Adel's worries were many, but they all stemmed from the same question, one that raced around and around in her mind every time she was alone with her thoughts: What if her pack was suffering without her?
She shared her concerns with Jarek, and he assured her that, even if her worst fears were true, she had done a great deal of good for his clan as well. The Sun People came less frequently into Neman's territory, but whenever they did Adel was always there to tend the wounded and reassure their loved ones with wisdom from the spirit world. Even if she was not present to help her own clan, at least she was there to help another.
Jarek's words comforted her, and he was as adept as always in turning her attention away from worry, but he alone could not silence her guilt. Each passing season she feared that her father might learn she was with Neman's pack and send his warriors to bring her home, and then what would she do? Go with them before they could make war upon this clan too? Or would Neman give her up willingly to protect his pack? She would not blame him if he did. He had been kind and welcoming to her despite the risk, and she knew that she owed him much.
News finally came, for good or ill, after the gathering the following summer. Adel did not attend, of course, but after several weeks of absence Neman and his entourage returned to the den with word from the other packs. It had been a tumultuous gathering, by all accounts, with Alpha Miral stirring more chaos beyond the western mountains while many new, smaller clans vied for power.
Adel and the others clustered around a fire at the base of the hill, where a small feast had been thrown together in celebration of Neman's return. The tight-knit group jostled and squirmed in the evening twilight as everyone tried to squeeze to the centre, where the alpha and his companions regaled stories of all that had transpired at the gathering. None were more eager to hear the news than Adel, and she strained her ears to listen over the chitter of bugs and the pop of the fire.
Jarek tugged her by the arm and led them around to the side of the group, where the crowd begrudgingly parted to allow the young man through so that he could greet his brother, who had been first among those chosen by Neman to accompany him.
“Things in the north will be changing,” Jarek's brother said as they came into earshot. “Good for us, perhaps, but we shall have to see.”
“What is changing in the north?” Adel asked, elbowing her way forward, much to the displeasure of those around her.
Jarek's brother raised his eyebrows, looking up at the young woman as she stumbled out of the crowd. “Alpha Kotal is dead. The spirits finally called for him late this winter. His son Khelt leads the pack now.”
Adel drew in a sharp breath, her hands trembling. “What of my father? Does he mean to continue fighting?”
“I fear so.” The warrior gave her a sympathetic nod. “Alpha Khelt seemed to want peace. He talked of forgetting the past and burying his father's rivalries, but he is young, and I think not so patient as the other alphas. He asked for a show of loyalty from your father, and Ulric said he was only loyal to men, not boys. That made Khelt angry.”
“What else happened between them?” Adel pressed.
“They talked more, but it was not my place to overhear. All I know is that they could come to no accord.”
“The old fool,” Adel hissed. “He has a new alpha who wants peace, and still he thinks his pride more important than his own kin?”
An uncomfortable silence fell over those around her. Even Jarek's brother averted his eyes, seeming unwilling to speak ill of another clan's alpha.
“What does he think he can gain?” she continued. “How many warriors does he even have left to fight with?”
“He called a few to his side from other packs, or so I heard,” Jarek's brother said. “But those from his own clan... I know you do not wish to hear it, Adel, but they were weak. All the other packs saw it. Many of them were young.”
Adel dragged her palms down her face, fighting against a familiar anger that raged back to life inside her as if it were not a day old. More young men like Carim. Probably some of the very same youngsters she had tended but a few years ago when their scrapes and scratches from play had brought them to the seers' den.
“There is nothing to be done about it,” one of the others said. “Maybe Khelt is wise and makes peace.”
“And if not, who are we to interfere?” Jarek's brother said, giving Adel a poignant look.
She said nothing, turning away and pushing back through the crowd. She wished the gathering had never happened. She wished she had not been reminded of her father's foolishness. Why could it not have all remained in the past, nothing more than a painful memory? She hated that she cared. What reason did she have to care for a man who treated her as Ulric had? The anger and the passion were back, and she was no longer tired. Two long years of rest had soothed her weariness. She was ready to fight again.
No! She raked her hands through her hair in frustration. She did not want that. Here with Jarek, she was happy. There was no need to fight for some sense of righteousness that would only see her beaten back down until her will was broken again.
“You don't have to go back to them,” Jarek's voice called softly from behind her. His arms circled around her waist a moment later, and she fell back against his shoulder with a choked sigh.
“That is what makes it so hard,” she said.
“What good could ever come of it?” He reached up to touch her chin, smiling as he tilted his head to look at her. “You are usually the one who scolds me for chasing foolish dreams.”
“Perhaps I only do that to persuade myself. Because I have those dreams too. And perhaps they are foolish, but someone once told me...” She drew in a strained breath. “My sister, she once told me that a day would come when even the alphas would listen to us. She was always so wise, everything she said was always right—” Adel pulled away suddenly, clenching her fists and stamping her foot, focusing on her anger to try and block up the raw hollow that had begun to open in her chest again. “She was just a child! What did she know?! I cannot live my life like a dream. Life is no dream. It is harsh and cruel, and a woman like me will never tell alphas what to do!”
Jarek took her hands and drew her back around to face him. She tried to pull away, but he held on tight and tugged her back.
“Oh my seer,” he said softly, his smile as pained as it was loving. “Pretty like a bird who soars through the sky. Spirit like a bird who watches over us all.” He raised his eyes to the heavens, nodding at the crescent moon. “You are the moon mother herself, for who else would be so pure of heart?”
“Stop,” she said, tears gleaming in her eyes. “I am no such thing.”
“But you are. You will go, won't you? Or you would not be trying to convince yourself to stay. Your heart knows what is good and pure, no matter how foolish, and I could take you to the end of the world before you would stop listening to it.”
“Forgive me,” she said. “I want to stay with you. I wish I could, more than anything. If there is a chance I can persuade my father to stop his fighting, any chance at all, I must try. He cannot throw away this opportunity with Alpha Khelt.”
“I understand,” Jarek replied, his brow creasing, “but let this be the last time. If he will not listen, you cannot let him hurt you again. I cannot let you go back to that.”
Adel nodded. “If he does not, then I will follow you to the end of the world to forget him. I will let go of it all, forever this time. I was tired before, I just wanted to be away from him and my pack, but this time,” she nodded again, more firmly, “I know what I am choosing. If I can do no more good there, then I will do it here instead, with you.”
“Then I shall be by your side when you go.”
Adel began to protest. “You cannot, he would—”
“You said your dream was to have alphas do as you say.” Jarek's grin spread across his face. “Let us believe that, and hope.”
She hesitated for a moment, then matched his smile. She was afraid, but s
he remembered Uriel's words. It was not time to forget them just yet. “We will be together, no matter what.”
Jarek kissed her, pulling her into a tender embrace. “Always.”
—19—
Adel's Return
In the two years spent with Neman's pack Adel had collected little of worth, never having been one to hoard trinkets. A set of well-kept stone tools sat upon a rack she had made just inside Jarek's tent, along with a smooth cutting slab and several baskets of dried herbs she used for cooking or brewing teas. Besides her clothing and fox pelt headdress, she possessed nothing else she would lament leaving behind.
Not wishing to make a scene of their departure, she and Jarek rose shortly before the sun came up and gathered what few belongings they needed. The others would guess where they had gone, she suspected, especially after her outburst the previous night. She hoped Jarek's family would not think poorly of her for taking their son away.
There was one person that Adel needed to say goodbye to before leaving, however. Leide was up bright and early, stirring the coals of last night's fire outside the seers' cave. The den mother seemed to guess what was coming the moment she caught sight of Adel and Jarek, shoulders heaving with a visible sigh as she eyed her apprentice.
“I knew this day would come. I told you it would happen,” Leide muttered, though Adel sensed the older woman's snippiness was only a mask. She would miss her apprentice, and Adel would miss her mentor.
“I shall return, Den Mother,” the young woman said, “perhaps soon, but perhaps not for some time.”
“I would argue if I thought it would do any good, but your mind is set, isn't it?”
Adel nodded, and Leide pressed her lips together tightly over her yellow teeth, emotion glimmering in her eyes.
“I'll take good care of her, Den Mother,” Jarek said.
“Be sure you do, boy. Wait here. I have something for you before you go.” She stood up and hurried back inside the cave, returning a few moments later with a bundle of soft woolen material in her hands. “Here,” she handed the bundle to Adel. “Our pack has few treasures, but this one is right for you, I think.”
Adel unfurled her gift, revealing a long, flowing gown, expertly woven from wool in the fashion of the Sun People. It was an art unknown to the craftspeople of her kind, and any clothing made in such a way was valuable indeed. This gown in particular was open at the front, but with bindings attached around the waist and neck that could be tightened to close it. A fluffy collar of fur crowned the garment, as much to add stature to the wearer as it was to insulate them against the cold, by the look of it. Setting aside her small pack of belongings, Adel slipped the gown around her shoulders without a word, finding that it fitted almost perfectly.
“It belonged to a shaman, so the warriors tell me,” Leide said. “He gave it to them in exchange for his life when he and his band wandered too far into our territory.”
“It is wonderful. Thank you.”
The den mother cackled. “Always so plain of words unless you're arguing with someone, aren't you? Well, it's a gown fit for a den mother. Wear it with pride, girl.”
“I shall. Thank you for everything you have taught me, Leide.” She moved forward stiffly and drew her mentor into a quick embrace, which soon softened as the other woman squeezed her back.
“It was my honour. Few seers have the fortune to instruct such fine apprentices. Go on now, before the others rise.”
Adel stepped back, giving her mentor a smile and one last look of thanks. Then she picked up her bag, took Jarek's hand, and left the den of Neman's clan behind her.
With their belongings bound to the back of Jarek's wolf, they followed the eastern edge of the river north. The return journey was easier without the maze of waterways to slow them down, and by dawn the following morning Adel could see her father's lands stretching out into the distance before them. Memories welled up inside her as the familiar sights and scents of home assailed her senses. It was a bitter return. A frightening one. The girl she had been two years ago warned her to stay away, reminding her of her father's fists, of the hopelessness in trying to reason with him. She was no longer that person, however. Happiness and freedom had awoken an optimism within Adel that still believed there was a chance, however slim, to save her father's clan from ruin. If Alpha Khelt could be reasoned with, then she would be the one to do it.
They neared the crossing that would take them to the den, but the pair angled away farther east instead, heading back to the hidden grove where they had met all those years ago. It seemed half a lifetime now. They had been little more than children back then, and now they were man and woman. Since the day of Adel's birth, she estimated close to nineteen years must have passed.
The plan had been to stop and rest at the pool, but Adel found herself unable to sit idle now that she was so close to home. A passionate energy kept her pacing back and forth. She ate a few mouthfuls of dry food at Jarek's insistence, but try as she might she could not settle down. Taking Jarek's face between her hands, she kissed him.
“I must go. I cannot wait.”
“You're sure you must do it alone?”
Adel nodded. As much as she would have liked to have him with her when she set foot back in her father's den, she knew that it was unwise. Ulric would be angry enough without learning that his daughter had been with a man of Neman's pack. If all went well, then that could come later. And if not, Jarek would be waiting here to take her away from her people one final time.
“Come back tonight,” he said. “Tell me how everything goes.”
“I will. If you smell any of my father's warriors, don't let them find you.”
Jarek grinned. “I'll be sly like the fox.” He ran a finger along the side of her headdress. “And I'll be back for you, even if they do chase me away.”
Adel forced a breathless smile of her own, then kissed him on the cheek briefly and stepped back, taking the shape of her wolf and bounding away to the west.
Perhaps, in another life, she would have had the foresight to savour the moment a little longer.
A warrior she did not recognise accosted her before anyone else had the chance, seizing her by the arm once she reverted from the shape of her wolf in a show of submission. The man was of a similar age to her, eyes glinting with eagerness as he shook her roughly.
“You know whose territory this is, woman?” He pointed toward the den, now just a short distance away. “Not wise of you to come here all by yourself.”
“Perhaps not.” She glowered at him, unimpressed by the flash of teeth and the curled lip that sought to intimidate her. In her mind's eye she had already begun to piece together the tale of how this young warrior, eager for battle and glory, had pledged himself to her father's cause in the time she had been absent. Had hot-blooded fools replaced all the good men of her pack now? How many more like this had her father called to his side?
With a growl the warrior tugged Adel forward, pushing her in front of him as he marched her toward the den. “We'll see what the alpha does with you,” he said, one of his palms finding the curve of her rear as he manhandled her.
We shall see what he does with you, Adel thought, biting back a response as the young man ushered her forward with a series of unnecessarily intimate shoves. She kept her eyes on the ground, trying not to focus on the familiarity of home as they walked between the dwellings and headed toward the alpha's den. Thanks to either her unfamiliar garb, the long hair falling over her face, or perhaps just a sense of disbelief that it could possibly be her, no one approached Adel along the way. The distant voices of her kin fell on deaf ears as she braced herself for what was to come. She could not be distracted. She was here to speak with her father, and the feelings of nostalgia and homesickness would be for nothing if he still proved to be as hard-headed as ever. By nightfall she might be leaving the den behind her again, this time never to return.
A deep breath filled her lungs as the drapes over the den's entrance parted and the warri
or pushed her through. A conversation that had been going on inside came to an abrupt halt, but Adel had no time to take in the scene before her before the warrior gave her another hard shove and kicked her feet out from under her, sending pain shooting through her knees and the heels of her palms as she hit the ground on all fours.
“Alpha!” the man announced proudly. “I found this one wandering near the edge of the den.”
In the moment of silence that followed Adel lifted her head, and her eyes met with those of her father for the first time in many moons. He sat upon his lavish seat with Karel at his side, chapped palms working distractedly in his lap as he spun the point of a familiar copper knife against his thumb. The alpha looked older somehow, though the silver threading his black hair was still innocuous. Had the lines on his face become more pronounced? Or was it the pink tinge lingering in his eyes?
No one said a word as Ulric and Karel stared at her. Then, still in silence, the alpha rose to his feet and approached the warrior who had burst in unannounced. In one quick motion he snatched the man's hand, pried open his fingers, and sliced the tips from two of them.
The warrior recoiled, gasping sharply as he clutched the digits that had tasted the edge of Ulric's knife. Trembling, he gazed at his alpha with a mixture of confusion and anger.
“Remember that the next time you think of laying your hands on my daughter,” Ulric said, then jerked his head toward the den's entrance. Chest heaving with pain, the warrior shuffled his way out, leaving a trail of red droplets behind him.
Daughter of the Night: A Book of The Moon People Page 17