by Jill Snow
“You must miss them?” she asked.
“I do but this was too good an opportunity to pass up. Plus, I can’t wait for my kids to see where they’ll live. This place is so amazing. You have the best of both worlds, the lakes and mountains and the wide-open spaces.”
She smiled at his enthusiasm. He was nice to speak to. He asked her more questions over lunch, mainly about why she hadn’t had a realtor look over the property. She answered the question as diplomatically as possible. She didn’t want to say she didn’t trust the firm, as they seemed too close to the bank, but he read through her answer.
“I have a friend coming to see me this weekend. Maybe we could take a look at the place together. Roger is a realtor. He specializes in other types of property, but he would have a good idea of the value. Then you can call the local guys to check.”
“That would be great, thank you, Jake.” She happened to look out the window and caught Adam staring at the two of them. She waved but he just gave her a cold look and walked away. He must have gone to the hospital but how? He wasn’t allowed into town alone.
“Is there a problem?” Jake asked.
“No. Just a misunderstanding. I’ll sort it out later.”
Jake was an amusing lunch partner. Clearly besotted with his wife and kids, he showed her pictures of them and where they had lived. “I love my in-laws but I don’t like living with them. We want our own space, you know?”
“Sure do. I still live with my parents .”
“Any idea what you’ll do when you sell your home?” Jake asked. “My wife won’t have any friends when she comes here and I think you two would get along.”
“You know, I haven’t given it much thought. I guess I was too busy dealing with everything else. I’m not even sure whether my parents want to stay in town. Mom does but dad’s talked some about going back to the east coast where he grew up.”
“Oh well, I hope for my family’s sake you stay close by. I’ll call you when Roger gets here to sort out a time for the visit. In the meantime, I’ll check with the bank and go over your accounts to see if we can buy some time on the bankruptcy hearing.”
“Thanks, Jake. How do you want to be paid? I can give you a small retainer now and pay you after everything is done. Is that alright?”
“Sure. I’ll get Jill, my secretary, to send you the bill. I would do it but if I mess with her system, she gets rather upset.”
Ashley smiled. She couldn’t imagine anyone getting upset with Jake. He was a nice guy and, for a split second, she envied his wife. It would be lovely to have someone who adored her like that. She wanted children and a happy marriage but often found it hard to believe that could happen. But seeing Jake today had made her feel more optimistic.
Chapter 38
Adam stormed around the ranch like a demon. Nobody spoke to him, the look on his face was enough to drive them off. Why had he gone to the hospital for a check-up anyway? If he had stayed on the ranch, he wouldn’t have seen Ashley at the restaurant.
How could she kiss him one day and spend the next cozying up to another guy? He’d watched her giggling at things he said and reaching over to look at photos. Were they of the two of them together? Had she had a boyfriend all this time? Just like Camilla, he was someone she thought she could play with.
He kicked a stone out of his way, wishing he could leave. He wanted to go home and never set foot in the US again. He would give up his green card. Buy a house and a dog. Dogs were faithful.
Ashley sought Adam out sometime later. “You alright?”
“Fine thanks.” Adam turned back to his work.
“Listen, about lunch. I know you saw me.”
“Who you see in your own time has nothing to do with me,” he said.
“True, but you seemed upset,” Ashley said. “I wanted to tell you, I did what you suggested.”
“What?”
“I went to see an accountant. He was really nice.”
“Yes, it was obvious you liked him.”
“Oh shut up and listen.” She rolled her eyes at him. “Jake is a happily married man newly arrived in Cloud Water. He’s going to help me with the bankruptcy thing. His friend is a realtor who’s going to appraise the ranch. And it’s all because of you and your suggestion. So thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Adam, why are you giving me attitude? I haven’t done anything wrong.”
“As I said, it has nothing to do with me.” He walked away but she pulled him by the arm.
“Seriously? You’re throwing a tantrum. The least you could tell me is why?”
He pulled her to him and kissed her, fiercely on the lips. She put her hands on his chest. He was about to pull away, but she kissed him back. He wrapped both his arms around her, cursing his injured hand silently. He held the back of her neck with his good hand as their kiss continued. She smelled wonderful, reminding him he probably smelled of animal dung given his previous chores. He pulled back a little.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t, I mean…”
She kissed him again. “I’m not. That was good. Though next time, we might not want the audience.”
He looked up, hoping she was wrong and the ranch hands weren’t all staring at them. But all he saw were cattle.
“Ha, got you,” she teased.
“Ashley, you are a tantalizing witch.” He pulled her closer again and kissed her gently. “I’m sorry for being a jealous twit earlier.”
“I like jealous. Not too often, but it’s nice to know you care.”
“I care. Believe me. I do.”
She edged away from him, wrapping her arms around her middle. Could she trust him?
“Adam, this is hard but you need to know. I haven’t dated many guys. None since Kayleigh died. I like you but…I find it hard to trust people. I made a mistake before and it cost me everything I valued.”
“I understand some of what you mean. We’ll take this at whatever pace you want Ashley.” He pushed the hair out of her face with his good hand. “I swear I’ll try my best not to hurt you. I like you. A lot.”
She smiled. “Me too. Now if you don’t mind, you should really take a shower before dinner. You kind of stink.”
“Well talk about bringing me back to earth with a crash,” he said, smiling. She smiled back. Maybe life was looking up for a change.
Chapter 39
After their shift ended the next day, Ashley took Adam to see her parent’s ranch. He had seen the house but she wanted him to see the land. Where she and Kayleigh had played as children. Where she dreamed her kids would also play someday.
He might as well know from the start who she was. There was no way any woman’s magazine would be lining up to photograph her on their cover.
“It’s big,” he said when they got there. “Much bigger than I expected. For some reason, I thought it would be just the house and about half an acre.”
“I told you I lived on a ranch. Not much ranching done in a place that small.”
He held her hand as they walked. She pointed out various things to him and then came to a stop as they reached the large trees near the river.
“Is that a treehouse?”
“Yes, Kayleigh and I used to play down here in the summer. Dad built it for us. Want to see it?”
“Sure.”
“Can you manage with your hand?”
“I can if you help me,” he grinned at her. “I am fine but it gives me an excuse to keep holding your hand.”
He was trying to make her laugh and she thanked him for it. She hadn’t been up in the treehouse since Kayleigh died. Why had she suggested showing it to him?
“Wow, it’s bigger than it looks. You girls were lucky.”
Ashley moved closer to the bookstand her dad had carved into one of tree limbs. It only held four books. They were still in good condition.
“We were. Dad was always doing nice things for us. Kayleigh didn’t appreciate the books though. Dad was always trying to get her to read.
Said it would widen her horizons but she figured they were wide enough already.”
She fingered the books and then spotted Kayleigh’s cup. It was one she had gotten when opening an Easter egg as a kid. She refused to use it once she was a teenager but kept it in the tree house as a memento. Ashley’s eyes filled with tears.
“You doing ok?”
“I miss her. Some days are better than others. But sometimes it feels like she died yesterday.”
He pulled her close and held her as she let the tears fall. He didn’t say a word but waited for her sobs to subside.
“Sorry, your shirt is all wet.”
“It will dry.” He kissed the top of her forehead. “I am sorry you had to go through this. Life is so unfair.”
She couldn’t speak. She stared into the distance trying to pull herself together.
“What do you use the land for now?” Adam asked in a rather obvious attempt to change the subject.
“Nothing really.” She frowned. “Which is a real pity. Dad could rent it to some local ranchers, but he can’t bear to see any animals on it. He dreams of replacing his own herd but that’s never going to happen.”
“What will he do if you sell this place?”
“I don’t know. It all depends on Mom. I guess dad wants to get away from the memories.”
“What was your family like before Kayleigh died?”
“You mean were we normal? We were just the same as every other ranching family. But we pulled together. We saw what we thought were some tough times. We had a couple of hiccups, but Mom and Dad were strong then. They relied on each other and they made it through. Then the herd was destroyed. We thought that was the worst that could happen. But it was only the start. I …”
Her voice trailed off and as he watched, her face contorted with pain.
“Ashley you don’t need to talk about it. Want to head back? Loretta made a pie this evening.”
Her stomach twisted into knots making breathing painful and difficult. Sweat ran down the back of her neck. She needed to tell him but what if he rejected her. Blamed her just like her mom did.
“No, I need to tell you. It was my fault Kayleigh died.”
“How are you responsible?”
“I introduced her to Scott. I thought he was so cool. You know, the kid in town everyone wants to be with him. That was Scott. He was danger with a capital D but I was too stupid to see it. Mom and Dad banned him from the house, but I used to sneak out to see him. One night Kayleigh came too. She wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
“Ashley, you were a kid. It wasn’t your fault.”
“Yeah, it was. If I had listened to Mom, I would have stayed home. Kayleigh would never have met Scott. They became inseparable after that. Kayleigh skipped school to see him. Every chance she got, she was with him. There were rumors about drugs, but I didn’t think she would be that stupid. I was wrong.”
“How did she die?”
“They both got high at some party. He decided to drive his motorbike home. She was on the back. They didn’t stand a chance.”
He put his arms around her as she sobbed her heart out. “It isn’t your fault Ashley, none of it. Kayleigh made her own decisions.”
“She was barely sixteen. I should have protected her.”
“But you couldn’t. You didn’t know what choices she would make. You weren’t much older yourself. Kayleigh wasn’t a child, like Gracie or David. She wasn’t old either, but at sixteen she knew the risks.”
Ashley pulled away from him. “I don’t understand you. You act so kind and you were brilliant with the children but then I remember why we met. I know you’ve told me you weren’t involved with the drug smuggling but how did you come to be on the ranch. Someone you knew could have brought the drugs that killed my sister into this country. What am I doing? What am I thinking?”
“It’s not like that. It—”
“Don’t tell me it’s not the same. That it was some Mexican drug lord who’s responsible for the drugs. Drugs are drugs. Doesn’t matter what you call them. They kill and destroy people’s lives. How could you become involved with something like that?” She didn’t give him a chance to answer but climbed down out of the treehouse.
Chapter 40
This was harder than he ever thought possible. Lying just didn’t come naturally to him. Detective Andersen had made him swear to keep everything a secret. He couldn’t break that promise not even for Ashley.
“It wasn’t me, Ashley. I can’t tell you the whole story, but you have to believe me. It isn’t like it seems.”
She stared at him as if trying to read his mind. He wanted to tell her, but he couldn’t. It could put her in danger and that was the last thing he wanted to do.
“Ashley, I know I am asking a lot, but I need you to trust me. That’s all I can say for the moment. But in a few weeks or months, I’ll be able to explain everything. For now all I can tell you is that it was someone I was close to.”
“A girl?”
“Not just any girl. I thought she was the one. You know. I thought we were meant to be together forever.”
Stupid idiot. What did he have to say that for?
“I was stupid, Ashley. I didn’t know what we had was like fool’s gold. Worthless. The way I felt about Camilla is nothing like the way I feel about you.”
She walked away from him, her arms wrapped around her body. He was losing her.
“Ashley, please. Trust me.”
“I can’t. Sorry, but I just can’t. How can you trust someone who has just admitted the person they were in love with smuggled drugs? You knew what she was doing didn’t you?”
Tempted to lie, he looked at her. She was staring at him intently.
“Yes I did. At least I suspected she was.”
“I see.”
Those two words summed up everything. He knew by her tone, they were finished.
He hadn’t any words to answer. Silently she headed toward her car. He followed, his shoulders slumped. They drove back to the Double R in silence.
He opened the car door. “Thanks for the lift home. Please don’t give up on me. On us.”
She didn’t answer but stared straight ahead. He’d lost her already.
Chapter 41
Ashley was late again. This time there was nobody to blame but herself. She couldn’t handle facing Adam. Her eyes hurt as she looked at the sun high up in the sky. Her life was falling apart and yet everyone else was enjoying one of the warmest days of spring so far. She had some errands to run for Loretta and everywhere she went people were smiling. The sun brought out the happiness in everyone. Except her. Her heart was frozen. It was just a big, thick lump of ice heavy in her chest.
“You took your time,” Mack commented as she walked up to him, carrying Loretta’s groceries.
“Let me put these in the kitchen,” she said. “We need to talk.”
“Oh, you heard already? Darn it, I wanted to be the one to tell you.”
Mystified, she stared at him but he had his back to her. Hurriedly she dumped the groceries on the kitchen table, putting those that could spoil in the refrigerator. Minutes later she was back outside with Mack.
“Heard what?”
“The school.”
“What about the school?”
“They bought a new ranch. It’s in the next county but they want you to manage it for them. Said to call them if you were interested.”
She slumped against the wall. “Me?”
“No. Henry. Of course you! This is the chance you’ve been waiting for. You get away from here and back to the job you were born for. You’re a marvel with those kids.”
“But I can’t move away. Mom. My dad. They need me.”
“Your parents are grown-ups. They can look after themselves. I am not trying to be harsh, Ashley. This is your chance. You should grab it with both hands. You need to break free of this place. Your past. Live your life.”
“But I don’t want to leave you and Charity and
my friends and Kayleigh.”
“Kayleigh lives in your heart girl, you know that. Charity and I will still be here. You need a new focus. You got to spread your wings and make a life for yourself. Not anyone else. But you.”
Ashley couldn’t think straight. It was all she’d ever wanted, to work with special needs children and animals. She believed the therapy they could offer would help almost any child achieve more than they ever thought they were capable of. But she hadn’t banked on having to leave Cloud Water. This was her home, the only place she had ever lived. She liked living here with the small community. She loved the fact everyone knew everyone else. Sure, the gossip was an issue at times but that was a small price to pay for the fact that everyone had your back.
“Is it Adam? Is he the reason you’re hesitating?”
“No Mack. There is no Adam. Well, not in my life. That was a fantasy, it was never going to work.”
“Pity, as from where I’m standing you make a good couple. You bring out the best in one another.”
“We don’t know each other. When does the school want an answer?”
“I got the impression they were in a hurry, which is why they spoke to me when they couldn’t get you on your cell. Why don’t you head into town and talk to them directly? They can give you more details.”
“I am already late. I have chores to do.”
“Let me worry about them. You go. Listen to what they say, but while you’re listening, look out for what your heart is telling you too. Okay?”
“Thanks, Mack.” Ashley hugged the man who had been more like a father to her since Kayleigh’s accident than her own dad. “You’re the best.”
“Now don’t be telling anyone that. Don’t want you ruining my image as a hard taskmaster. Us cowboys are tough.”
Ashley hugged him close again, not able to talk past the lump in her throat. If she did take the new job, leaving Mack behind would be one of the hardest things.