"That would kill you, Katie." He took her empty coffee cup, walked to the wall and tossed both his and hers into the trash bin.
"But what about us?" She followed him. Mid-morning sun streamed through the window, picking out the blue in her eyes. "I don't want to give up. I want this to work. I can make it work."
He turned, gently cupped her shoulders. "You're killing yourself trying to make it work," he said quietly. "Right now, you shouldn't be worrying about anyone except Grace."
She stiffened. "Are you saying you've decided you don't want me?"
"No. I haven't decided anything like that."
"Then what -" Her chin lifted. "You don't trust me. Maybe you never will. At least be honest."
"I am, Katie." He shook her gently, looked straight into her eyes. "Listen to me. I want you in my life. If I didn't know that before yesterday, I for damn sure know it now, but not like this. When I told you I wanted total commitment from you, I didn't mean for you to tear yourself apart trying to make everyone happy."
She pulled away, her eyes stormy with denial. "You don't have to leave."
"I think that's the best way I can help." To keep from reaching for her, he rubbed at the lash of muscles in his neck. "You shouldn't have to feel torn between me and Grace. You should be focused on her."
"I am."
"Can't you see what you're doing? An hour with her. An hour with me."
She blinked, then shook her head. "That's compromise."
"No, Katie. I never should've given you an ultimatum that day at the creek. It wasn't fair." And now it had jumped up to bite him.
"This isn't right, either." She paced to the stairwell door, then back, worrying her lower lip with her teeth.
"When I said I wanted your total commitment, I didn't mean this."
"What did you mean then?"
"I never thought it would come to this, Katie. You should've have to choose, darlin'."
"I don't feel that I am," she said hotly, planting her hands on her hips.
He gave her a level look until finally she tossed her hands in the air. "Okay, maybe I do feel that way right now, but Grace is healing. What about afterward?"
"I have a lot of things I want to say to you. Need to say. But now's not the time. You've got too much on your shoulders right now. When Grace gets better, we'll talk. There's time enough for that then."
The anger drained out of her face; she looked at him sadly. "Will we be able to work this out?"
"I hope so."
Pain and uncertainty welled in her eyes. "Can I call you?"
"You'd better." He pulled her to him, folded his arms around her. He wanted to be there for her, but instead he was in the way.
Her arms tightened around him. He closed his eyes, savoring the feel of her against him, the silk of her hair tickling his jaw. He didn't want to go, but he couldn't stay. "How much longer do you think they'll keep Grace?"
"Maybe only another two days. I'll let you know."
He drew back, searched her face. "I'm counting on it."
She nodded, the vulnerability in her liquid blue eyes tugging at his heart. He dipped his head, covered her mouth with his. She rose on tiptoe, fitting herself tight against him. Her hand moved to his nape, pressed him closer. The kiss was long and slow, making it even more difficult to stick to his decision. He ached clear down to his toes.
She made a little sound and pulled away. Tears glimmered in her eyes. "I wish you weren't going."
"Me, too." That was the hell of it.
She framed his face in her hands. "We'll talk?"
"Definitely." Pulling her to him, he took her mouth again, devouring this time, intense and savage, frantic to possess her. She kissed him back with a desperation that clutched at his heart.
"You've got my cell phone number." He breathed against her forehead when they came up for air.
"Yes."
"And my office and home numbers."
"I'll call. Be careful. Will you let me know when you get home?"
"Yes."
He walked her to Grace's room then kissed her goodbye, wondering if it was for the last time. As he and Tommy drove away from the hospital, Rick couldn't help feeling as if he were leaving his future in that third-floor room. But he couldn't make her choose, even if it meant they would never be together.
Rick had left her. Two hours later, Katie stood at the single window in Grace' hospital room, wanting to hope, but uncertain. Her hands curled over the sill, painted the same misty green as the room. The walls, along with coordinating pastel floral prints above and across from Grace's bed, were chosen to soothe, but they couldn't calm Katie's churning thoughts.
Rick had said they would talk after this, that he had things to tell her. She hoped he wanted to tell her he loved her, that he wanted another chance with her, just as she did with him. But what if he wanted to tell her just the opposite?
Was this the end? He thought she couldn't balance her time between him and her family. She thought she'd been doing a pretty darn good job of it. The concern, the regret in his eyes as he'd said goodbye told her he really believed leaving was the best thing.
Eyes burning with fatigue, she stared at the sunshine, remembering the pain in his face, the possessive promise in his kiss. Had he been right about her? She could see how she had been meticulous about making sure neither Rick nor Grace felt slighted or ignored.
"Why don't you go after him?" Grace said from her bed.
Katie turned to look at her sister, still not used to the sight of Grace 's short, platinum hair. This was the first time Grace had ever said anything about a man she'd dated. "We have things to work out."
"Who doesn't." She fluttered a well-manicured hand, somehow managing to look demure in her hospital gown.
"She has a point, Katie." Sam Foster walked into the private room and eased down onto Grace's bed as he pulled a small carton of chocolate ice cream out of a brown paper bag.
Grace's eyes, the exact blue of their father's, lit up. She took the spoon from him and waggled at it Katie as she opened the carton. "You shouldn't give up on Rick."
Katie looked at her in surprise. Grace sounded more mature than she had ever heard.
"Rick made you happy, Katie. You two are a good fit. He's a doll, plus one gorgeous hunk of man. I don't know exactly what happened when you guys broke up, but if it was because of me--"
"It wasn't. Not exactly anyway."
"That plus your guilt over Mom's death?"
"Have you been going to a psychiatrist?" she joked.
"Ha. I just know how you are, and I know you've always felt responsible for what happened."
"How could I not?" She frowned. "If it weren't for me, you would've had your real mother, Grace."
"You lost your mother, too, sis. I see it as a loss, not something you stole from me. You didn't take Mom from me and you weren't responsible for her death. It could easily have been Dad or I in the car with her that day."
"Or no one," Sam put in quietly, his round features somber.
Grace nodded. "And for the record, I've never felt deprived of anything. I had you, didn't I?"
"Oh Grace." Katie's eyes burned. "Thank you."
"Thank you." Her sister reached out and took her hand. "That's a lifetime thank-yours, by the way."
Amazed and touched, Katie sank down on the corner of Grace's bed. "Why haven't we ever talked like this before?"
Grace popped another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. "You were too busy telling me what to do all the time."
"Oh, please." She noted how much improved her sister's color looked today; her blue eyes sparkled like they had before that awful confrontation at the cabin. "So, if I told you things were going to be different from now on, that I had to take a more hands-off approach to your life, you'd understand?" she hoped Grace said yes because it was really time. "I'm not abandoning you, sis. I just think we both need to stand on our own two feet."
"I hear that," her sister said without missing a
beat.
Katie's eyes widened. "Do you know what I'm saying? No more getting you out of jams, no more intervention in your jobs or with your boyfriends."
"I get it, sis. And I'm glad. I love you, Katie, but I know it's time for you to live your own life." She sobered. "It's time for you to stop trying to save me from mine."
"Oh, Grace, I've never felt that way." Katie reached out and took her sister's hand.
"I know." Grace's gaze was thoughtful. "But it's true all the same. I know what I've cost you. I know what a pain I've been and I'm going to do better."
Had her sister even been so reflective? So decisive? "Wow."
Sam Foster took both their hands in his big ones. "You girls have been the other's whole world for a long time. Your mom would be the first to tell you to build one of your own."
Katie smiled, nothing the pride and encouragement saw shining in his eyes. He'd been telling her the same thing for years, but since she had said goodbye to Rick today, the words took on new meaning, opened the door to a freedom she wanted to experience.
"You're right, Dad." Katie wasn't exactly sure how to proceed, but she would figure it out.
Grace gave her a level look. "I appreciate how you're always there for me, Katie, but you're the one who just told me things were going to be different. Get on with it."
"I will. As soon as we get you home and settled-"
"I can do all that, hon," her dad said. "Grace is coming along Dr. Darren said she'll probably be discharged in a couple of days."
"But won't you need-"
"Dad and I can manage just fine." Grace capped her ice cream and dropped the empty carton into the wastebasket beside her bed.
"Are you sure?" The possibility of leaving before her sister had never entered Katie's mind. Her heart urged her to go after Rick, but what if he needed more time? What if she did?
"We'd like you to stay," Grace said, "but we don't need you. Rick does. And you need him. Go."
A flurry of excitement tickled her belly. Katie folded her arms, stared at her dad, then her sister. "When did you get so smart and mature?"
"When I was being chased by those two jerks from Alexander." Grace's reminded sobered them all for a moment, then she smiled. "Dad can stay. I'm out of danger."
"She is," Sam added.
"But you can't say the same about you and Rick."
Sam chuckled. "Go, Dr. Grace."
"If it were me," Grace said, "I'd be getting to Tommy as fast as I could. In fact, when I get out of here, that's what I'm going to do. Not that you asked, but I think you should do whatever you have to in order to keep Rick this time."
Really liking this side of her sister, Katie grinned. "Got any ideas?"
"Something to do with naked and whipped cream?"
"Grace!" She burst out laughing. "That's really more your speed."
"I don't know. You might like it."
"I don't know about the whipped cream, but you should definitely go, honey." Sam Foster hugged her. "Definitely."
Rick had said he wanted to talk. She did, too. And she should go now. Today. Find out if this was the end or a new beginning.
She was afraid to go, but as she recalled the promise she'd made to him, she was more afraid not to.
Rick should've been sleeping like a rock, but he wasn't. He was restless and edgy after the twelve-hour drive from Colorado, and his eyes wouldn't close. Even four hours after arriving home, he kept seeing the panic, the rejection on Katie's face, kept wondering how badly he'd hurt her. How badly he'd screwed up.
As he'd promised, he'd called the hospital to tell her he had made it home all right. Grace had answered, saying Katie couldn't come to the phone. She'd said she would give Katie his message and have her call, but she still hadn't.
He got out of bed, went outside, shoved off his briefs and dove into the pool. The June night wrapped around him, warm and silky.
He'd thought he was doing the right thing by leaving, but if so, why did his chest feel ripped open? Why did it feel so wrong?
He stretched into his stroke, recalling the night he'd seen Katie out here, swimming for all she was worth. That same frustration pushed him now. He sliced through the water, going another length of the pool.
Due to the late hour, he had dropped Tommy at Uncle Dwayne's house rather than the office. The FBI had arranged to put their chief witness against Henderson in protective custody until the trial was over. Even now, they were making their move on the mafioso to put the man behind bars.
Rick turned, swam to the far end of the pool, his strokes smooth and measured. His uncle had informed him the FBI had found evidence that Henderson had killed a man in Kansas and run another woman off the road, just like he had Grace.
The case was wrapped up except for the trial, in which Tommy and Grace would testify. Rick would be called on to identify pictures of the two men who had tailed him and Katie, tried to kill them at the cabin.
Surfacing at the far end of the pool, he stared at the black velvet sky.
Katie. His heart ached. He wanted to know she was all right, wanted to make love with her and try to erase the memory of the last time they'd been together. That night when he'd taken her body, then withdrawn from her.
He turned and swam toward the opposite end of the pool, his muscles finally unknotting.
Today's long drive had given him more than enough time to think. He loved her, had always loved her. And he decided he'd rather have her any way he could get her than not at all.
He was ready to take a chance on them. No more ultimatums. They'd find a compromise, even if it meant seeing her only when her family wasn't in crisis mode.
Cutting through the water, he pictured her face, her eyes soft and liquid blue, her sweet lips. He'd call her again. Now.
He reached the middle of the pool, stood and ran a hand over his wet face. That's when he saw her.
Standing only feet from him, water barely covering her breasts. Her bare breasts, her bare body.
His heart kicked against his ribs. He blinked. Wondering if his mid had transferred her image to the water, he moved forward. "Katie?"
"Hi," she said shyly. Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, she stared at him uncertainly, then stepped toward him. Moonlight shimmered on the water, washed her in liquid silver.
"You're here." He couldn't believe it. He sounded hoarse and winded and stupid.
"Yes. My dad drove me up to take a flight out of Colorado Springs." She stopped inches away, water rippling around her, reaching out to lap against his chest. Her eyes were deep with longing and need and something he wasn't sure he could name.
"What happened?"
"I told you I wanted to be with you and I meant it."
"You should be with Grace."
"This is why I didn't call and tell you I was coming." She reached him, ran her hand up his chest. "I didn't want you trying to talk me out of it."
He grabbed her wrist, as much to make a point as to steady himself. "You don't have to give them up for me. I don't want that."
"I'm not. I thought about what you said. You were right. I was making a choice when I didn't have to."
He felt the heat of her under the water, the shadow touch of her body. Sensation hummed through him. He was already hard, his pulse throbbing. "I don't want you to feel torn. "We'll work something out. I want you in my life, Katie."
She pressed closer, her breasts nudging his chest and driving his pulse into orbit. "I want that, too. I need you, Rick."
His hand slip up her arm, trailed over her bare, velvety shoulder. "Was I an idiot? Want me to beg first?"
"You were right." She dropped a kiss on his chest, looked up at him. "And I want you to make me beg."
"Damn," he said hoarsely. He pulled her to him, his hands curving over her bottom. She lifted herself and wrapped her legs around him.
Her center pulsed hot against his erection. "I hate what happened last time, darlin'. I want to make that up to you."
"I
like the sound of that." She shifted, pressing hard against him.
"You're really here." He moved his hand between them, found her sleek and hot as he slid one finger inside.
She clenched tight around him, her hands moving down to stroke his erection. "I want to feel you. All of you."
Her hand slid the length of him, and he nearly lost it right then. Using all his willpower, he held back, concentrating on watching the pleasure flash across her features. They touched each other, stroked. Harder, longer. Sinuous movements that took him to the edge, had her breath shuddering out.
She whispered his name, her gaze locked with his. "Now, Rick. I don't want to wait any longer."
Somehow, he made it to the side of the pool, braced his back against the concrete edge so it wouldn't scratch her and held her as she slid down on him, slow and steady.
A perfect fit.
She kissed him, sank down to take him even deeper.
His hands moved to her breasts. He plucked gently at her nipples and curved his hands around her fullness. "I love you, Katie Foster."
Her eyes darkened; love and trust shone in the smoky depths. "I love you, too. I thought you'd never say that to me again."
"I never stopped. I never will."
"Me, either."
For the first time, they made love with absolute trust. No shackles from the past, no concerns other than the rhythm of her body meeting his.
He watched her eyes, and the lock on his heart fell away. He gave to her the way he had before, completely, without inhibition. The way he thought he never would again. And she did the same, for the first time meeting him with full abandon. The stroke of his body into hers felt familiar, but there was a freshness, a deeper comprehension of years lost, regret buried that made their lovemaking seem new.
The same awe that had locked his breath in his lungs the first time he'd taken her still held him. He saw that same wonder in her eyes and a vulnerability shining out at him that he knew he'd never take for granted. They'd paid a ten-year price to get here.
They moved slowly together, making it last. Committing to each other with every stroke, every whispered word. Giving, taking, reaching.
His hands flexed on her hips. He remembered this, the velvet feel of her skin beneath him, the delicate woman taste of her. As she came apart in his arms, he stored away the memory of moonlight gliding down her arched neck. The sultry steadiness of her eye on his, the way her hands urged him on, the open surrender in her face. And when he finally let himself go, they climaxed together.
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