by Poppet
Now I'm crying with laughter, and relief. Immediately lame with exhaustion, I lay over my lover, religiously grateful his life was spared.
“You have wings?”
“Uh huh.”
“Where were they hiding?”
“I don't know. I only discovered them earlier today.”
“Sit up, let me look at you.”
It's an effort and a half getting my arms to work. He helps, assisting me to sit upright, the wings still closed tight around us.
A curious finger traces my nipples, up my neck, over my lips, wiping my tears and examining his fingers.
“You are glorious.”
“I'm just me. I'm still me.”
“You are his soul mate. I see it now. You have the splendor of heaven in you.”
“I'm yours, and Lucierne's, too.”
“But now the two are one. You should allow yourself the same joy.”
“How can you say that?”
Grabbing the hand he's still looking at covered in my strange shimmer, I press it hard over my heart.
“Feel that? I still have a heart beating in my chest. Don't you dare break it!”
“Oh baby. I didn't mean it like that.”
The tears are shoving their brutal ache out my eyes again, a hollow emptiness engulfs my insides. “Then what did you mean?” It comes out hoarse, despairing.
Rolling us, he looks down at me with a glow behind his toffee-brown eyes. The radiance of life is obviously in him now. Happiness shows in his eyes.
“Look at me,” he holds my chin, making sure I'm staring into his eyes.
“I'm just sayin', you are special, Sarah. More precious than anything ever created. There's only one of you. And if you are happy, this whole earth will smile with you. Girl-without-parents, this is your world. As long as you keep pushing aside your own happiness for others, the world can't be happy. You have to make yourself happy, see to your own needs, and that happiness will grow like a baby in a womb. Your kin need you to lead by example. It's not selfish to put yourself first. It's what we need you to do.”
“You make me happy. So don't you go breaking my heart. Ya'll expect so much from me. All this pressure to be the first light of god. When all I ever wanted was to be cherished.”
“And you will be baby.” He kisses my nose, “I promise you, you will be.”
Chapter 25
Pulling my wings apart, breaching the seal, sending discomfort along the axillars, it's strange when I fold them, warming the backs of my legs.
I wonder if they work in flight?
“Dusty, I have a question for you.”
The way he's holding and caressing me is very distracting. I understand he's happy, but I'm still trying to put the pieces together so the puzzle makes sense.
“What's it, sugar?”
“Why didn't you recognize E-R-R-A when we came home from Enchanted Rock?”
“Why are you saying his name like that?”
“He's put a spell of some kind on me. I can't say his name without my body reacting.”
“Yep, that sounds just like him. Do you know he kept you locked up?”
“He what?”
“He kept you a secret. He didn't want any of his kind to know about you. The only way was to keep you a prisoner.”
“When?”
His expression is vacant, looking into a distant place in his head.
“I very long time ago. At least now you are free, even if he still wants to lay claim to you.”
“No wonder I went into hiding. He sounds like a right jerk.”
“He is. You have no clue what that god is capable of.”
“You didn't answer my question.”
“We are linked. He has command over the seven, always. With me being the first, it's stronger. We always feel his presence, and have to stay fairly close in case we get the call to rise against mankind again.”
“Rise against mankind?”
“Yes. The Sibitti are his army, his legion of generals. We don't wage war the way it's written. We simply wipe out humans, without discrimination. When he's had enough, he strikes down the righteous and unrighteous. He cares not who is guilty. I've seen him snap. It's been so long, mankind has forgotten what god looks like, and what he's capable of when moved to anger.”
“But he's not god.”
“To mankind he was. With weapons unheard of, it was like striking down children. Abuse started with him. I think he locked you and the other females away, so none of you could stop him.”
“There are others?”
“Yes. But you are the first. And the only one with his ability.”
“Yet I've never risen up against him?”
“No. You care, and love. You even loved him. He did things which wounded your tenderness, and that's why you left. You just couldn't take any more emotional pain. He was unjust, unfair, and you ran away out of self-preservation. It's not in you to fight the way he does. To be honest, I'm surprised at how far you've come. Now, you want to fight him. And maybe you should.”
His forefinger is tracing back and forth over my chin, as if he's talking aloud, to himself.
“Why didn't you recognize him?”
“I haven't seen him in over ten thousand years. We were sent out across the world, from Babylon. Sent to find you and return you to him. He was ready to leave, and refused to leave without you. He found you, and hid you away. But someone broke you out two thousand years ago.”
I stay quiet, waiting for my explanation.
“He's changed a little. For the seven of us, his presence is around us, all the time. So it's not like we can suddenly sense him standing before us. He's always been deceptive that way. He wanted to be able to watch and observe us without our knowledge. He often appears in different forms, so facial recognition is useless. He's a controlling commander. He's a brilliant strategist, and it was his need to keep us in check with stealth of his movements and whereabouts, that makes us blind to where he is at any given time. We can't find him unless he calls us. We have no free will. He didn't give us that. We're his to command, and we have no choice but to obey.”
“Are you saying he can force you to leave me?”
“Yes.”
“That's not right!”
“I am inciting his wrath simply being with you, when my orders are clear. When we find you, we return you to him, close the net, and prevent your flight. He'll clip your wings again.”
“Oh god.”
Tenderness is being replaced with complete fear.
“They're coming. You can bet your life on it, Sarah. The generals are coming, and he'll put you back in prison. And probably put me to death for my part in this.”
“But I love you!”
“Sarah, he had a brother. He killed his brother because of you. He will not tolerate competition when it comes to you. If you love another, he will crush the competition.”
I am a jealous god.
If there was no other god, of who could he be jealous?
Other gods, that's who.
“But, this isn't fair. This isn't his choice to make.”
“You falling in love with me, is like you falling in love with a servant of the king. The king would never allow his queen to have eyes for another.”
“Dusty, I won't let him.”
“I broke the law. The second I laid eyes on you, I knew who you were, and I would have died protecting you. I had no clue you were running from him. You may have no memory, but your instincts were spot on. And I had no intention of falling for you, but how could I help myself? You are so precious, it shines in your eyes. Those golden flecks of love so bright in them, like sunshine penetrating a cold cave. I have felt nothing at all, for so long, you awoke in me a longing to be whole like I've never had in my life. And it awoke my lust. I laid down with you hoping you'd restore me. Instantly smitten with my god's soulmate.”
“We can run.”
“No, we can't. Sarah, he's chased you forever. He never gives u
p, and we never tire. He has eternity. And you can't hide that long. This time is overdue. It's time for the first woman to rise up and crush those who desire to keep her down. Don't ever let him imprison you again. Herald a new age for women. Stand up, and fight for the truth to be known, because only the truth can set women free. Only you facing your nemesis and lover, and winning, or coming to a truce, can you ever have peace. Earth has never had peace. Never. It's time for you to fight back against injustice and oppression.”
Tears are running cold, dripping with the wild panic squeezing me from the inside.
“But I'm unprepared. And now I find out I have no time at all with which to prepare. It's an unfair fight!”
His laugh is a choked sneer. “He's never been fair. Ohpitsa, if you challenge him, it won't be you against him. It will be you against him and seven Sibitti.”
“Seven?”
“Yes. I will be forced to fight you. I have no choice.”
“Then I must strike him now. Before they get here!”
“You have only the grace period of until he calls me to his aid. He is my creator. I cannot deny him.”
“Never underestimate a woman with nothing left to lose. Love is the one thing worth fighting for.”
Diving off the bed, yanking my jeans on, I lean back over his woeful face, kissing him.
“I will find a way. But it means playing him. I must go.”
“How will you get to him?”
“I'm going to call my sugar daddy to come and fetch me. When I strike, he won't even see it coming.”
Pulling the shirt matching his back on, I'm aware the wings are no longer there. How do I master my own body while waging silent war on my creator? The god without a conscience. Killing the good with the bad. And keeping me in prison! Oh that boy is so going to get a surprise.
Ripping out my phone, I dial Erik's number.
“Hey baby. I'm ready to come home.”
I have quicksilver pumping icicles into every major organ in my body. I am exhausted, and heavy with terror. But I won't back down.
We all deserve to be free. Like the grass, and the sunshine. Even I deserve to be free, to love who I choose. To choose my own mate.
Laughing flirtatiously, I hang up. Sitting down again, I hug Dusty with every last shred of my aching heart.
Chapter 26
I'm waiting at the door, squeezing the life out of Dustin's hand, when the Viper roars up the drive.
Killing the engine, he steps out, tall, striking, and with an expression smeared in challenge.
Sauntering with a deceptively relaxed swagger, he closes the space to the front door, and my heart is pounding, my mouth dry, feeling a reflexive twitch from Dustin's hand in mine.
Erra walks up the steps, standing before Dustin, his eyes so dark, all light in them is missing. Dustin inclines his head an increment, offering my hand to Erra.
Only then does Erra smile, grasping my hand in his warm one, wrapping delicious music around me, drawing me in.
“All done?” he says to me.
“Yes. Lucierne, and Dustin, are now one.”
Erra's smile is dangerous as he surveys Dusty, “Good. It was time.”
Fear is tripping all over my skin, glossing it with the sensation of being used to do god's bidding. What does he mean?
“Say goodbye,” he orders, as if I'm a child.
I refuse to say goodbye. Suck my dick you fucking megalomaniac.
I need to stick it to him. Just to take him down a notch.
Standing on tiptoes, I kiss Dustin, tracing my free hand down his face, “I love you.”
With my hand in Erra's, his tension arcs up my arm like a bolt of lightning. It bangs my heart, spreading pain through my chest.
Dustin swallows so heavily, it looks like his Adam's apple is stuck halfway, refusing to move. His eyes never waver from Erra's.
“Come, Lili.” Erra snakes his arm around my waist, it's like a Katana, cutting into me, hurting.
Forcing me to turn, he guides me down the steps, opening the Viper's door for me, waiting for me to get in. My legs feel rusty; they are stiff, no longer fluid.
I'm going to my death, and there's nothing I can do to prevent it.
Swallowing my stomach back down, it flips between my ribs before resting in a knot, while I watch Erra walk back to Dustin.
Dusty looks defensive, but surrender is in his eyes. Even if his god struck him down right here, he would do nothing to prevent it.
Erra must seriously be one bad motherfucker for the sweetest man I know to not even try to defend himself against him. Erra's hands curl into fists, muscles arching with tension while he paces slowly in front of Dusty. From here, what they're saying makes no sense. I don't even think they're speaking English.
Snapping around, Erra moves like a graceful swallow down the steps, getting into the car with such swiftness, I'm caught staring.
The car snarls awake, spitting its disdain at the man standing at his front door, his eyes a little too bright, watching me drive away with my warden.
It's tearing me in half, I want to curl up and cry, just to lick my wounds, but this is life for you. Just when you think it can't get any worse, it chucks a toad choker all over you.
I hate you. I do. You say I can't hate you, well I think I can. Right now all I want to do is grab the wheel and plow us into a tree, head butt you, gouge your eyes out, and castrate you.
Instead, I run my palm over his immaculate thigh, smiling at him as if I'm really happy to be here. His tension visually dissolves, returning my smile, sparkles flare to life in his midnight eyes.
“You okay, princess?”
“Tired. Darn tired.”
“Let me take you home and take care of you.”
I nod, closing my eyes and resting my head wearily on the headrest, “I'd like that.”
It's a minute drive in this car, before the passenger door opens for me, and November wind blows in.
“It's cold.”
He draws me out of my seat, wrapping me against him with a gentle arm, “I'll warm you. Come.”
I honestly am tired. It's no lie.
Shepherded through the living room, he takes me down a wide passage to double doors. They open as he approaches, revealing a deep cavity of white warmth. It's like my home, all white and welcoming. A bed large enough for eight, stands far across the room against the wall, the linen so stark and well pressed, I just want to crawl in there and sleep my worries away.
Looking at the hearth, a roaring fire jumps to immediate attention before this god of creation, licking its heat into the room.
He seats me on the edge of the bed, dropping to his haunches, undoing my left shoelace.
“I'll get you some cocoa. Why don't you curl up and get some rest?”
“Don't leave me.”
I mean it. I don't want him to have time to call the troops. I need him to want to be alone with me.
His smile is indulgent. “I won't be long. Rest, princess. I'm here.”
Nodding, I let him assist me in undressing, floating between the covers and cozied snugly all around with voluminous bedding.
If god slays me now, so be it. The tranquillity in this room is at such odds with my heartache and fear, I'm tempted to cave in and just enjoy it.
But I force myself to stay awake until he returns, carrying a steaming mug of frothy chocolate.
Patting the bed next to me, I inject lust into my voice, “Hold me?”
I watch him try to hide a smug smile from me, deliberately taking his tight black shirt off, exposing his mesmerizing perfection to dancing firelight.
Sipping my cocoa, I wonder if it's drugged. How would a god plot dominion? I know the stories, he has to physically do things. I remember when he went down to Lot, to see if the rumors were true. He's not the God who knows how many hairs are on my head, who knows my heart because he lives in me, no - this is the god who was physically here, casting a shadow in the desert during the Exodus, from his craft up h
igh. The pieces are falling, like sand creating a dune, shifting into place with haunting wails.
What Erra does – he has to do physically, he was restricted when he gave up his divinity to live here, to create life, to serve him.
Slipping under the covers next to me, I relinquish the mug to rest my head on his chest, tracing his delectable strength with my nails. Skin to skin, I feel like a Greek goddess, about to poison her husband so she can take a new lover.
“What's wrong, Lili? You aren't the same.”
Using my pain, I press for advantage. The bitter tears slip out, moistening his skin with golden rivers. I'm a little shocked, watching my gorgeous tears run down his chest.
“My heart aches, Erra. I did it. But when it happened, I felt as if I lost something precious, deep inside me.”
“Did he hurt you?”
Sniffing, I shake my head against him, “No.”
“Did Lucierne?”
I shake my head again, snuggling up tight against him.
“I need comfort.”
A strong arm wraps around my shoulders, holding me to him, the other hand strokes my hair. Tinkling and humming fills the room, filtering peace into me.
“You are safe. Thank you for healing my creation.”
“I don't want to do it again. Maybe that's why I turned you down the first time? I think I lose a part of me in the process.”
Velvet soft lips butterfly across my forehead. “Oh, sweetheart. I'm sorry.”
My heart is breaking. It's got a crag so deep in it now, it's splintering into floating continents.
Sobbing, letting him think he did this to me, which he did, just not the way he thinks, he rocks me, seeping his strength into me, the soothing embrace of god-given calm and might.
It dawns on me that I can drain him like this. Make him just that little bit weaker. Soaking it in, I kiss his neck, urging him to give me what I need, so I can smite him with his own power.
Chapter 27
I laid the guilt on so thick, it was suffocating smog in his lungs. No longer tired or sore, I let Erra bleed his strength into me, massaging my back, shoulders, scalp, using his magic to warm and soothe me, giving me bones even Goliath couldn't break.