The two girls nodded their heads silently.
“Now, let’s dig into this amazing pizza.”
The three of us sat down, and Rina rapidly ate the first piece of pizza while Abby slowly and deliberately ate her pizza with a knife and fork. “This is my favorite pizza of all time,” Abby said.
“Mine too,” Rina said.
“So, how was your day?” I asked them both. I always tried to ask them how their day was, and they generally told me what happened that day – both good and bad. Rina was more likely to dramatically tell me all the gossip at school, and Abby more or less stuck with what was going on in her classes and what homework she had.
“Oh my God, Aunt Harper, today was like the best day ever in school. The best day ever,” Rina said dramatically.
I smiled. For her, any day where there was some kind of juicy gossip happening was the best day ever. “Tell me about it, Rina. How was today the best day ever?”
“Well, we had a substitute teacher in biology class and that teacher was such a moron. I mean, totally clueless.” She rolled her eyes. “But it was so much fun, ‘cause we didn’t do much but watch a stupid movie. It as this old movie where these people get really little and small and they go into this dude’s body to do stuff. They get attacked by red blood cells and all these cool things.”
I nodded my head. “Fantastic Voyage. I remember it well. I’m surprised that they still trot that old movie out for your generation. I loved that movie, though.”
“Yeah, it was alright. I just loved that class today, because it’s so boring every other day. And I don’t have any biology homework, so it’s all rad.”
I smiled. “Any other reason why today was the best day ever?”
“Yeah. Amelia Stone broke up with Alex Carter. They were like the popular kids and they’ve been going out for three years now. That was like whoa!” She made the motion for mind blown. “I mean, really.”
“Three years? How old are they?”
Rina shrugged. “I don’t know, they’re in the 6th grade.”
I tried to suppress a laugh. “So, they’ve been hot and heavy since the 3rd grade then. They were a regular Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton couple.”
“Who are they?” Abby asked.
“Oh, Lord. Looks like the two of you have a lot to learn. Now, I know that this is probably going to be boring for you, but the two of you need to learn about actors from the golden age. Tell you what, this weekend, we’re going to watch some movies. Bringing Up Baby with Cary Grant and National Velvet with a young Elizabeth Taylor. I think that you’ll love both of those movies. Later on, I’m going to expose you to movies with Audrey Hepburn, James Dean and Marilyn Monroe. At the very least, you girls need to know those actors. Otherwise…” I shook my head. “You just have to know these actors.”
Rina shrugged her shoulders. “If you say so, Aunt Harper. We’ll watch whatever you want to watch as long as it’s not boring.”
“Oh, you won’t be bored. Now, Abby, how was your day?”
“It was fine.” Her face brightened. “I was going to ask you if I can start playing an instrument in the band. It’s early enough in the semester that I can get in if I want. I want to play the flute.”
“The flute it is. We’ll go shopping for it.”
“Thanks, Aunt Harper.”
“Band geek,” Rina said.
“Hey,” I said to Rina. “There’s nothing wrong with playing an instrument. I played the flute myself when I was her age. I wasn’t very good at it, but I played it. It was a lot of fun.”
Abby made a face at Rina, and she punched her in the arm.
I rolled my eyes. “None of that. Now, I know that you girls have homework to do, so after dinner, you need to get on that. I’m here to help you with whatever you need.”
Rina groaned. “I hate homework.”
“Of course you hate homework. Trust me, in your life, you’re going to do a lot of drudgery that you’re going to hate doing. I hate doing depositions and doing taxes and paperwork. Life isn’t supposed to be all fun and games.” I raised an eyebrow. “Now, let’s get these dishes done and you two girls need to get to studying. Once you’re done studying, you can do whatever you want. But homework comes first.”
We all did the dishes and the girls went to their rooms. I retired to my office and looked over some case law on Michael’s case before I fell asleep right there in the chair, fully clothed.
Guess I was tired.
Ten
“You’re doing what?” Axel asked me. He was over at my house, hanging out and watching movies with me and the girls, who each had a friend over with them. We were in the kitchen, doing dishes, while the girls were plopped down in front of the television set, watching some PG-13 movies, which are the only movies I allowed them to watch, aside from G and regular PG movies. “Do you mind repeating that for me?”
I drew a breath. “I’m representing the guy who raped me in college.”
He shook his head. “You never told that you were raped.” His face looked pained. “I’m very sorry to hear that. But I don’t understand. He’s been accused of murdering his father-in-law, and you took his case? What are you thinking, Harper?” He bit his lower lip. “Why didn’t you go to the police when it happened? And why don’t you go to the police right now? There’s not a statute of limitations on rape. That’s what you should be doing, Harper, not trying to get him off on this current crime.”
I scrubbed the dish that I was working on and put it into the dishwasher. “Axel, I think that you know better than that. Hell, I know better than that. You know what happens in those rape cases. The victim gets dragged through the mud, and I was traumatized enough by that happening. I wasn’t going to be re-victimized by the prosecutor bringing in witness after witness who would testify that I was dirty-dancing with Michael that night, and that I was blasted beyond recognition. That I was wearing a short skirt and a low-cut blouse. I wasn’t going to have my character assassinated. It was going to be ‘he said she said’ the entire way, and I just didn’t want to deal with it.”
Axel raised an eyebrow. “That was completely selfish, Harper. You let the bloke get away with it. Now he’s accused of murder. Are you so sure that he didn’t kill Judge Sanders?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “No. Of course not. But, trust me, if I find out that he did it, I’m going to ensure he gets his just desserts. That was one of the reasons why I went ahead and took the case – I can ensure that he doesn’t walk if he’s guilty as sin. And, yes, I’ve thought a lot about sinking him even if he didn’t do it. But I can’t really do that – if I do that, the real people are going to go free.”
I sighed and put my hands on the edge of the sink. “Axel, I’m having issues with this, I’m not going to lie. But there’s a part of me that feels that representing him will help me put what happened behind me. I’ve been carrying it around with me all this time. My therapist has told me that the rape is behind a lot of my issues.” I peeked out the kitchen into the living room and made sure that the girls were pre-occupied and couldn’t hear me. “And we need to talk about that.”
Axel nodded his head. “Let’s go out back,” he said. “I think that I know what you’re going to say to me.”
I got on my coat, and Axel did the same. The weather was getting colder and colder by the day. Soon there would be snow on the ground and the big oak tree in the backyard would have white branches. I was looking forward to it, yet dreading it at the same time. I loved the snow, because it reminded me that Christmas was right around the corner. Christmas was always my favorite time of year, for some reason. It meant family gatherings and holiday specials and Christmas-themed movies on the Hallmark Channel, which I loved.
Yet I hated the snow because I hated driving in it and the city was terrible about clean-up. The snow plows would pile the snow up on the sides of the streets, and I would have to scrape my car, because I didn’t have a garage. And I did a lot of walking, because I usually had
to park far away from the courthouses downtown, and I hated walking through the snow.
But tonight, the air was crisp, but not cold. Even so, I felt a chill. I didn’t want to have this talk with Axel, but I knew that I had to.
We sat down on the backyard chairs, and I wrapped my coat around me tight. Axel was looking at me and I could almost read his thoughts.
He took my hand and I smiled. “Uh, Axel, I wanted to talk to you before things between us went further. I know that you are probably going to want to, uh, make love at some point. But I…” I shook my head and felt tears coming to my eyes. “I haven’t been intimate with anybody since the rape. I’ve pushed every guy away from me because I just can’t bring myself to make love with anyone. My therapist has tried to work with me about it, but, so far, I’ve been having problems. I associate the act of being intimate with fear and degradation and intimidation and pain. I’m so sorry.” By that time, I was crying, really crying, my hot tears running down my cheeks.
Axel nodded his head. “I understand, Harper. I do. Of course, at some point, I would like the two of us to make love, but it doesn’t have to be right away. I can wait. I’ll wait for as long as you need me to.”
I took a deep breath. “What if you have to literally wait forever? What if I can never get there? I mean, it’s been 17 years. It’s been 17 years, and I haven’t so much as dated a man since then. I can’t even think about doing that with a man. I just don’t know…”
He put his arm around me and kissed me on the forehead. “It’s okay, Harper, really.”
“No it’s not. It’s not. You deserve a real relationship. I can’t hold you back like that. I might never get to the point where I can make love without wanting to freak out, and that’s not fair to you.” My heart was breaking, because I really was falling in love with Axel. Yet, I just couldn’t hold him back like that. I was going to see my therapist this week, and I was going to have to try to work it out again, yet I didn’t think that I could. And if I couldn’t, how could things go forward with Axel or any other man? They couldn’t. I hated that fact, but I had to face it. Axel and I probably were going to have to only be friends.
I hated Michael that much more. He screwed me up, maybe for life. Because of him, I couldn’t be normal. He made me sick.
“Harper, I’m not going to give up on this.” He looked down at the ground. “I’m falling in love with you. And your girls. You’re worth waiting for. You’ll figure it out. You’re strong. I believe in you, Harper. And there’s no need to rush anything.”
He put his hand in my hair and kissed me softly. I closed my eyes, feeling the tingling, yet also feeling the fear. My heart was pounding and I felt my entire body shaking.
I pulled away. I didn’t want to lose control. I didn’t want to go further.
“I’m falling for you, too,” I told him. “But-“
“No buts. Seriously, I’m a very patient man.” He kissed me again and then kissed my forehead. “But I don’t see why you’re putting yourself through this. Representing him. How can you be unbiased?”
I took a deep breath. “I’ll admit it. I want him to fry. I’m actually hoping that he’s guilty, so that I can make sure that he fries. That would actually give me the most emotional satisfaction.”
“But if he’s not guilty? What happens if you find, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he had no hand in killing that man. What then? You’re going to represent him and I know that you’re going to give it your all. Or, worse yet, what happens if he did do it and the jury finds him not guilty? Like with that John Robinson bloke. How are you going to handle that? I’m worried about you, Harper, I’m not going to lie. I’m worried about you, anyhow. I don’t know why you were acting odd the other night. I think that you should see a doctor.”
I shook my head. “I think that I’m okay. I mean, I’ve suffered from clinical depression for most of my life, and I do take meds for that. I admit that I did feel weird the other night, but I feel fine today. But I am going to see my therapist. I have to get my head straight about this Michael thing. It’s bothering me and I have to get to the bottom on how I really feel about it.”
Axel kissed my forehead again and I sighed. “Thank you for being so patient with me. I hope that I can get past this and get on a better footing. I know that you’re not going to wait forever, though.”
He smiled. “I’ll wait as long as you like. You’re special, Harper. I mean that.”
At that, Rina poked her head out the door. “Brianna’s mom is here,” she said. “To pick her up.”
I nodded my head and stood up. “I better greet her. You can hang out back here or come on in.”
Axel followed me into the living room so that I could see Brianna off.
I was relieved that we had this talk, but worried at the same time. He said that he would wait for me.
But what if I could never get there?
Eleven
The next day, I decided that I was going to do the investigation of Michael with an eye towards proving to myself that he was guilty. I wanted him to be guilty. I needed him to be guilty. It would give me great satisfaction to make sure that he went down. Yet, if I thought for a second that he was innocent, I couldn’t sink him. I was too ethical for that.
I was restrained, however, by my Sixth Amendment duty to Michael. I was bound by ethical rules to give Michael a zealous defense, even he was guilty as sin. That was always the hardest part of my job, even though, usually, if a person was guilty, I could just plead him out. I could possibly plead out Michael, too, if I thought that he was guilty.
Yet I wanted to try the case. I wanted to try it and see the jury stand up and find him guilty. If that happened, I would derive immense satisfaction. If I pled him out, it wouldn’t have the same effect. I wanted him to be humiliated in front of the jury and the people in the courtroom and the media, which was ramping up interest in this case.
If I pled him out, it would just be me, the prosecutor and the judge in the courtroom. That wouldn’t be as fun for me.
I shook my head as I made my way to my car. Fun for me. I was going to have fun if the jury found him guilty. What kind of person was I? My psyche was tangled up, so haywire, and I didn’t know which way was up.
One thing that I did know, however – my investigation was going to be geared towards eliminating possibilities, not trying to find if Michael didn’t do it. I wanted to make sure that I crossed every T and dotted every I, so that I could prove to myself that Michael was guilty.
I started with going downtown to the police department to talk to the cops on the scene. I would also talk to Christina Sanders to find out what the relationship was between Michael and Judge Sanders. That was important to me, because I knew that there was some reason why the cops were so quick to arrest Michael for the crime. Yes, he was on the scene. But he called the police. Since he called the police, why was he so quickly suspected of killing the judge?
I also wanted to talk to Christina, because I had a suspicion about her, as well. She was one of the people that I wanted to eliminate.
I went to the police department. I had previously made an appointment to see Officer Murphy, who was one of the officers on the scene. I wanted to talk to him and get a feel for why it was that he was so quick to make an arrest.
“Hello, Harper,” Office Chris Murphy said when I went to the police headquarters to see him. “It’s great to see you.”
“You too, Chris,” I said. He offered me a donut and I politely took one and started to eat it. “I guess you know why I’m here.”
“Of course. You wanted to talk to me about that Michael Reynolds case.” He took a bite of his donut. “That was a bad deal, I tell you what.”
I brought out my trusty yellow pad and pen and prepared to make notes. “It was. But tell me about it. You arrested him on the scene. Why? He told you that an intruder must have killed Judge Sanders, and that he was not home when the judge was killed. He basically got there and found the judge dead. Y
et you and your partner didn’t even hesitate to arrest him. There must be some reason for doing that.”
Chris nodded his head. “There was, Harper. He was the person on the scene. Plus, his story didn’t quite add up. And he strikes me as being slick, that one. I’ve seen rich assholes like that in my life, and they’re usually up to no good.”
I sighed. This wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear that Officer Murphy had a better reason for arresting Michael, but it seemed that he didn’t. Unfortunately, everything he said to me, every reason he gave me for arresting Michael didn’t seem to pass muster. It could all be explained away perfectly.
“Officer Murphy,” I said, addressing him formally, even though the two of us were friends. “If he killed the judge, then he probably wouldn’t have called the police when he found his father-in-law. He’s smart enough to not be so obvious, don’t you think?” I shook my head and took another bite of the donut. This wasn’t going well.
“Well, that’s right, unless he’s going to go the other way with it.” He pointed at me. “There’s a kind of reverse psychology that these people use with us all the time. They try to be really obvious, for the same reason you just said – they think that they’ll never be suspected because they called us to the scene. It’s just as likely that he did it and tried to make us think that he didn’t, because he was just too obvious as it is that he didn’t do it.”
That made sense to me. I had actually experienced just that sort of thing – I represented people in the past who admitted to me that they did it, even though their actions were similar to Michael’s. They would call the police, yet they were guilty. So it did make sense that some criminals would go the reverse-psychology route and make the cops think that they didn’t do it because they were too obvious about it.
Justice Denied - A Harper Ross Legal Thriller Page 8