Equilibrium: A Marauders Interlude

by Lina Andersson

  “Can you even bend forward in those tight pants? And what do you call those?”

  “I call them Cigarette pants. Or Capri, I guess. And they’re not that tight. They’re stretchy.”

  “Whatever you say, Princess. Get cleaning, I’ll be there soon.”

  “You said I wasn’t a princess anymore.”

  “If you’re wearing a blouse with flowers and pink pants, I’ll call you princess.”

  “Whatever, sweetums,” she said and flipped him the bird with a big smile.

  Whether her outfit could be considered cleaning clothes or not, she cleaned, and she did a good job. When they were done, Roach could even consider cooking in the kitchen, something he’d never done before, since he’d thought it was absolutely disgusting. He’d been the only one having a problem with it, though, which was why no one had done anything about it. It could simply be that he never thought something was clean until he’d cleaned it himself, because the kitchen wasn’t as bad as he’d expected when they started. Bull came when he smelled the bleach to see what they were doing. He seemed pretty pleased, and helped Roach moving the fridge, freezer, and stove so they could clean underneath and behind them.

  Afterwards, the three of them were back at the bar, having a smoke and a coffee when Brick came inside.

  “Why does it smell of bleach?” he asked.

  “Roach went a little crazy in the kitchen,” Eliza answered.

  “Did you kill anyone in there?”

  “No, but if she keeps calling me ‘sweetums’ I might,” Roach answered, and Bull laughed since he’d found it hilarious since the first time he’d heard Eliza use the nickname.

  “Isn’t ‘Sweetums’ the big hairy thing on the Muppet show?” Brick asked, which made Bull laugh even harder, since he’d made the same observation. “With the flopping lower jaw.”

  “I wasn’t the one who started it. Take it up with Miss Silicone Tits,” Eliza said and jumped down from the stool. “We ready to go? I wanna take a shower before Billie picks me up.”

  “Yeah.” Brick put an arm around her shoulders. “Say goodbye to sweetums.”

  “Bye, sweetums. I’ll see you.”

  “See you, Princess.”

  “Who’s Miss Silicone Tits?” Bull asked, once Brick and Eliza were out the door.

  “Sapphire. It was nothing.”

  “Just be careful,” Bull said, shaking his head. “Especially in front of Eliza.”

  Roach had kind of hoped he was imagining things, but if Bull was pointing it out, he might have a problem.

  “She fell asleep, so she was still there this morning.”

  “They don’t fall asleep by accident,” Bull laughed. “And if you’re not interested in more you should make it really fucking clear to her, or you might be in shitloads of trouble. Either way, you need to be careful with Eliza.”

  “I am. And it’s not like that. She knows it’s not.”

  “Even if it’s not like that, it might hurt to see you getting close to someone else.”

  “Fucksake! I’m not close to any of the strippers. It was… fuck. I’ll deal with it.”

  “All I wanted to hear,” Bull said and got up. “Take care, sweetums.”

  In the beginning, when they started calling him Cockroach, he’d been okay with it. When that became the shorter ‘Roach’ he’d mainly been relieved it hadn’t been ‘Cock,’ but even Cock would’ve been better than sweetums.

  oOo

  Brick

  “Who’s Miss Silicone Tits?” Brick asked Eliza once they were at home.

  Eliza shrugged. “One of the sweetbutts. At least I think she was a sweetbutt.”

  “She was with Roach?”

  “Yeah. It’s fine, Dad. I just thought it was funny that she called him that.”

  Brick didn’t think she was fine with it at all, and that was the first sign he’d seen that Eliza might see Roach as something more than just a guy she’d been hanging out with. She must’ve noticed his looks because she sighed and rolled her eyes.

  “It’s fine. It was nothing.”

  “Okay.”

  “It’s not like I don’t know he has sex.”

  “Okay.”

  “Think you could say something else than just ‘okay’ in that suggestive way?”

  “Fine?”

  “You’re an ass,” she smiled.

  “I could have her fired.”

  That made her laugh. “I love you, Dad, but no. It’s not a problem, and even if it was a problem, which it’s not, it’s not her fault.”

  Brick couldn’t tell the members they couldn’t have sex—at least he didn’t think he could, he’d never tried, but he doubted it would be a popular decision—but he was worried Eliza might get hurt if Roach… Yeah, he didn’t want to go there. He didn’t want to worry about Eliza possibly falling in love with Roach. To some extent, it might even be better if she saw that side of him. It might stop things before they got out of hand. Brick just hoped it wouldn’t be too hard for her. Besides, she’d said it herself, she was aware Roach had sex. As far as Brick could tell, and he didn’t keep score or anything, Roach wasn’t as active as some of them, but he’d seen him with a few of the girls now and then.

  When Billie arrived twenty minutes later, Eliza was still upstairs. Out of all the old ladies, with the exception of his own, Billie was probably the one Brick liked the best. It wasn’t just because she’d saved Mel in a spectacular fashion. Once in a while, he dared to think about what it would’ve been like if Mel had been taken, too. It wouldn’t have been possible to get back from that. It’s quite possible he would’ve just put a bullet in his head no matter how fucking cowardly that would’ve been.

  When Eliza had refused to even leave the house, he’d asked Billie for help. She’d once told him she’d been raped, and he’d figured that she might understand things Brick couldn’t. It had worked. She’d managed to get Eliza out of her room, and they still went to the shooting range a couple of times a month.

  “Hey, Shooter. She’s taking a shower. Want a coffee while you wait?”

  “Sure,” she said and sat down by the table. “I’ve been thinking she might want her own gun.”

  “Eliza?”

  “Yeah. We’ve been trying different guns, and I have a pretty good idea of what she likes. Maybe not now, but for her birthday or… whatever. Thought you might want to buy it for her. I don’t think she’d carry it with her, but I think she’d like the idea of having one of her own.”

  “That’s… It might be a good idea. If you think she can handle it.”

  “We’re going through gun safety all the time, and I could make it more specific about how to safely carry a gun. I don’t think you’ll have to worry about her keeping it in her bra or some stupid crap like that.”

  “I didn’t think so,” Brick laughed and put the coffee in front of Billie. “I’ll think about it and let you know when I decide.”

  Truth was, if Billie thought Eliza could handle it, he’d feel safer, too, if he knew she had a gun, but he wanted to know for certain she was absolutely stable before she did. He had a feeling that Eliza could be one of those women who simply pulled a gun at a bitch like Miss Silicone Tits if she was bothered by how they behaved.

  oOo

  Eliza

  It bugged me a lot more than it should have, and I didn’t like it. I’d known he had sex, I wasn’t an idiot, and that actually wasn’t what bothered me, it was how that… Barbie type… bitch had acted all possessive and kissed him before calling him Sweetums. How fucking stupid was that nickname? And it felt like more than sex, and I wondered if it was more. If he was, like, with her. I kept wondering what she meant when she said ‘See you tomorrow,’ as if they had a date or something.

  It shouldn’t have bothered me, but it did, and I didn’t like that it did.

  The shooting took my mind off it a little; at least I’d thought it had until we were in the car on our way back home.

  “Where are you at today?
” Billie asked.

  “Um, what?” I turned towards her. “Oh, I don’t know. Was I that bad?”

  “No, you just seemed a bit off, but you handled it well. I wasn’t worried you’d be a safety risk,” she smiled. “Think you’ve got most of it in your muscle memory by now.”

  “That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

  “Yes. Still need to be alert, but it’s definitely a good thing.” She turned at the intersection leading up to our house. “Still wondering what’s bothering you.”

  “It’s nothing about that. Just regular crap.”

  “Well, guess that’s good. When the regular crap is what’s bothering you, I mean.”

  I hadn’t thought about it like that, but she was right, and I started laughing.

  “Nice change of pace,” I said, still laughing, and Billie started, too. “Maybe I’ll start worrying about makeup soon.”

  “Just a matter of time, and then you’ll complain about not finding the right shade of lipstick.”

  “Don’t even joke about that! I like this shade.”

  We both kept laughing until she pulled up outside the house. I unlocked the seatbelt and leaned over to kiss her cheek.

  “You’re the best, Billie.”

  “You know it,” she smiled. “I’m working late next week, but I thought we’d take a long practice the week after. I wanna test the strength in your wrists.”

  “Not sure you need to. I can tell you it’s shit.”

  “All the more reason to test it. Say hi to your mom and dad for me.”

  I’d missed dinner, which felt just as good, and when I got back up to my room, all those nasty little thoughts sneaked their way back into my head. Like if he was with Miss Silicone Tits, and what they were doing, but she’d said ‘see you tomorrow,’ so he might be alone. Finally, it felt like I just had to know, so I grabbed a movie, giving me a reason to see him—not that we’d ever watched a movie together, but still—and I left my room.

  “I’m going out,” I yelled down the stairs that led to the TV room in the basement.

  “Wait, what? Where?” Mom yelled back.

  “She’s a woman of legal age, she’s allowed to leave the house without our permission,” Dad yelled from the living room to the left. “Have fun, Baby Girl.”

  The TV room in the basement had started out as Mac and Mitch’s den, but it had quickly become the one everyone gathered in, since it was cozier. The living room was mainly used when Dad wanted to watch sports. Or when they were fighting.

  “But,” Mom said as she came up the stairs, and then she stopped and looked at me. “Call me if it gets late.”

  “Are you two arguing?” I asked.

  “No? Why do you think that?”

  “Just the separate rooms thing. Or is it some sports thing going on?”

  “Baseball season,” Mom answered with a smile.

  “Ah, okay. I’ll text you. Love you. I’m taking your car.”

  “Okay. Love you, too, honey.”

  I knew where Roach lived, but I’d never been there, and I sat outside his apartment building for a good ten minutes before going inside. I knew he was home. At least I thought he was home, since his bike was outside.

  He lived on the second floor, and when I rang the doorbell, I realized it might be one of the stupidest ideas I’d ever had. When he opened the door, he was only wearing a pair of shorts, and my stomach dropped. Maybe he had company? Which, I admit, was kind of why I was there, to find out if he did, but I hadn’t expected it to be anything but a figment of my imagination. He looked very surprised, and didn’t say anything, which I then realized I hadn’t done either.

  “Is this weird?” I asked.

  “No,” he answered and took a step back. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I just… I’m sorry if I’m bothering you, or… interrupting you, or something.”

  “No. I’m making dinner.”

  “In shorts?”

  “Yeah, so?” he asked with a smile.

  “Are you alone? I mean…”

  “I don’t bring them here,” he said, since he’d obviously understood what I was really asking. “Come on in. Hungry?”

  “Not really.” I dropped my bag on the hallway floor and hesitantly walked farther inside. It wasn’t very big, just a studio apartment with a bed, a couch, coffee table, and a TV. It looked like he’d blown half the budget on the TV, given how big and flashy it was compared to pretty much everything else in the room. There was a small kitchen with enough room for a small table with two chairs. “Nice place. It suits you.”

  “Thanks,” he laughed.

  I’d never seen him without a t-shirt or shirt, and it was kind of… sad. He had loads of scars on his back, a few looked like burn marks, and something I was pretty sure was a bullet wound. He also had really nice abs, which I tried to not think about too much.

  “Are we okay?” he asked.

  “Yeah. Why shouldn’t we be?”

  “I don’t know. That thing with Miss Silicone Tits, maybe?”

  I shrugged, but I knew I was blushing.

  “It’s not like that,” he continued. “She’s just… It wasn’t… She just fell asleep and was still there in the morning.

  “I don’t think they do that.”

  “You’re not the first who’s made that observation.”

  “It’s okay. Not like it’s any of my business.”

  “Maybe not, but I want you to know. She’s not someone I’m seeing.”

  “Okay. I’m sorry if I’m bugging you or something.”

  “You’re not. Sure you’re not hungry?”

  “Maybe a little. I brought a movie.”

  He raised an eyebrow while he went to stir whatever it was he was cooking. It smelled like something with a lot of garlic and tomatoes.

  “What movie?”

  “Beauty and the Beast.”

  “Ah,” he laughed and turned off the stove. “They told me you’d make me watch it sooner or later.”

  “Mac and Mitch?”

  “Dawg, actually. He said he was Gaston.”

  “He was, not so much anymore.”

  “Not sure what you’re talking about. I haven’t seen it. So, pasta with tomato sauce and bacon. Start the movie, and I’ll get you a plate.”

  The food was pretty okay, and even if Roach kept sniggering about the movie, he was kind enough to not be too bad. I told him about the different characters, and who I’d thought were them when I was a kid, which led to a discussion about Vasco—the member who’d died in an explosion years earlier. I didn’t remember much about him, so Roach actually knew more about him than I did.

  The weird feeling from earlier was almost completely gone by the time I got ready to go home. The only lingering weirdness was the fact that I’d reacted at all, but that was hardly something he could do anything about.

  “So this was okay?” I asked when I was in the hallway. “Coming here, I mean. You’re okay with that?”

  “Yeah. Maybe I can pick a movie next time, though?”

  “Sure,” I smiled. I gave him a hug. “I’ll see you.”

  “Um, yeah, see you.”

  Then I went outside, and it wasn’t until I was in the car I realized what had happened.

  What the fuck was the hug about? Why did I do that?

  CHAPTER NINE

  Curious As Fuck

  oOo

  HER MOTHER’S WARDROBE HAD always felt like a treasure chest. She loved walking along the line of clothes and feeling the different textures under her hand as she stroked them. Or burying her nose in the fabric, inhaling, and feeling the faint scent of Bvlgari BLV. She didn’t smell the shoes, but she liked running her hands over those, too. Her dad had a small corner of the huge closet, and it was just for his shirts. He had a drawer in the bedroom, but he didn’t have many clothes. He had one suit, although Eliza didn’t know why; she’d never seen him use it. His clothes smelled of smoke, but she still liked it. And most of his shirts were so worn
, especially at the elbows, that they felt like the softest silk under her hand.

  Her dad never understood why she liked being in their closet so much, why she even liked sitting there to read.

  But her mom did.

  oOo

  Mel

  They were going through Eliza’s closet to collect some clothes for a charity drive. It felt like the most normal thing they’d done in a long time.

  “Have you ever used this?” she asked and held up a white and red striped sweater.

  “Yeah,” Eliza answered. “I’d forgotten I had it, actually. Put it in the keep pile.”

  It looked a lot simpler than anything Eliza usually wore, but then Mel had noticed that she’d started wearing more simple clothes lately. Not as many cute flower patterns, for example. She could’ve turned it into something big, but she actually thought it could be simply that Eliza was growing up. Most girls grew out of the girly clothes. Judging by the number of cute girly clothes in the give-away pile, that was what was happening.

  “We should probably go shopping,” Mel mumbled while looking at the amount of clothes they were giving away.

  “What?” Eliza laughed. “Just fill the closet right back up again?”

  “Could be stupid.”

  “I don’t know. It’s not like I need that many clothes, at least not until I start school again, so let’s wait and see what kind of outfits I feel like then.”

  Mel was relieved to hear that Eliza was still planning on going back to school, but she wasn’t surprised. The last few months a lot had happened, and Eliza seemed okay. At least like she was heading towards okay. There were small steps, but also big ones, like when she’d asked to get her necklace back. Then there was the last thing—a tattoo. That had come up at dinner just the week before, that she wanted a tattoo, and Brick had told her to talk to Violet about it.

  “Have you heard anything from Vi?” Mel asked.

  “Yeah. She’d pushed me up to the top of the queue, so she’ll call me as soon as she gets a cancellation.”

  “So you know what you’ll do?”

  “Yup. It’s awesome,” Eliza answered with a big smile without looking at her.

  “Not going to tell me?”

  “No. It’s a surprise. I think you’ll like it.”