by Chant, Zoe
My lab – my home – the van following me – Callan – and I think I had the weirdest dream – but oh shit, was I snuggling Callan’s arm?!
She continued to stare into Callan’s face, her mouth dropping open slightly as she felt her face going red.
Why, why, why do I have to blush so easily?!
She’d felt herself doing it about five times over the course of yesterday, but it was something she simply didn’t have any control over. Looking at Callan now, Ella decided that she’d better resign herself to blushing a lot, at least until whatever trouble she was currently embroiled in was sorted out and she could go back to her normal life, and Callan could, presumably, go back to his.
How the hell can he be so handsome? Ella thought. He seemed like he should have been a dream – but no, it seemed that Callan’s ridiculous good looks, bulging biceps, broad shoulders, and muscular thighs hadn’t stopped existing when she woke up.
“Sorry,” Callan said, as Ella gawped at him like a landed fish. “But you just seemed so… asleep. I didn’t want to move and wake you.”
“I-it’s fine,” Ella managed to stutter out. “I just didn’t mean to – I mean, I hope I didn’t –” She stopped, taking a deep breath and trying to figure out what she wanted to say. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to… to snuggle up to you like that.”
“It’s fine,” Callan said, shaking his head. “No need to be embarrassed. In fact, I –”
“Sorry, I sometimes do dumb things when I’m asleep,” Ella hurried on, her embarrassment pushing her words out at a mile a minute. “Like one time I woke up and I was feeding my aunt’s cat – and that cat didn’t even like me! It was weird. And I have weird dreams too, sometimes.” She blinked at him, the strange dream she’d had last night suddenly drifting through her head again.
Something about… dragons? Or griffins? A giant wombat?
Ella resisted the urge to shake her head. Callan’s warm, deep voice drifted through her mind, but she couldn’t quite pin down any of the words he was saying. The only thing she could remember was how safe and comforted it had made her feel, the glow she’d felt in her chest as she’d drifted off to sleep.
“Anyway, it looks like the sun’s been up for a while,” she barreled on, trying to change the subject. The less time spent dwelling on her using Callan’s arm as a teddy bear, the better. “You should have woken me up. We need to get going.”
She knew she sounded brusque, but she was too embarrassed to do anything else. Yes, she was more attracted to Callan than she’d ever been attracted to anyone else in her entire life, but he didn’t need to know that! He was here in a professional capacity. And he probably got women throwing themselves at him everywhere he went. There was absolutely no way someone like him didn’t have at least one girlfriend. Or boyfriend. Or both.
Hell, I’d be happy to share too if it meant I – Ella started to think, before a sudden, near-overwhelming wave of possessiveness welled up inside her. No, I would not be happy to share at all!
Even knowing her own personality and how little she played well with others, Ella was startled by the strength of her own feeling.
It’s not like I even get a say, she thought, trying to busy herself by standing and brushing the dirt and dried leaves from her clothes. Since he’s not mine, and he never will be.
“You’re right,” Callan said after a moment, as he too stood up. “I figured you needed the sleep, though. It’s not too late – just after seven thirty. So we can still get a full day in – though to be honest, I don’t reckon it’ll take us quite that long to get where we’re going.”
“You don’t?” Ella asked, as she folded up the blanket she’d slept under, grateful Callan didn’t seem too fazed or upset by her making grabbyhands at him in her sleep. If he was uncomfortable about it, he was doing a great job of covering it up with professionalism.
Which is exactly what I should be doing, Ella thought. You can write his name in your diary with little lovehearts around it once we get back home, self.
“No. It should be perhaps…” Callan cocked his head, his eyes closing briefly. “Two hours’ walk northwest of here, if we make good time.”
Ella stared at him. “How do you do that?” she asked, honestly baffled by how he could possibly have figured that out. He’d only glanced at the map co-ordinates she’d shown him yesterday, too. Callan was clearly a highly trained professional, but even that had to have its limits!
“It’s… instinct,” Callan said, his voice a little halting. “Well, and training. Though my friend Hector has a farm around here – or his family does. I mentioned him to you last night – do you remember?”
“I – no, not really,” Ella said, mildly confused by the hesitant note of hope she heard in Callan’s voice. The name Hector did ring a slight bell, but she couldn’t remember anything Callan might have said about him. “Should I remember him? Was it important?”
Callan seemed about to say something – but then, he simply shook his head. “Not right now. For the moment, let’s just focus on finding out what the big mystery is.”
They packed up their tiny campsite together, making sure they left everything exactly as they’d found it. Ella, being a passionate hiker, was equally passionate about the landscapes she hiked through, and she was always careful to hunt down and bring back every skerrick of rubbish she might have created during her journey.
Soon, everything was packed away inside Callan’s panniers again, and the panniers themselves hoisted over his shoulders, as if they were feather-light. Ella couldn’t help but shiver slightly at the sight, but at the same time, she felt confused by her response to Callan.
Getting close to people wasn’t something she was good at. Even with people she counted as her friends – like Priyanka and the rest of her officemates – she never really spoke much about personal things. Although she was happy to listen and offer sympathy as Priyanka vented her woes with her latest boyfriend, or Dave with his latest boyfriend, she found it difficult to share similar things with them.
It wasn’t only because she hadn’t really had a boyfriend since she’d been in high school. She just… couldn’t. The idea of opening up and talking about her past – her delinquent adventures when she’d been a kid, how she felt about her father, or even her hopes for the future – just thinking about telling someone else about those things petrified her, and made her clam up tight.
And yet, I talked about them last night with Callan, Ella thought as they set off together. And I wasn’t scared at all.
She hadn’t really thought about it, in fact – it’d all seemed to flow out of her naturally.
Callan was really easy to talk to, she supposed. He had an air of quiet strength – and the way he’d gazed at her with his deep brown eyes had made her feel like he was listening to her without judgment, simply accepting everything she said.
But there seemed to be more to it than that. Ella wasn’t sure what it was, and she wasn’t sure she could put it into words, either.
Maybe it’s just sleep deprivation, she thought, glancing at him, appreciating the way his muscles moved as he pushed aside a branch to allow her to pass. That, and hormones.
“Thanks for listening to me last night,” she blurted, as they made their way through the scrub. “I didn’t mean to unload like that – you didn’t need to hear my life story. You only asked if I had any info on my father. Which I don’t, obviously.”
Callan glanced at her, expression quizzical. “You don’t need to apologize for anything, Ella,” he said. “I don’t mind. At all.”
Somehow, she knew he meant it. Part of her fear of talking about herself with others was that she was afraid of burdening them somehow – of making herself a problem that they’d have to deal with. But at Callan’s words, she felt nothing but a warm wave of relief washing over her.
“Nothing you tell me could ever be a burden,” Callan said, and his words were close enough to Ella’s own thoughts that she looked up at him, startled, wonder
ing if he’d somehow read her mind.
Or maybe he’s just trying to do his job, and he needs info from you since your father’s a criminal.
Ella couldn’t quite bring herself to believe it, though. She tried to – the only sure way to make sure no one could ever hurt her was not to make a connection with them in the first place – but the warmth in Callan’s eyes and voice made it hard to doubt his sincerity.
She took a deep breath.
Maybe when all this is over, we really could go get a meal together, Ella thought, watching him from beneath her eyelashes. She didn’t know if it had just been meaningless flirting – Callan was certainly hot enough that he could get away with throwing that kind of thing out there – and maybe she was being an idiot to fall for it.
But she couldn’t resist the temptation to try, at least.
Well. I mean as long as I don’t actually have to share him, she thought, trying and failing to suppress a smile.
* * *
“We should be getting close now,” Callan said, his voice quiet.
Ella blinked, looking up at him. They had spent the last hour and a half either in companionable silence, or chatting quietly to each other.
Ella didn’t think she’d ever felt so comfortable in someone’s presence before. Her attraction to Callan was still there, of course, sizzling just below the surface of her skin and tightening in her belly every time she looked at him, but somehow, it didn’t make her feel strange or awkward around him. He was so easy to talk to and so softly spoken despite his massive size that she felt nothing but… safe.
“We made good time then,” Ella said, looking around.
Callan nodded. “Yeah. You weren’t joking about being a good hiker, that’s for sure.”
Ella smiled, shooting him a glance. His gaze was appreciative, and for a moment, she let herself believe it wasn’t just because of her hiking skills.
“So, where to now?”
“Should be somewhere close by,” Callan said, glancing around. “Be careful, though – there’s a sudden drop not far from here. In fact, it should be – right around – here.”
He walked a few meters to their left, disappearing for a moment in the thick foliage. Ella followed him, pushing aside the fragrant leaves of the eucalyptus trees, lifting her feet over the low scrub that covered the ground, and –
Oh. Wow.
Ella had been on many a hiking trip, but she’d never seen anything quite so magnificent as the sight laid out before her now.
Callan hadn’t been joking when he’d talked about the sudden drop. Ella looked down, the land falling away only a few inches from her toes. She was standing almost on the very precipice of a long, thin gorge, wending its way in twists and turns through the landscape. In the distance, she could see the rising mist of a waterfall, the morning sun glistening on the thin, ribbon-like river that fed it.
The scent of eucalyptus and wild flowers was heavy in the still air, and Ella took a deep, long breath, closing her eyes.
This is what peace must feel like.
It was a strange thought to have, she supposed, considering everything that had happened recently, and the reason she’d come out here in the first place. But still, in that moment, all Ella could feel was peaceful.
Beside her, she could sense Callan’s huge, warm presence. But despite the fact she’d always only wanted to hike solo, she wasn’t disturbed by it at all. In fact, it seemed to only add to the odd feeling of contentment that swirled around her heart, almost like a soft, golden glow.
Part of her – a big part of her – wished that they could just stay here forever, lost in the wilderness together. Or at least that they could stay for a few days – a few hours, even. But the rest of her knew that it simply wasn’t possible. Not when there were still so many questions that needed answers.
“I suppose we shouldn’t hang around for too long,” she said reluctantly, after a couple of moments.
Callan nodded, and Ella could see the regret in his eyes, too. The landscape was breathtakingly beautiful, but they couldn’t stop to admire it now. Casting one last, longing gaze over the gorge, Ella turned away.
“I know you said you didn’t think the person on the phone was your father,” Callan said, as they made their way carefully over the terrain, “but do you have any idea who it might have been?”
Ella shook her head. “Believe me, I spent all of yesterday racking my brains trying to figure that out. Obviously, it’s someone who knows him – and who knows he has a kid. So it’s someone who’s known him for a long time, unless my father actually told someone about me later.”
“That all sounds reasonable,” Callan said, as he pushed aside a large branch with ease to allow her to pass by it.
“A colleague, then?” Ella asked.
“It’s possible, and it was my first thought too,” Callan said. “But if it’s a colleague of his from Hargreaves, then I’m suspicious about their motive.”
Ella was silent as she chewed this over. “You think it might be a trap?”
“Without knowing who made the call, it’s a possibility. We can’t discount it.”
“If they wanted to get me alone, there’s easier ways,” Ella said, ducking under a low-hanging tree branch. “And if Hargreaves are the ones who made the call, if there’s something at these co-ordinates, then they already know where – and, presumably, what – it is. So why not just come out here themselves?”
“Good point,” Callan said. “Seems a hell of a lot easier than following you around in a van. Though I have to ask, Ella – what is it exactly that you’re expecting to find? We’re in the middle of nowhere out here. What connection would your father even have to this place?”
“I don’t know,” Ella admitted. “And to be honest, if my lab and home hadn’t been smashed up, I probably would have laughed in the face of whoever called me.”
“Between what happened to your home and your lab and that van yesterday, someone obviously has an agenda,” Callan said. “But as to what it is… you’ve got me stumped.”
Ella glanced at him. “Do you think we’ll find any answers out here?”
“I don’t know, Ella, but I understand why you want to find out.” Callan took a deep breath. “I just hope… well. I just hope I’m not leading you into danger by coming out here with you.”
Ella laughed. “If anything, I’m leading you. I didn’t really give you a choice.”
“I suppose not,” Callan said, joining in with his own soft laugh.
“Your only other choice would have been picking me up and carrying me back,” Ella said, the words out of her mouth before she’d really had a chance to think them through – and then the image of Callan lifting her up in his massive arms and pulling her against his burly chest popped into her head, and she suddenly found herself a little short of breath.
I must be going insane, she thought, blinking. Why on earth didn’t I just let him do that?!
She was so caught up in the extremely interesting picture her imagination was painting for her that she didn’t notice the small, craggy rock beneath her foot until it was too late.
“Shit!”
Ella’s ankle turned over and she stumbled, coming down hard on her knee and hip.
“Ella!”
Callan was by her side in a moment, his large hand on her shoulder, deep brown eyes looking into hers.
Oh. Wow.
Ella blinked, left momentarily speechless.
“I – I’m okay,” she managed to get out after a second or so, getting slowly to her feet. Cautiously, she tested her ankle, but it seemed fine – maybe she’d have a bruise tomorrow, but it wasn’t sprained. “I should just watch where I’m going.”
Instead of having inappropriate fantasies, she added silently.
“The terrain around here gets pretty rough,” Callan said. “We should both definitely be careful.”
Ella nodded. Callan’s hand was still on her shoulder, large and warm, and it was leaving a tinglin
g sensation on her skin, even through her t-shirt.
She swallowed.
They started off again, and this time Ella made sure to be far more cautious. She had to concentrate on every step as they made their way down the small ridge, pebbles and stones coming loose and bouncing their way down the steep surface ahead of them.
Ella had to get down low to keep her balance, her feet slipping – but then, Callan’s hand was on her arm again, steadying her, not allowing her to fall.
It was difficult not to simply close her eyes and lean into his touch. Ella had no doubt at all that if she so much as slipped, Callan would be there to catch her.
That might be true, but closing your eyes would probably be a mistake, she told herself, forcing her concentration back to the last of the steep ridge beneath her feet. The landscape might be beautiful out here, but it could also be brutally unforgiving.
“Ella. Look.”
Ella blinked, raising her head as she finally came to the bottom of the ridge and stood fully upright once more.
Surprise made her catch her breath. They had come to a stop on a long, thin ledge on the side of the gorge, a thick forest of eucalyptus trees on one side, and the thin wend of the river on the other, the water mirror-like in its crystal clarity. The ledge ended a hundred feet or so from where they stood, the river becoming a waterfall, shafts of sunlight playing through the mist that rose from below.
But while all of it was stunningly beautiful, Ella was pretty sure that what Callan was telling her to look at was the small, battered shed that was nestled on the very edge of the forest.
It was a tiny, tumble-down place – Ella had seen dozens like it on her various hikes. The homes and campsites of prospectors during the Gold Rush, or men who’d come here hoping to make a home, thinking that the wilderness could be tamed, only to discover otherwise. The land was littered with them: some were tourist landmarks, while others, like this one, were so remote that Ella doubted many people had ever laid eyes on them.
Except that someone deliberately led us here, Ella thought as she stared at the shack.