by Kyle Autumn
“I’m not going anywhere until we figure this out,” Aidan tells me.
This time when I try to get my hand back, he keeps his hold on me.
“There’s nothing to figure out. If you have any feelings for me, it’s for the girl I was, not the woman I am. I can’t give you what you want, so just drop it.” My voice wobbles, but I try my best to keep it steady and put on a brave face.
“Do you still feel that way?” he asks, pleading with me. “If you still love me, then that’s all that matters.”
“That’s not all that matters. Please stop saying that.”
Though he keeps a steady grip on my hand, he brings his free one to my face to wipe tears away. “Because you think I want kids more than I want you?”
I can’t help but lean in toward his hand, his touch comforting me when it shouldn’t. “I know what you want, Aidan. And I can’t give it to you.”
“Nic,” he breathes out, stepping closer to me. He lets my hand go completely and cups my face, using his thumbs to clean the wet streaks on my skin. “You’re the only one who can give me what I want. Because all I want is you.”
When he leans forward and presses his lips to mine, salt hits my taste buds. At the same time, a small cheer erupts behind him and my eyes fly open. Our friends whistle and clap as Aidan kisses me, showing me exactly how he feels.
But I still have to pull away. I can’t let my heart believe that this could happen without being very clear with him. “Wait. What if you change your mind? This isn’t something I can fix. I’m broken, and you need to—”
“Hold up. Broken?” He holds my face, staring intensely into my eyes. “I don’t for one second think you’re broken. You’re exactly who you’re supposed to be.” Then he leans in a little closer. “Exactly who I love.” After a chaste kiss, he pulls back to gauge my reaction.
“Even though I…” I trail off before sniffling. As my heart picks up speed—for a good reason this time—I try to push the hope down, but soon, it overtakes me. “Even though we can’t have kids?”
“That was never a necessity, Nic.”
“But you’ve always talked about how much you want them,” I explain, a crease forming on my brow.
“Yeah, sure,” he says, tucking hair behind my ears before lowering his hands to my shoulders, “but only if I could have them with you. I’ve never once pictured my life without you. You are the only thing I need.”
With that, I dissolve into tears. I can’t hold it in anymore. As I reach to pull him into my arms, he gathers me into his and presses my head against his chest so I can truly feel all the emotions running through me. Grief. Hope. Appreciation. Sadness. Love. It’s all too much, and I claw the back of his suit jacket to get closer to him.
He kisses my hair. “I’m so sorry, Nic. I should have—”
But I shake my head. “No more should-haves, okay?” I move my head back to look up at him. “Can we just start over?”
A slow smile grows on his lips. “Sure.” Then he kisses my forehead. “But feel free to sleep in my bed while you—”
I swat at his chest and chuckle a little, which feels good for a change. Then I wipe my eyes, hoping I don’t look like a raccoon from my mascara and eyeliner.
“I’m just kidding. Kinda.” He smirks at me, but then he grows serious. “Honestly, I think you need that time to heal like you said. But I plan to be here every step of the way, to encourage you, help you”—he dips his head to make sure he has my attention—“love you. Whatever you need. Because you’re my everything. You always have been. Just ask those idiots.” He juts a thumb behind his back.
When I peek over his shoulder, everyone’s nodding. And smiling like the idiots he said they are. It’s kind of adorable, and it makes me crack a smile and pull away from Aidan a little.
“Sorry we hijacked your wedding. This is so rude,” I tell Cadence and Matt.
Cadence just laughs as Matt says, “Anything to make sure this guy doesn’t go back to being a grumpy asshole.”
Everyone chuckles at that.
Then Cadence says, “But seriously, we could use this guy for photos. We’ll only steal him for a few minutes. I promise. Then he’s all yours.”
“I was trying to let him go,” I say around a laugh. “But he just won’t give up that easily.”
“Obviously,” Jeremy jokes. “The guy’s been in love with you since he met you forever and a half ago. Of course he doesn’t give up.”
Aidan gives me his gaze, shrugging casually, a smirk gracing his lips.
Peering around his shoulder, I tell Jeremy, “Well, the feeling’s been mutual for just as long.” Then I look at Aidan, hoping he can feel how much I mean what I’m about to say. “We just had to take the long road to get here so we could appreciate it more.”
“And it looks like it paid off,” Dani says, winking at me.
I smile back at her, but then Aidan gets my attention back by lifting my hand and kissing the back of it.
“I’ll be right back.” He starts to go, stretching our arms out because he doesn’t want to let our hands go. But then he freezes, looking over his shoulder, and reels me back in. “You’ll be here, right? Or do I need to tell you how much I love you and can’t live without you some more?”
As he presses his forehead to mine, I grin at him. It’s a heartfelt, soul-deep grin I couldn’t possibly keep to myself if I had to. This man loves me—just as I am. There’s nothing that could stop me from being giddy about that.
“I mean, you could always tell me that some more,” I tell him, “but I guess I have to cancel my flight. Only if you really want me to stay…”
He backs his head away a few inches. “I take it you didn’t get Mason’s email?”
When I shake my head, I pull my phone out of my clutch. I remember accepting the notification, but I never got to read the message.
“We both need to start reading the things that show up on our phones.” He chuckles and slings an arm around my shoulder. Then he starts walking me toward the group taking photos.
I laugh too. So much of our lives could have been so different if we’d done things differently, but the important thing is that we’re figuring it out now. Then I check my phone and read Mason’s email.
Veronica,
Hey. Your plane ticket purchase triggered the credit card company to call me. I told them that the purchase was made on purpose but we no longer need it. If you still want to come back after you talk with Aidan, I’ll be happy to pay whatever it costs to buy that ticket again. But you deserve to be happy, and I know you two will do that for each other. Hear Aidan out, tell him the truth, and it’ll be okay. Of course I miss you and wish things would have worked out differently, but I’ve always known this was inevitable. And I’m sure you both did too. I love you, Veronica. You’re both always welcome here, so tell Aidan not to be a stranger.
Love,
Mason
Fresh tears balance on the rims of my eyes, but they don’t fall this time. Mason will be just fine. In fact, I think we all will. Even though I woke up this morning thinking my life was barely worth living anymore, I have such high hopes for the future now.
Especially when Cadence yells, “Actually, you get over here too, Veronica. You should be in these photos too.”
Because I didn’t just find my happily-ever-after with Aidan, who beams a loving smile at me. I also found my happily-ever-after with a group of people who’ve accepted me so easily. And we pose for photos as if we’ve been a family forever.
Which, with any luck, we certainly will be.
“I love you,” Aidan whispers in my ear between photos, his hand tenderly placed on my lower back.
I can’t help but face him when I finally say the three words I’ve been waiting forever to tell him. He needs to see how much I mean it, and I want to see his face when I say it. “I love you too, Aidan. I always have. And I always will.”
He kisses my lips right before the photographer snaps the picture, and the l
ast thought I have before I lose myself in Aidan’s kiss is that I can’t wait to see this photo of us. Because a photo of me kissing Aidan, with the rest of the people we love so much happy for us as they smile on?
That’s something I’ll keep forever.
Just like I’ll keep Aidan forever.
And he’ll keep me.
No matter what.
Epilogue
Nic
“Have you decided what you’re going to do?” Cadence asks me. Then she takes a bite of one of the peach cobbler Danishes Amelia brought to the office for me and sits on the edge of my desk.
I dust the last crumbs of mine off my hands. “Not exactly.” One corner of my bottom lip pulls down as I shrug.
“Oh, you so have,” Amelia teases. “I can see it in your eyes. Just tell him you want to move in!”
Today is closing day on Jeremy’s house. That’s only a technicality though. No one new is moving in because Jeremy’s parents bought it from him so he can get the money from the sale of the house for his and Amelia’s business. And so Dani will have one less thing to worry about when she has her baby. Their parents didn’t want to spoil her, so they set up a payment plan, but they did want to make sure she’s okay. Dani’s a minor, though, and won’t be living there on her own until she’s eighteen. For now, she’s staying next door with Jeremy and Amelia, and she’s going back to school here in a month.
But all of that’s to say that I don’t have to move out if I don’t want to. And that I was clearly born into the wrong family. My father would have disowned me if I’d gotten pregnant at sixteen, not bought me a house.
It’s been a month since Aidan and I finally got on the same page, and in those four weeks, I’ve landed on the anger stage of my grief with my dad. I’m so angry that I let him influence so much of my life. That I wasted seven years I could have spent with Aidan because of him. Which means there’s really only one choice here.
“Okay, I have,” I confess, uncrossing my legs and standing up from my chair behind my desk. Then I rush to add, “But what if he doesn’t want me to move in anymore? We haven’t really talked about it since before the wedding.”
Cadence pops the last bite into her mouth, chews, and swallows. “How many nights a week are you staying there right now?” As she raises a girl, you’re crazy if you think he doesn’t want you there eyebrow, she leans back, placing one hand behind her on the desk and the other on her tiny baby bump.
I can’t help how my eyes are drawn to the action with a little jealousy, but Aidan’s helping me get through that too. “Um, most?” I answer in the form of a question.
Amelia smirks at me, standing up from her seat by the door. “Then I think you have your answer.” She slings her bag over her shoulder. “Of course that man wants you to move in. He tells Jeremy all the time. But he hasn’t said anything to you because he knows his intensity might drive you away. He’s trying to tone things down a notch, seeing as there was that whole misunderstanding before.”
She’s polite enough not to say “kids” or “children” in this instance, but I know exactly what she’s talking about. And, now that I think about it, I can see the rest of what she’s saying. I guess Aidan has been different. A little more toned down than normal. But I don’t want him to have to be different around me. He should be who he is, just like he’s encouraged me to be.
“Looks like you’ve figured this out,” Cadence laughs. “Go on. Get out of here. Tell that man how you feel.”
When I check the clock, it’s only four thirty. “Are you sure? I can stay.”
She gestures a hand around the room. “Because we’re so busy?” After a chuckle, she says, “No, seriously. Go.”
Goodness, how did I get so lucky? Between Aidan and all the people he comes with, I couldn’t have found a better group of people to call family. True family. They take care of me, and with any luck, I can provide them with my own brand of care soon. I have one more thing on my bucket list and can’t wait to work on it.
One day—and one thing—at a time though. Today, I’ll work on my living situation.
I waste no time before grabbing my things and heading out the door with Amelia. But I do give Cadence a hug before I leave. “Thank you. For everything.”
“I was in your shoes once,” she says softly while we embrace. “I’m just glad I can help out the way someone helped me too.”
Before we both turn into a puddle of emotional sobbing messes, I smile at her one last time and open the door for Amelia. She waves to Cadence and then we get in the car.
“I’m excited for you, you know,” she says to me as she pulls out of the parking lot.
“It’s not too soon?” I question, holding my purse in my lap.
She shakes her head. “Not at all. Jeremy and I did something similar even though I was in the middle of having just lost my husband.”
I’ve heard this full story now, and I can’t imagine what Amelia went through. But it sounds like having Jeremy there with her has made all the difference. And I think Aidan can be that for me. As long as he’s ready to be.
“It’ll be good for you,” she continues. “I know you want your independence, but you can still have that under his roof. He’d do anything for you.” She glances at me when she realizes what she said. “I know you already know that.”
Aidan really would. He gave up the future he saw for himself to be with me. So we both know how true her words are. That gives me the strength to do what I want to do.
When we get to Aidan’s house, she wishes me luck, smiling and waving as I get out of the car. I pass his Jeep as I walk up to the front door, digging my keys out of my bag. He gave me this copy of the key the day after the wedding because he wanted me to be able to get in whenever I wanted to. He didn’t make it a big thing, just handed it to me and made me promise to use it any time I needed to.
Well, I need to today.
I happen to catch him at the stairs when I open the door. His hand freezes on the railing, his eyes wide with surprise and love. And I’m not sure why I ever doubted that I want to take the next step with this man. He can be intense, but he’s sexy and kind and so, so caring and giving. He’s held me while I cried over feeling like a failure of a woman. He’s laughed with me over meals and taken me on dates all over the city so I could see more of this place I now call home.
He’s everything I’ve ever wanted and needed, just like I thought he was seven years ago when we met. But, now, I get to cling to that and call him mine. Proudly. Loudly.
Forever.
“I was just about to leave to come get you from work,” he says. “I’m glad to see you here so early though.”
“Think you can take me over to Jeremy’s house? There’s something I have to pick up,” I tell him, hooking my thumb over my shoulder.
“But you just got here.” He approaches me slowly, like if he goes too fast he might scare me away from using that key ever again. “Want me to order dinner first? Or we can go get something to eat and then go?”
“No, we should probably go right now.” I tug him toward me by his shirt.
He easily lets me and puts his hands on my hips, his thumbs coming up to caress my middle. “What could you possibly need so badly,” he says before lowering his head to my mouth and kissing me, “that you want to leave”—he kisses my jaw—“right”—then my neck—“now?”
God, his mouth feels good on me. But, before I lose my nerve, I suck in a deep breath and let the words loose. “Oh, just everything I own.”
At that, his head flies up and his gaze hits me with the weight of hope and joy. “For real?”
After I nod to confirm it, his lips land on mine. So much passion, desire, and happiness come through this kiss that my entire body lights up with excitement. Being with Aidan does that to me. All the damn time.
“You’re really moving in?” he questions, sliding his hands into my hair and holding my face.
I tip my head back and forth. “Well, I kinda have
to. Dani will probably kick me out, so…” Then I shoot a naughty smirk at him.
He gives me a look that says Like hell. We both know that would never happen, but it’s fun to joke with him anyway. But then he shocks the hell out of me by scooping me up off my feet and into his arms. After that, he dashes us toward the stairs.
“Aidan!” I shout, giggling and holding on to his neck for dear life. “My stuff is that way!” With one finger, I point toward the door, which is getting farther and farther away with every second that passes.
“Your stuff can wait, woman,” he informs me, a deep, raspy tone to his voice. “I can’t.”
Ah, the intense Aidan is back. And, if I’m being honest, he’s probably my favorite. I won’t admit it to him yet, but I like the way he tosses me around and makes decisions for me. He’d back down if I made him, but he always, always, always has my back. And he loves the hell out of me. This woman can’t complain about that.
Though it’s fast, we pass the room where he does all of his paining. Several canvases have been adorned with color. Visions only Aidan has have come through in his work, and I can’t wait to see what more he’ll work on now that his inspiration has returned and he feels free to be an artist again.
But that’ll have to wait too. Because he tosses me onto his bed, where I wouldn’t mind staying for the rest of my life—or eternity. Whichever’s longer.
That’d be more than fine by me.
***
Aidan
With Cadence about to have her baby in a month, Nic’s been getting ready to cover for her. But I decided she needed a vacation before things get crazy. I’m sure going back home wasn’t her ideal destination for time off, but there are a few things we need to do while we have the time.
Plus, I have a surprise or two up my sleeve, and at least one of them can’t happen until we’ve cleared the air with family.