Billal acted as if he had every right to be sitting next to Loula. One day, I would wipe that smirk off his face. Son of a bitch! He deliberately pushed my buttons. He got a high seeing me suffer. Well, how about I play his game for once? Slowly, I pushed my leg forward, and my foot was next to Loula’s, rubbing her ankle. It took her by surprise. Wide-eyed, she looked over at me nervously. I raised my foot a little higher, and Loula squirmed in her seat.
Billal was having conversation with the man who sat to his right. The man kept wiping his sweaty bald spot with his napkin, obviously nervous about something as he chatted away. He had Billal’s undivided attention. Billal was oblivious to my actions. I brought my foot between Loula’s legs and rested it on her private part, and her eyes opened wide with fear. I almost laughed aloud. This was hysterical. But as I continued to rub her most private part, my shaft was taking control of the situation, and it wasn’t funny anymore. I could tell that Loula was getting turned on too. Her eyelids were half-closed, and her hands were pulling the napkin she was holding. She closed her legs tight around my foot, and I almost lost control. This was a very dangerous game that I was playing. I immediately pulled away my foot, and I saw Loula’s eyes open as she shot a glance my way, questioning my motives. I looked away from her before I gave myself away and every person here tonight found me out. It would place us in a very dangerous situation. I hoped Loula was able to read my mind and understand why I did what I did.
I looked at her now. My face was somber, and I noticed she was spaced out. She was coming in her underpants. I could tell by the expression on her face. I wanted to be inside her at this very moment. She was having her moment without me. I was jealous of her underwear that got to touch her skin, while I was at the other side of the table. I wanted to reach over and take her here and now. I could feel myself getting ready to explode.
I must stop this immediately. I made eye contact with Loula and winked. She lowered her head, but not before I motioned with my eyes toward the door, letting her know that I wanted her to meet me in the gardens tonight. I knew my moves were very risky, but I could not help myself. I needed to touch her body. I needed to make love to her tonight. My shaft was hurting. I needed to release it from its pain, and only Loula could do that.
Dinner was served, and I suddenly lost my appetite. I glanced over at Loula, and I saw she too was nibbling at her dinner. With trembling hands, I reached for my wine goblet and drank, washing down my sorrows.
At that moment the king asked, “Nidal, how is Shaeena and the baby?” There was a nasty look in his beady eyes. I wanted to spit in his face. I wanted to tell him to go to hell, but I held my tongue and plastered a fake smile on my face.
“They are faring just fine, Father. They are resting now.”
He looked pleased with my answer, and finally, Father geared the conversation away from me. I was glad not to be the center of attention. It was just like my father to always want to make me feel uncomfortable. He was a master at destroying lives.
At that moment, the king hit the table with his fist and demanded more wine to be brought to him. My poor mother was startled, along with everyone else who sat at the table. The servants were shaking in their boots as they poured wine in the king’s goblet.
The king raised his glass. “Let’s drink a toast to the new member of the royal family.”
Everyone raised their glasses in the air.
“God bless the baby and its mother,” they all said cheerfully.
I too raised my glass and thanked everyone for their warm wishes. Then I rested my eyes on Loula, who was trying to hide her tears by this time. She swallowed, turned to Billal, and asked him to pass her the salt, and as Billal did as he was told, Loula quickly glanced at me and nodded lightly before she turned and grabbed the saltshaker from Billal’s hand.
I felt a warm rush inside my body. She had just let me know that she accepted my invitation to meet her tonight in the gardens. I would wait for her all night if I had to. I needed her to touch me like no other woman ever had. Only she could clench my thirst. My shaft was swollen, and it hurt. I placed my hand on it, trying to cover up the evidence, but it was no use. It was throbbing with pain. I stood quickly, excused myself, and practically ran out of the room.
Out in the hallway, I headed for the nearest bathroom. I had to relieve some of the pain my shaft was feeling. I opened the door and stepped inside, and I quickly pulled out my swollen shaft and started to play with it. Almost immediately I came, and I felt such relief. As I was washing my hands, I looked in the mirror and saw my face. It was red from the heat of the moment, and a wave of anger took over my heart and mind. I played with myself like a jack-off. I was a jack-off. I punched the mirror and watched it shatter to pieces as it fell into the sink. My hand was throbbing with pain as the blood rushed down my arm. I took the towel that was folded neatly next to the sink on a cherrywood table and wrapped it around my hand to stop the bleeding. This had to stop. I was going crazy. I needed to have a talk with Loula tonight. We had to come up with a plan. I needed her. I wanted her badly.
I walked out of the bathroom, and a couple of servants were standing outside the door with a broom and a dustpan in their hands, waiting for me to leave so they could clean up. They knew, I thought wildly. They had that knowing look on their face. I marched outside the palace and walked straight to the back of the gardens where my hiding place was. I threw myself down on the grass and cried like a little baby. I had become someone else. Whatever happened to my ego? Where had my self-esteem gone? Who have I become?
I was always so sure of myself. I was strong and proud of who I was. Every man wanted to be me. I was envied throughout the country. I used to chase the women from a young age. Now I barely noticed them. I used to wet my pants thinking about screwing all of them, and now I only desired Loula. Am I a fool, or am I a man in love? I lay there waiting, frustrated and hoping that Loula would come soon.
Hours later, when the lit torches were about to let go of their flame and diminish what little light lit the pathway to where I lay, I awoke from a brief sleep that I must have slipped into. I heard bare feet walking softly on the grass heading where I lay. I squinted and tried to make out the face of the onlooker, making sure it was her. When I confirmed it, I jumped up and grabbed her, pulling her to me. She collapsed into my arms as we kissed passionately. We dropped to the floor and undressed, shedding our garments quickly as we panted for breath. Naked, I wasted no time plunging into her with such force that I almost forgot she had my baby inside her womb.
Loula cried out like a wanton woman as I slammed deep inside her. We both climaxed at the same time, and our bodies shuddered in ecstasy as we lay now in each other’s arms, sweating and out of breath. I whispered my love for her in the dark. This was what I lived for. This was what I would one day die for.
My eyes drifted over her breasts and down her belly, and a strangled sound escaped my lips. I was still aroused, and my shaft was still throbbing. I wondered if Loula felt the same as I did as my hands reached between her legs and I skillfully played her until she screamed for me to take her one more time. I was bewildered as to why fate wanted to punish us by keeping us apart. This was what I was born to do. This was my fate. This was my sweet obsession. I waited and entered her slowly this time. I wanted her to beg for me to take her. And beg she did.
She cried for me to make love to her, to take her to new heights she had never reached before. She cried my name again and again until tears rolled down her face. I shuddered wildly inside her as I came, spilling my seed once again inside her. She purred like a wild cat and collapsed in my arms. We both lay there, our bodies still trembling from our lovemaking. I trailed kisses along her long, slender neck, and she intertwined her fingers in my hair and pulled my head down until my lips reached and sucked at her breasts. She moved in rhythm to my body. I was still inside her, and she could not get enough of me or I of her.
How many people could say that their love life was as powerful as ours? No one could because it didn’t exist anywhere else in the universe. We had it all right here under the stars, and that was why I could never let her go. She was my match in every way. I would die for her if I had to.
The moon cast its moonbeams on Loula’s body, and she looked like a goddess as she lifted her body to a sitting position and her hair fell down her waist. I held my breath. Her beauty was above and beyond anything I had ever seen. With trembling hands, I reached up and caressed her breast. They were much fuller than I knew them to be. It was because she was with child, my child.
I closed my eyes and pulled her to me. As she lay on top of me, I asked hoarsely, “Do you love me?” I held my breath as I waited for her reply. I knew the answer, but I still wanted to hear it from her lips. It had been a while since she last told me, and I yearned to hear it again.
“You know I do, Nidal. I love you desperately with every fiber of my being. I love you more than I love myself, but not more than I love my child, Nidal,” she said passionately.
And I looked at her and said hoarsely, “Our child, Loula. It is our child.” I claimed her mouth before she uttered another word.
Hours later, spent and exhausted, just before the sun rose, we reluctantly got up and walked back to the palace. We promised each other that we would meet like this many times again. Neither of us mentioned the wedding that was supposed to take place today. In our hearts, we pretended that it was not happening as we kissed each other one last time before we entered the palace.
We both tiptoed down the corridor, not wanting to make any noise, lest the servants or, worse yet, Shaeena or Billal hear us. And as we parted, my heart went with her up the stairs to her room. I slipped inside my room quietly and found Shaeena breastfeeding the baby. She followed me with her eyes to the bathroom. Minutes later when I came out, she said not one word to me as I lay next to her in bed and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I had nightmares all night, and when I woke up early the next morning, it was to a little baby crying. The tiny little bundle of joy was not happy, and her mother was not able to calm her down.
I jumped out of bed and headed straight for the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I went to the sink to wash my face and remembered that today was the day my beloved was going to marry Billal. My heart hammered against my chest at the thought of Loula married to that man. I needed to find a way to stop the wedding. At that moment, I heard commotion in the room. Concerned, I opened the bathroom door just in time to hear the servant shouting in tears that the king had had a heart attack. My heart pumped fiercely at the announcement, and I wasted no time as I raced out of the room wearing only my underpants and headed toward my father’s bedchamber.
My mother was crying, and she begged God to spare her husband’s life. I wrapped myself with my father’s silk robe that lay by the chair next to his bed. I took my mother in my arms, and tried to comfort her. The doctor had just arrived and was seeing to Father. I heard the ringing of the bells in the tower. They were letting the people know something serious had happened. My father looked dead as he lay there, but I could see his chest rising and falling slowly, a sign he was still alive. I walked over to my father, and a lump formed in my throat. I was mad at him, but I still loved him and did not wish him ill. I dropped to my knees by his side, and my mother joined me. We both prayed to God for his well-being.
Moments later, the doctor completed his check-up. “The king will survive the heart attack. He needs rest and by no means is any one allowed to stress him out in any way. His heart is weak and it needs to regain its strength back,” he said firmly.
The doctor and I left the room, leaving Mother and the servants behind to watch over the king.
“Doctor, would you mind kindly if you stayed at the palace until Father is out of danger?” I begged.
“Of course I will stay. It is my duty to make sure the king is out of danger,” he said without hesitation.
The doctor’s quarters were just down the hall from my father’s bedchamber. He had been given his own space here at the palace ever since Loula and Shaeena had been with child. In case of an emergency, he had to be on call all day and all night until the babies were born, but there were times where he left for days at a time to attend to things that needed his attention at his home where his practice was located.
I leaned against the wall for support, allowing the tears to stream down my face. They were not all painful tears. They were happy tears as well. Although I did not want any harm to befall my father, the heart attack he had suffered meant there would be no wedding today. This would allow me some time to come up with a plan, one that would ensure the safety of Loula and our baby. I wiped away the tears and thanked the good Lord for helping my father stay alive and for allowing me more time to figure out what to do.
The palace was full of people, yet there was not a single sound to be heard. It was for the king’s benefit that all was quiet. He needed his rest, and everyone did his or her best to comply. I stayed with my father the whole day, and I even slept in the room at night to keep an eye on him while my mother went to her chambers. She was exhausted, and I sent her away to get some rest. She reluctantly left, and I promised her that I would send for her if anything changed.
Sometime in the middle of the night, sleep had not claimed me yet. I thought I heard a noise in the hallway, and I slowly opened the door to my father’s bedchamber and peeked out in the hallway just in time to see my mother slip into the guest room where the doctor was staying and close the door behind her. I was baffled, not understanding what she was doing in that room.
When like a bolt of lightning, it hit me. She was having an affair with the doctor. No wonder he always showed much concern about my mother’s welfare. I always thought it odd that he was always around at a moment’s notice. Thinking back, I remembered the secret looks he gave my mother when he thought I was not looking. I remembered many times his hand resting on my mother’s hand, and I always thought it was a friendly gesture. Now I knew there was more to it.
I could never be angry at my mother if she had been having an affair with him. My father deserved everything he got. He was not an attentive husband. Years ago, he ordered her a different bedchamber, saying he needed space. But I knew that every night thereafter, he brought many women to his bed. He never asked for her to return to his room all these years. It was just recently that I noticed she had been visiting him at night. All those years ago, my mother had been lonely, and she had looked elsewhere for comfort. I blamed her not! I slowly closed the door, tiptoed back to my father’s side, and sat in the chair. I was wide awake the rest of the night. Sleep eluded me.
Right before daybreak, I heard my mother’s soft footsteps, and I immediately ran to the door. I opened it and I saw my mother quietly enter her own room and close her door, none the wiser. I snuck out of my father’s room, and I went to my mother’s. I tapped on her door lightly. A second later, the door opened slightly, and she was surprised to see me standing there.
“Is something wrong, Nidal? Did something happen to your father?” she asked, concerned, motioning for me to enter.
I knew not what to say, so I just looked at her in silence. A few seconds later, she mouthed the word “oh” and slumped against the wall. I pulled my mother into my arms and held her tight. She started to cry, and I comforted her.
“Mother, I do not pass judgement on you. Father has mentally abused you for many years. I understand completely your need to take a lover to your bed. Your choice of a lover is a wise one, Mother. The doctor is very discreet, and above all, he is kind and affectionate. He has dedicated his life to the throne, and I for one like him immensely,” I told her, hoping to make her feel better.
“Mother, do not feel ashamed. Any woman in your position would have done the same. I hold no grudge against you. In fact, I think you are a very brave
woman, and you deserve to be happy. I know Father could never give you the love you need and deserve, so you looked elsewhere.” I tried to ease her embarrassment. “I, for one, think you should have taken many lovers. If I were in your shoes, I would have done just that.” I smiled down at her. Then I took her hand and pulled her to the couch. We both sat down and tried to make sense of our lives.
We talked until the sun came out and the birds started chirping playfully outside. It was a glorious morning, and I knew that somehow everything was going to be fine. We had the talk of a lifetime. I told her my deep innermost feelings and explained to her that I could not and would not make a life without Loula. I had her blessings, and it was a good feeling to have at least one of my parents on my side.
“Thank you, son, for not passing judgement on my trespasses. You know that I love your father, but there is a huge void in my life. I feel lonely and unloved by your father. The doctor fills that void with so much love that I feel complete when I am with him.”
I understood. Loula did that to me too. She fulfilled my every desire.
“Be careful, Mother, if Father suspects your affair, he will scream treason, and place the doctor’s head on a silver plater, not to mention what he will do to you,” I warned her.
“Do not worry about me. I am being super careful.” She said, “Son, please don’t think ill of me. I never wanted to go behind your father’s back. It just happened, and I have never been happier.” She started to cry again.
I took her in my arms and wiped away her tears. “Mother, did I ever tell you that you are my hero?” I said very emotionally. “You are a brave woman. You stand on your own two feet and have never wavered. Even after Father threw you blow after blow of heartaches over the years. You survived and overcame it all.” I was proud at that moment that she was my mother.
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