the corner keeping watch.”
“I feel like we’d do better by starting at the beginning, with Gwen.”
“You mean visit her in the hospital?” Maddie asked.
“Yes.”
“What’s she going to tell you that she hasn’t told Nate?”
“She trusts me.” He turned to her, his blue eyes reflecting a kind of raw emotion she’d never seen before. “Like I’ve grown to trust you.”
She wasn’t sure what to say.
I don’t have much experience with this type of relationship.
She was about to ask him to define their relationship so she could be on the same page, when he said, “I’m sorry if that was too forward. I haven’t felt this kind of close connection to someone in a very long time.”
She struggled to process her own feelings, wanting desperately to keep things professional. “I’m glad I could be there for you.”
* * *
Maddie started her shift at three and by seven o’clock it looked like it was going to be a quiet evening, as she’d predicted. Sitting in the lounge at the fire station, she was reading the local paper when she came across a story about a burglary at the Winfield home.
She sat up straight. The house had been trashed, and nothing expensive had been taken, mostly food, supplies and flashlights. Stories like these sparked fear in local residents, fear that a homeless person had become desperate enough to commit a crime.
There was a homeless encampment north of town, close to a bus stop that allowed the residents to commute to work either in Echo Mountain or surrounding communities. The homeless residents Maddie had met while volunteering were good people that had fallen on hard times and needed temporary help.
As she studied the newspaper, she had another thought: Lucas could have come home and taken what he needed to survive on his own.
She pulled out her phone to share her observation with Spence. Rocky flopped down next to her.
“Thanks,” he said.
“For what?” She pocketed her phone.
“Not sticking me with Wiggy.”
“You’re welcome. I thought you were out getting dinner.”
“Let’s take a drive and pick up some burgers.”
She considered, wanting to keep her word to Spence about staying at the firehouse if not on a call.
“What? You want Chinese instead?” Rocky said.
“No, burgers are fine.”
They got into the ambulance and headed out. Any emergency calls would be patched through to their vehicle.
“Did you hear Dr. Danner didn’t show up for his shift today?” Rocky said.
“I did hear that.”
“Being that you’re so close to Dr. Perfect you probably know more scoop than any of us.”
“We’re not that close.”
“Uh-huh. So what do you think happened to Danner? Went fishing and got eaten by a salmon? Got lost on a nature walk?”
“Very funny. Actually I’m wondering if he’s behind the attacks on Spence and has fled the state.”
“Spence?
” Rocky shot her a side glance. “I thought you weren’t that close.”
“He wants me to call him Spence. What’s the big deal?”
Rocky shook his head. “You can be so naive sometimes.”
“Ambulance 64, please respond to an injured party at 890 Industrial Drive. Over.”
Maddie grabbed the radio. “Ten-four, base.”
Rocky flipped on the siren and they sped off. A few minutes later they pulled up to an office building under construction. It had only partial outer walls, and looked downright creepy at night.
“I didn’t know these crews worked past five,” she said.
“Probably kids messing around and someone got hurt.”
They grabbed the equipment and headed to the stairs. “Dispatch, did they give a floor number? Over.” Rocky asked.
“Fifth floor. Over.”
“Service elevator?” she asked Rocky.
“I need my exercise.” Rocky winked, heading for the stairs.
Maddie appreciated Rocky’s lighthearted nature at times like this. It was important to balance the stress with humor when heading into a tense situation. They made it to the fifth floor.
“Echo Mountain Emergency!” Rocky called out.
A crack whistled through the air.
NINE
Maddie instinctively grabbed Rocky and pulled him to the floor.
Another crack rang out, and only then did she accept what was happening. She called in on her radio. “Dispatch, someone’s shooting at us. Send help! Over!”
“Officer Carrington is on the way. Over.”
“Fifth floor, tell him we’re on the fifth floor. Over,” Maddie said. “Red’s on the way,” she said to her partner.
When Rocky didn’t answer she glanced at him. A bloodstain spread across his jacket.
“No, no, no,” she muttered, grabbing gauze out of her bag.
“My partner’s been hit,” she said into her radio.
Rocky groaned and opened his eyes. “What’s happening?”
“Someone’s shooting at us.”
“Get out of here. Go!” he ordered.
Another shot pierced the night air. Heart pounding, she knew there was no way she could leave her friend.
She also knew she might die tonight.