He had no idea how Danni was feeling about the information she’d received. Finding out she was adopted was a subject he’d attempted to talk with her about several times, only to be told it was too much to think about at the moment. After the turnover, she’d deal with it. But he knew it weighed heavily on her mind. Had she been told as a child, her life would have been different. Matteo had never wanted her to feel out of place, Maria had told him privately one evening. But to Felice, it was one final blow to the child she felt ruined her life, so she’d ruin Danni’s.
As to losing everything she’d grown up thinking was her legacy, including her heritage, he had no way to determine what that made her feel like. Maybe she’d try to find her biological mother, maybe she wouldn’t. The worst maybe that he’d never see her again. While all this jumbled inside him, the sun set. Only seeing the truck lights in his driveway made him pull himself together. He knew she went to the kitchen door, could hear her and Carmen talking. Nico didn’t want to interrupt their moment together. He could hear Maria’s voice in the mix, some laughing, and then she lightly knocked on his office door.
“I hear you’ve been brooding all day.”
He turned to find her in the doorway, wearing old, washed-out jeans and work boots. The soft beige of her T-shirt made her brown eyes look darker. Her hair was braided down her back, so different from how she’d looked the last time he’d seen her, with her hair twisted up off her neck and the business suit she’d worn. It passed through him earlier that he’d rarely seen her in a skirt, let alone in heels, looking so professional. Now she was back to herself. Her eyes were red, her face puffy from one last round of tears with Carmen and Maria. But her smile hit directly in his gut.
“Come in. I assume you’ve seen Maria?”
“And Carmen. I’ve said all my good-byes. To the land and the horses, to the people I’ve loved all my life.”
Nico felt his throat constrict and he had to turn away. From the desk drawer he pulled her bank statement, placing it on the cleared desk top. He strode to the wall safe, removed the netsukes, and gently placed them on the desk beside the papers.
Danni looked at him carefully, choosing her words just as prudently. “These are all yours, Nico. I only want this one.”
With long, slim, graceful fingers, she lifted the Worship netsuke from its velvet-lined box, turned it over several times, and studied it carefully before she placed it back in the box. She put it to the side, slowly moving the rest of them back to his safe, dropping the bank statement along with them. Turning, he’d be hard-pressed not to notice she was waiting for him to confront her. Instead, he changed the dynamic.
“I’ll keep them safe until you’re ready to collect them one day.”
She laughed aloud, breaking the tension. “I’m going to miss you most of all, Nico. I’m resigned about the land and the rest of this whole mess. I’m even complacent at this point with finding out I’m adopted. I’ll miss the horses and the land, but you most of all. I realized in the last weeks that you are truly my best friend. Beyond being lovers, I’ve never had a better friend. Thank you for that.”
“Danni,” he said, feeling himself start to tear up. He couldn’t say anything else. His throat closed, and he let the tears roll down his cheeks. She moved to him quickly, throwing her arms around him, holding him tight.
“Damn it, Danielle. I don’t cry!” he told her as she pulled back and wiped his cheeks with the tips of her index fingers.
“I seem to be doing a lot of it lately. Sometimes it’s very cleansing in a strange way.”
She buried her head against his shoulder, and he pulled her closer. “Where will you go?”
“I’m not sure. Just away from here.”
“You’ll always have a home here, bella,” he managed to whisper.
Her hands moved his face toward hers. In her kiss, he felt her want, her need. He strove to make her feel safe, loved. “I do love you, Nico. If things had been different…”
“Things are what we make them. We can have a future together, Danni. Stay here, and live with me for a while if marriage scares you,” he said, hoping to change her mind. “Bella, I love you. I’ve never said those words to another woman. That’s got to stand for something.”
She only nodded against his shoulder. He felt his shirt getting damp and raised his left hand along her back, his strong fingers rubbing the back of her neck, holding her to him. They stayed locked in each other’s arms for what seemed like an eternity. For a while he thought she might change her mind, but when she pulled back, he knew she wouldn’t.
“I have to go,” she whispered, rising up to kiss each cheek.
“No, you don’t. You’re choosing to leave.”
“I have no other choice right now,” she said, pulling a tissue from her pocket, and managed to pull herself together. Turning with a rueful smile, her eyes were still glassy, as were his.
“Keep in touch?” he asked, hoping she wouldn’t punish him for what he now saw as his sins. “Don’t make me worry about you. Maria and Carmen will want to know you’re safe.” Again she only nodded. “Severino in Italy is still an option, don’t forget that. Vito would love to have you. He’ll pick your brain, and you’ll both probably come up with a new blend.”
She smiled, but bit her lip to keep from crying again. Slowly she moved toward the desk, hesitating to take the small box. When she lifted it in her hand, he knew it was all over. She wiped the rest of her tears away, forcing herself to stand tall. “I’ve got to go,” she whispered.
“All right, Danielle, but it’s late, it’s dark. Stay the night and leave in the morning.”
“I’d never leave, and we both know it. I have to go, Niccolo. It’s the right thing to do.”
“Bella…I’ll walk you out,” he said, stopping himself from begging her to stay.
“No, don’t.” Danni moved back into his arms for one last moment, and then pulled from him. “I’ll let you know I’m safe,” she said, but didn’t turn around. Nico watched from the window as she walked to the truck. Watching her hesitate one last time made him want to run out and stop her, or call her back. He did neither. He watched her take one more last long look at Casa Maria, then drive slowly away.
Danielle Cirillo drove slowly off Severino land and paused at the main road. She turned left, heading south. On the seat beside her lay her laptop, the globe Nico had given her, and the small box holding the netsuke. One battered leather bag was tossed on the floor of the passenger side, all she took with her. She had a few thousand dollars in her wallet, stuffed in the side pocket, money she’d earned growing up and put in an old bank account. She had options, she kept telling herself, now she had to pick one.
Nico had known sorrow in his life. But nothing had ever left him feeling this helpless and useless. He’d offered her all he had, but it wasn’t enough. All he could do was wait and hope that with a bit of time and perspective, she’d realize she belonged with him.
Chapter Fifteen
The next months were hell for Niccolo Severino. He knew he was a bear to live with and work for. He had a bad attitude with everyone, so much so that Maria actually went back to Italy for a month after the pruning was complete. She’d tried to talk to him several times, only to be rebuffed. The rest of his employees were keeping their distance. Even his damn horse seemed to shy away when he entered the stable, reluctantly taking his saddle and bit.
Since Danni had left, he’d gotten two e-mails. One about a week after she’d left, telling him she was safe but not where she was. Then there were two postcards, one with a postmark from Los Angeles, a second from Long Island, New York. The second e-mail was in late summer, a brief, carefully worded note telling him she was sorting things out.
She had really pissed him off just two weeks after she’d left. In the morning mail, he’d received papers from her bank. She’d transferred the balance of her trust into his name. When he called Ray Jansen at the bank, he’d been told she hadn’t left forwarding address, o
nly strict instructions about the change. Sam Parkins wasn’t giving out any information. Nico knew she’d been in touch. There were documents that had to be handled with the sale of the house and the auctions.
He’d had no social life since she left, and he’d stormed out of the house when Maria received a beautiful oyster plate on her birthday. For his birthday he received a case of wine from North Carolina, made from Muscadine grapes. A short note told him she was “okay, and to enjoy the wine.” He hadn’t opened a bottle yet. The case sat on the floor in the corner of his office, a constant reminder of her.
Only one project held his interest. The hillside acreage he’d promised her if she married him was carefully planted with the best olive trees he could find. He’d spent many hours learning about the process of making olive oil, ordering the best cold presses his money could buy, all neatly waiting in the new building constructed for that sole purpose. He knew it would be several years before the trees would mature to bear fruit. Their first pressing was seasons away.
He’d refrained from sending e-mails. In the beginning, he’d sent one every week. After two months, he stopped. It was obvious she wasn’t going to talk to him that way either. So he turned all his energy into the olives. In the evenings, he’d play around with options for what the label would look like, as well as the shape and color of the bottle. When he’d finally decided on both, he sent her an e-mail with the samples, hoping he’d hear from her. If she hated the design, it might prompt her to get in touch. She hadn’t, even though he’d drafted the label with the Cirillo name.
Her money was still sitting in the bank, earning interest, her name on the account, too. He’d told her that in an earlier e-mail, hoping she’d access the money if she needed it. So far, she hadn’t touched it. Nico toyed with the idea of hiring a private investigator to find her, but held back. What he did hire one for was to try to find Danielle’s birth mother. So far, there had been a lot of red tape and money spent with a lot of closed doors. Frustration was his general mode of life these days. There were cards for everyone at Christmas, the postmark from Canada.
He had no address to send her flowers for her birthday. Again, his only recourse was to use her e-mail to send her a birthday message. He’d thought over long and hard what to say and in the end, kept it simple. She was loved, and missed, and he hoped to see her soon.
As spring neared, he still had no enthusiasm for his vines. Pruning was due to start in a few weeks; he didn’t care. Yet, every day he rode out and checked the olive grove. Not much was happening, only he felt at peace there. One change he did notice was Maria. Since her second return from Italy, she was being seen in public with Coy Addams. They made an interesting couple. Most importantly, they seemed to make each other happy. Surprisingly, he didn’t begrudge her this happiness, rather took solace in the knowledge love could happen at any time in his life.
She had been acting strangely the last few days, much happier. She gave no reason, and he didn’t bother to inquire further. Even Carmen seemed to take on a different attitude. He heard them laughing in the kitchen a few times but they would always quiet down when he approached. He was beginning to feel like an outsider in his own home.
That was when he finally realized what an ass he was. If Danni didn’t want him, he couldn’t change her mind. But he wouldn’t throw away his life, too. Resigned, he decided that after the pruning was done, he’d take a vacation. It had been years since he’d been to Severino in Italy. Making the decision took some of the weight off his shoulders, but he knew deep inside, just because he changed his location for a short time, it wouldn’t change his heart.
His horse alerted him to another rider in the distance. Nico didn’t let himself believe it was really her. Yet, as her old horse approached, his heart filled, his palms went sweaty inside his gloves, and his stomach knotted, fearing disappointment if his eyes deceived him. Closer and closer, he knew deep inside Danni had returned. Now he had to find out why and for how long?
Nico lit one of his rarely smoked cigarillos from the pack and used it to distract himself from her approach. The options were too many to think about. Was she home for good or to say a last good-bye? He’d wondered through the months if she’d found another lover? If she’d let another touch her as she’d let him? If she’d found another life and was here just to tell him all about it? Nico recognized he was feeling fear. What was said in the next moments would change his life; good or bad was yet to be revealed.
She looked the same, only relaxed. Her hair was braided down her back, only the braid was longer. She still wore washed-out denim and work boots. Today, she had a denim jacket over a white T-shirt.
Slowing her horse as she approached, she paused to look at what he’d been surveying. Then she did a double and third take, realizing the hillside was now neatly planted with small but healthy-looking olive trees. Nico saw her eyes go glassy as she took several long, deep breaths.
“You really did it,” she said, sounding half amazed as she moved her horse nearer to him.
“I wouldn’t have designed the bottle…Why are you here?”
“Well, that’s a fine hello,” she said, smiling broadly.
He realized she’d known all along what her timing would be. He was the only one left in the dark. Now it made sense why Maria and Carmen were so happy the last few days.
“Are you really here or a figment of my imagination?” he whispered. She took the cigarette from his fingers and puffed lightly before handing it back.
“I’m real.” Her smile was so familiar, yet not seen in so long. “Can you spare me a few minutes? If you’re busy…”
“I can spare a few,” he started. “That’s what you’ve spared me in the last year. Two posts cards and two e-mails.” Even to himself his voice was tight. “And no return address, no phone calls.”
“You’re really pissed, aren’t you?” she said, settling back on her horse, lowering the brim of her old oilskin. “Don’t forget I sent Christmas cards and a birthday present.”
“How could I forget!” He drew a breath for control. “Why are you here now?”
“I figured you could use another pair of hands for pruning.”
“Ah,” he said, pulling his hat lower to cover his face. He was fighting himself. What he wanted to do was drag her off the horse and take her there on the ground, not let her up until she promised to never leave again. Suddenly he became embarrassed, remembering how he’d even cried in front of her that last day. “So you want to hire on?” He was trying to keep his anger in check but suddenly the whole year of angst was back with him, inside him, and she was the cause. “Did Tia Maria know you were coming?”
“Yes, I called her a few days ago, and before you go getting all cranky with her, I asked her not to tell you.” Danni paused, letting him digest her information. “She said she figured you could use another body, and it came with room and board.”
“Whose room?”
“I guess we’ve yet to determine that.”
“And after the pruning?”
“I figured I’d worry about it then. If this was a mistake, I can leave. I realize it’s been almost a year. Situations may have changed in your life.”
That was it, he’d hit his boiling point. Nico didn’t know whether to kiss her or wring her neck. He decided to kiss her first, and figure out the rest later. In a quick move he maneuvered his horse close, reaching out with one arm, dragging her off her horse and onto his lap. Up close, he studied her face and searched for some sign.
“If you plan on staying permanently, fine. If this is temporary, don’t bother.” He realized that with her on his lap, he wouldn’t let her go a second time.
Danni had been prepared for his attitude. She figured she’d earned it. Keeping her distance from him had been the most difficult thing she’d ever done. Worse than losing the label or her heritage, staying away from Nico had been the hardest. Stay calm, she kept repeating to herself. He’s earned his anger, let him work through it.
“Now, are you staying?”
“That depends,” she started, her carefully planned speech long gone from her memory.
“Don’t play games with me, Danielle. I’ve a mind to take you over my knee and spank some sense into you. It’s all or nothing. I can’t live in between anymore!”
“There are a few things I’d like to discuss with you.”
What she thought would be an opening line wasn’t received that way. He gently let her slip to the ground, holding her until she got her balance. “You came back for the netsukes. Maria can open the safe and get them for you. Your bank statement is there too, all back in trust for you. Take them, Danielle, and go.”
“I told you last year, the netsukes are yours. This is something different I wanted to discuss. But now I…”
“What?”
Danni had seen Niccolo in a snit before, but never directed at her. She realized how deeply she’d hurt him; she wasn’t strong enough for his anger. Maybe it was too late? Maybe coming back was a bad idea?
“Now I remember why people always referred to you as the dark dragon,” she said under her breath, but he heard her.
“Go back to the house, Danni. I’ll be back for supper. Visit with Maria and Carmen and settle in.” He turned his horse, riding deeper into the vineyard.
“Well, that didn’t go as I’d anticipated,” she said, pulling herself back onto the horse, heading back toward Casa Maria.
It was obvious when Danni returned to the house her meeting hadn’t gone as planned. Maria and Carmen were quick to remind her she knew her intentions for the last weeks, but for Nico, it was a surprise. The three women spent the afternoon in the kitchen, preparing their evening meal and hearing about Danni’s adventures in the past year. She deliberately didn’t bring in her suitcase, not sure which room to put it in. She could still save some dignity if Nico didn’t want her. To assume he’d want her back in his bed after being gone so long would be presumptuous. She washed up for supper in the downstairs guest bath. They heard Nico enter his wing from the side door while they were getting the table set on the patio.
Her Dark Dragon Page 16