by Ellie Jean
Where is Alex?
I’m confused. My head is throbbing, but nothing compares to the ache penetrating my heart.
My eyes pleading with my mother and Ben to tell me something, the doctor, I presume, finally nods and walks toward the door before looking over his shoulder.
“Ring the buzzer if you need anything, Miss Winters, and someone will be with you. You need to take it easy.” He then proceeds out the door closing it behind him.
“Where is he? Why is Alex not here with me?” My voice is octaves above where it normally is. My mind fleets back momentarily to Jared holding my hand, much like how my mother is now.
Ben walks around the opposite side of the bed to my mother, replacing where the doctor stood. My head follows him. A slight smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. I’m trying to shift my body up the bed slightly so I am sitting upright, but with each millimeter I move, my head bangs inside. I quickly stop.
Ben sits on the blue material chair alongside my bed. “You scared the hell out of us.” Mother closes her hand around mine again, Ben’s eyes spear me. “What the hell happened?” His tone is certainly not as calm as the doctors was.
Finally, my mother speaks, “Ben, stop. Isla’s head must be aching and she doesn’t need you yelling at her.”
“Don’t worry about that. Why can’t someone tell me what has happened to Alex? Is he here in this hospital too? Is he alive?” My arms start to flail. I’m getting more agitated by the second. “I need to see him, now. I need to know he is alright.”
“Sshh… Everything’s going to be fine.” My mother hushes me. Looking tenderly at me, she continues. “One of the men from the Resort who was so kindly looking after us came in to our room about an hour ago and told us to get dressed as he was taking us to the hospital because you had been hurt.” She wipes at a small tear that escapes. “That’s all he said. We are so thankful that you aren’t hurt worse. We don’t understand what is going on, Isla.” Her eyes lift to Ben’s. “Why is Dimitri not here?”
A shudder racks through my body at the mere mention of his name. I should be giving more thought to where he is. Why is he or his trusty bodyguard not here with me protecting me from the evil lurking in their world? He has a habit of knowing exactly where I am, I’m sure a public hospital would be on their radar of places to look for me. I wouldn’t put it past him to have hospital staff and the police on his payroll, alerting him of my whereabout probably before I can take one breath.
This could be a good sign. My wish of Dimitri meeting his maker may have come true.
“Don’t get me wrong, Isla, there is no way I want you to marry that ghoul of a man, but I’m surprised that he isn’t here making certain no one gets to you. I know how his clutches work, and this is unusual for him.” It’s the first time I’ve heard mother speak so candidly about Dimitri.
“I’m not marrying that maniac. Not in this lifetime.” My voice is firm. “The last few weeks have been a show. A performance to keep us all safe.”
Ben leans forward on his chair. “Safe from what? What are you keeping from us? You need to tell us the full story.” Ben’s legs are bouncing up and down. Looking up at mother, he asks. “What am I missing? Mom, what is she talking about?”
Mother actually straightens her stance and speaks. “Dimitri Sokolov is a vicious and dark man. Alex told you parts about him, but let it be known, you don’t want to cross him, ever.” Ben frowns. “He has done so much unforgivable damage to our family. Caused your father and I so much pain.” Her voice gets softer. “But I don’t want to get in to it now. Isla needs rest and peace.”
My focus drifts off. I know all about Dimitri. I have no space in my head to think about him now. I only want my thoughts to be of my heaven. Interrupting my thoughts before I can think too much about Sokolov, I ask my visitors, “Can someone please try and call Alex? I have to find out where he is.”
Ben stretches to his full height. “I’ll see what I can do, but I want answers as soon as you’re well enough, sis.” Resigned, I nod and close my eyes. Hearing his footsteps heading toward the door, my body relaxes slightly. Hopefully I will get answers to my questions soon too.
Mother releases my hand. The grind of the metal chair legs fills the room. Her warm breath reaches my cheek. She gives me a tender kiss. “I was so worried about you. I thought that evil man had taken again from me. First my husband, and then my only daughter. Does he have anything to do with this?”
Refusing to open my eyes, I can’t deal with this now.
Barely audible, I breathe, “Yes.”
“I knew it. Nothing ever good comes from that man being around.” Her voice is soft like mine.
“Mom,” my voice is lighter as I remember what happened before tonight’s ordeal. “I met Grandmother.”
Her eyes light up. “What? When?” Mother leans forward, guarded but with interest. “Where is she?”
“She left mother. She’s gone back to England.” Mother wraps her hands together. “I was with her for a day but she had to go home.” A tear has developed in mother’s eyes. Wiping them away, I reach out my hand toward her. Clasping it around mine, I squeeze it tenderly.
“Oh.”
“We sat talking for hours.” Mother sighs and wipes another tear away. “She told me everything, Mom.”
Mother’s shoulders slump and I tighten my hand around hers. “Grandmother loves you, you know.”
Lifting her tear-stained face, a smile sweeps across her features. “Tell me everything.”
I inwardly sigh. Time is going so slow. Waiting for Ben to return is agony. You think he would have tracked down Alex by now, or at least Alex would be here already. Only months ago I was working with Jules in our business, working for Dimitri at nights, resigned to how my life would unfold. Thoughts spin in my head. I need Jules, Kameron, and Alex. Where is he? Why doesn’t anyone know?
I didn’t want to get into this now with Mother, especially as I am in hospital. But I guess I’m not going anywhere. Deciding to take my mind off why Alex isn’t next to me, I start talking, revealing everything Grandmother said, never letting mother’s hand go.
“Fucking tell me she’s safe.” Yelling to anyone around me takes every ounce of energy I can urge out of my body. My body is limp against the hard surface I’m lying on. Excruciating pain radiates from my shoulder, chest, leg, and waist.
“She’s in the hospital, being taken care of. Her mother and brother are with her.” Benito’s gruff voice rings from somewhere in the room.
“Why the hell is she not here, with us?”
Heavy thuds make their way to where I am lying. “I got you out of there before anyone else showed up. The soon-to-be Boss can’t be associated with a back alley shooting.” What the fuck is he talking about? I’m not ready for that yet and I’m still deciding if I will ever be now that I have found Isla.
“Man, don’t bring that up now. I need my woman here with me where she is safe. And Dimitri…Where is his body?” Trying to keep my eyes open is tiring, but I have to find out answers.
“Liam’s keeping an eye on her at the hospital. She has the best doctor we could find. A concussion is what the doc told Liam Isla has sustained plus bruising to her body. She will make a full recovery with rest.” Shutting my eyes, I relax a fraction knowing Liam is there. I did notice though, he forgot about Sokolov.
“And the Russian bastard, where is he?” My eyes open to penetrate him when I finish the sentence.
“When I left he was lying face first on the concrete slab. I couldn’t wait. You needed urgent attention given the three bullet holes in your body.” Lighting up a cigar, he doesn’t care that I’ve just had three bullets taken out of me. “I passed the ambulance and cops as I got you out of there. I hope his body is in a body bag at the morgue by now.”
“How long have I been out? Have you got Kolton and everyone on it? We need to know where this motherfucker is.” My eyes close again.
“One thing for sure, he wasn’t moving anywh
ere fast and his henchmen were alongside him on the filthy ground where they belong.” Benito sadistically laughs.
The door to this makeshift hospital room scrapes along the floor. “Has he woken up yet?” A female voice asks.
“Yes, I have.” Slurring, my eyes refuse to open. Steps make their way to me.
“Mr. Raven, we are giving you pain medication. Your body needs to rest and recuperate for now.” Something tugs at my hand. Possibly the tube filling me with drugs. “A day or two then they can move you back to your place.”
Willing my eyes to open, mustering strength from deep within, I try to raise my shoulders from the pillows. “I need to go to my Sweetness now.” Slumping back, my voice comes out strong for a short amount of time. “It’s my job to protect and look after what is mine. I failed her the last few days but I won’t from now on. Benito, I need to be out of here in an hour.”
The small, brunette-haired lady dressed in blue scrubs smiles and injects something into the bag up beside the bed. “You will be out of here when the all clear is given, Mr. Raven. Strict orders from Stefano.” My body molds to the mattress again.
Benito moves from his place holding up the wall toward the lady who is defying my wishes. “Everything is taken care of. Rest and get strong for your woman.”
My legs fight to move from their position. I make an effort with my right hand to pull out the tube in my left. I don’t seem to be able to move anything. My brain is at war with my body. “Move, you mother fucking limbs.”
I’m not going anywhere…
“She’s going to be in hospital for a few days. Her concussion was severe. They don’t want to take any chances.”
Voices… I need to move… I need to be with Isla… My mouth is stuck… Who is in here with me?
“Is Liam still outside her room?”
“Kameron and I have visited her. Ben, her brother, rang Kam to find out where Alex is. We made a visit to her at hospital to give them some information.”
I still can’t move my betraying body…
“I’m getting too old for this bullshit.”
“You and me, both. You think it’s time?” A waft of smoke enters my lungs. Benito and his cigars. The rest of the population understands passive smoking, but not him. There is no care factor when it comes to his cigars and others. No one would ever question the dangerous, killer of a man, who has kept the Boss of our family and us safe for as long as I can remember.
“It’s time… There is no choice.”
Fuck… What are they deciding? Why can’t I move still?
“He will be the boss of The Family. There is no question about it. I need to step down. I’m getting too fucking old for this. It needs fresh, young blood to carry our name and reputation on.”
A clear, but soft voice that I have been trying to hear for what seems like forever hits my ears. Thank the Lord her exquisite body and beautiful mind is still in one piece. My eyes are glued closed, I’m sure of it. I can’t pry them apart.
“If that’s what needs to happen, then let it. I won’t stand in his way.”
“He won’t want to risk losing you. He’s already lost someone close to him because of this life. You will have to convince him you are strong enough to stand by him at the top. There are times it won’t be easy, and you will have to support and trust his decisions.”
For fuck’s sake, why won’t my mouth and eyes work? This isn’t something I want my Sweetness to listen too. Imploring my arms and legs to move, for anything on my useless body to shift, I am furious with Stefano for talking to Isla about this. Enraged with my body in this paralyzed state that I am willing to explode into a tirade so they know I can hear every word they are uttering. It’s my decision, no one else’s. I know that it is my responsibility, but I need to be the one to reassure her, that nothing will ever touch her again. That I will safeguard her from the harsh world she will be entering in. She is stronger than she knows and she will be perfect by my side. But I should be the one talking to her.
“I will do anything for him. If he needs me to be stronger, I will. I trust him already with my life, body, and soul. I don’t care who or what he is. I am his, if he still wants me.”
Fuck, she’s beautiful. After failing her multiple times, she still has faith in me. In us…
“You had better mean that, because once he comes out of this medicated state it will be his job and responsibility.”
“I love you.” With a soft breath I lean over, stating this in his ear. Touching his warm, strong arm, I don’t know what more to say. I want to scream this room down demanding he wake up now but the nurse religiously tops up his medication to keep him sedated until his body is strong enough for him to leave. They know as soon as he is awake again, he will charge out of here whether he is up to it or not.
The past week has been one of the longest in my life and I’m no stranger to grueling tests. Thinking that the one man who has given me the strength to break from my sins and past is dead for over a day was excruciating and perhaps the punishment I deserve for putting him in such a dangerous situation. And then being thankful and grateful to discover he is alive sent my mind spiraling in a completely different direction to that of the day before. But once I could see with my own eyes that the man I love, albeit motionless and helpless in a bed, made me realize with all certainty that he is who I want, more than life itself.
Being released from hospital two days ago, I begged Seth to take me to Alex. There was no way I could return to my apartment, alone… I’m not even sure if I still own it or if Dimitri sold it. Being more afraid, though, of who could be around to take me back to Dimitri, if he was still alive, I was desperate to be with the man I trust more than anyone.
My hospital stay was eventless. Routine checks, nurses and doctors interrupting my sleep when I finally had fallen asleep with sheer exhaustion. Jules came to visit once Benjamin had told her I was up for visitors, as did Kameron and Seth. Liam had been the one to approach me, when my mother and brother gave me an hour to myself the second day of me being hospitalized, to let me know Alex had survived but was getting treatment someplace else for his gunshot wounds. He gave me no news on Dimitri.
Mother had left my hospital room with mixed emotions the day I explained to her about Grandmother, returning with Benjamin the next day to tell us both her side of the story. Ben was overwhelmed but also angry for being kept in the dark all these years. I didn’t expose my past six years of torture to them. That is no longer a part of my life that defines me, locking it away deep within, never to resurface. No matter what. After our trip down memory lane, I had a new appreciation for how mother could stay with my father all of those years, even when he exposed us to the most evil man. She couldn’t deny herself her one true love. Just as I was prepared to die for Alex and my family, to be with the one man who has quickly become my world, my existence, my everything, I understand the control love has on a person.
Love is unconditional.
Love can be imperfect.
Love is being brave.
Love can wreak havoc.
Love guides you.
True love is rare.
A gentle touch lands on my shoulder. “They are going to stop his sedatives today, bringing him back to the land of the living.” Jared’s voice is full of love for his cousin. “We are lucky we didn’t lose him.”
“That is so true. I don’t even want to think about it. He’s here. He’s going to make a full recovery. We will make him take it slow.” My eyes never leave Alex. Reaching up, I place my spare hand on top of Jared’s. Hurting just as much as I am, if not more. I understand what this family means to each other. They are each other’s strength. Hurting as a group if any one of them is suffering in any way. Their bonds are indestructible. I pray he wants me to be a part of this world with him when he wakes up.
“Do you want to go in the next room to get some rest? You have been here since you were released from hospital.” The tender tone in his voice and the squeezing of
my shoulder makes my head turn for a second away from Alex. “You need your strength too. You had a concussion, Isla. You have to take it easy.”
I am so lucky to have found this man and his family. Jared truly cares for me as well. I can hear and see it in his voice. “I can’t. I have to stay in case he wakes up.”
“The nurse said he will start waking up in a couple of hours. You have time.”
“I really can’t. He has risked everything for me, I won’t miss his eyes opening.” Slowly, I leave a worried Jared looking at me and rest my eyes back on Alex.
“You’re as stubborn as he is. He definitely wouldn’t have done this for any other person. The change in him, the determination, the degree of intensity when he is with you is something I haven’t witnessed before. You have awakened his ardor, his solidness and dominance, assisting him for his new role.” My body doesn’t move, understanding what role he is talking about. The one that scares the hell out of me. Not because of the job title, or description, but because of the danger it puts Alex in. No matter what Alex’s decision is, I will stand firm and proud by his side. Protecting him and loving him as best I can. “Have no doubt, Isla. You are special. I will leave you to it.”
Straightening my shoulders a little, I thank Jared for his concern and he leaves us in peace.
Hearing the words from his Uncle Stefano yesterday confirmed what Alex had told me about his family. Stefano and Benito explained in a very short, precise way that when Alex recovered, he would take the role of The Boss. It was his time and obligation. I accepted this would be a part of my life then and there. Worried beyond belief, I showed nothing but a steely exterior. Having lived so many years with an evil man, I knew Alex was different. He may become the head of his mafia family, but he would never put me in danger’s way willingly. Alex would never use me in the way Dimitri did. He would never kill or harm anyone without an extenuating reason. And the respect and loyalty of his family would shield us all from potential threats.