by Tia Siren
“First of all, my parents just happened to grow up always being in love with each other,” I said. “It was geography and luck, not fate. Secondly, Mason and I are not fated, and anyone who knows either of us or both of us knows that. Doomed, maybe. We are two people who knew each other a lifetime ago. I got drunk on the memory of when we were kids. You know how it is to look back on your past at all the happy times and then get nostalgic. You want to feel those feelings again, but the truth of the matter is, you’ll never feel exactly the way you did in those moments. That’s why I’m realizing it might be dangerous to look to the past.”
The words came out of my mouth, and I was desperately trying to believe them. I wanted to live in a fairy-tale world where two people who were meant to be together found each other even after hardship and time apart, but I didn’t see how that could happen. Sure, I had felt something during sex. It had been familiar, warm, passionate, and we had just got done laughing and talking about a time when we were in love. He was my first, which always held a special place in my heart, but there was no way anything else could come out of it. Even entertaining the thought could be dangerous, and it could lead to hurt feelings and resentment. I’d finally gotten him to realize what had happened all those years ago. I didn’t need us to start fighting again already.
I had my phone by me all weekend, and I didn’t hear a peep out of him, not a call or a text. I was pretty sure, with the way he had been hunting me down, if the sex meant anything more to him than just sex, he would have called me. He had fallen into the same trap I had and then realized that it might have been amazing and earth-shattering, but it was just sex. I took in a deep breath and let it out, trying to calm myself down. Why was I getting so anxious about everything? It was exactly what it was supposed to be and nothing more and nothing less. I didn’t need Blair filling my head with these fairy tales. I knew myself too well. It would drive me crazy, and I would end up making a fool out of myself in front of Mason.
“Seriously, Blair, it was nothing more than sex, and I’m sure he didn’t think anything more of it either,” I said. “He hasn’t called or texted since that night, and that’s an obvious sign that he isn’t interested. He was hell-bent on getting ahold of me before, paying thousands of dollars to sit down with me, and now nothing. It was what it was, and I can’t make him pick up the phone.”
“Am I missing something here?”
“What do you mean?” I said.
“Ava, this isn’t 1955. It’s the modern age,” she said. “Why the hell haven’t you picked up the phone and called him yourself? Since when did a woman have to sit around and wait for a man to get his shit together? If you’re at all interested, you need to make shit happen on your own. You need to pick up the phone and dial his damn number.”
“You need to calm down before you give yourself an aneurysm.” I laughed.
“Think about it, Ava. You’re letting him make the rules,” she said. “You should be making the rules because you were the one who was scorned in the first place.”
Maybe Blair was right. Maybe I should be the one picking up the phone and calling. It was hard to imagine me going after Mason. He had always been the strong protector in the relationship, but maybe Blair had a point that I should be making the rules instead of waiting for Mason to get his shit together in whatever magical transformation he seemed to be going through. Women were taking charge all the time. God knew I did it on a regular basis. I wasn’t really even sure why I hadn’t called him. If I was being honest, I didn’t even think about the fact that phones worked both ways.
As a girl, I was under the assumption that if he wanted to see me again, he would call, but that was stupid. If I wanted to see him again, maybe I should pick up the phone and make a move. But did I want to put myself in that position? Did I want to admit that the sex was not just sex and there was definitely some emotion behind it on my part? If I did, if I made a move and he rejected me, it would feel terrible, and I was really tired of feeling terrible because of Mason York and his family. The whole thing was incredibly confusing, and I really didn’t even know why I was spending so much time thinking about it.
“I don’t know why I haven’t called him,” I said. “I mean honestly, I don’t even know what I would say to him. What do you say to a guy after running out of his house like a mad woman the day after you slept with him? That’s probably why he didn’t call. He thinks I am absolutely nuts.”
“Did he kiss you good-bye?” Blair asked, raising her eyebrows.
“Yes,” I said. “And it calmed me down and sent me wandering out of his apartment in a complete and total haze.”
“He wouldn’t have kissed you if he thought you were nuts,” she said.
“Or he thought it would keep me from doing something crazy. Or maybe he likes nuts. I did see him flirting with a crazy-ass redhead at the club during my gig the other night.”
“He was flirting in front of you?”
“No,” I said. “He stopped as soon as he saw me and ditched her. He didn’t know I was there.”
“See? He’s ditching girls in public to talk to you,” Blair said.
“He ditched a girl to come hit on me,” I said. “And then let his friend talk to me like I was nothing. Okay, he did stand up for me a little, but his friend was adamant about how much of a player Mason is.”
“So what?” Blair scoffed. “He’s a single rich guy in New York City. What did you expect? A saint? All guys are players to somebody. Every guy has used a girl for whatever he wants. It’s not about who he’s played. It’s about him not playing you and being genuinely interested. I mean, how are you supposed to know if you don’t take the leap to find out?”
“But I don’t want to be hurt,” I said.
“Who does?” She laughed. “But isn’t that what life is about? Taking chances, feeling emotions, learning and growing from them, and finally finding happiness? What if he is your happiness and you’re passing him by? I promise you, regret sucks way worse than any broken heart. Those heal, but you carry regret with you to the grave. Besides, if it turns out bad, it’s just more fuel for your fire against his family.”
“I guess you’re right,” I said, adding more sugar to my coffee refill. “I’ll think about it.”
She gave me a kiss on the cheek. “You do that. Call me tomorrow or something.”
“I will.”
After leaving the shop and heading to my car, I drove home, lost in my own thoughts, and parked in front of my apartment. I climbed the stairs to the top and went inside, realizing how small my apartment was, especially after being in the York Hotel penthouse suite. I plopped down on the couch and pulled out my phone, staring down at the screen. Maybe I should call him and get it over with, like pulling off a bandage. My heart said yes, but my mind was screaming no.
Chapter 23
Mason
I looked out the window at the sky that was turning from dusk to night. The lights in the city shined brightly through my windows, and I felt a burst of excitement inside me. It was Monday night, and I had been at the house all day. I’d made up an excuse not to go to the office, and I was really glad I had made that choice because I’d been dreading it all weekend long.
Instead of slaving away, pretending I cared about my father or his company, I’d stayed at home and worked on my own business. I took conferenced meetings all day, trying to get the company going. I had meetings with lawyers, accountants, financiers, and everyone in between. I wanted everything to fall into place so badly, and I was ready to be set free and watch my own legacy take off. I knew it was going to be difficult from the beginning, especially with my father not on board to help me with it, but I was determined and motivated. Everyone I spoke to loved my ideas, loved what I was trying to accomplish, and that alone gave me the motivation to push forward. Nothing could hold me back this time. I could feel it.
When the day was over, and I sat back in my chair looking at my notes, I realized that if I stayed on track, this proje
ct would be up and running with the next month. No, it wouldn’t be the corporate monster my father or John’s father owned, but it would have the capability of getting there if I did things correctly. I couldn’t believe that in a month’s time, I would have my own business, my own name—separation from my father. I didn’t know why I hadn’t done it before. I guessed it was daunting, and I hadn’t had the motivation I needed to get things going.
Exhilaration bolted through me, and I went to the fridge and grabbed a beer. My mind was racing a million miles a minute, trying to go through the monstrous list of things I had to do in order to make this a reality. I was so close, closer than I had ever been, and I would be damned if I let it slip through my fingers. I was excited about more than just the company. I was excited about the freedom it would award me, the freedom to make my own decisions, live how I wanted to live, no longer answer to my father, and have Ava in my life. Technology had always been my passion, which was why I had gotten a dual degree when I went to college. I had real ideas that could change the future of technology as we knew it.
The cell phone revolution hadn’t met its match yet, but the ideas I had concocted and worked through, at least on paper, would change up the phone game forever. It wasn’t only about money to me. It was about the revolution that technology could produce. It was about innovation and experimentation and everything that went along with that. I shook my head and laughed, too caught up in the big picture to quiet my mind enough to think about the details.
I sipped my beer as I looked out over the city, my thoughts turning to Ava, wanting to share with her everything I had accomplished. I knew it was dangerous to think she and I might actually make something out of the drama and mess we had been living in, but at that moment, I couldn’t help myself. She still felt like my greatest ally, just like when we were teenagers telling each other our biggest secrets. I really wanted to have that with her again, to have her standing by me when I forged my own future. I knew, though, it would take a lot more than the prospect of a booming business to get her trust back.
I looked over into the apartment, hearing a knock at the door. I walked over and opened it up, smiling at John standing on the other side. He smiled back anxiously, unsure where my good mood had sprung from. I had to be honest. I was more than a little surprised to see him. The last time we spoke, he’d been irritated as hell with me, wanting me to go out and not understanding my need to grow. He took everything I said as a jab against him instead of understanding that I was talking about myself and what I needed in my life. Hopefully, this wouldn’t turn into a fight. I was in too good of a mood to dampen it with something like that. Either way, he was my best friend, and I was excited to have someone to talk to about everything.
“Hey,” I said. “Good to see you, man.”
“Yeah.” He chuckled. “You too.”
“Come on in.” I grabbed him a beer and led him into the living room. “What’s up?”
“I figured it would be better for me to come by face to face to ask you what’s going on,” he said. “What’s up with you?”
“Well, if you can keep a secret, I’m trying to get my own business up and running, my own technology company,” I said. “You know I’ve had the idea for a long time.”
“Did your father finally agree?”
“No,” I said, smiling. “I’m doing this on my own. I’m branching out from my father.”
“Whoa,” he said, wide-eyed. “What kind of blowback do you think you’ll get?”
“There’s a lot to it, so probably a really huge blowback.” I laughed. “But when the dust settles, I will finally have the freedom to live my life. Like I said the other day, I want to grow into something more than a trust fund kid. You work for your father, and you enjoy it. I don’t enjoy working for my dad.”
“I’m really happy for you, man,” he said. “And working for my father is not the dream job, trust me.”
“I’m glad you said that,” I said, leaning forward. “I really think you would be a huge asset to my company. You’ve been by my side through everything, and I think your financial knowledge and business sense coupled with my knowledge and ideas would make a powerful team. I’m not saying you would have to leave your dad’s company completely. We could work something out that fit what you wanted, but I really would like to have you on my team.”
“Wow,” he said. “I mean, of course, man. I’ve loved your ideas from the beginning, and I would love to be on the ground level of this thing as it takes off. I think you and I could really make it work. And I don’t have a problem leaving my father’s company as long as I have somewhere to land that’s strong and stable. My dad isn’t as demanding as your father.”
“To the future then,” I said, raising my beer to his. “This is going to be fucking awesome.”
“To the future,” he said, clinking my beer and taking a sip. “So what area of technology are we talking about?”
I chuckled. “I have ideas for pretty much every area of technology. But we would start out in the cell phone arena. Not as a carrier, but as a technological source creating a new phone that would rock the cell phone world. I have all the ideas on paper. We can set up a time to sit down and go over everything. I could be up and running in a month.”
“This is exciting,” John said happily. “How about the rest of your world? What’s going on there? Have you talked to that model girl anymore? What was her name?”
“Ava,” I said.
“Yeah, Ava,” he replied, shaking his head. “You grew up with her, right?”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “She was my first, though she doesn’t know that. It was more than that, though. We grew up together, and we were best friends. We pretty much did everything together until we were eighteen and shit hit the fan.”
“So, have you seen her since the club? I know I was a douche. I’m sorry,” he said.
“It’s all right.” I chuckled. “I’m used to you being a douchebag. We actually met up on Friday here, and I cooked her dinner. Things went a bit further than dinner, and I’ll say that she is pretty hot first thing in the morning. But we also talked a lot about what happened in the past, how we can resolve it, and how we can get our lives back on track. When Spencer Hotels went down, it really kicked her family’s ass, and come to find out, my father was behind the whole thing. I have to make that right, you know? I feel responsible.”
“You shouldn’t feel responsible for what your father did, but I understand why you do,” John said. “Are you going to confront him about it?”
“Eventually,” I said. “I want to get all my personal ducks in a row before I do to make sure that when he blows back at me, I’m able to stay on my feet.”
“And what about Ava?” he asked. “Is this more than just making things right? Do you want to actually start dating this girl?”
“I don’t know.”
John laughed. “Yes, you do.”
“All right, fine. I want to date her, seriously,” I said, tired of lying about it. “She is a really special woman, and she has been for most of my life, even when we weren’t talking.”
I couldn’t believe how good it felt to admit that, to get it off my chest, even if it was just to John. I couldn’t talk about it with my parents, and I didn’t know how to approach it with Ava, so I had been holding it inside for a while. I instantly felt so much better, and the path I wanted to go down was so much clearer. I wanted Ava in my life on a romantic level, on every level for that matter. She was the girl who had started it all for me, my whole change, my whole motivation for the future.
“Of course, I want to be selfish and say that’s a horrible idea because I don’t want to lose my partner in crime,” John said with a smirk. “But you’re a really good guy, and you beat by the sound of your own drum. I think this is exactly what you need in your life, someone you really care about and see a future with. I should have seen that coming, but I was really self-absorbed and worried about everything in my own life. I’m sorry ab
out that, man.”
I sent him an easy grin to let him know it hadn’t damaged our friendship. “It’s okay. I have been the same way, too, for far too long.”
“Well, I guess I’ll back off on trying to get you to go out and catch some pussy with me then.” He flashed a bit of his old humor. "At least until you figure everything out with this girl.”
“I appreciate that.” I grinned, but it occurred to me that he might have been pushing so hard because he’d thought I would ditch him. “I’ll still grab drinks with you. I’m not leaving the country or joining the priesthood or anything.”
“Could you imagine me as a priest?” John laughed loudly. “The church would go up in flames.”
“Fueled by whiskey.”
It felt really good to have everything start to fall into place. Now all I needed was Ava by my side. I had a distinct feeling attaining that might be a harder task than I was hoping.
Chapter 24
Ava
Walking out of school felt so damn good. I had finished my last final exam and then turned in my final project for my other class. That final was the toughest of them all, but I was pretty sure I had aced it, which would push me up into the top five of my graduating class. I had worked so hard to get to this point, and I was really proud of myself for doing it. Relief was the name of the game at the moment: relief that I had survived another year, relief that I was done for at least four months with the nonstop studying, and relief that I could take a break. I felt that way at the end of every semester, but this time, after everything I had been going through, it felt even more rewarding. I knew Blair felt the same even though she didn’t seem to ever get stressed from the finals drudgery we went through every semester.
I was just looking forward to the future. I had one year, less than that really, until I would be taking my bar exam and walking across the stage for graduation. It was incredibly exciting, but at the same time, I had to keep focused to keep my grades up. I had really never liked law, but I was motivated to move forward with my plans. I had been focused on it since I’d graduated high school, and I hadn’t even given myself the opportunity to think about any other options. When my family’s world had imploded, I’d planned to one day go after the York family, but I hadn’t realized everything would change when Mason came running back into my life.