by Debra Kayn
Her fingers dug into his vest. "You're a nomad."
"I'm Bantorus." He inhaled her scent. "There's nothing stopping you from having a good time. You want your independence and to show me you can take care of yourself, then prove it by having sex with me. The last couple of weeks, you've skirted around me, flinched when I came near, and hid how curious you are about me. You gave me a kiss that held nothing back, and then you walked away throwing a challenge at me to come and get you. Doll, you can't play the game that way."
Shari reeled back. He held on to her. What she was before arriving in Federal had nothing to do with what she was now. She was a Bantorus bitch. That was something she couldn't deny and Tango couldn't fault him for using the comforts of the club.
She was a grown woman who'd made her choices. He was a man who wanted inside of her and couldn't talk himself into walking away.
Shari moistened her lips, and his knees caved. He could almost feel the swipe of her tongue on him.
"Okay, but not here," she said.
He chuckled. "Right."
Used to taking what he needed and the hell with the location or time, he led her outside to the truck. Whether it was the request to leave and have sex or she was out of her comfort zone and wanted to go back to the club, her steps faltered, and she pulled on his hand. He stopped at the passenger door of the truck and set her on the seat.
"We'll go back to my room." He buckled her in, enjoying the way her body trembled every time he touched her. "Unless you'd like to stop under the viaduct for a quickie."
He captured her lips, plunging his tongue and nailing her against the seat. Lust grabbed him by the balls. He'd watched every move she made lately, and the more he saw, the more he wanted her. One night wasn't going to satisfy him.
She shook her head, broke away from the kiss, and panted. "Home."
"Good answer," he murmured against her lips, giving her one more kiss and shutting the door.
He drove out of town. At the viaduct, the silence emanating from her gave the guilt he carried time to fill the cab of the truck. He reached across the seat and held her hand, resting their linked fingers on the seat. There was no room for second guesses. He had to push forward.
Shari clutched onto him, and continued to look out the front windshield. Sweat broke out between his shoulders. He had too many things to do before he spent time chasing a woman.
He had to take Los Li out.
He had to keep Shari safe.
Fuck. She was Tango's niece. He continued holding her hand, wishing she'd talk and calm him down.
Shari's quiet resolve belied her verbally agreeing to go back with him. He glanced down at his knuckles, white against the black steering wheel, and his throat spasmed. Did she have any idea what kind of man he was? Was she nervous or frightened? How the hell was he supposed to put her at ease when all he was looking for was sex?
"It's colder in the mountains at night," he blurted.
She glanced over at him before turning her attention back to the road in front of them. "Yeah. It's the high altitude."
What was he doing? The last thing he wanted to do is talk about the weather.
"You like staying in the cabin?" he asked.
The need to talk overwhelmed him. He rolled down the window and stuck his elbow outside. The fresh air whipped inside the truck making it easier to breathe. At times when life compressed in on him, he usually got on his bike and rode away.
She shrugged. "Of course."
Of course. Of course. Of course. He pressed down on the throttle. The sound of gun blasts from the past echoed inside his thoughts. He blinked rapidly against the dark, knowing they weren't real but feeling the death of each hit settled around him.
"You're going too fast for this road," she said.
He eased up on the accelerated and cleared his throat. "Do you have any family near?"
"No." She glanced at him. "Why?"
Jesus. All he wanted to do was have her up in his room and get his mind off what was happening. "Just wondering. Kurt's the only brother I have."
"I know."
"Right." He put his high beams on and watched the sides of the road. "I saw a deer the first night I came here on this road."
The night Risa was kidnapped.
The night he'd killed two Los Li members to save his brother the scars of doing it himself, and paid them back for what they'd done to Risa.
The night he'd cleaned up the whole mess, wiped it from the records. He killed two men. He killed two men. He killed two men.
He slowed down until he caught sight of the clubhouse in the distance. He veered off the road into the gravel parking lot, breathing hard and seeing flashes of light in his tunnel vision. Death and destruction always followed him. There was no escaping.
"Kurt should see about getting the lights aligned on the truck. They're riding high," he said, rubbing his eyes.
Everything he touched ended up destroyed in front of him.
He flexed his fingers, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. His hands were dirty. He shouldn't touch Shari.
The smartest thing for him to do was to leave Federal and keep Kurt safe, Shari safe, his family safe. This time, he couldn't talk his way out. He had to stay to end the war between Los Li and Bantorus MC.
"Lee?"
The truck engine sat quiet. He gazed down at his hands in his lap. The key ring looped over his finger. He had no idea how long he'd sat here after parking or how many of his thoughts he'd said aloud. He belonged somewhere else, by himself, so when reality hit, he'd come down on his own.
"Lee?" Shari removed her seatbelt, turned, and gathered both of his hands in hers. "Honey, are you okay?"
"Stop." He brought her hands up and kissed the back of her knuckles. "Call me anything but that."
"Okay. I forgot. Sorry." She blew her breath out. "Something's wrong. I don't know what you're talking about, and you're not hearing me talk. So, can we back up a little bit, because I don't know what happened since you kissed—"
"You kissed me," he said.
"Okay, I kissed you. Ever since the meeting, I've somehow pissed you off, and then at the bar, you started moving too fast. I don't know what is going on. You wanted to have sex with me—"
"Still do." He pulled on his hands, but she held on. He whispered, "I need to get out of here."
Shari squeezed his hand. "Maybe I should go get Kurt or one of the guys."
"Fuck, no." He let his head fall back in the truck and closed his eyes. "Give me a second."
If she left him now, he'd disappoint Tango. He inhaled deeply through his nose. Why Tango wanted him to care for his niece was beyond him. Tango knew everything about him. He'd seen him lose it on more than one occasion, and he'd seen what could happen. Hell, most of the time Tango helped him clean up after taking out members of Los Li.
Shari let go of his hand. "I'm going to go get your brother."
Panicked, he grabbed for her. Large blue eyes stared back at him, glaringly bright in the dim cab of the truck. It was the fear he recognized that had him worried. He was a murderer, and she saw right through him.
He scared her, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. Yet, he wanted her with him. He wanted her soft touch, her soothing voice, her patience.
"Don't leave me, doll," he whispered.
She nodded. "I'll stay, but let's go up to your room and get you out of the truck."
He could do that. The club was only a few feet away. All he had to do was make it there, and she'd stay with him.
Chapter Six
Upstairs in his room, Lee flopped onto the single mattress. Shari moved to the end of the bed and unlaced his black leather boots, pulling them off him. On the outside, anyone would think Lee was a badass biker in total control.
On the inside, he was a mess. She'd seen glimpses of unease with him at the bar, but on the way home, he'd lost her. He'd just slipped away as if he wasn't aware she was riding right beside him in the truck. His hands shook, h
is eyes darted, and his constant movements scared her. She stripped off his socks and moved to the side of the bed.
His actions reminded her of the night Uncle Ted smuggled her out of California and delivered her to Federal, by herself, without a job, and strict orders not to leave Federal until he came back for her. She still failed to understand what danger she was in and why Uncle Ted's messages no longer arrived. However, that night when she'd ridden in the passenger seat of Uncle Ted's car, he'd talked and talked, most of it going over her head. She was too in shock to make sense of anything, but he'd had a faraway look in his eyes that remained there while he got in his car and drove away. That same look was in Lee's gaze tonight, and even after all these years, she still didn't know what the haunted stare meant or how to help make it go away.
"I'll let you rest," she whispered.
Lee's arm went around the back of her knees and her feet left the ground. She sailed over his body and landed softly, trapped between his hard body and the wall, on the narrow bed. She froze. Lee pinned her down with his leg between her knees, his hand planted beside her on the bed.
Half laying on her, he said, "Just talk to me. Stay and talk."
Her heart beat wildly in her chest. She wanted to make her excuses and leave. The wild thrill she felt when he held her in the bar had left in the truck on the way home. She was cold, edgy, and out of her comfort zone.
He laid his head beside her on the pillow, sprawled his arm across her stomach and placed his hand on her hip, holding her possessively. She remained on her back, staring up at the ceiling in the dark, cocooned by a man that mystified her. And, if she was honest with herself, he scared her.
"Please," he whispered in her ear, his warm breath tickling her neck.
For a brief moment, she thought about denying him. But she couldn't turn away when he needed her. All she had to do was talk, and he'd listen.
"I have a lot to do tomorrow if we're going to open Silver Girls. The bikers have been using the building to crash in after their shift of watching out for the town." She swallowed, her mouth bone dry. "Risa had the place fixed up fancy—before the fire—but I don't think it'll be necessary to pimp the place up to the degree she had it. I always felt Risa did the decorating for us girls, rather than the men. The miners don't care, because all they're doing is coming to watch us dance."
He grunted. "Men ain't gonna notice, doll."
She thought about that statement. "You're right. So, all we'll have to do is make sure we have enough room to dance and maybe borrow some tables and chairs from the Elks club until we can order more. I'll have the guys erect the poles, which Stripper has stored up in his room. The poles were the one thing besides the tub that didn't burn. Though I don't want to know why Stripper asked to store them in his room."
"You don't need to know," Lee mumbled.
"Yeah..." She swallowed, wanting to change the subject. "Once we have the place ready, we'll spread the word, and the miners will be ready to come back."
"Tell me how the miners act when you're dancing," he said.
"Like any man, I suppose." She lifted her head and rearranged her hair, so she was more comfortable. "They're good guys. We rarely had any of the miner's fight in the building, but that's because we were the only adult entertainment in town and they didn't want Sheriff Colby to shut us down. He runs a tight town and wouldn't put up with a lot of trouble. Even the bars stay away from stripping or providing women, so we had most of the customers on the weekend. Because of the history with prostitution in Federal, the Feds come sniffing around every so often trying to catch us doing something illegal, but Risa kept everything kosher—I will too. I plan to make sure the girls stay straight and now that we have Bantorus MC, there's no reason for the girls to see the miners after they're done dancing."
"Did you see the miners after you danced?"
"No," she whispered on a yawn. "There's a difference between knowing a man is interested in getting to know you better and one that only looks at your body and thinks of himself. Don't get me wrong. That kind of behavior doesn't make them bad men, but casual affairs to take care of my needs was never something I wanted to indulge in. Not that way. I'm not looking for a relationship either."
Several seconds ticked by. Shari muffled another yawn. It had to be late. The club meeting went long tonight, and since Lee took her to town, it was probably close to midnight.
"What about the Bantorus members?" Lee asked.
The room seemed extra quiet. She whispered, "What about them?"
"You banging all of them?" Lee's fingers pressed into her hip.
She closed her eyes, because it was easier to hide the truth than admit how she fit into Bantorus MC. She wasn't an angel, and she made no excuses for how she lived. She wouldn't allow Lee to turn something that brought her comfort and security into something ugly and cheap.
"It's different with them, that's all." Her voice trembled, because his hand rubbed down her thigh and her short dress had come up when he'd flipped her onto the bed.
Lee's breathing deepened and lengthened with each exhale. His body no longer shook, but lay beside her hard, warm, and steady. His hand caressed her upper bare leg. She shivered from the intimate touch. She shifted, trying to keep her legs perfectly straight and together, and her flip-flop fell off her foot and onto the floor.
"You're tense," he said.
Tense? Tense? He had no idea.
"Sorry." She wrinkled her nose, mortified at how compliant she sounded. He expected an experienced woman who spent her free time pleasing bikers.
He propped his elbow onto the mattress and cupped his head. Looking down at her, he said, "Keep talking."
She'd run out of things to say, so she blurted out a random fact. "I've thought about cutting my hair—"
"Don't ever do that." His fingers parted her thighs. "I like long hair."
She gulped, unable to move when his finger skimmed her panties. "I, uh, thought about buying one of those all-terrain vehicles like Risa has after I earn some money dancing. In the winter, I wouldn't have to worry about the snow on the road and driving the truck."
While he traced the elastic band of her panties on her inner leg, the heel of his hand rested against her pubic bone. She pointed her toes, tightening her muscles, in an attempt to ignore what the added pressure to her clit was doing to her.
"Smart idea." He lowered his face and pressed his lips against the underside of her jaw.
"What are you doing?" She panted.
The warmth between her legs intensified. Jumpy, she moved the hand closest to the wall to the bed, and clutched the bedspread. She wanted to get up and leave the room, but her body stayed and her hips thrust off the mattress.
"You know what I'm doing." He sucked on her neck. He was going to leave a mark on her.
"I...we...oh, God." She closed her eyes against the rush of pleasure.
He slipped his finger under the elastic of her panties and dipped into her wetness. She grasped his forearm and held it against her stomach afraid he'd stop.
He kept touching her.
In circles.
In strokes.
Light, at first, and then faster.
She pressed against his hand, moving with his moves, inhaling with each of his breaths and exhaling as her wound-up tight body would allow—which wasn't often enough, because the room swayed and all she could do was utter. "Maybe th-this isn't a great idea."
"Best idea I've had," he mumbled against her skin.
Oh, god, he was right. Her body vibrated in response. She stretched, pointing her toes, and all that did was magnify the pleasure between her legs.
"Yes," she said on a moan.
His hot skin pressing against her excited her more. Fully clothed, she let go of her inhibitions and allowed herself to feel without barring herself from experiencing everything. She dug her fingernails into his arm, latching on, and letting him take her higher.
"That's it, doll. Give it to me," he said on an exhale.
The aroma of leather, sweat, and arousal filled her nose, and her muscles constricted. Past the point of holding back, her orgasm hit hard and fast. She squeezed her thighs together, capturing his hand, and the pleasure exploded inside of her. In that second, she ached to hold on to the feelings swirling inside of her.
Her body came down from the high before her mind fully functioned. She flinched when he moved his hand, her clitoris still swollen and sensitive. Lee moved into a sitting position, grabbed a blanket shoved half between her and the wall that she hadn't noticed.
He covered her. "Sleep, doll."
The warm tone he'd kept while he had her in bed continued, but his dead gaze looked through her. The heaviness that'd came over her body from her orgasm left her unable to react fast enough.
She reached for him "But, you—"
"Got shit to do first." He pushed off the bed and moved away from her. "I'll be back."
From hot to cold, Lee walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. She shivered, rolling to her side and pulling the blanket over her bare shoulder. All she could do was lay there with her dress twisted around her waist, her panties damp, and close her eyes.
Lee was a nomad turned lifer. She curled into a ball. He'd succeeded in getting her into bed. She wouldn't stop him, because she had no self-control when it came to him, and he knew it. Yet, he'd given her an orgasm while she remained clothed, and he tucked her into his single bed while he disappeared into the night. None of his actions made sense if all he wanted to do was screw her.
She had many questions, and all of them would have to wait. She closed her eyes. Her body continued to vibrate into a hypnotic relaxed state. Somewhere between the bar and the club, Lee had left her. Then he'd returned to bed and focused all of his attention on her. She inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. She quite liked him in bed.
Chapter Seven
Kurt opened the front door to his house and stepped back without questioning Lee's visit. Lee walked past his brother and straight to the living room. He had to get out of Federal.
Tonight proved he wasn't ready to sign on to being a lifer with Bantorus MC. He shoved his hands in his front pockets. The shakes continued, even after he had Shari trembling in his arms. He'd thought touching her, holding her, giving her something without asking anything in return would appease him, and make him feel less guilt.