by Tia Siren
“I said that he would be fired if he didn’t do his job right,” I said with a shrug. “That was over a year ago. He’s still afraid of me firing him?”
“Half your office is afraid of your foul moods. Your temper is pretty famous around there.”
“And you’re not afraid of me because of that?” I asked curiously. “Given what you’ve been through in the past few hours, you aren’t afraid of me at all?”
“Not at all,” Joanna said. “I’ve been with someone who has a temper. You don’t have a temper in my eyes. It’s more that you get frustrated when things aren’t going smoothly.”
I set my fork down along the side of my plate to look at Joanna. “I’m not that different from most men, you know. I just don’t hit women because I can’t deal with the stress of my job.”
“How do you deal with the stress of having the biggest management firm on the West Coast?” Joanna asked, cradling her glass of wine. Her own plate of food was pushed off to the side as she looked at me. “You have all this money, obviously. How do you deal with it all?”
The question made me shift uncomfortably in my seat. How could I answer that honestly without scaring Joanna away? I fucked women on the weekends the way I had been fucked over by Sierra. I drank a lot of alcohol when I didn’t have to be responsible the next morning. None of that made me seem to be the healthy man I had a feeling Joanna regarded me as. I had my own demons attached to my back, but I didn’t take them out on anyone. That was the difference. It just didn’t make me a better man.
“I deal with it the best I can,” I answered slowly. “I get to travel a lot, so that does help a bit.”
To my surprise, Joanna let out an undignified snort. She clapped a hand over her mouth and nose when I looked at her in surprise.
“I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head. “I didn’t mean to do that out loud. It came out.”
“It sounds like you don’t believe me,” I said. “Was that a disbelieving type of snort?”
Joanna downed the rest of her wine in one steady gulp. I immediately reached for the bottle between us to pour her another glass before doing the same for myself.
“I’ve been your secretary for a while now,” she said. “I’m having a hard time believing that you of all people say traveling is the best way to deal with your stress levels. I know what you do outside the office.”
That piqued my interest. I leaned across the table, pushing away my plate in the process, to rest my elbows on the tabletop with my glass of wine in hand. I smiled in amusement when Joanna’s cheeks visibly reddened. The wine, I realized, was pulling out a side of Joanna that I never got to see inside the office. It was a pleasant experience to see a more carefree side to her—not the orderly and controlled one that she maintained in the office.
“How do you think I deal with my stress levels then?” I asked curiously. “I’m interested in hearing a few theories, because there are many of those going around the office.”
“Well, for one, everyone says that you love to drink when you don’t have to work the next day. A bit of a partier who likes to go to the clubs and—”
“Wrong,” I interrupted with a shake of my head. “I like alcohol, but I don’t go party. I don’t like clubs, either. They’re too loud.”
Joanna blinked at me as she sipped at her wine. “So you were acting out of character when going to that club on Friday night then?”
“Sort of,” I said.
I didn’t want to go into detail about only going because I needed someone to fuck hard that night but then how seeing Sid drag Joanna into the unmarked car like a rag doll had squashed my sex drive immediately. Until now. I could feel it roaring back to life with the temptation of Joanna enjoying a glass of wine across the table from me.
“You were there with that woman,” Joanna stated. “That’s another theory going around the office you know. A few people warned me about your reputation before I started working for you.”
“What sort of reputation do I have?” I asked.
“That you’re a tiny bit”—she pinched her fingers together to exaggerate her point—“of a womanizer. A ladies’ man. A player, if you want to be gangster about it.”
I shrugged my shoulders because I couldn’t argue with that theory. “Never claimed to be a nice guy, so I’ll say that last part is true.”
“It’s true?” Joanna straightened up in her chair. “What am I doing here with you alone then? Is this all some sort of plan on your part to get me alone?”
You have no fucking idea. The thought of dragging Joanna up onto the table to kiss her madly and go crazy on her delicious-looking body ran through my blood hotly as I squirmed in my chair to hide the fact that I was rock hard imagining it. The wine was hitting Joanna in ways that I’d never seen before, but I enjoyed it thoroughly.
I could feel the edges of my own self-control starting to deteriorate. My inhibitions were lowering like Joanna’s with each sip of wine, but I couldn’t stop myself even if my life depended on it.
“I care about you,” I said. “I know how dangerous your situation can get. I didn’t want to think about you going home to that piece of shit just to show up at my office again with even more bruises.”
Joanna’s hands shot up to touch the dark marks around her neck. “It wasn’t always like this you know. It used to be good between him and me.”
“Let’s not bring it up right now,” I said. “Okay? Just let the idea of him go. I don’t understand why women think that men like Sid will ever change. It’s like you romanticize the idea of a bad boy with some real fucked-up demons in him.”
“All of us have demons,” she said. “Don’t you have some?”
“More than I’d like to admit,” I said with a painful grimace. “The point is that you have to let go of what you think people are and see them for what they actually are. You don’t deserve a guy who makes you feel like you aren’t worthy enough to be loved, because you are worthy. More than you think.”
Joanna didn’t say anything for a long time as she mulled over my words. Instead, we sipped wine together in silence before she suddenly looked up at me with blazing eyes. It wasn’t the intensity that startled me, but the lust I could see dancing clearly in her eyes. I felt myself harden even more as the air between us sparked with energy.
“You aren’t who I thought you were,” Joanna said, setting her wine glass down. “You claim to be this womanizer prick, but I don’t think you are. I think you hide behind that façade to protect yourself from what happened with your ex-wife.”
I tensed at the sharp accuracy of those words. I didn’t get a chance to recover, though, because Joanna slipped out of her seat to stand in front of me with a mischievous smile tugging at her lips. She swayed a bit on her feet, so she used the kitchen table to steady herself for a moment.
“I know I won’t ever be able to fully repay you for what you’ve done for me, but I have an idea for repayment that you might like.” She leveled a surprisingly sober glance at me. “If you’re up for the challenge that is.”
Chapter 12
Joanna
What the fuck was I doing?
In a matter of hours, I had escaped an abusive boyfriend who was already trying to figure out where I had gone by calling my parents. I’d gone from living a life full of fear and anxiety to standing in front of Bastian Burke in his log mansion outside Park City.
My wine-muddled brain didn’t know how to comprehend the past few hours. Even the last few years of my life seemed like they were scribbled in a foreign language. I had no clue how the hell I had ended up in the situation I was currently in.
Yet staring down at Bastian with lust reflecting in his eyes, it felt natural to want this. I wanted to feel the strength of Bastian’s body against mine. I wanted those arms wrapped around my waist as he went at me with everything he had. I wanted to feel fucking good for the first time in years.
Standing in front of Bastian, I felt something stir deep within me. I didn�
��t care right there and then if I was playing with fire by trying to seduce my boss, my protector in so many ways. I wanted him. I had wanted him since the day he had hired me on the spot to be one of his assistants.
“What sort of challenge are you imposing on me?” Bastian asked, his voice a low and husky murmur.
I held out a hand for him to take. He grabbed ahold of my hand, and his strong fingers brushed along my palm. My stomach churned nervously as I pulled him up to his feet before leading him out of the kitchen. We walked along the hallway together, and I felt the tension radiating off Bastian in waves.
Once we reached the living room, I motioned for him to take a seat near the fireplace that was crackling happily. Bastian took a seat gingerly while his dark eyes studied my face intently for a clue as to what I was planning to do.
“Just sit back,” I said. “Relax. Enjoy.”
“This is crossing a lot of lines,” Bastian said in a warning voice. “Think about it, Joanna. I don’t know what you have planned here, but it might not be a smart idea right now with the two of us drinking.”
I paid little heed to his reasoning. For once, I wanted to do something impulsive that made me feel good. I didn’t care what Bastian said. I could see the partial bulge in his pants as he shifted in the chair again. He wanted me just as much as I wanted him.
“This is going to be my gift of thanks to you,” I replied, pretending to be braver than I actually felt. Inside, I was trembling like a leaf with nerves as Bastian’s eyes darkened even more. “You’ve done so much for me, and I know what I’m doing. I swear to you that I do, so let me just show you how much I appreciate everything you’ve done.”
“Joanna—”
“Hush,” I whispered, reaching for the top button of my blouse. “You don’t have to a say a word, Bastian. Just watch.”
He clicked his mouth shut while his eyes flicked down to where my fingers were slowly working the buttons loose on my blouse. I swallowed the nerves lingering in the back of my throat as I felt the fabric part to reveal a glimpse of my belly and the valley of my breasts. Thankful that I had thought to wear something lacey, I slowly shrugged out of my blouse to let the fabric drop down to the floor near my feet.
Bastian swallowed thickly. His eyes roved over the exposed skin, and he gripped the arms of the chair in what appeared to be an attempt to keep himself still. A part of me wished he wouldn’t hold back while another part of me relished in having this type of control over someone. The bulge in his pants grew even more.
I reached down with trembling fingers to undo my belt buckle. The fabric of my jeans loosened around my waist. I undid the zipper next, and with some effort, I managed to sensually shrug out of the skintight fabric without making a fool out of myself. I turned slowly in a small circle to give Bastian an ample view of my ass. I could feel his eyes threatening to burn trails across my skin. I heard the intake of a sharp breath as well, an indication that so far, he liked it.
I can’t believe I’m doing this, stripping naked for Bastian Burke. My boss.
The thought made me giddy, but I had a feeling the wine had more to do with my lack of inhibitions than the effect Bastian had over me. I had imagined doing something like this for a very long time just to feel sexy and wanted from a man like him.
An ache throbbed between my legs as I reached back for my bra clasp and tossed the garment down to the floor. My nipples were hard, longing for Bastian’s touch. I turned slowly with my forearm covering myself while I looked over at Bastian, who sat rigidly in the chair next to the fire. A vein throbbed on Bastian’s forehead as he clenched his jaw. His eyes were focused on where my arm covered up my breasts.
I lifted my arm promptly. A groan escaped Bastian’s lips.
“Fuck,” he whispered, shaking his head at me. “What are you trying to do to me, Joanna?”
“Nothing that you wouldn’t enjoy,” I replied, and his eyes visibly widened at that. “Do you want me to stop?”
“Fuck no,” came the hasty answer that made me smile. “I just don’t want you do something you are going to regret tomorrow.”
“What do you think I am going to regret?” I asked as seductively as possible.
I approached with small steps while I watched Bastian wrestle with his own emotions and thoughts. He pressed himself back into the chair when I stood directly in front of him.
“This entire thing,” Bastian choked out. “I don’t want you to think I’m trying to take advantage of you.”
“You saved my life,” I said simply. “I don’t think you have it in you to take advantage of anyone.”
“You’d be surprised by how fucked up I can be,” he said. “I’m honestly no better than your ex-boyfriend, Joanna. I know you think I’m not like him, but we could spend hours talking about the fucked-up things I’ve done to women over the years.”
I shook away that confession because of the haze of wine and lust penetrating through the very core of me. Reaching down, I grabbed ahold of Bastian’s hand that was clenching the end of the armrest. I pulled it up and forward to let his fingertips skim along my right breast and nipple. Heat shot through me at the sensation of his fingertips teasing my sensitive skin there. Bastian’s hand twitched violently in response to it.
Feeling even bolder, I reached down with my free hand to grab the hemline of my panties. I didn’t care how brash and stupid this was. But Bastian jerked back from me to grab ahold of my wrist and stop my hand.
“Joanna,” he whispered harshly. “Stop it, okay? You’re going to regret this tomorrow morning because you’re drunk. This isn’t how it’s going to go down between you and me.”
I tugged my hand away from his strong fingers. “I’m well aware of what I’m doing, Bastian. I’m not that drunk.”
Bastian sidestepped me to grab a blanket from the couch. He draped it across my shoulders with a troubled frown spreading across his face and then took a step back from me.
“You’ve never been like this before,” he said. “It’s not right. I know you’re too vulnerable from what has been going on with you. I can’t do that to you, okay?”
Tears filled my eyes much to my horror. I twisted sharply on my bare feet to gather my clothes from the floor and hold them tightly against my stomach. I knew he was right, even if a part of me didn’t want to admit it. I was rushing forward blindly to the first thing that made me feel good. It didn’t make it necessarily right, even though I was confident now that Bastian held the same attraction for me as I did for him.
“Hey,” Bastian said softly. “Don’t get upset, okay?”
“I’m not upset. I’m…” Embarrassed. Humiliated. Horrified. I sucked in a deep and calming breath despite how fuzzy my body felt to be standing naked next to Bastian. “I normally never do this sort of thing. I swear to you. I don’t know what is going on with me.”
“You’ve been through a lot. I know who you are, Joanna. You don’t ever have to worry about me questioning the type of woman you are.”
I laughed humorlessly at that. “What sort of woman am I?”
“You’re beautiful for starters.” My heart skipped to hear that coming from Bastian’s lips, but I didn’t dare turn around. I could feel him standing right behind me. “You’re very smart at whatever you set your mind to. You care about every single person you have in your life. It doesn’t matter who it is; you always try to make sure they are happy. I don’t know many people who are like that.”
“It’s called being a people pleaser,” I remarked, but a smile spread across my face. “It’s gotten me into trouble numerous times, but thank you for all that. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
I clutched the blanket around me tightly as I turned to look up at Bastian’s amused eyes. He cupped both of my cheeks tenderly before pressing a warm kiss to the top of my forehead. My stomach fluttered at the sweet gesture.
“I’m a man.” He chuckled deeply. “Do you think I was going to fight against a striptease? Get real now, Jo.”
“Go upstairs,” Bastian said. “Get some sleep. We’ll talk more in the morning. Okay? I have to make sure the fire is good to go throughout the night.”
“All right. Good night.”
“Sleep well.”
I left Bastian standing in front of the fireplace while I walked up the large staircase in the direction of the guest room. The air upstairs was a bit nippier than in the hot living room, but I imagined the temperature of my skin had nothing do with the fire. It had everything to do with Bastian.
I let the blanket drop from around my shoulders as soon as I was locked inside my room. Out of habit, I checked my phone for messages before setting it back down on the bedside table. No more reason to check. I didn’t have to worry about Sid wondering where I was or having to answer to him.
I pulled the sheets back on the bed to burrow deeply inside them after turning off all the lights. The ache in between my legs didn’t ease up. I half-listened to Bastian move about downstairs with a small bit of hope that he would come up to keep it going. Shaking that away, I reached down to feel the wetness between my thighs on my fingertips. I let my head sink back into the pillow while pleasure washed over me under the steady rhythm of my fingers. I imagined Bastian sitting in that chair next to the fireplace with shadows dancing across his face.
I trembled in the aftermath of my peak before I rolled back over to stare out at the wintery night through the small window across from the bed. I fell into a deep sleep before I could think about anything else.
Chapter 13
Bastian
My cell phone rang from near my bedside, waking me from a troubled and light sleep. A headache throbbed in my temples, and I reached out to grab the damn thing without even glancing at the caller ID.
“Who the fuck is calling me so early?” I growled into the phone. “This better be a damn emergency or a wrong number.”