I understand now. It is simple. My prince wants to be sure of my love for him before he gives himself to me.
We stayed up all night talking. He had a million questions he wanted to ask me, and I also wanted some questions answered. I wanted to know every thought that occupied his mind. I thought I knew him well, but I was wrong. I would spend the rest of my life, if I had to, to find out everything that lies in his heart.
I desperately need to hear from his mouth that he desires me as much as I desire him. “Nidal, if you love me as much as you claim you do, then why do you hesitate to make love to me? Is there something wrong with the way I look? Am I not woman enough for you?” I asked, and I pulled away from him and looked up into his handsome face.
Nidal’s eyes blazed with passion as he pulled me back into his embrace. “You think I don’t desire you?” he asked hoarsely, as he pushed his body on mine. I felt his huge manhood piercing my thigh and electricity shot throughout my entire body. “Loula,” he whispered, and he closed his eyes. I held my breath as I waited for him to speak. When Nidal opened his eyes, his hold tightened, and he sighed. “I want nothing more then to make love to you, but I will not, because I do not think it is the right time yet. I need to be 100 percent sure that you are ready for me.” He said softly.
“You think I am not ready? I have never been more ready in my whole entire life then I am at this very moment, Nidal.” I said, hopeful that he would believe me.
Nidal searched in my eyes for the truth. A few seconds later, he sighed, and said, “You are not ready, Loula. I have waited for you for too many years to act on lust alone. I need more from you and I can tell you are not ready yet. After waiting for you all my life, Loula, one more day won’t kill me, but not waiting and rushing things will.” He stopped for a brief second so I could comprehend what he was telling me. I cannot believe I wasted all these years living without him, meeting all the wrong people, and not once thinking of this beautiful soul.
Nidal’s beautiful face inched closer to mine. I can feel his breath on my face. I am dizzy with want for him. I need him badly. Does he not realize this?
“I can tell you do not understand my explanation, Loula, which only proves to me that I am right. You are not ready for me. I have waited for you practically my entire life. I could not erase your image from my mind. I could not even kiss another without feeling as if I had betrayed you. I need for you to understand my feelings for you. It is very important to me that when I make love to you, your feelings will be as mine are for you. I will accept nothing less,” he said passionately.
Wow! Unbelievable. Who loves like that? So many women are in this country, beautiful women who would die just to spend one single night with my prince, and he chose me. I can’t even comprehend it. It is above and beyond human nature. How can a beautiful man like this remain a virgin for all these years, waiting for me?
“Nidal, if you love me as strongly as you say that you do, then how can you keep yourself from making love to me? Do you not feel an urge to have sex?” I asked.
“It is not without great difficulty that I refrain from making love to you, Loula.” Nidal lowered his eyes and sighed. “I have mastered my thoughts and feelings, and know how to handle the situation when need be.”
“Then please tell me how you are able to do that, so I too can do the same, because I am suffering from need for you and know not what to do,” I said.
“I masturbate, Loula,” he whispered, and his eyes were blazing with fire as he looked at me.
Fire shot throughout my entire body as I struggled to lay still. With trembling hands I cupped his beautiful face and said, “Nidal, all these years, why have you not taken to your bed a woman to fulfill your sexual desires?” and as soon as I said those words, jealousy consumed me and my heart twisted with pain.
“Would you prefer I do that next time, Loula?” he asked me, with a hint of a smile on his face as he waited for a response. His words were like a knife in my heart and I tried to wiggle out of his embrace, but he tightened his hold on me and threw his leg over my body and I was trapped. Not knowing what to do and feeling frustrated, I started to cry.
“Don’t cry, Loula. I do not have any desire to sleep with any other woman besides you. I have never betrayed you and I never will,” he said, his voice husky with passion, as he placed butterfly kisses across my face and down my neck.
I tried to understand his feelings for me. Why would he do this for me? Who am I? I am not unique. Why does he insist on having me when he can choose any other woman in the world?
I looked deep into his eyes for answers. The eyes are the windows of one’s soul. He was not the only one with trust issues. I also couldn’t believe all this, but all I saw in his eyes was love, adoration, and complete and total submission.
I felt his shaft swollen against my thigh. Every fiber in my body came to life. I was aching for him to take me and make me his. I needed Nidal to claim what belonged to him. My body was on fire, and it was desperately thirsty for his touch, but I knew that tonight was not the night.
I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. He pulled me closer, and I could feel his hold on me relax. I could not understand how he was able to tame his body to lie next to mine with such ease when my body was aching to be touched by him. Thankfully, sometime in the peaceful night, I fell asleep.
In the morning, the sun splashed its bright light across the room. The window was slightly open, and a delicate, warm breeze softly teased my skin. I could hear the birds chirping cheerfully outside and the horses snorting and chasing each other while the people of Arabia went about their daily business.
I opened my eyes and saw my prince resting his head on his elbow, looking down at me tenderly. I wanted him so desperately that I slipped my fingers through his hair and pulled his head, bringing his lips down to mine.
Without warning, lust unleashed itself inside my entire body as heat exploded furiously, bursting with fire, and consumed all my senses. Nidal lifted my nightgown up over my breast, and his eyes burned with desire as they drifted over my breast and down my belly. He made a strangled sound as his hands glided up my thigh. Skillfully, his fingers worked their magic, sending electric shock waves throughout my entire body.
He scattered scorching kisses over my breast, and I trembled in his arms. My hands traced the outline of his body and found his enlarged bulge that was pressing against my thigh. I slipped my hand inside his undergarment and grabbed it. Immediately, Nidal froze, and in that instant, my world came crashing down.
Embarrassed once again, I looked up at him, questioning his behavior. In answer, he gently pushed me away and quickly jumped out of bed. I looked hungrily at his tall, lean body. Nidal walked slowly to the chair in the corner where his shirt lay, grabbed it, and put it on. With trembling hands, he struggled to button his shirt. His accusing gaze never once left my sight. His huge muscles threatened to rip the very shirt he wore as he bent over and grabbed his pantaloons from the floor.
Embarrassed out of my mind, I quickly threw the covers over my head to hide in the dark, and I tugged my nightgown all the way down to hide my shameless body. Maybe we could ignore what just happened for the sake of my sanity, but my body betrayed me. It was aroused and still shaking from the aftermath. These sexual feelings were new to me, and I knew not how to turn them off.
I peeked outside the covers just as my prince was finished dressing, and he smiled down at me wickedly. The look on his face said, “I’m going to make you pay for all the years I waited for you.” I could tell that he knew what I was feeling, and he was going to let me suffer. That was not fair. He needed me to give him a taste of his own medicine. I threw back the covers, but not before I untied the lace from the nightgown that I was wearing. My left breast escaped playfully outside my gown, teasing the eyes of my prince, who just stood there frozen in time, staring at me. His smile now disappeared as lus
t took over. He looked like a wolf licking his chops. My right breast was exposed in the direct view of the sunlight, and I took my time getting out of bed, pretending I had no idea what was happening.
From the corner of my eyes, I could see cold sweat on my prince’s forehead as he swallowed hard. And I looked down and saw his bulge ready to burst the seams of his pantaloons. Good! Let him suffer too. He deserves it!
I marched into the bathroom and closed the door hard, causing an echoing sound to penetrate throughout the room. Now what? What do I do now?
And that was when I noticed the keyhole, and I peeked through it just in time to witness Nidal slam his fist into the closet door behind him, creating a hole the size of his fist. I winced, knowing the pain his hand must be feeling. I could tell it was throbbing.
At that moment, a servant knocked on the door, “Master, is everything all right?”
“Everything is fine,” Nidal said gruffly, and he slid down in the chair that was against the wall, and dropped his face into his hands. I do not know if he is angry or just trying to kill the pain on his hand.
He got what he deserved! I was also in pain. My body ached from wanting him so badly. He made it happen, and then he punished me for it. I feel so embarrassed. Humiliated!
These feelings coming to life inside me were new to me. I did not know the ways of lovemaking. I was a virgin as well, and I felt as if my body had just betrayed me.
At that moment, the queen burst open the door to our room and marched in. Nidal quickly stood and walked over to her. He adored his mother, the only other woman he had ever loved. She was elegantly dressed in pink from head to toe, very fashionable in her gown. Her hair was swept up in an updo, showing off a beautiful pair of pink diamond earrings that dangled from her ears. She had a slender neck and striking facial features that resembled her son’s. She was clearly an aristocrat and a very beautiful lady, even at her age.
Nidal took her hands in his and kissed them. The queen smiled up at him, “Where’s Loula?’’ she asked, as her gaze swept across the room. Nidal remained silent. She pulled away from him and gracefully walked to the door, and turned around and said sternly, “I hate to tell you I told you so, but I did warn you, Nidal. Anyhow, lunch will be served in half an hour. Do not be late. You know how that irritates your father.”
Nidal’s jaw tensed up for a second, but he quickly ignored the comment and looked toward the bathroom. When the queen left the room, Nidal checked to make sure the door was locked. He walked over to the bathroom and tried to open it but could not because I had locked it. He banged on it a few times, and then he sharply threatened, “Open this door now, Loula, before I break it down!”
Knowing he makes good on his threats, I quickly opened the door, but I was not about to let him off that easy. So I played his game. Nidal’s eyes appraised me from head to toe. He looked so darn sexy. I had to control myself before I did something foolish.
Nidal swallowed nervously and said, “I am going to the dining room. Come immediately. Do not be late!” His tone was cold.
I will not let him rule me. I am not his slave. I will take my time and make them all wait for my arrival.
I was very careful with my appearance, choosing a low-cut gown that revealed a small amount of cleavage. The gown, a soft brown satin, darkened my skin tone, giving the illusion that I was tanned. I let my hair down, and it dropped to my waist. I pinched my cheeks to bring some color to them, and when I glanced in the mirror, the lady who looked back at me appeared very sexy. Satisfied with the results, I slipped my feet into my silk slip-ons and hurriedly flew across the great hall.
I joined them in the dining room a few minutes later. The conversation stopped automatically as the guards opened the double doors and I walked in. The dining room was a beautiful room with elegant tapestries on all four walls, candle chandeliers hanging from the cathedral ceiling, and silk curtains that draped around the French windows. The dining table was a shiny, black cherrywood that could easily seat fifty guests, and its matching chairs were beautifully carved with an elegant flower design. The silverware was sterling silver, and the water goblets were made of fine crystal, as well as the wineglasses. A lavish Oriental carpet covered the marble floor. But then I did not expect anything less from royalty.
Everyone, except for Billal, was looking at me. He looked the opposite way. He sported a black eye. I could tell there was a lot of tension between him and my prince. Every gentleman at the dining table stood, and I walked over to my seat, which was next to Nidal’s. I waited for the servant to push my chair in, and after I sat down, all the men sat too.
Everyone greeted me with a smile and a hello, except for Billal. He did not say one word to me. How absurd! He isn’t allowed to talk to me, yet he sits at the table with us. I will never understand the customs and traditions of Arabia.
I glanced sideways at Nidal, and I could tell he was angry at his cousin’s presence in the room. I lowered my gaze to his lap, and I saw Nidal clenching his fists. I just wanted all this to stop. Nidal’s jealousy needed to stop. His actions were embarrassing the palace, and it was putting a strain on the crown. The king had already warned him to check his behavior.
This was not an intimate affair. I thought lunch would be a little less formal than this, but I was wrong. Altogether, twenty-five of us were sitting down for lunch. They all pretended to eat, but I caught the guests stealing glances at the prince and myself. The queen was staring at me too. I knew she disapproved of my presence in the palace. She had never smiled at me. She had never spoken to me, not once. She simply ignored my existence.
I had lost my appetite. I just wanted to get through this, excuse myself, and run to the safety of my room, where no one could see the pain I was feeling in my heart and the tears about to form in my eyes. I could seclude myself there in privacy and not be under the constant scrutiny of these people who already prejudged me unfairly.
The servants were taking their time serving us the six-course meal. The main course was duck served with red wine sauce, and there were roasted potatoes and three different kinds of vegetables. All this food was mouthwatering, and I was famished, having skipped breakfast.
Everyone ate in silence. No one dared say a word. Finally, the queen broke the silence, and asked the man sitting opposite her, “Have you ever visited the gardens? The flowers are in full bloom this time of year,” she said sweetly.
The man just stared at her for a split second. Tiny balls of sweat formed on his balding head, as he was trying to decide if that were a trick question or if she truly favored his response. He decided it was the latter. Relieved, he quickly answered with a fake smile, “No, my queen, I have never seen the garden in all its glory, but would look forward to doing just that after we are finished with lunch.”
Again, there was silence as the guests finished the last of their meal. The servants cleaned up the table and brought out the pastries and tea. The guests chimed in conversations again, and all spoke almost at the same time. The tension was gone, there was laughter and smiles, and everyone was drinking tea and having a good time. Even Nidal’s tone was neutral, but he had a smile that was as dangerous as a cobra waiting to bite. His blue eyes had darkened as he glanced across the table at his cousin Billal.
He stole a side glance at me. His eyes were empty and sad. I looked away quickly. Tension was in the room again. Everyone’s laughter broke off abruptly when all witnessed the look that Nidal had thrown me. It was suddenly very quiet in the room again, and it seemed like a lifetime later when the king quickly muttered something and everyone at the table picked up their conversation where they had left off.
I saw the queen take a deep breath and sigh as she gazed at her son and me with a disapproving glare. I felt so uncomfortable at the way she conducted herself. It was not fair that she judged me so. I felt a wave of sadness, and I wished things could have been different. I wanted
to befriend the queen. We both loved Nidal, and it would be to both our benefit if we tried to be civil to each other.
At that moment, Nidal took my hand in his, and I looked up surprised and saw him staring blankly at the guests. He probably wasn’t even aware of what he was doing. The fine lines on his face relaxed now, and he almost looked like he was having a good time. With his fingers, Nidal gently caressed my hand. His light touch felt warm on my skin, and I started wishing that things were different and that he was not a prince with a million responsibilities, but just another man who lived a simple life, a commoner who could come and go as he pleased. People thought the prince was born to a life of privilege, but they did not know that Nidal was a slave to his crown.
I stared at the wineglass that was sitting in front of me. I dared not look up. Billal was sitting almost across from where I sat, and I did not want Nidal to accuse me of glaring at his cousin. Nor did I want Nidal to punch Billal in the face again. So my eyes stayed glued to the crystal glass as I waited patiently for this fiasco to be over with and we could both be excused.
As the minutes ticked away, Nidal continued to playfully caress my hand. A second later, I felt his thigh brush up lightly against my thigh, and his hold on my hand tightened. I looked up and saw him looking down at me. Nidal stared deep into my eyes with passion or, one could say lust. I could feel my body temperature rise just thinking of what Nidal had in mind for me upon our return to our chambers.
It suddenly felt stuffy in the room. I needed some fresh air. Just then, Nidal stood and gently pulled me to my feet. He excused the both of us and pulled me along his side and out into the corridor from the side door. I could still feel the eyes of all the guests on my back as they all tried to guess what was about to happen to me as I disappeared from their view.
Nidal swiftly pulled me along, down the hallway, and into our chamber, where he closed the door behind us and scooped me into his arms, laying a wet kiss on my neck with trembling lips. Fire shot up my breast and down my spine. He had the power to turn me on as quickly as a snake bites its next victim. Only instead of venom, honey poured out of his mouth and sweetened my soul.
Sweet Obsession Page 2