by Anders Grey
“I know, right?” I smiled, then let my expression fall back to serious. “But there’s something you need to know. I broke up with Mark because he was cheating on me.”
Tiffany stared at me, her eyes half-glazed. I couldn’t tell if she believed me or not. When she finally spoke, all she said was, “Huh?”
“He wasn’t faithful, Tiffany,” I said gently. “He hurt me really bad. He broke my heart.”
Tiffany frowned. “No, he… I mean, he wouldn’t do that to me. He’s not like that. He’s changed now, he’s different.”
I wondered if she really thought that or if she was trying to convince herself.
“Maybe he has changed,” I said. “But you should know the entire truth before you go through with anything big, you know?”
Tiffany bit her lip. “Rowan said the same thing. That Mark had cheated before.”
“I told him about my past,” I said. “He didn’t tell you why he knew because he was trying to protect me.”
Tiffany lowered her face into her hands and groaned. “This is all too much.”
I put my hand on her shoulder, hoping it was some small comfort. “I’m sorry. I know it hurts to hear, but it’s better to hear it now than later.”
She lifted her head with a bitterly sad frown. Tears glittered in the corners of her eyes. “How do I know you’re telling the truth?” she demanded, but her defiance was half-hearted. “Mark’s never mentioned you, so…”
I shrugged. “Why would he mention an ex he cheated on? He obviously moved on.”
Tiffany’s eyes were clouded. As she took a sip of her drink and sighed, I felt a surge of sympathy for her.
I gave her a gentle smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your evening.”
Tiffany sniffed and rubbed the heel of her hand against her eyes, wiping the tears away. “It’s okay. Thanks, I guess. I’ll… I’ll think about what you said.”
She still seemed hesitant to believe me, but in her situation, I didn’t blame her.
“Does that mean you’re still mad at Rowan?” I asked.
She sighed deeply. “I dunno. No, I guess not.” Her lips turned into a pout. “I hate being mad at him. It sucks. I’ll talk to him later when my brain’s not mush.”
I chuckled. “Good idea.”
I offered a hand to help her to her feet. She took it and we headed back to the bar area together, but before we split off, Tiffany grasped my sleeve.
“Please don’t tell anyone else about this, okay?” she mumbled. “I don’t want this to turn into a big family drama thing.”
“Never,” I promised.
She sighed again then put on her best brave smile. “Thanks, Alec.”
I watched her go and find Mark among the crowd. He greeted her with a peck on the lips, which she returned. She had a lot of courage. If I’d just found out my fiancé hid a past of cheating from me, I wouldn’t be able to mingle with him so easily. Then again, I wasn’t sure if Tiffany even believed me or not.
Regardless, the weight was lifted off my shoulders. I was glad Tiffany hadn’t freaked out at me for revealing my secret, but that didn’t mean this was over yet. For now, all we could do was wait for Tiffany to make the next move.
With that over, I faced the bar and scanned for Rowan. I couldn’t see him. I glanced around, searching for him everywhere, but he was nowhere to be found.
My stomach turned cold.
21
Rowan
The darkness and noise and bustling people were too much for me. I stuck close to a corner wall, like I’d melt into it and disappear if I tried hard enough.
I didn’t see where Alec and Tiffany went off to, but I hoped the conversation was going well—or at least, better than the one I had with her the other night.
I sighed and rubbed my temple. The thudding bass and dim lights weren’t helping the headache blooming inside my skull. I fantasized about grabbing Alec and dipping out early.
Maybe we could continue where we left off earlier in the shower.
My thoughts were interrupted as someone approached. I stiffened when I realized it was Mark. I’d never talked to the guy alone, and the mild scowl on his face was already making me anxious.
“Rowan?” he said.
I didn’t like the way he said my name. I felt like I was about to be scolded for something.
“Yeah?” I replied.
Mark’s gaze raked me up and down. I hoped he wasn’t sizing me up for a fight, because he towered over me, just like Alec did, except Alec’s height wasn’t intimidating. I kept my back pressed to the wall.
“I hear you’re dating Alec,” Mark said, his tone neutral.
“I am.”
God, why does it feel good to say that?
“You know,” Mark went on, “when Alec mentioned you, your name sounded familiar. But I couldn’t figure out why.”
“I’m Tiffany’s cousin.”
Mark didn’t take his eyes off me. “It’s not that.”
I grew increasingly uncomfortable under his stare. My skin itched, and I wanted to walk away, but Mark had trapped me here in the corner with his bulky frame. I regretted going off by myself. My safe, quiet little corner suddenly felt dangerous.
Mark glanced off into the crowd almost distractedly before looking back at me. “I think it’s best if both of you lay low. Or better yet, stop meddling in my business.”
I raised a brow. “Your business? You mean Tiffany?”
“Yes.”
I bristled hearing him talk about my cousin like that. “You don’t own her. I’m allowed to talk to her, and so is Alec.”
Even though I was really tempted, I didn’t want to blurt out the fact that I knew Mark was a cheater. Right now, it seemed safer to keep my cards hidden. The less he knew I knew, the better.
Mark’s lip curled. How many of his buttons could I push before he lashed out at me? I didn’t want to find out.
“I heard you when you came to the door the other day,” Mark said quietly.
I tensed. “What?”
“Do you think I’m stupid or something? I know you talked to Tiffany the other night. I was there.”
Shit.
I tried not to let any expression show on my face. “So?”
Mark stepped closer. Classic bully, using his height and strength to intimidate me, as if I’d never played this game before. Still, I didn’t like it. With every passing second, my urge to bolt grew stronger.
“Just mind your own fucking business, and we won’t have a problem,” Mark muttered. “Got it?”
My jaw clenched hard, my teeth gritting together. Maybe if I wasn’t a coward I would’ve spat in his face and told him to fuck off. But his tactic of cornering me and talking down to me in a dark threatening tone activated the fearful part of my brain.
The memories lit up, filling me with dread. I’d been through this before. I should’ve stood my ground better, but my will was slipping away.
“Fine,” I said quickly, hoping it was enough to make Mark go away.
“Good.”
He didn’t spare me a second glance. He stalked off into the crowd.
I let out a shuddering sigh, suddenly feeling cold and uneasy. I wrapped my arms around myself. At this point, I didn’t care if Tiffany knew I dipped out early. I just wanted to find Alec, go back to the hotel and spend the whole night huddled close against his chest.
I slipped out of the dark corner and traced the wall, heading back to where I’d last seen Alec and Tiffany move into a side room.
A figure paused in the corner of my eye. The back of my head tingled like I was being watched. I stopped and turned around.
Kyle was staring right at me.
I froze like a panicked animal. In the darkness of the bar, I couldn’t read his expression, but his eyes bore into me, unrelenting, not letting go. A violent chill ran down my spine. The breath was stolen from my lungs.
I nearly twisted my ankle with how fast I whipped around and ran.
Why? Why is he here? He’s not supposed to be here!
My voice was caught in my throat, so I couldn’t even mumble an apology to the people I shoved past in my attempt to get out of the bar. When I burst out of the front door, I gasped, greedily sucking in the clear night air. The bass thudded behind me. Standing on the quiet street beneath the bright streetlamps, I felt safer now.
I sank down with my back to the building’s exterior until I kneeled close to the sidewalk. The cold sensation brought me down to earth.
I rubbed my knuckles into my eyes until bursts of shapes and color popped against the blackness of my eyelids. I wasn’t seeing things, was I? It really had been Kyle inside the bar. I couldn’t have mistaken him for someone else. I laughed weakly at the idea that it had just been some random person and I caused a scene for nothing.
But my smile fell. I knew it wasn’t an illusion or my mind playing tricks on me. My reaction was too strong for that.
I sank lower until my ass hit the cold sidewalk. It was nice to feel something that wasn’t the throbbing bass or heat of the bodies in the crowd. The panic had burned out any lingering alcohol in my system, so the pleasant warmth of the booze was replaced by cold, too.
As my fear slowly dissipated, it was replaced by anger. Anger at Kyle for being here. Anger at Mark for putting me on edge in the first place. Anger at Mom for not knowing about my history with Kyle. Anger at Alec for not saving me.
I snorted at the thought. What is he, my knight in fucking armor?
I’d told Mom I was coming with Alec, so she had no reason to invite Kyle. That was the whole point of Alec being my fake boyfriend. Had I gone through all that trouble just for Kyle to slip through the cracks?
No. Think for a second. Stop jumping to conclusions.
I shook my head. Kyle wasn’t at any of the other events. That meant he wasn’t formally invited. I felt a pang of guilt for blaming my family when they hadn’t done anything wrong.
But that meant I was back at square one. Why was he here?
My brain felt like microwaved mush. My nerves were fried from anxiety, and I couldn’t think properly anymore. I slumped, putting my forehead to my knees with a groan. I knew I should get up and find Alec, but the idea of moving from my cold spot on the concrete seemed monumentally difficult.
The bar’s back door swung open hard.
“Rowan?”
I roused at the sound of Alec’s voice. His panicked cry echoed in the alley. When he saw me, relief and anger flashed in his eyes. He ran towards me.
“Rowan, what the hell happened?” he demanded.
I flinched at his tone. Maybe I was overly sensitive, but I didn’t want him to raise his voice at me right now.
“I left,” I said bluntly.
Alec seemed torn between wanting to hug me and wanting to scold me. I was glad he settled on the former. He kneeled down and wrapped his big arms around me—a little too tightly, but hey, I’d take it.
“Don’t disappear on me like that again,” Alec said. “I was worried sick. And why didn’t you reply to my messages?”
I blinked and pulled out my phone. I had about a million missed calls and texts from Alec. I winced.
“Sorry,” I mumbled. “I was kinda dazed. I didn’t even notice my phone vibrating.”
“Dazed? Why?”
I looked away, staring at the circle of pale yellow light from the streetlamp. Now that the moment had passed, I was embarrassed with myself.
“Rowan,” Alec pressed. He squeezed my shoulder to get my attention. “Did something happen? Are you hurt?”
I gave him a weak smile. “I’m okay. I mean… Yeah, I’m fine.”
He frowned. “You’re not doing a good job of convincing me.”
The truth was, I was ashamed of freaking out. I didn’t want to tell Alec what happened. What if he thought I was overreacting? What if he thought I was too high maintenance with all my anxiety and fear? The thought of pushing him away made me feel sick.
“How did things go with Tiffany?” I asked.
“Wow. That was the least subtle subject change I’ve ever heard.”
“At least give me credit for trying.”
Alec shot me a sympathetic half-smile. “I want to say it’s okay if you don’t want to tell me, but honestly? I wish you would. I can tell you’re keeping it bottled inside and suffering by yourself.”
I groaned. “Ugh, see through me more, why don’t you?”
Alec smirked now, knowing he was right.
“When I came out here, you were trembling,” he said gently. “Whatever’s going on, I don’t want you to hurt alone. I’m here. I’m with you.”
My chest ached. Why was it that Alec always knew exactly what I wanted to hear? It was like he knew the padlocked, passworded way to my heart.
I stared at the concrete. Alec seemed to understand I was collecting my thoughts, so he stayed silent. He wormed his hand closer to mine until our fingers intertwined—a physical representation of his promise. He was here for me. He would protect me.
For the first time since running into Mark and Kyle in the bar, I felt truly safe. Alec’s broad shoulders were a shield, his reassuring presence a barrier against harm. He was a healing salve that swept my anxiety away. He was everything I didn’t know I wanted until now.
I gave in, stepping over the edge and letting myself fall into the pool of Alec’s trust.
“I’ll tell you what happened,” I said. “But not here. I want to go home.”
Alec smiled, not commenting on the fact that I’d messed up and called the hotel home. My brain was apparently still a useless lump of an organ.
“All right,” he said softly. He helped me to my feet, our fingers clinging together. “Let’s go.”
The selfish part of me hoped Alec would never stop holding my hand.
22
Alec
After ordering a ride with my phone, we arrived back to the hotel. Rowan texted Kaitlyn a message saying I’d had too much to drink and needed to rest. I was happy to be the fall guy if it meant getting Rowan to safety.
He hadn’t spoken much since we left the alley by the bar. It wasn’t unusual for him to be quiet, but this was different. He seemed edgy and nervous, like he was waiting for something bad to happen. I didn’t want to pressure him until we got back to the room, so I did the only thing I could do—I held his hand and hoped he knew I wouldn’t leave him alone.
Back in the room, Rowan shrugged off his jacket and slumped on the edge of the bed. I took a seat next to him. An awkward silence filled the air with neither one of us knowing what to say or who wanted to speak first.
I broke it by asking, “So. How many drinks did you have?”
That got a little smirk out of him, which was good enough for me. “Probably less than you. I only drank at the Irish place. I’m totally sober.”
I smiled back. “I guess you and Tiffany don’t share the same drinking gene.”
“Guess not.”
We lapsed back into silence.
Well, crap, that didn’t work.
“Rowan,” I said gently. “If you’re tired, we can talk about this some other time.”
He was shaken up enough. I could wait.
Rowan inhaled then slowly let out his breath. He absentmindedly ran his thumb over the back of my hand, sending pleasant tingles across my skin.
“No. I’ll feel stupid if I don’t tell you,” he mumbled. There was a strange hint of embarrassment in his voice that I didn’t understand. “I saw someone at the bar.”
When he went quiet, I said, “Go on.”
“Remember when you ran into Mark and it spooked you?” Rowan asked. When I nodded, he said, “Well, the same thing happened to me at the bar.”
My eyes widened. “Your ex. Kyle?”
A shadow flitted across Rowan’s eyes at the sound of his name. “Yeah.”
I hesitated. I didn’t know much about the guy besid
es the fact that Rowan hated him. Or was afraid of him. Or both. Either way, it was enough to get my blood hot.
“Did he do anything to you?” I demanded.
“No. He didn’t even talk to me.” He rubbed his arm. “But Mark did.”
I swallowed a defensive growl. “What did he say?”
“He told me to back off. You, too. I get the feeling he doesn’t like us snooping around his business.” He scoffed. “His business being Tiffany.”
I grunted in frustration. “Geez, I left you alone for five minutes and he swooped in on you like a vulture.”
He snorted. “It did feel a little like that.”
Mark had been a thorn in my side since I first saw him in the butterfly conservatory, but hearing that he’d messed with Rowan when I wasn’t there infuriated me more than anything else. Even though I knew it wasn’t rational, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking how dare he speak to Rowan? As if Rowan was mine.
“Sorry. I just don’t know how to get the words out,” Rowan said with a sigh. “Seeing Kyle tripped me up. Badly. All the shitty memories came rushing back. That’s why I ran out. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
I rubbed his back with my free hand. He felt tense beneath my palm, still not fully comfortable. Whatever Kyle did to Rowan, it must have been bad for him to react like this.
“You’re safe now,” I promised him.
Rowan swallowed then offered me a small smile. “Thanks.”
I felt the urge to protect Rowan flare up inside me like a fanned flame. He looked small and vulnerable right now, like a trembling rabbit. He was hurt. Raw. I held him closer to my chest, hoping my warmth would provide the comfort he desperately needed.
“Kyle is a family friend’s son,” Rowan began, his voice quiet. “Our parents were friends. That’s how we met. We knew each other as kids and were always at each other’s houses for get-togethers and that sort of thing.”
I listened intently, though for some reason I felt a pang of jealousy, like I was envious that Kyle had known Rowan so much longer than I did. It was stupid. Maybe the alcohol really had gone to my head.