by Jami Wagner
“Can we still eat?” Sara asks. We all laugh, and just like that, I’m having lunch with my brother and it feels like a huge brick had been taken off my back.
I know it’s only day one of an entire relationship we have to build, but between Logan and Conner, I’ve never felt so at home. Nothing could ruin this.
Chapter Fourteen
Conner
The best mornings are those when you don’t have to wake up to an alarm or anything else that feels the need to wake you before your body actually wants to rise and greet the day. Don’t get me wrong, I love my son, but waking up on lazy mornings to the sun peeking through the windows and a very sexy, leggy, and naked woman wrapped up in your sheets is real nice, too.
Alex and I are curled up, her back to my front. At some point during the night we must have shifted away from each other. I reach over her and tug her body back into mine. She lets out a sigh so I know she’s awake, then she lets out moan to let me know how awake she is.
“I thought we were sleeping in today,” she says with a sleepy voice. She rolls over to face me and touches her lips to my nose.
“It’s almost ten. Technically, you already did sleep in.” I kiss her softly, rolling halfway on top of her.
“Before you distract me, I want to thank you for helping me talk to Logan.”
“Anything for you.” I kiss her again.
“I mean it, If I hadn’t told you, or, technically, if you hadn’t figured it out, I’d still be alone inside my apartment stressing on what I’m going to about Logan. Instead, now I have all day to think about what I want to do next, with you.”
“And what have you come up with so far?”
“Well, it involves you and water and being naked.”
Without a second thought I roll out of bed, pulling the sheet and Alex with me, and I lift her over my shoulder and head for the bathroom. The landlord fixed her shower yesterday. We’re pretending he didn’t.
“Conner, I’m not done talking yet,” she laughs, wigging in my hold as I step into the bathroom.
“We can talk later.” I silence her with my lips. Logan is the last person I want to be thinking about in my shower. Especially since my focus should be on how I’m going to convince him that the “never date a sister” rule can’t apply to me and Alex.
* * *
Logan gets right into it when the door closes. “The sister rule still applies, you know.”
“You’re positive this girl is your sister?” I ask, joking with him. Maybe approaching it with a lighter tone will make the conversation easier on both of us. There is no way the rule can still be held against me the same way. Not after I’ve already been with Alex, and he clearly caught us making out last weekend when Alex told him the truth. This is one promise I’m going to have to break.
“Dude, did you see her? She looks like just like me only the female version.” He clearly didn’t pick up on my joke. “Same blonde hair, our skin tone is freaking spot on, and we have the same eyes.”
The fuck they do. Her eyes hypnotize me. They capture me. They are something I’ll never forget. Logan’s eyes are ... I glance at him.
Damn, that’s weird. Yeah, those are just Logan’s eyes.
“The rule can’t apply to us,” I say. “I’m sorry.”
“How can it not apply?”
“We made that pact when we were kids, and at the time …”
“I didn’t have a sister. Yeah, I get it, but she’s here now. The rule should still apply.”
“Why?”
“Because it should.”
He focuses on the wall across from us, in good ole Logan fashion. When he knocks his knuckles against the bar top, it’s a dead giveaway that something else is bothering him.
“What is it?” I ask.
“Nothing,” he snaps.
“Look me in the eye and tell me the fact that I’m breaking this rule is the only thing that’s bothering you.”
He opens his mouth to argue but pauses before asking me, “Did you know she was my sister this whole time?”
I don’t think that’s his problem, either.
“No, I didn’t know she was your sister until a week ago.”
He lets this sink in for a moment.
“Do you think she needs help? Like maybe she ran from something and that’s why all of a sudden she showed up and took so long to tell anyone. Oh, and you need to get that landlord out to your building stat to fix her plumbing, or you at least need tell me you have some kind of shower rule right now.”
It’s all about the rules with this guy, and yeah, it’s a rule we shower together.
“Shower rule?” I ask, knowing that isn’t what he wants to hear. I could tell him that it’s fixed, but this is more fun.
“Dude, there will be no chance of you running into my sister in her towel. I’ve had that situation with Sara too many times to know how it ends and to also know I don’t want that for you. At least, I don’t want to think about the two of you and whatever thing you have going on right now.”
“Okay…” I begin. It sounds like I’m going to need to take another approach to this topic. I can’t leave here today without convincing him that me and Alexis are right for each other and his support would be nice to have. “Stepping into the big brother role ASAP, huh?”
“I’ve had a lot of years to think about what it would be like to see her again and I really hope she wants the same type of relationship I do,” he says before he starts to ramble again. “Do you think she is too skinny?”
“She isn’t skinny; her ass is fucking perfect and if you meant—”
“I said the rule still applies. You can’t date my sister or even think about anything that involves my sister as more than just your friend. I saw you kissing her. That has to end.”
“Logan, come on, this situation is different.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Yeah, it is.”
“What, because you met her first? She’s my sister, Conner.”
“This is different.”
“No, no way are you going to give me that speech.”
“I get it.” I chuckle. “But-”
“If she’s dating you, there will be no time for me to get to know her, Conner. And you already know her better than I do, and that’s not fair.”
And there it is.
“Logan, she wants to know you more than anyone else in the world, even me. I want to be there for her while you get to know each other, and I want to be there to watch as you make memories. Of course, I want to be a part of some of them. But Logan, I’m so into your sister and want to be with her so badly, I’m willing to destroy our entire friendship to make sure I wake up to her smile and her happiness every morning.”
Logan’s hands are on his hips and his jaw twitches as he grinds his teeth. He keeps his vision focused on me until I’ve mastered enough of a straight face to convince him I’m serious.
He blows out a quick breath.
“Fine. I’ll give it a shot because she did tell me you arranged for us to meet since she was nervous, and because if she is happy with you, I’m not going to take that away. But hear me now: if you do anything, and I mean anything, to hurt her, I get a free pass to hit you as hard as I can whenever I feel like it for the rest of our lives.”
“Deal,” I say because there is no chance of that ever happening.
When Logan enters the office, leaving me alone, I start rehearsing how I’m going to tell Alex about Heather wanting us to be a family but that’s not going to work and it isn’t because of her. If I weren’t so happy with Alex and distracted by her smile and touch, I’d have told her by now.
Shit, I’ve got to stop making excuses.
I have no words to start and I better find them soon or getting Logan’s approval was all for nothing and I’ll lose Alex and get a punch in the face every day until who knows when.
Alexis
“I still can’t believe you’re Logan’s sister,” Beth comments as she lay
s on my couch. She’s drinking a bottle of ginger ale and swinging it by the cap like a drunken person. “I bet Logan cried the moment he and Sara got back to their house.”
“Yeah, I doubt that.” I laugh off her statement.
The last few days have been … interesting. Logan and I still make things a little awkward with our lack of communication when we’re together. There have been a few times where we have done nothing but sit in the same room together in complete silence. Our past is a hard subject to bring up.
Logan adjusting to the idea of me and Conner probably has a little something to do with it as well. He asks me almost every day if Conner’s still treating me right. I laugh and tell him yes each time.
Sara and I are chatting about her pregnancy every chance we get, and she’s also successfully managed to make me feel welcome even with the way Logan and I act around each other.
“I’m serious. No one would see it if they were a passerby, but Logan has the softest man heart of any guy I know.”
She clearly doesn’t know Conner that well.
“Are you ready to go?” I ask, opening the door because either way, I’m going to the barbeque at my brother’s house. Something they do about every other weekend.
“Eager to see the fam, huh?” She stands, dragging her feet to the door. “I guess that makes sense. If I’d spent my whole life without family, I’d probably want to see them too.”
“Yeah, that’s it.” But really I’m just as excited to see Conner. It’s been a busy week and I’ve been spending a lot of time at Logan and Sara’s house. I didn’t realize how much I liked Conner until I didn’t get to see him as much as I used to. The fact he’s come in to sleep next to me the last two nights doesn’t count as actually hanging out.
The drive goes fast and before I know it, Beth pulls her car up in front of their house, and my heartbeat speeds up at the sight of all the cars.
“Is it normal for this many people to be here?” I ask, unbuckling my belt.
“Nope,” she answers and gets out.
I thought this was going to be a small get together, but clearly I’m wrong. I immediately start looking for Conner. If anyone is going to make me feel comfortable tonight, it’s going to be him.
* * *
I walk toward the house, glancing back to see the couple I was just talking to still watching me, and, like with most of the other people here, I can’t remember their names. I wave at Skylar, who I’m glad is here, and consider heading in Conner’s direction. But he looks deep in conversation with Lucas so I slide the patio door closed behind me and head down the hallway.
I pass two small rooms and a bathroom before I find a room that, I assume by the large desk in the middle, is the den. It has two doors, one that comes from the hallway I am in and one on the other side of the room that leads to the front of the house. I close both doors before sitting on the carpet under the window. Out of sight.
Relationships like the ones I see outside are the type I’ve wanted my whole life. I came here with the mindset that I would have to work for it and prove myself, but everyone has just accepted me, end of story. They haven’t asked questions or pried into my past. Logan, yeah, I expected him to hesitate, but the others … I don’t know. Don’t they want to know? Do I want them to ask me questions? Maybe, a little.
A part of me wants to ask Logan the questions I wish he’d ask me, but another part of me is scared to hear his answers. What if he grew up with a horrible foster family, or what if he grew up with one that was better than mine? It’s not a competition, but I always felt like a piece of my life was missing.
A knock at the door from the hallway takes me from my thoughts. Logan pokes his head inside, his eyes going wide when he sees me.
“Oh, I thought Sara was in here,” he says, looking awkwardly around the room. Sorry, brother, nothing to focus on in this room but me.
“Just me,” I say.
“Everything okay?”
“Yes.”
Now is as good a time as any to change those weird silent moments between us into a real conversation.
“Do you want to join me?” I ask, making the effort we’ve both been nervous to make. He nods, making his way into the room and looking around, unsure of where he’s going to sit. He settles on a spot against the same wall I’m sitting against.
“So, are you doing okay?” he asks. “I mean, how do you like Wind Valley?”
“I’m fine. I like it here. You can thank your best friend for that. He’s been amazing since the day I met him. This afternoon, however, with all the people here, is a lot to take in.”
Logan tilts his head.
“Yeah, I don’t think any of us thought about that when we planned this. We should have though, thought of you.” He shakes his head before resting it in his hands, clearly dismissing the subject of Conner.
“It’s really okay. I guess I don’t know what I was expecting.”
“Well, I’ll give you a minute or however long you need.” He starts to get up.
“No, stay,” I blurt out. “I know this whole thing has been a little uneasy for us, but maybe we need baby steps, and staying in a room alone making conversation for longer than five minutes is a good place to start.”
He laughs nervously.
“I’m sorry. I’ve wanted this for so long, and I swear I used to rehearse what I’d say to you, but now that you’re here, I’m not sure what to say,” he adds, leaning back against the wall.
“I thought about it too.”
“About me or about the family we used to have?”
The guilt I used to feel about missing only Logan hits my heart for a slight moment. Long enough to fear how he might respond to my answer.
“Just you. I don’t remember enough about our mother to miss her, and even if I did, she gave up on us. I can’t allow myself to care for someone who didn’t care for me.”
Logan turns his head, and I’m positive I see relief in his eyes.
“Yeah, I feel the exact same way.”
We don’t say anything else after that. We just sit here for another few minutes, like normal, before Logan excuses himself to get back to his guests. I wait another minute before I come out.
It wasn’t anything huge, but knowing we had one feeling alike makes me even happier that I’m here. His opinion means more than it should after not seeing him my whole life.
Chapter Fifteen
Alexis
The next day, I step into the coffee shop and the entire room smells of fresh, ground coffee, which makes my mouth water. I’ve been craving a caramel macchiato since the day Heather and I bumped into each other.
At three in the afternoon, the place is deserted. I’m the only customer, and after I order my drink it takes only a minute or two until it’s ready. I sit by the window, enjoying the view as people walk about the streets. I take another sip of my coffee and watch as an older, gray-haired woman enters the diner across the street that looks similar to the one where I used to work. A mother and her two children, a boy and a girl, are coming around the corner to enter behind the old woman.
Their interaction tugs at my heart. I’ve always felt like a part of me was missing. I’m not sure if it’s because I never got to know my real mother or because I went through multiple foster homes before I found one that accepted me. The one where I met Heather. But I’ll always wonder what my life would have been like had I not been in a foster home, and every time I see a little boy and girl, I’ll always have this moment of not knowing.
I enjoy the moment where the little boy starts to pester his little sister by pulling on her pigtails. Would Logan and I have acted that way? I played with the other kids in each home and I always had fun, but I’ll never know if it would have been more enjoyable if they’d been my real family. Heather was as close as I got to that feeling. She was there when I got my first bra; she taught me how to apply mascara and to not make it look like a group of pastel colors threw up on my eyelids. Gosh, Heather was the first pe
rson I told about my first crush. I told her everything during our time together. She kept my secrets, the only person I ever talked to when thoughts about my family were on my mind. It’s hard to believe we drifted apart all these years, but now we live in the same town, and it makes me feel lighter to have someone from that part of my life around. She’ll know what I’m going through.
I hear the squeal of the little girl across the street right before the diner door closes, taking them away from my view.
I pull out my phone in an attempt to distract myself from letting my thoughts get too carried away over being sad for a part of my life I can’t change. There isn’t any reason for me to dwell on the past. I’m here now, and I have Logan in my life.
I scroll through Facebook and Instagram then I take a snap of myself with puckered lips and crossed eyes and Snapchat it to Conner. He’s always sending me random photos of himself during the day. I hope receiving one from me will light up his face with a smile the way mine does.
“Hey, sorry I’m late.” Heather comes through the door looking flustered as she tucks her hair behind her ears and takes off her jacket, hanging it over the back of the chair. “I had to drop my son off with his father.”
My eyes go wide.
“You have a little boy?” I ask excitedly as I twist in my seat to face her. She used to go on and on about how she couldn’t wait to have a family of her own. Maybe I can have everything I want in my life, too.
“Sure do.” She smiles proudly. “I’ll tell you all about him after I get some coffee.”
She heads for the counter as I turn back to the window. How she’s dealing with being a parent, when she grew up the same way I did? I mean, not everyone is going to worry and have the same doubts I do, but I always wonder.
“Okay, so, where should we start?” She takes the seat next to me.
“We can start with how crazy it is that we both ended up in Wind Valley.” I laugh.
“Yeah, it’s wild. I came here for school but ended up pregnant and alone.”
“Alone? What happened to the father?” I didn’t realize we were going to jump right into the serious stuff, but, hey, we have a lot to catch up on and we need to start somewhere.