by Jody Day
“Hi, Sweetheart, we’ve missed you at the diner. Best little waitress ever,” Mandy said.
“I miss you pouring my coffee every morning. Be glad when you get back,” Greg said.
Macy and Todd merely blushed and offered a wave.
Brenna hugged all four of them. “I’m so glad you came,” she said. “This is so much fun.”
Mom and Toppy came in, their arms equally loaded down with gifts. They placed them under the tree. Toppy picked Brenna up and twirled her around.
We’d opted not to bring food, since Dr. Lewis had Brenna on certain foods while he adjusted her chemo. No one seemed to miss it as we watched Brenna enjoy herself.
David and Melissa walked in. Melissa went straight for the babies.”Finally. Oh, Bailey, can I hold them, or,” she laughed, “one of them?”
“Of course, but first let me hug you. I’ve missed you so much!” I laid Helen on the bed and wrapped her up in a bear hug.
“I was miserable when I finally got home, but couldn’t come to you because of that stupid head cold,” she whispered. “I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you. I know things have been just awful.”
“Yes,” I said. “But not today. We’ll get caught up later.”
Scott put Paul on the bed next to Helen, and Melissa had a baby talk fest over each one.
I noticed a sparkling diamond ring on her right hand. I grabbed her hand and held it up. “Melissa! He finally asked,” I squealed.
She smiled, her eyes shining like the lights on the tree.
David grinned. “Dr. Lewis has allowed me to give some good news, Brenna, if you don’t mind,” he said. He blushed as he changed the subject.
She turned toward David with a little shiver, excitement in her eyes.
“You cold, sweetie?” I asked.
“Just a little,” she said, smiling.
“Well, let me give you my gift first, then we’ll hear the good news.” I retrieved the package I’d wrapped for her. I held it while she tore into it.
“A shawl! Did you make this, Bailey?” She wrapped herself up in the crocheted shawl in red, green, and gold. “I’ll be warm enough in this. Now what is the news, Dr. Harkin?”
“Dr. Lewis said you can go home a week from today. He’s very encouraged by your response to the adjusted treatment.” He grinned as big as Texas.
“Yay!” erupted in the room.
“Keep it down, folks, there are other sick people on this floor,” Mom said.
“Yay,” everyone whispered, and pretended to clap their hands.
“Perfect. New year, new start.” Toppy grinned from ear to ear.
Pastor Jack waltzed in with Phoebe on his arm. He took his cowboy hat off and placed it on Brenna’s head. “Hey, little lady, Merry Christmas.”
Phoebe fiddled with a necklace, clearly showing a diamond ring on her finger I hadn’t seen before. Well, of all the things that were or ever shall be. Gran’s old saying made me laugh, but in a good way. The next year would be full of weddings.
“You look absolutely wonderful, you pretty thing,” Phoebe said, and put her arm around Brenna.
Just about the moment I wondered about Tracy and Liz, they walked in with Javier.
Brenna rushed them. “Hey! I’ve missed you guys!” She hugged them, then got quiet as Javier stepped forward. “You’re the man who helped the police find Bailey, aren’t you.”
He just nodded with a sweet smile.
She reached out her hand for a shake, but he gave her a hug.
“Everyone’s here. Let’s open presents,” Scott said. “Brenna, you call out the names.”
She sat on the floor by the tree and handed out one present after another.
I sat on the bed with my babies and watched all my loved ones having such a special time.
“I haven’t had a chance to get anybody anything,” Brenna said.
“You’re getting well is our favorite present,” I said. “All of us.”
Phoebe sidled over to me. “You remember when I thought that cross of yours had some kind of magic that helped you? Jack explained it all to me. I’m really changed, Bailey. I hope we can be true friends, now.”
I just hugged her. Words failed me at every turn.
Javier and Tracy held hands.
Scott walked over to Javier and stood next to him, but crossed his arms in a challenging sort of way. It tickled the stuffing out of me, because Javier had the arms of a body builder. He could take Scott in a second.
“Uh, hi, Mr. West,” Javier said.
“Why is it I can’t get you to call me Scott?”
Javier had a fit of coughing, and Tracy’s face was as red as the Christmas tree.
Liz stood beside them, and led Tracy away from the two men.
When Tracy was safely out of ear shot, Javier said, “Because, Mr. West, you’re the closest thing Tracy has to a father, and I want to ask you if I can marry her. Her mom already approves. What do you say?”
Scott raised himself to his full height, donned a grim expression, and then started laughing. He put both hands on Javier’s shoulders. “You go for it, but if you’re not good to her, you’ll have to answer to me.”
Javier’s smiled, then tried to look serious. “Yes, sir.”
Close quarters, but we managed. Wrapping paper flying, oohs and ahhs and ‘thank yous’ filled the air.
Scott took his little box out of his pocket and handed it to Brenna.
She opened it gingerly, as if it were the greatest possession she’d ever had. She pulled a gold cross necklace from the box. “Just like Bailey’s,” she squealed. She hopped up from the floor and practically jumped Scott for a hug. Then she walked over to me.
I helped her put it on.
“Picture, somebody take a picture!” she yelled, taking my hand and leading me to the Christmas tree. She threw her arms around my waist, and Scott snapped the scene with his phone.
“Sisters,” I said, hugging her tight.
“Beloved sisters, Bailey.”
“Look!” Tracy exclaimed. “Out the window.”
Snow fell in thick cotton balls.
Scott shook his head.
“I don’t believe it.” I positioned the babies toward the window. They probably couldn’t see, but it was their first snow!
#
“Let’s drop all this stuff off at the house. Everyone’s coming by later for food, but I have something I want to show you,” Scott said, as we pulled up to our home. The babies had ridden home with Toppy and Mom.
“Sounds like a surprise,” I said. I opened the car door to get out.
“Nope, I’ll do it. You sit tight.” Scott began to unload the car of presents and decorations. The twins had been given enough outfits to last till they were three years old, at least.
In a few minutes, we were back on the road. Instead of the left turn to the diner, Scott took a right. After about three miles he turned into a clearing.
“Did you do that?” In the midst of snow covered pines, a lone Christmas tree completely covered with lights glowed in the white quiet.
“I did.” He got out, came around and let me out. We walked to the tree.
“But how?”
He pulled back a burlap skirt around the tree to reveal a big battery. “I saw it all alone out here, and thought you’d like to see it decorated. The snow is all your doing. You must pray for snow day and night.”
“Not every day. It’s brilliant, and beautiful.” I touched the pine cones he’d stuffed on many branches.
“Dad bought this property years ago. It’s ours now. I’ll build us a house, right here.”
“Wow.” I couldn’t produce any more words. The joy and quiet hush in the woods descended on me with reverence and gratitude.
“Merry Christmas, my Beloved,” he said, and held me tight.
That poor lonely tree reminded me of my poor, fractured self when I’d first driven down Exit 477. Christ’s light made me beautiful again. Awe and wonder surrounded me as
I realized anew that this was how the Father saw us. Beautiful.
“And Happy Anniversary,” I whispered.
His tender Christmas kisses sparked joy in my heart. I hadn’t felt such love or desire in many weeks. He’d been so patient. All the counseling and prayer had helped. The healing was an on-going process, but it was time to take back my joy. The scripture from the Psalms that Pastor Jack prayed over me in the hospital whispered into my spirit.
For the LORD God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.
28
“Why have I never thought of putting padded cushions on these benches?” I squirmed around and arched my back.
“That would be too easy, too comfortable. That’s not the way we do things. If there’s a complicated way, we’ll find ourselves in the middle of it.” Scott took off his jacket and made a cushion for my bottom.
“Seems true, right?” I leaned against the gazebo rail. “Nice to be back out here. I miss the roses, but this cold air is wonderful.” The middle of March was unseasonably cold, but the evergreens that hid the prayer garden were as green as ever.
Scott slipped his arm around me and we fell silent. A slide show of pivotal moments in this spot played in my mind - Scott finding me here in such turmoil that first time over a year ago, praying with Mom when he was having such a hard time before our wedding, soul searching hours among the roses, the wedding.
Scott’s memories reached back a lifetime.
“Thinking about the wedding?” Scott said, planting a kiss on my cheek.
“That and many other things. I wonder, did I ever tell you about a time I came out here, just before Peeps died?” I shifted on the bench to face him.
“I’ve slept since then,” he teased. He gently kissed both my eyes. “I’m wondering why we are here instead of in our nice warm, empty house right now.”
I took his face in my hands and kissed him back. “It was great of Mom and Toppy to take the babies for the night. We’ll go back to the house in just a minute. They can handle them, but I’m glad Brenna will be there to help.”
“I’ll hold you to that promise in about fifteen minutes. It’s getting really cold out here, and it’ll be dark soon, but you love it, I know.” He reached for his work thermos on the bench behind him, and poured a cup of coffee. The steam warmed the air between us.
“You were saying something about a time out here before Dad died?” He took a sip of coffee and handed the cup to me.
“Yes, I was sitting here and watched a lone leaf float on a breeze. It seemed, and don’t laugh, like an angel was playing with it. It literally suspended in the air, then floated down a bit, as though it were looking for a place to land.” I glanced at Scott. Did he think I was crazy?
He just grinned. “Go on.”
“I remembered praying, ‘I’m that leaf, Lord.’ I was trying to find my way, and as I searched, God caught me in His hand, then guided my way. Gently. It was my own defeated thinking that made things hard.”
Scott nodded. “We fall, He catches. Repeat. Not as poetic as your leaf analogy, but I get it. It’s true. He’s always there, His hand extended. Problem is, we keep jumping out of His hand.”
“Exactly. I think a lot of this life is learning to stay in the palm of His hand. I don’t know how people live through things such as we’ve been through, without the hand of God to catch them.” I wrapped my hands around the thermos cup while Scott poured more coffee.
“Do you think we can raise Paul and Helen and Brenna to be stronger than we have been in these crises?” He hopped up and began to pace, rubbing his hands together.
I stood and gave him back his jacket. “Poor baby, you’re cold. Just a few more minutes.”
He put it on. “Warm. I’ll always have you sit on my jacket before putting it on, from now on.”
“You nut.” I stepped toward him, and he pulled me to his chest inside his jacket and enveloped me in his arms.
“Anyway, about the kids. We were both raised in a Christian home. We were “trained up in the way we should go” as the scripture says. I guess we can pray that they have the mind of Christ more than we did. I don’t know. Seems like we have to learn some things for ourselves,” I said, nuzzling my head under his chin. I watched the sun slant orange through the pines. Wood smoke scent from Mom and Toppy’s place filled my senses. Scott’s heartbeat and mine were in sync.
He began to hum.
I didn’t know he even knew the Viennese Waltz.
We swayed in time to his humming.
He began to pull away, but I wouldn’t let him. “Where you going?”
“Well, come with.”
I held on to him as we inched in tandem to the steps of the gazebo. He held tight to my waist as he squatted and I giggled as I was pulled down with him. He reached for a three-pronged cord and plugged in the lights that had been placed along every line of the gazebo last year for our wedding.
“Perfect,” I said.
“Yes, you are,” he said.
We sat down again, at the very edge of the gazebo, just at the top of the steps.
I heard voices coming from the gate. Familiar voices.
“Is there another way back to the house without going through the gate?” I asked.
“Why? We can cut through the woods there and it comes down a little farther from the house,” he said.
I grabbed his hand and we hurried down the steps. “I think that’s Tracy and Javier coming. Something huge is about to happen.”
He grinned big as Texas. We hurried into the woods and headed back to the house.
“I’m glad we left the lights on for them. It’s just too sweet.” Tears rolled down my cheeks. “It would be so perfect for them if,” I began, then felt the first flake land on my nose.
“You and snow, Bailey, how do you do it?” Scott whispered. He held his hand out to catch the falling flakes.
“I have nothing to do with it. But isn’t it wonderful?”
“It is, but crazy for a Texas March. Hey, want to hide and watch them?” Scott asked, stopping behind a tree.
I pushed him onward. “No way,” I said. “That’s private.”
“Easy for you to say. She’ll tell you all about it later.”
I laughed, and winked at my husband. “True.”
He rolled his eyes. “Let’s get to the house, the nice warm, empty, all to ourselves house.” He held my hand as we pressed on through the woods.
Snow made a different kind of silence, a hopeful kind of hush, as though everything regenerated right before our eyes. I had a secret, and I silently prayed that this perfect moment might be appropriate for the reveal.
“Let’s go watch the video of our wedding. I took the cake topper out of the freezer this morning.” I searched for a way to tell my secret.
“Sounds good. All the chaos kept us from celebrating our anniversary. But I heard those year old cake toppers taste like cardboard.” He quickened his step.
“Well, if it does, there are some cookies left.”
“Our first Christmas was spent on our honeymoon, second one in the hospital with Brenna. I’ll be glad when we can begin some Christmas traditions of our own. Especially ones that don’t involve a hospital.” He rubbed his hands together.
“Well,” I said.
Scott stopped and embraced me. “I think we should name our next baby Joy.”
“I like it, but why?” Talk about an open door.
“Because even in the midst of our worst times, knowing you’re mine, and that we are His, has given me the most unexplainable joy.”
I nodded. What was the old song? Something about ‘joy unspeakable and full of glory’. Even with Brenna’s uncertain future, my heart beat with an underlying peace and hope that didn’t make sense. Memories of my father still gave me bad moments, but I was learning to process it. Life went on.
“I’ll take all the joy and pray for a little less chaos,
if that’s even possible,” he said.
“We’ll name her Joy. I wonder if there’s an equivalent name for a boy?” I placed his hand on my stomach.
“Wait, what? Are you saying?” He searched my eyes.
“Well, I haven’t been to the doctor yet, but I’m pretty sure.” Would he hate the idea? The twins were only 3 months old.
He stared at me for a moment, then his Texas-sized grin returned. “Whoop!” He picked me up and twirled me around. The kiss we shared then let me know he was truly happy about it. He started walking toward the house, chattering with breathless excitement. “So much for less chaos. We’ll need a bigger house. We can add on to the inn for now, or better yet, as I promised, I’ll build us a house on that property Dad left me.”
I watched him walk away, talking about plans for our future. He’d realize I wasn’t with him in a second or two, but I wanted to savor the moment. I thought about Peeps, and what he would say to all this.
Joy, joy, joy!
A Devotional Moment
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. ~ John 14:27
Revenge, jealousy, and greed are three evils that abound in our fallen world. We can fall victim to others who are intent on destroying us, themselves, or people around us, simply because of their own hurt and anger. Control over our own situation is lost when evil is perpetrated and we are victimized. As a people of faith, when we find ourselves trapped in such an event, praying will calm our souls. Jesus specifically says He will bring peace to our hearts, and that we should let go of the troubles and the fears. Recitation of memorized Scriptures can soothe our troubled souls and help us to regain calm. In such horrific scenarios, it is hard not to focus on the negative. It is hard to let go, but if we fan the flicker of hope, the Lord will help us always.
In Joy Express, the protagonist is trapped in a terrible situation with no one to hear her cries for help. Keeping God in her heart is difficult when there are others to protect. As she works to save herself she prays that someone will find her against all odds.
Have you ever felt helpless, victimized? Perhaps you were in a situation that wasn’t physically painful or dangerous, but perhaps you’ve been emotionally hurt so deeply that you felt trapped in a situation that no one could help you escape. Suffering hardship—especially when that hardship is caused by someone or something outside your control—is difficult to bear. But one way to overcome is to have your arsenal ready. Memorize fortifying and hope-building Scriptures, and when you find yourself spiraling out of control—either by a mental anguish and scars, or through a physical situation you cannot change—you will find the strength and peace to make it through. God works all things to the good. That doesn’t mean all things will be good, but it means He can make even the awful things have a positive effect in the end. Always hold on to hope.