As she filled a small bottle with filtered water, she felt the unexpected prickle of tears in her eyes. This was just one more moment to remind her what she’d lost with Jeff’s recklessness. Her dreams of having a family had been shattered, creating a new reality that was so much harder than she ever imagined. He’d left her to raise a child alone all so he could get a hand job on a winding road.
“Claire?”
Claire quickly batted her tears away and sniffed. She tightened the bottle’s cap and turned to face him. “It’s ready. How is she doing?”
Luca watched her with concern as he took the bottle. “I think she’ll be okay. I’m not so sure about you, though.”
“Me?” She must not have done as good a job of hiding her emotions as she thought.
“Eva’s going to be fine, you know. There’s nothing to be worried about.”
Claire nodded in agreement. “I know.”
“Okay, so what is bothering you then?”
That was a loaded question. “Something. Everything. Don’t worry about me, Luca, really. Lately, I seem to have too many hot buttons for life to push.”
Luca adjusted Eva in his arms and gave her the bottle. “Is it the kiss? Did I press you too quickly?”
“No,” she admitted. “The kiss was...lovely. Probably not the best idea for us, but I don’t regret it.”
“Then did I overstep with Eva tonight? I’m sorry if that’s it, but you seemed a bit overwhelmed and I wanted to help. My youngest sister had a lot of ear infections when she was little and was prone to fevers. I’ve spent more than a few nights up with my mother bathing fussy babies.”
That explained a lot. Despite being a mother, Claire was learning as she went. As an only child, she didn’t have any experience caring for children. Her every move was a mix between her research and maternal instincts. “No, that’s not it, either. Thank you for all your help with her. You’re right, I was feeling a little frazzled in the moment and was glad to have someone step in. I shouldn’t need help, but it’s nice to have it every now and then.”
Luca placed a comforting hand on Claire’s shoulder. The warmth of him against her bare skin reminded her of his earlier touches, sending a shiver running down her spine. It wasn’t just about temperatures, though. The simple feel of his large, strong hands on her body was enough for her to want to pick up where they’d left off a few minutes ago.
Suddenly, she was aware of how close Luca was and how good he smelled. It had been a long time since she’d been touched by a man, even in comfort. For some reason, that combination along with Luca’s radiating masculinity was more than she could take. Of course she’d given into it. Any woman in her position would have. He told her she was beautiful. They had a child together. He kissed her as if there was nothing more in the world he could ever desire. But once the spell of their kiss faded away, she knew that nothing more could come of it.
There was a wall up when it came to Luca. She could tell the moment their discussions went off into uncomfortable territory for him. Even the most harmless questions about his high-school prom seemed to set a glaze over his eyes. The answers that followed felt hollow and inauthentic. Not necessarily that he was lying, but that his response was practiced. Claire had her fair share of practiced speeches with Jeff as he successfully hid his infidelity. She wasn’t about to make that mistake twice, even with a man who was ten times more thoughtful and charming than Jeff ever was.
“You’re a mother, tesorina, not a superhero. It’s okay to accept help.”
“Thank you.” Claire knew that, at least in theory. Putting it into practice was harder. Aside from Daisy, she didn’t really have anyone to lean on for help. Despite the messy circumstances, perhaps having Luca in Eva’s life wouldn’t be so bad. There would be someone else she could call when she needed help, and when Eva stayed with her father, Claire would get the occasional break to recharge and relax. She didn’t realize just how much she needed that until this moment. She wasn’t quite ready to just give in on the custody agreement yet, but she was starting to see the silver lining of the situation.
“I’ll stay up with her for a while if you want to go back to bed.”
Claire immediately felt anxious about his offer. It was one thing to let him help and another entirely to let him take over. She hated questioning his every motivation, but she couldn’t be naive. What could he tell the judge then? That when Eva was sick, he was the one who had to care for her? No, thanks. “That won’t be necessary,” she said, reaching to take Eva from his arms. “I was having trouble sleeping anyway. I’m going to stay up until she starts feeling better.”
Luca didn’t immediately release Eva. He watched Claire suspiciously, and she fought to swallow the onset of an unexpected yawn. “I think the sandman is ready for you now. My time will come later. We’ll be fine, I promise. Go back to bed. I’ll wake you up if something happens. Otherwise, I’ll rock her until she falls back to sleep and put her in her crib.”
Claire was resistant, but she could tell by the firm, yet gentle expression on Luca’s face that he would insist. Perhaps he was just being nice and not looking for ammunition to use against her in court. Her eyelids were getting too heavy for her to argue any longer. “Okay, thank you. I’ll leave the door open to the bedroom.”
“Good night,” he said with Eva snuggled into his arms.
She could tell that Eva would probably be asleep before she was. Not much to worry about, then. She reluctantly returned to her bedroom and burrowed beneath the down comforter. With the late night emotional highs, quickly came the lows. Before she knew it, she crashed.
The last thought as she drifted to sleep was how Luca’s lips had felt as they pressed against hers. And she wondered—would she ever feel that again?
* * *
It seemed as though she’d just closed her eyes when she opened them to daylight streaming through the window. Claire sat up in bed, noticing the bedroom door was still open and the crib remained empty. If Eva hadn’t fallen asleep, why hadn’t Luca woken her up?
Climbing from bed, she pulled on her robe and returned to the living room. She expected to find them milling around the kitchen or out on the deck, but it seemed as though things hadn’t gone as Luca planned. There on the couch under a chenille blanket, she found Luca and Eva. Both were asleep, with Eva curled into a little ball on his chest. Claire stood there for a moment, watching the two of them together. It was precious. They both made the same little grumpy faces while they dreamed, their brows drawn together and their lips pouty in sleepy consternation. She wanted to capture the memory of them together like this and never forget it.
“Good morning.”
Claire was startled to notice Luca’s eyes had opened, and he was watching her as closely as she was watching him. “Morning. You two look pretty cozy.”
Luca looked down at the infant drooling on his bare chest. “I guess so. We must’ve conked out pretty quickly after you went to bed. I don’t think I’ve moved an inch the whole night.” He sat up slowly as to not disturb the baby, groaning softly as he stretched his stiff limbs. “What time is it?”
“A little after nine.”
“Wow.” Luca ran one hand through the messy waves of his hair and shook his head. “I haven’t slept that late in years.”
Claire approached him and held out her arms to relieve him of Eva for a while. “I’ll take Eva. Why don’t you take a shower to loosen up, and I’ll make us all some breakfast.”
Luca stood and handed off the sleeping infant. “Please make coffee. Strong, black coffee.”
“I can do that.”
He started toward the staircase, but before he could reach it, Claire said, “Luca?” He stopped and turned. “I wanted to say thank you.”
“For what?” he asked.
“For last night.”
He gave
her a guilty smirk in response. “Which part? The part where I lost control and almost took you against the refrigerator? Or the part where I pushed you aside to take care of Eva when I could tell you didn’t want me to?”
That was a good question. The words had leaped from her lips before she’d really thought them through. “Both, maybe. The combination of those two things gave me a little taste of what it’s like to have someone in my life again. To help me, to hold me. It was nice.”
“I know what you mean,” he said. “I think you and I have both gotten too used to being alone. My mother is always reminding me that’s not how people are supposed to live. I’m starting to think she’s right.”
“I may not know you that well, but from what I’ve seen you’re a good man, Luca. The woman you let into your life would be very lucky.”
A sadness Claire didn’t understand washed over Luca’s face. Why would a compliment like that steal the light from his eyes so quickly when her angry insults of the past didn’t seem to make the slightest dent in his armor?
“Thank you,” he said, but she got the feeling he didn’t believe it, just as she didn’t believe it when he told her she was beautiful. They both seemed to have a lot of doubts when it came to their self-worth and value to the opposite sex. Claire knew why she felt that way, but Luca? He was an attractive, thoughtful and wealthy businessman with a way of complimenting a woman so her knees turned to butter. She wasn’t sure why he wasn’t fighting women off with a stick. He wasn’t the kind of man she needed in her life, but he would be a great choice for any other woman.
Claire wanted him to know that she really meant what she’d said, that it wasn’t just some flattery. “I wish I’d found a man more like you when I was younger and looking for someone to start my life with. If I had, perhaps I wouldn’t be a widow wondering how her life went off track.”
The sadness faded away and Luca’s jaw tightened along with his grip on the banister. He looked up at her with eyes that reflected a confusing combination of regret and irritation. “If I were you, I wouldn’t waste my wishes on a man like me,” he said, and headed downstairs.
Six
Luca sat in a beach chair quietly scowling. Claire was with Eva as they carefully splashed in the waves. The baby was wearing a rainbow-striped swimsuit with ruffles on her bottom, although most of her was held out of the water by her mother. Eva would squeal every time the cold water rushed over her feet, then giggle as if it was the greatest thing she’d ever experienced. If Claire let go of her hands, Eva would grab fistfuls of wet sand and mush them between her fingers.
It should’ve been a happy and amusing sight for Luca. He should be out there in the freezing water with his daughter. Instead, he was sitting at a distance, practically pouting beneath his ball cap and sunglasses. He had no reason to pout, really. He’d succeeded in pushing Claire away. That was what he’d wanted to do, or at least what he felt he had to do when she got that moony look in her eyes. He might have slipped up the other night and let himself get carried away physically, but that didn’t change the fact that he was not the man for Claire. He wasn’t a romantic savior there to sweep in and rescue her from her loneliness. It was better that she learn that now rather than later.
And yet the past few days had been miserable. At first, Claire had been focused on Eva and caring for her as she got over her illness. When the baby was well, she continued to keep her distance. She wasn’t rude, but she wasn’t as open and chatty as she had been before.
He should’ve been content that she got the message. Instead, Luca was surprised to find himself missing their talks. He’d also found himself lying in bed at night thinking about the kiss they’d shared in the kitchen. Lord help him, he couldn’t stop himself. Once he got a taste of her, it was as if something had been unleashed deep inside him. Every touch, every soft sound she made, urged him on. If Eva hadn’t woken up with that fever, he wasn’t sure what would’ve happened.
He could tell that Claire was relieved by the interruption. They’d been caught up in the moment. Time and perspective would prove it wasn’t the best idea in their situation. It didn’t change how much he wanted her, though. The next morning, when she seemed more open to the idea than he expected, he wasn’t sure what to do. Claire was not a casual romance type of woman, that was obvious. He’d done a better job of charming her than he’d intended to, and suddenly he found himself in a position he hadn’t expected.
So he pushed back. It was the best thing to do, really. Claire deserved a relationship with a man who could give her everything she wanted, including love and another child. That wasn’t going to be Luca, no matter how badly he ached for her. It was better to put a stop to all this before it went too far.
Looking back out at the sea, Luca couldn’t help but admire Claire’s figure on display. Despite her claims of excess baby weight, she looked great in her shorts and bikini top. Her skin was golden from their time at the beach, and the blond in her hair seemed to be picking up some lighter streaks from the sun. Her curves were highlighted by the halter cut of the bikini, giving him a tantalizing glimpse of her full breasts.
There was nothing not to like about Claire. That was the problem. It was too easy to like her. Too easy to find a reason to touch her. His blood would sing in his veins whenever he caught a whiff of her scent. There was a restlessness in every muscle when he lay alone thinking about her upstairs in the dark. It was as if his body knew they had a child together and was ready to start on another one as soon as possible.
And if Luca could provide that for her, he might be in the water instead of sulking in his chair. But he couldn’t. Luca would rather live his life a bachelor than a disappointment to the woman he loved. His only alternative would be to find a woman who couldn’t have children of her own. They didn’t exactly walk around advertising that fact, however.
Looking back at the water, he noticed Claire and Eva had moved to drier sand to play with the plastic bucket and shovel they’d carried to the beach with them. Looking at the dark curls of his daughter, all he could do was shake his head. What a bizarre twist of fate that would give him a child. It was like a perfectly imperfect storm that brought two people together to have a child neither of them expected to have.
Wait a minute... Luca sat up taller in his chair. Claire may very well be that woman. She hadn’t spoken extensively about her fertility issues, but she had to have some or she wouldn’t have been at the clinic. He’d avoided the subject, as well. He didn’t like people knowing he had cancer, much less the kind he’d had.
Luca wasn’t the type to really believe in fate, but life certainly seemed to be convincing him otherwise. What if Claire was the chance he’d never let himself believe in? If he let their attraction evolve into a relationship, this could be his second chance. It would work out perfectly. They already had a child together. If they were to marry, it would tidy up the whole custody situation. He’d get the full-time family he wanted, and Claire wouldn’t have to be away from Eva when it was his weekend.
Claire approached his chair with a sand-covered baby in her arms. “I’m going to hose this little monkey off and put her down for a nap.”
“Okay. I’ll pack up and be back at the house in a few minutes.”
He watched Claire disappear, their dating scenario playing out in his mind. Wooing her was the perfect solution. It had been dropped in his lap, really. They’d both benefit from the scenario. Claire would get a full-time father for Eva and a man to treat her the way she deserved to be treated. Luca would get the family he never thought he’d have, and he’d get his mother off his back once and for all. It would be nice to have someone to come home to, to talk to. His apartment was becoming unbearably empty.
Never mind the fact that he’d finally get to touch her. Seducing Claire would be the best part of this plan. No holding back, no excuses, no interruptions. He’d get to run his hands along
those long legs and cup her breasts in his needy palms. Luca was hardly celibate, but thinking about Claire made him as eager as a virgin. And as nervous.
He’d only attempted to be in a relationship once before, and it hadn’t ended well. Even if he’d wanted to try again, he’d hardly had the time. The best he could manage was a few dates with a woman before things got in the way and she’d break it off. Aside from Jessica, he’d never even dated a woman long enough to consider her his girlfriend, much less look ahead to her being his wife. Could he do it now for his daughter’s sake?
Reluctantly, Luca got up from his chair and started gathering their things in a bag. With every toy he stuffed inside, the more certain he became that the answer was yes. He’d do anything for that little girl. She was the child he never expected, and he wanted her to have a real family. Despite what Claire thought, he didn’t want Eva shuttled back and forth between households, caught up in visitation agreements and who gets which holidays. That meant taking a chance on having that real family with Claire.
But would Claire want anything to do with him? He’d pretty much told her he wasn’t a candidate for any of her romantic notions. She’d had an unhappy marriage and wouldn’t settle for the same this time. She’d want love and passion and everything that went with it. Luca would happily give her the passion and attention she needed. Love was another matter. He’d already made the mistake of giving that too freely once, and it had blown up in his face. That could happen with Claire, too, if he wasn’t careful.
He slung the bag over his shoulder and started back up the sandy path through the dunes. He knew that if Claire found out what was wrong with him, she would feel betrayed, bringing up all the emotions of her first husband’s infidelity. To protect himself from the possibility of being hit with emotional shrapnel, he’d have to keep his emotions soundly out of the equation.
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