‘But she didn’t want a husband. Did she even want you?’
‘No. She didn’t want me. Well, not like that, anyway. But she needed me. She wanted what that piece of paper represented. Permanency. The annulment of our marriage never changed that. I will always be there for her. Always. And she knows that.’
‘Does she know about the annulment?
‘Of course.’
‘But at the hospital…she said…she told them she was your wife.’
‘She was scared she was going to lose me.’
Eva threw her cup of coffee against the wall. The cup smashed and crumpled to the ground and the coffee rained down the wall leaving a milky, brown stain behind.
‘I was fucking scared. I FUCKING thought I was going to lose you. But I couldn’t see you. She made damn sure of that.’
‘Eva, I’ve spoken to her about that. And she feels bad. In fact, it was Mia who gave me a telling off for leaving the hospital without telling you. So don’t judge her for something that happened ten years ago.’
‘I’m not. I’m judging her for how big a bitch she’s been to me for the past year.’
Julian shook his head and tossed Eva a cheeky grin.
‘What?’ Eva snapped, her hands on her hips and an I’m-done-with-games look on her face.
‘You’re shit hot when you’re mad, do you know that?’
‘Don’t,’ Eva warned.
‘Don’t what?’
‘Don’t look at me like that.’
‘Like what?’ Julian’s salacious smirk was melting her.
‘Like you want to fuck me.’
‘How can I look at you any other way? I always want to fuck you.’ Julian stood up and took a step forward.
‘No. Stop. We’re not doing this. Not here. You can wipe that look off your face, Julian. We’re talking. That’s all.’
Julian threw his hands to each side and tilted his head towards his shoulder. ‘What I had in mind was a lot more fun than conversation but…’
‘But nothing. Look, I’m never going to like Mia. She’s a witch. I know you don’t see it, but your head is so far up your ass when it comes to her that you think her shit smells like roses. And it’s fair enough. You’ve been through a lot together. But she’s just so mean to me –’
‘She’s intimidated by you. And she’s overcompensating. I’ll ask her to be nicer.’
‘Julian sit down, please?’ Eva asked.
Julian sucked his lips between his teeth and inhaled sharply as he lowered himself back into the chair. He didn’t need to sit, but he hated to see Eva looked so worried.
‘I don’t want Mia to be nicer,’ Eva admitted impressively certain. ‘I’ve accepted that we’re never going to be friends. I actually don’t care. I think I hate her as much as she hates me. But there’s a child messed up in all this. Daniel seems like a great kid. At least some good can come out of all this.’
‘Eva –’
‘Your son might be a match. C’mon, Julian. You must have at least thought about it?’
Julian stood again and was right in front of her in an instant, the needle in his arm pinched as it objected to the distance between him and the machine.
‘What? Surely you’ve thought of that, Julian? Jesus, was it not the first thing the hospital suggested.’
‘He’s not getting tested,’ Julian said, venom in his eyes.
‘What? Why?’
‘Don’t be coy, Eva, it doesn’t suit you. You heard me. My decision is made.’
‘Julian, that’s stupid. He needs to be tested. He could save your life.’
Julian pounded his fist against the table so hard that his coffee cup fell off and onto the floor. Eva jumped. The veins on the side of his neck bubbled under his skin and his chest flared.
‘Please. Why won’t you just consider it? I know you want to protect him but…’ Eva continued, taking a step back.
‘Eva, stop it,’ Julian growled.
Chapter 28
Eva had never seen Julian so angry. He was seething; every inch of him told her that he wanted to punch something or someone. She knew if she pushed much further, he’d lose his temper completely. But she also knew that no matter how angry he was, or how far she pushed his buttons, he would never hurt her. She had to push. If there was any chance she could make him see sense, she had to push.
‘You put Daniel first once before, why won’t you do it now?’
‘EVA, DAMMIT. Just stop!’ The veins in Julian’s neck pulsed faster.
‘It’s not just me or Mia who will lose you. Daniel will lose you, too. Why are you being so selfish?’
Julian’s hand ran through his hair. His grip was so tight, his knuckles whitened. Maybe she was getting through to him.
‘Will you talk to Mia? Will you ask to have him tested? He’s your son, for God’s sake.’
Julian threw his arms in front of him and flipped the chair over. The loud bang of the metal legs clanking against the tiled floor sent Eva’s heart flying into the back of her throat.
‘He’s not my FUCKING son.’ Julian dropped to his knees.
Eva held her breath. ‘What?’ What had she done? Maybe she’d finally pushed him too far. Broken him completely.
‘He’s not biologically mine.’
Eva’s hands flew to cover her mouth. ‘But I thought…’
‘I know what you thought. It’s what anyone would think. But Mia and I have never been together like that. Ever.’
‘You’ve never slept with her? But the ball. You always picked your one girl for the year. Mia was the first? Shelly told me.’
‘Shelly was right. Mia was the example. But it was just a setup for the game. I’ve never touched her. She’s like my sister, for fuck’s sake.’
Eva dropped to her knees beside him and wrapped her arms around him. Taking care not to hurt him or pull his IV line she cradled him close.
More twists. Eva’s head was spinning. But this time it was spinning in a good way. Julian and Mia were never together. They really were the true definition of just friends. Thank God!
‘I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed. It’s just I had so many different people telling me different things all the time, and I never really knew the truth. And you didn’t make it any easier, Julian.’
‘I always tell you the truth.’
‘I know. I know. So all the girls. You fucking your way around the office. None of it was true. It was all just part of the game.’
‘Eva. I like sex. All of that was true.’
‘Oh.’ Eva couldn’t hide her disappointment.
‘I still like sex. A lot. The only thing that’s changed is the only woman I like sex with now is you.’
Eva laughed. Could she laugh about that now? It certainly felt like she could. All that shit seemed like a lifetime ago. A lifetime when she didn’t know Julian. Or love him. A lifetime when she wasn’t half the person she was now.
Eva stroked Julian’s cheek. ‘You told me once that I surprise the hell out of you, Julian.’
Julian smiled and Eva knew he remembered.
‘Well, right back at you, baby. You never stop blowing me away.’
Eva and Julian sat on the floor for what felt like forever. Their limbs entwined together. Julian Harte had so many layers and Eva believed that she had just peeled off the last one. He’d protected Mia and her son, loved the kid as if he was his own, and never once sought any credit for it. He just did it because it was the right thing to do. Eva loved him before, but she loved him even more now. Julian Harte was really just a big softy. Who knew.
***
Eva stood up, kissed Julian on the cheek, and then left the room. Fuck. He did not see that coming. She was up to something; he knew it. But he had no idea what her next move was; he should have been shocked or even upset that she’d walked out, but instead, he sat stroking his chin between his fingers and thumb and smiled. Evangeline Andrews had become the Queen of Games. And she would be okay. With or without him. God
, how he wanted it to be with him. He wanted to share his life with her. Every bit. If someone had told him a year ago that he was dying, it would have been rather inconvenient. He’d have had acquisitions to tidy up and some general administrative stuff to double check, but that was all his life boiled down to. He was just a man in a suit, albeit an expensive one with some fine hand stitching. Julian Harte never needed anyone. But somehow, this girl had snuck into his heart, made herself comfortable, and changed him to the point where he didn’t even recognise himself for the better. And the thoughts of leaving her behind was killing him more than his failing kidneys.
Chapter 29
Julian was asleep when Eva came back into the area sectioned off by a hideous purple and orange floral curtain. She watched him for a long time. Every line of his beautiful face, his dark hair that matched his sallow skin so perfectly. His broad shoulders spanned the back of the chair and he looked deliciously casual in a pair of faded navy jeans and a white, rugby style jersey. She was almost afraid to blink. Every blink cost her a millisecond of watching him; of committing every bit of him to memory in case she ever forgot. Eva couldn’t imagine the world without Julian Harte in it. She shook her head and exhaled deeply. She couldn’t go there. She couldn’t think about it. Vomit swirled in her stomach like some little creature was trying to blend up a smoothie with her insides. Her head was reeling and she couldn’t remember the last time she ate. It didn’t matter anyway, the last thing she felt was hungry. She felt horribly ill. But she couldn’t feel sorry for herself, not compared to what Julian was going through. Every single thing he was suffering now was because of her. Because he loved her and saved her.
She’d asked one of the junior doctors for a pen and paper which she clenched tightly in her fist. She took a seat in the chair waiting opposite Julian and began writing, her fingers couldn’t move as fast as the words tumbling out of her mind. She closed her eyes.
Eva was vaguely aware of a nurse or doctor coming in every so often to check on Julian, but she was too sleepy to open her eyes wide enough to pay full attention. She woke fully when Julian’s hand shook her shoulder.
‘C’mon, sleepyhead. Let’s get going.’
Eva rubbed her eyes and sat up straight. There were no windows where they were so she couldn’t tell if it was still night or if the day had snuck in while she was sleeping. ‘Are you finished? Did they say you could go?’
Eva didn’t really know why that was the first question that came into her head. Maybe because she worried Julian had become impatient and just decided to discharge himself again.
‘Yes, Eva. I’ve been a good boy. I finished my run through the spin cycle,’ Julian mocked and pointed back at the dialysis machine behind him.
‘Okay, good. When do you have to come back?’
‘…few days,’ Julian said pulling an unimpressed face as he pulled on his coat. ‘What’s that?’ he asked, his eyes dropping to the page in Eva’s hand.
Eva looked down at the paper. She’d fallen asleep before she had a chance to finish writing. ‘Nothing…I’ll show you later.’ She pulled her coat off the back of the chair and stuffed the paper into the pocket. ‘C’mon. Let’s get some decent coffee.’
‘Eva, I saw my name on the paper. What were you writing?’ Julian said, raising an eyebrow inquisitively.
‘I told you I’d show you later…’
‘Eva. Now. Please.’
Eva put her hand in her pocket but pulled it back out empty, shaking her head. ‘It’s a surprise.’
Julian’s eyes narrowed. ‘I don’t like surprises.’
‘Okay.’ Eva shrugged.
‘Excuse me?’
‘Julian, it’s your kidneys that have the problems, not your ears. You heard me. It’s a surprise. And I’m not showing you.’
Julian’s face reddened, but Eva couldn’t help but notice that his lips pulled up at the sides. He was smiling. Why was he smiling? She’d expected an argument. Was Julian Harte mellowing? If she hadn’t seen it with her own eyes, she wouldn’t have believed it.
Damn, it was cold. Eva glanced at her watch. It was coming up on seven am but it was still pitch dark outside. Julian’s phone was accosting his pocket with vibrations of emails and texts filtering through. Eva was standing close enough to Julian to feel it, too.
‘Wow, someone is really trying to get a hold of you,’ Eva said.
Julian shook his head. ‘It’s just work stuff, Eva. My day usually starts around now. No one knows I’m out of the office. All my calls and emails are automatically redirecting to my phone.’
‘What? No one knows you’re ill? Julian, you can’t keep working now. That’s crazy. You need some time to rest.’
Julian stopped walking and turned to face Eva. ‘No one knows, Evangeline. And I am keeping it that way. Do you understand?’
Eva gulped down a lump of air far too large for her throat and tried to hide her discomfort. When it came to anything work related, Julian made it very clear that he was the boss. Nothing was ever open for discussion, and Eva didn’t intend or want to overstep that mark. But it still hurt to be put in her box with the tone of his voice.
‘Mia text.’
‘Oh,’ Eva said almost choking on another oversized lump of air.
‘She said thank you for looking after Daniel?’ Julian’s head turned to one side, and Eva knew that was his way of enquiring why in the hell Eva had been spending time with his son.
‘Mia asked me to bring him to the hospital, but he was sleeping and…’
‘You don’t have to explain.’
‘I don’t?’ Eva’s face scrunched.
‘Thanks for watching him. But Mia’s home now. Anthony brought Daniel to the airport.’
‘Oh.’
‘I’ve asked Mia to join us for lunch this afternoon.’
Eva’s face fell. She thought of the note in her pocket. She’d hoped to have Julian all to herself all day.
‘I want to get all the paperwork for the Da Luca properties sorted out as soon as possible. This afternoon, hopefully.’
Eva nodded. She wasn’t as overwhelmed as she’d expected to be about the whole thing. ‘Okay, sure.’
They reached the city centre in record time; they’d been walking faster than usual to keep warm. The conversation was sporadic but the silences were just as comfortable as the chitchat about both their childhoods. They talked openly about their demons and happy memories. It was therapeutic and Eva never dreamed she’d be recanting childhood memories and laughing and smiling at the same time.
Julian veered away from Eva and bent down slowly, but the man Julian approached barely looked up. Julian crouched a little lower until he was on his hunkers, his shoulders level with the shoulders of the man sitting in the doorway. Eva watched as Julian slipped some money out of his inside jacket pocket and handed the notes into the man’s gloved hand. She didn’t notice the amount. She was too distracted by the dirt and holes in the man’s gloves; it was obvious that age and not design had them fingerless on every second finger.
‘There’s a hostel just down there,’ Julian pointed. ‘It’s pretty damn cold out here and you look like you’ve been here an hour or two too long. Spend it wisely, my friend.’
Julian shook the man’s hand and stood up.
‘Aren’t you worried that he’ll spend it on drinking?’ Eva whispered as they turned to walk away.
Julian sighed. ‘Not my call. It’s his money now.’
‘He’ll freeze if he spends any longer out here, though.’
Doubling back, Julian slid his arms out of his grey, wool crombie and placed it on the man’s knees.
‘What’s this?’ the man said, instantly pulling the coat up as far as his neck.
Eva followed Julian’s glance to the money the man clenched in his first.
‘It’s just in case something sensible tastes a lot like a bottle of whiskey,’ Julian said. ‘The drink will warm your blood and this will warm your bones.’
‘You�
��re a good lad,’ the man said as Julian and Eva walked away, hand in hand.
‘I’m learning,’ Julian whispered squeezing Eva’s hand and shooting her a smile.
Eva’s heart pinched. Julian was a good man. The best. She wished that she’d always trusted that and had never let the other people or office rumours shape her opinion of him. She was never going to make that mistake again.
Chapter 30
Anne opened the door and wrapped her arms around Julian’s neck. ‘Sweet Jesus, ya little bollocks,’ she said pulling back and eyeing Julian up and down. ‘You had the heart crossways in me. I didn’t have a clue where you were. My head was thinking all sorts.’
Julian apologised like a scolded schoolboy, and Eva was smiling as they stepped inside and savoured the warmth of Julian’s house.
‘You two must be famished. Why don’t you get a couple of hours sleep? I’ll fix some breakfast and call you later,’ Anne said, taking Eva’s coat and eyeing Julian up disapprovingly for not wearing one.
‘Thank you, Anne,’ Julian said turning towards Eva. ‘You tired?’
Eva nodded. ‘Very.’
Julian shot Eva a look that said you-better-not-be-too-tired, and Eva could feel her face redden standing beside Anne.
Julian led the way upstairs and Eva followed. His house was just as impressive as she remembered, but somehow, it felt warmer now, more inviting, and less intimidating. It felt like him. Julian stopped outside a closed door.
‘This is my room,’ Julian said reaching behind his back for the door handle.
‘Oh,’ Eva said, suddenly feeling uninvited.
‘You can take your pick from the guest rooms.’ Julian tilted his head to one side and Eva looked around at a landing laden with doors. ‘I’ve taken the liberty of having my staff pick you up a few things. Toiletries and stuff. Anthony will take you to the hotel later and you can collect the rest of your things.’
Eva sighed. This wasn’t what she had pictured when Julian asked her to stay with him. She thought they’d be sharing a bedroom at the very least. ‘Okay, thank you,’ she said, quashing any sign of emotion.
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