Maybe it was all just a sick kind of reverse psychology again. Just like I suspected that Michael didn’t kill the judge because he called the police, maybe the same principle worked when Michael told me that his father-in-law was sick. Maybe he figured that I wouldn’t suspect him of poisoning his father because he was open about his father’s sickness. It would have looked as if he had something to hide if he didn’t tell me about Judge Sanders being sick, but I found it out later on independently.
This could all just be a game.
Sixteen
The next day, I wanted to dig into everything I learned from Anita, but, unfortunately, Rina stopped me from doing any of that. I got a call from her school – I was commanded to pick her up. She had been suspended for fighting in the schoolyard.
As much as I wanted Sophia to tend to this little crisis, I knew that it wasn’t her duty to do so. It was mine. I was the guardian, soon to be the adoptive mother. I was going to have to deal with it all on my own.
It’s not a big deal. God knew I was suspended more than once when I was in school. Once for fighting, and once for smuggling in a flask of alcohol. Yes, I was that kid. The kid who started trouble. I even had purple hair, just like Anna had now. I gave my parents so much grief…Now, I guess it was my turn. I gave my parents Hell, now Rina was doing it to me.
Turnabout is fair play, after all.
I went up to her school, parking right in front, and went into the main building. Her private school was situated on acres of land in Leawood, Kansas. This was a school where the millionaires sent their children, and it cost me an arm and a leg to foot the bill. I was determined that I was going to foot that bill, though, because I wanted Rina and Abby to have the best education. I wasn’t a millionaire, of course – far from it. But the girls didn’t have their mother, so, in a way, my sending them to this fancy school was my way of making that up to them. I never could get over the guilt that they didn’t have their mother because of me.
I probably never would.
She was sitting in the office of the headmaster, her arms crossed in front of her. Her little legs were swinging back and forth, back and forth, underneath the chair. She saw me and she glared and then looked away.
I shook my head. She was going to give me attitude, and I wasn’t going to be having that. “I’m going to go and talk to the headmaster,” I told her. “I’ll be right out.”
She shrugged her shoulders and said nothing at all.
I went into the headmaster’s office after she summoned me in there. She motioned to me to sit down, which I did.
She grimaced as she looked at me. “I’m so sorry that you had to come down here,” she said. “This obviously isn’t the best of circumstances.”
“No, it never is, is it? Parents aren’t summoned to the principal’s office unless there’s something going on that’s not so good. What did she do?”
“She got into a fight,” she said. “I’ve spoken with the other girl who was involved in this, and the family of that girl. I’ve also spoken with Rina. Now I’m talking to you.” She looked out the window, as if she was afraid to tell me what she needed to tell me.
“Okay,” I said. “She got into a fight. What was the fight about?”
“How much did you tell the girls about how you came into their lives?” she asked me.
My heart started to pound and a knot formed in my stomach. “I got into contact with their social worker and she agreed that I could be their guardian, so I petitioned the court and they came to live with me. That was what happened originally. Then they were taken from my house, because the guardian ad litem on that case didn’t approve of my adopting them, and-“
She shook her head. “I understand the guardianship process,” she said. “That wasn’t what I asked, however.” Her eyes were on me. They seemed accusing, although I was sure that I was imagining that. “I was wondering if you ever sat down with the girls and explained why it was that you were interested in them.”
I knew what she was getting at, and I was ashamed. I was ashamed that I never told the girls the truth. I never told them that I was the attorney for the man who killed their mother. I never explained that John Robinson, their mother’s killer, never would have been free if it weren’t for me. The time never seemed right to tell them that. I meant to. I really did. But the time just never seemed right. Never seemed right.
I guessed that I hoped that I would never have to face it. That maybe somehow, someway, we could live our lives together without them ever finding that out. I knew that wasn’t realistic, but it was my fantasy.
I felt as if I was facing a boss who was angry with me and trying to get answers from me about what I did wrong. I didn’t like that feeling, to say the very least. “What do you know about why it was I became interested in them?” I was stalling. I didn’t want to answer her questions.
“Well,” she said and then paused. “I don’t really know. I only know that Rina got into a fight with a student by the name of Brianna Leigh, and Rina has been crying ever since. I’ve talked to Rina, asked her about why it was she and Brianna got into a fight, and she said that Brianna said something to her that made her extremely angry.”
I dreaded to hear just what it was that Brianna said to Rina, but I knew that I had to hear it. “Go on. What was this horrible thing?”
“Brianna told Rina that you defended her mother’s killer. However, I don’t think that that’s correct. I remember reading about the murder of Rina and Abby’s mother, and I distinctly recall that he was defended by a man. Or he’s being defended by a man. That case is still pending, from what I understand.”
“It is. It’s going to be tried in the spring.”
“Right. But you aren’t on the case, are you?”
I looked out the window. “No. I’m not. I would never defend that…man. Never.”
She nodded her head. “Well, then, maybe Brianna was incorrect.”
“No. She’s not.”I sighed, feeling that familiar white-hot knot forming in my stomach. “I did defend their mother’s killer. He was a client of mine earlier. He was accused of murdering his business partner. I got him off on a technicality. So, in a way, I’m responsible for their mother being killed. That was probably what Brianna was talking about.” I looked down at my lap, not wanting to meet her eyes. I felt shamed. Shamed by what she was surely thinking about me, and shamed by what I was thinking about myself.
“Oh, I see.” She nodded. “That was what Brianna was talking about. I think that you’re going to have to go ahead and have that conversation with your girls. Rina already knows, and I’m quite sure that she has probably already texted Abby about it. I don’t want to lay judgment on you, so please don’t misunderstand. But I’m curious as to why you never told them the truth earlier. They were bound to find out sooner or later.”
I sighed. “I didn’t want to lose them. I don’t know, I guess I’ve been living in a bubble of my own making. I’ve been wanting to believe that somehow the topic would just never come up and they would never have to know the truth.”
She nodded her head and sat back in her chair. “You’re not alone in dealing with unpleasant things. People, in general, want to put bad things off and pretend that the bad thing isn’t going to come back around on them. Don’t feel bad about that. But trust me, it’s always better to get on top of things. When you don’t, they come out in other ways, and everything is that much worse.”
I knew that. She didn’t have to tell me that. It didn’t change the fact, however, that, as she said, it was human nature to avoid bad things. She was also correct, unfortunately, that when you avoid bad things, they just get much worse.
I stood up. “Thank you Ms. Hayden,” I said. “I’ll just have to have a talk with my girls.”
I went into the waiting room, where Rina was sitting. She looked up at me and glared and then looked away.
I held out my hand. “Let’s go,” I said. “I know that we need to talk. We’ll talk when we get home.
”
She shook her head. “No. I’m not going anywhere with you. I’ve already called Abby, and she agrees. I’m calling our social worker next. Danny O’Hare. I’m going to tell him that me and Abby can’t stay with you one day longer. We’ll go back to the girls’ home, but we’re okay with that. We won’t stay with a murderer.”
“Rina, please, let’s just go home and talk about this. We’ll get some pizza, your favorite kind, and we’ll talk about it.”
“Now you want to talk to us about it. Now? What about the first time you met us at the girls’ home? Before we ever came to stay with you?” She shook her head. “All this time, I thought that you brought me and Abby to your house because you loved us. Turns out that’s not true at all. You brought us in because our mom would be alive if it weren’t for you.”
Her words stabbed me in the heart and I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. She was right, absolutely right, and there was nothing that I could say in my defense. Any words I had would sound hollow in my ears, so they were really going to ring hollow in Rina’s ears.
“Rina,” I said. “I know that you’re angry, but I’m your guardian. You’re my charge. Abby is too. You can’t just not come home with me. You have to come with me.”
“No I don’t. I’m calling Danny to ask him to take me and Abby away and put us into the girls’ home until they can find somebody else. I can’t stay with you. I can’t stay with somebody who would do something like you did. I mean, how can you defend a man like that, Harper?”
I sighed and squatted down so that I was eye to eye with her on her chair. “Rina, I didn’t know that he would do something like that. And it’s my job.”
“Your job? Your job is getting scumbags off so that they can get right back out there and do it again. That’s your job, Aunt Harper, and I was wrong when I told you that I want to know what you do. I don’t anymore. I would never want to do something like that.” Her arms were crossed and her little legs were still swinging back and forth.
I stood up. “Rina, you’re not going to get in touch with Danny tonight. For now, at least, you’re in my custody. I have to take you home.”
“No. I’m not going home with you and you can’t make me.” She balled up her fists and her face got red. “You can’t make us come home with you. Abby’s with me.” She motioned to the door, and there was Abby coming through it.
Abby didn’t say anything, but came up to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. “Aunt Harper, say it’s not true. Say you didn’t represent that awful man who killed our mom. Please, Aunt Harper. Tell me it’s not true.”
“It is true, Abby,” Rina said, “and I know it’s true because I just asked her about it and she’s not denying it. She’s not denying it, Abby, so we know that it’s true.”
“Is that why you wanted us?” Abby asked. “Because you felt guilty? You felt bad? You knew that our mother wouldn’t have been murdered if it weren’t for you? Is that why?”
“No, of course not. I became your guardian because…” I was going to lie to the girls, in a way. Abby and Rina were right – if it weren't for that John Robinson thing, I wouldn’t have the girls in my home. I never had the desire to become a foster parent, much less an adoptive parent, and I did originally take the girls in out of a sense of obligation. However, although it started out that I wanted the girls because I felt obligated, I couldn’t deny that I needed to keep them for a much different reason.
I needed to keep them because I loved them. I bonded with them. They had become a part of me. If I lost them, it would be like I lost a limb. So, I was just going to have to go ahead and lie to them.
“Why?” Rina demanded. “Go on, Harper, why did you become our guardian? Why?”
“I was interested in fostering children and I met the two of you and I knew that you were the ones who were meant for me.”
“Bullshit!” Rina shouted. “Stop lying, Aunt Harper, please. Just stop lying to us. We’re not dumb. That doesn’t make any sense at all – that you randomly wanted to foster a child and you somehow, someway, picked out the two girls who were orphaned because of what you did. Gee, what a coincidence.” She crossed her arms and tapped her feet and glared at me. “We may be only 11, going to be 12 soon, but we’re not stupid, Aunt Harper. We know the truth. You only came for us because you felt responsible for the fact that we no longer have a mother. Admit it. Just admit it.”
“That’s not true,” I said weakly, but I knew that I was defeated. “Okay, that was true at first. That was the original motivation for taking the two of you in. But, I swear, I’m only keeping you in my home because I love you both very much. I’m only adopting you because I love you both. I hope that you believe me about that.”
“We don’t,” Rina said, standing up and stomping her feet. “We don’t believe you about that. How can we believe anything you say anymore, Aunt Harper, when you lied to us all along?”
“I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell you the whole truth.” I felt shamed and embarrassed and frightened that the girls were really going to leave. Not that they had that choice. Obviously, they couldn’t just up and leave. There would have to be hearings, and there was no way that the social worker was going to take them from me because of this. I knew that there was no way that the girls were going to be allowed to leave. Rina obviously thought that she was going to, but I knew better.
“You didn’t tell us the whole truth? That’s the same as lying. That’s the same thing. Our teachers always tell us that’s the same thing. You must think that we’re stupid, Aunt Harper.”
“No, I never think that you’re stupid.”
The headmaster, Ms. Hayden, came out of her office. “I’m going to have to leave soon,” she said. “Is there anything that I can help you with, Ms. Ross?”
“No,” I said. “We’re just leaving.”
Rina reluctantly got to her feet and I inwardly sighed with relief. I tried to grab her hand, but she refused to give her hand to me. I put my arm around her shoulders, but she literally shrugged my arm off.
Abby grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly. “Aunt Harper, I forgive you. I know that you were only doing your job. Rina will get over it, too.”
How could Abby forgive me so quickly? If I were in the same position as the girls, I would have acted just like Rina. What I did was unforgivable, full stop. I was grateful that Abby was so fine with it, but I didn’t feel as if I deserved her forgiveness.
“Stop it, Abby,” Rina says. “You can’t just forgive her just like that. She’s the reason why we lost our mother. She is.”
“Rina, if Aunt Harper didn’t take on John Robinson, somebody else would have. She was just doing her job.”
Rina walked rapidly on ahead, dramatically flinging open the door of the office suite and then running down the hallway and, just as dramatically, flinging open the door of the school. I quickened my pace, afraid that I was going to lose track of her. Abby was still holding onto my hand, so the two of us practically ran out the door of the school.
I felt a sense of relief when I saw my car and saw Rina standing beside it, her backpack on the ground.
I got to my car and opened up the door, and the two girls got in – Abby got in readily, but Rina got in only reluctantly. I sat in the driver’s seat and Abby was next to me in the passenger seat – ordinarily, both girls sat in the back, but Abby chose to sit next to me. Rina continued to stand outside the car, looking around, and I kept checking on her, making sure that she didn’t bolt.
She finally, finally, opened up the back door and slid into the car. She buckled her seat and I put the car into drive and drove out of the parking lot.
“So, Aunt Harper,” Abby was saying. “You were talking about maybe getting me a flute this weekend. Are we still going to go shopping? There’s a music store that some of the kids are telling me about. It’s kinda on the Plaza, nearby the Plaza. I’m really excited to start learning how to play a flute.”
I chuckled, happy that at least one of my
girls didn’t hate me. “Of course. I said that I would take you to get a flute this weekend, and I’m as good as my word. I hope that you’re going to be better at playing the flute than I was. I’m sure you will be. You seem like you’re musically inclined.”
“She’s not,” Rina said. “She’s a terrible singer and she has awful taste in music, too.”
“Rina,” I said. “That’s not nice to say. She hasn’t even gotten a new instrument and you’re already downing her.”
“It’s okay, Aunt Harper,” Abby said. “I’m just going to have to show her that I’m serious about this. I don’t know how to play an instrument yet, but I’ve always wanted to learn.”
“Ha. Don’t believe her, Aunt Harper, about that. She only wants to join the band because she likes a boy in there. His name is James Arness, and he plays the trumpet. Trumpet players are gross. They take that tube out and their spit gets all over the floor. James is gross.”
I suppressed a smile. “Rina, if Abby wants to join band because she wants to get to know a boy, then that’s her prerogative. As long as she enjoys being in the band, it’s not my business why she wants to learn how to play the flute.”
“Thank you, Aunt Harper,” Abby said. “And I don’t want to join the band for James.” She looked out the window. “I mean, I like him. He doesn’t know that I’m alive, but I like him.”
“That’s right, Aunt Harper,” Rina said. “She likes that boy and she’s going to join the band for no other reason than the fact that she wants to see him every day. That’s a bad reason for joining, Aunt Harper. She’s going to quit and you’re going to buy her a flute for nothing.”
“Now, Abby, how do you know that he doesn’t know that you’re alive?”
Justice Denied - A Harper Ross Legal Thriller Page 13