by Anders Grey
I nudged Rowan out of the booth. “Come on,” I murmured. “Let’s go to the bathroom. You need to get out of those wet ones before I can give you a change of clothes.”
Rowan hung his head all the way to the men’s room. I was grateful to find it empty. When Rowan didn’t immediately take his soggy shirt off, I reached for the hem.
“What are you doing?” he asked, eyes wide as he grabbed my wrist.
“I’m taking this off so you don’t get cold and wet,” I said.
“I can do it myself,” he mumbled.
But when he reached for the bottom of the shirt, I noticed he was only using one hand. He kept the other one curled at his side the way a limping animal held an injured paw.
“Rowan, what’s wrong with your other hand?” I asked.
“Nothing.”
He was lying and I knew it. “Rowan.”
“What?” he snapped.
Our eyes met, stormy blue and calm green.
“I know our relationship is a lie,” I said softly. “But I don’t want us to lie to each other.”
The ferocity in Rowan’s eyes died down and some of the tension left his shoulders. He let out a sigh as he lifted his curled hand and wordlessly opened his palm. I gasped when I saw the bright red drops of blood, stark against his pale skin.
“Rowan,” I said, gently grasping his wrist. “What happened?”
“When the glass broke, a loose shard must’ve fallen on the seat and I jammed my hand on it,” he mumbled, keeping his eyes averted.
“Shit. I see the piece of glass.” I quickly pulled my camera bag closer and fished out a pair of tweezers. “Hold still.”
He raised a brow. “Where’d that come from?”
“I always keep basic first aid stuff in my bag for minor injuries,” I explained. “Beats hauling ass all the way back to a hotel when I’m out in the field.”
Rowan hissed as I carefully picked out the shard with the tweezers. I discarded it in the trash can.
“Go wash up, then let me put some antiseptic on it,” I told him.
Rowan obeyed, returning to me with damp hands smelling of soap. I wet a cotton swab with antiseptic and rubbed it over the wound then put a bandage on top.
“There,” I said. “Good as new. Thankfully, it wasn’t too deep.”
Rowan turned his hand over, examining the strip of bandage. He seemed much more relaxed now. “Thanks, Alec,” he murmured. “I appreciate it. And, um, thanks for not making a big deal out of it.”
“How so?”
Rowan shrugged. “Like threatening to sue the waitress or whatever.”
“That’s ridiculous. Why would I? It was just an accident.”
“Then I’ve dated people who were ridiculous, I guess.” As I mulled over the list of people I’d known Rowan had dated, he suddenly stopped, and the usual blush returned to his pale cheeks. “Er, not to imply that we’re dating. I know we’re not.”
I smiled. “I know what you meant.”
After a moment of keen interest in the floor tiles, Rowan glanced up at me again. “We should head back before Mom and Tiffany assume we’re having sex in the bathroom or something.”
“Would that really be so bad?” I asked, grinning. At his shocked and blushing reaction, I added, “The assumption part.”
Rowan let out a squeak then furrowed his brow and shoved the men’s room door open.
I grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him back. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”
“What?” He remembered at once that he was shirtless. “Oh.”
I chuckled and slipped my button-up shirt off, revealing the simple white t-shirt beneath it. It wasn’t exactly proper attire for a nice restaurant, but I didn’t care if it meant Rowan wouldn’t sit there soaking wet and cold during dinner.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Yes. Now hurry and put it on before they really do assume we’re doing naughty things in here.”
Rowan took the shirt and snorted. “Trust me, they already think that.”
“Do you think Kaitlyn believes us yet?” I asked.
“We were being pretty lovey-dovey at the table,” Rowan replied.
My lip quirked. “You think sitting close together and leaning on each other is lovey-dovey?”
Rowan grumbled something incomprehensible as he buttoned up the shirt. It was a little long on him, given my height, but his solid chest filled it out nicely. When he left the bottom of the shirt untucked, I raised a brow.
“It looks tidier if you tuck it in, you know,” I said. “May I?”
Rowan didn’t object when I tucked in the extra fabric, careful not to show any wrinkles—and careful not to go too deep in his pants. He didn’t cause a fuss when I did the backside, either. With my hands so close to his ass, my active imagination leapt to images of Rowan pressed against the bathroom wall while my hands roamed down his sides. I cleared my throat and stepped back.
“There,” I said. “You look sharp. Handsome.”
Rowan’s lips were a soft pout as he examined himself in the mirror. He checked his reflection from different angles until he smiled.
“Not bad. Thanks, Alec. For, uh, making sure I didn’t want out there half-naked. And for the bandage.” A shy, mischievous look flickered across his face. “The list of things I owe you just keeps getting longer, huh?”
I can think of a good way to repay me. The naughty half-joke was right on the tip of my tongue, but it was too dangerous to let slip. I didn’t want to open the Pandora’s Box of fucking someone I couldn’t have.
Instead, I took him by the arm and said, “You don’t owe me anything. Now let’s get back before Kaitlyn comes knocking.”
9
Rowan
When we returned to the hotel, I was ready to pass out. But when Mom pulled me aside before we parted for our separate rooms, I instantly went on alert. She had that glint in her eye that said I’m about to talk to you about something important, which was usually not a good thing.
“I’ll go on ahead,” Alec said, recognizing it was meant to be a private conversation. He wore an easygoing smile. “See you in a bit, Rowan.”
I smiled back. “See you.”
After Alec disappeared inside, Mom smiled at me. “You really do like this guy, don’t you?”
I groaned. “Mom.”
“What?” She put her hands on her hips. “I can’t be glad to see my son happy?”
“I’m thirty-one. I’m a grown man. But you’re treating me like I’m in middle school and have my first crush or something.”
“Well, it’s not that far off, is it? After Kyle, you—”
My throat went tight. “I don’t want to talk about Kyle, okay?”
Mom frowned. I saw her gearing up to ask why, but that was another conversation I didn’t want to have right now, so I cut her off.
“Yes, I like Alec,” I said. “He’s a nice guy. He’s caring and funny.” And it doesn’t hurt that he’s hot as fuck.
I remembered how Alec had taken care of me at the restaurant. Not just the whole act of pretending to be boyfriends—which was a feat in and of itself—but nursing my wound, bandaging me up, and giving me his jacket so I wouldn’t be cold. That was a lot of effort just for someone faking a relationship. He didn’t need to go that extra mile, yet he did anyway. It deeply endeared me to him.
Mom seemed satisfied with that response. “You two were sweet during dinner. And you looked so happy. I haven’t seen you like that in a long time.”
Her smile wavered and I braced myself, worried she might bring up Kyle again, but instead she brought up something painfully bittersweet.
“Not since your dad…”
I felt stung—not for my sake, but for hers. I thought I did a decent job of hiding my feelings. Had I been visibly upset? I regretted letting my emotions slip up, because I didn’t want to hurt my mom that way.
I gave her a tight hug. “It’s okay, Mom.”
“I know, baby.” She sighed and rubbed my
back. Her voice was steady, and I was glad she wasn’t about to cry. When she pulled back, her eyes were a bit wet, but she smiled anyway. “All right, don’t let me keep you any longer. You go have fun with Alec now.” She winked. “And be safe, if you know what I mean.”
I groaned. “Goodnight, Mom.”
After escaping her innuendos, I slipped back into the room where Alec was waiting for me. I stopped mid-step when I saw him. While I was talking with Mom, Alec must have changed into his pajamas, which consisted of a black graphic T-shirt with a bear on it and red flannel boxers.
My eyes roamed down his crossed legs, which were covered in a smattering of thick, dark blond hair. The hair on his head was windswept again, the same way it had been the first time I met him, even though it wasn’t windy outside. But instead of annoying me, it only attracted me to him more. Something about the casual way he sat there and watched me watch him was so—
“Good talk?” Alec asked.
“Uh. Yeah.”
Staring. You’re staring.
I ripped my eyes off Alec. “I’m gonna wash up.”
This time I actually remembered to bring my clothes to the bathroom. The idea of jacking off again before bed was tempting, but I decided against it. Two times in one day about the same man—the man I’d have to share an open room with tonight—was probably pushing my luck.
I caught my reflection in the mirror and made sure I looked decent before heading back out. I sat next to Alec on the bed. Thankfully it was a king-sized bed, so there was plenty of room to keep a healthy distance. Didn’t want to sit too close to him when we were in private and didn’t need to keep up a charade, even though the thought of cuddling up next to him was painfully tempting.
“What are we watching?” I asked, nodding to the TV where Alec had put some nature program on.
“Extreme Mountain Lads.”
I snorted. “What? That sounds fake. You made that up.”
Alec grinned. “Nope. It’s about these two survivalist guys who get lost in the wilderness on purpose and have to use their tools and wits to survive for a week before a chopper comes to rescue them.”
“Is that legal?”
“To be an idiot? Of course.”
I chuckled. “Is this something you watch often?”
“I may or may not own the first two seasons on DVD.”
I laughed and then felt embarrassed for being so loud. But Alec grinned right along with me and my shame evaporated. It was strangely easy to have fun with him. I wondered if his cologne was laced with THC or something.
“How’s your hand?” Alec asked.
I’d already forgotten about my injury. I put out my palm. Wordlessly, Alec took my hand in his. His touch was warm, making my heart skitter.
“It’s a bit inflamed, but I think you’ll live,” he decided.
Even though I didn’t want to, I pulled back my hand because it felt like what I was supposed to do. “Thanks, doctor. Did you learn all your first aid from Extreme Mountain Lads?”
“I’ve picked up a thing or two,” Alec said. “Though most of their injuries come from doing stupid shit like eating weird berries or picking fights with horny bobcats.”
Hearing him talk about his dumb show, I found myself smiling. His enthusiasm was contagious.
We watched the rest of the episode, laughing and gasping and groaning at the men’s antics. I was disappointed when the episode ended because I’d had such a good time watching it with Alec.
Then, I realized we’d gotten closer over the course of the episode. Literally.
As I shifted, Alec’s elbow bushed against mine. Instead of jerking it back, he just smiled and went back to watching TV. Damn him and his easygoing nature. Now I was hyperaware of our arms touching, which shouldn’t even have been a big deal, but of course it was for me. Combined with my temptation to jack off earlier, the touch of Alec’s bare skin on mine sent an electric jolt down my spine.
It’s nothing. It’s literally nothing. You’re two guys who happen to be touching elbows, for fuck’s sake. Stop acting like a virgin.
Thankfully, the next words out of Alec’s mouth put a stop to any thoughts of arousal. “So, what were you talking about with Kaitlyn?”
I shifted in my seat. “Just about you and me.”
“Did it seem like she believed us more?”
I nodded. “She said I looked… happy.”
Alec’s bright smile made my chest felt feel cottony and warm. “That’s good.”
I didn’t know why, but I wanted to say more. The quiet moment we shared in the privacy of our hotel room seemed open and welcoming, like the spread of outstretched arms waiting for an embrace.
“I, um…” Uncertainty pulled me back before the words could spill out. “Never mind.”
“What’s up?”
The walls that momentarily eased down flew right back up. I felt embarrassed for allowing them to lower, even for a moment.
But when Alec put his hand to my knee and warmth bloomed from the site of his touch, I let out a soft sigh I didn’t know I’d been holding. His gentle eyes, green and calm as a summer sea, watched me carefully.
“Did something happen, Rowan?” he asked.
When he said my name, I barely held back a shudder. It went straight to my core, grabbed those walls, and forced them down. I gave up and let Alec in—for now.
“Nothing bad happened,” I told him. “Mom just said I hadn’t looked so happy since before my dad died.”
I saw the flash of shock and sympathy in Alec’s gaze. “I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I said, knowing it was never really okay, but that’s what people said regardless. “It was a long time ago.”
“The pain is still real,” Alec said. His grip on my knee tightened, a firm reminder of his presence.
“Thanks.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “I’ve never mentioned it to anyone, so sorry if it’s awkward.”
“Not at all.” He smiled. “I’m grateful you trust me enough to tell me.” Maybe it was a trick of the light, but for a moment I thought I saw a blush on his cheeks. “And I’m glad you’re happy enough for your mom to notice it, too.”
My heart fluttered like a baby bird. I swallowed thickly. This was way too much attention on me. I turned the volume on the TV up, hoping another episode of Extreme Mountain Lads would hurry and come on.
“Too much pressure?” Alec asked. It wasn’t teasing or malicious, though, just a genuine question.
“A little,” I admitted. I brought my knees up to my chest and rested my chin on them. “It’s a lot of attention at once. Not used to people being so…”
“So what?”
“Tolerant of me, I guess.”
Alec snorted. “What’s there to be tolerant of? You’re a good guy, Rowan.”
“I’m quirky,” I said with a hint of bitterness—the same one I’d heard used for people describing me when they were too polite to say weird.
“And that’s bad?” I heard the smile in his voice even without turning to see it.
“It puts people off when they realize how high-maintenance I am. I’m nervy and anxious.”
Alec rumbled a laugh. “If you’re trying to scare me off or something, you’re gonna have to do a better job.”
“I’m not trying to scare you. I’m just being honest.”
He leaned closer and I bristled, but not because I was uncomfortable. I wanted him, and that’s exactly what I was afraid of.
This can’t work. It won’t. No matter how badly my dick wants it.
But Alec seemed intent on making it difficult. He was so close that I felt his breath ghost across my skin, and I barely held back a shiver. Mental images of Alec on his knees in the shower danced in my mind, and I desperately willed them to disappear.
“Rowan,” Alec began, his voice kind. “You know when you asked me about the motel earlier and we both agreed we had things better left private?”
The question took me off gua
rd, piquing my interest. “Yeah?”
Alec hesitated. “Well, I—”
The sharp, jarring sound of my phone’s text message sound effect made me nearly jump out of my skin.
“Fuck.” I grabbed the phone, pissed off and ready to throw it across the room when I saw the text was from Mom. I deflated and opened it with a groan. “It’s the itinerary. She forgot to send it to me earlier.”
Alec looked a little shaken, too, with his hair puffed out like a spooked orange cat. “Right. What’s it say?”
“Trip to the Butterfly Conservatory.”
Alec’s eyes lit up like fireworks. “Yes! That’s a perfect chance for me to get some shots!”
I was happy for him, but at the same time I wished Mom’s ill-timed text hadn’t interrupted our moment. It would be rude to bring the topic up again, so I settled for not knowing whatever it was Alec was going to reveal.
Alec leapt off the bed, also to my disappointment, and made his way to the couch in the corner.
“Better get to sleep,” he said. “I wanna be rested for this!”
“Yeah,” I mumbled.
Stupid butterflies.
10
Alec
I loved butterflies. Not only were they gorgeous creatures, they were also perfect photography subjects. Readers of nature magazines always gobbled up good butterfly shots. You couldn’t go wrong with them.
As soon as we arrived at the dome-shaped conservatory, I turned into a kid in a candy store, salivating at the thought of all the colors and shapes and practically shaking from excitement—except the candy was poisonous and I wouldn’t actually be eating any of it.
Sulking beside me, Rowan didn’t seem quite so enthusiastic. He’d mumbled something about sleeping poorly last night, which part of me doubted since he had a king-sized mattress to sprawl on, but I didn’t pry.
“He’s just shy around big crowds,” Kaitlyn assured me. In a louder voice, she added to Rowan, “But the family’s going to be so excited to see you, Rowan. Try to put on a smile. Look how happy your boyfriend is!”
“I’ll do my best to smile enough for the both of us,” I promised Kaitlyn, putting my arm around Rowan and giving her a beaming grin.