by Sable Hunter
Yet…he knew in his heart he wasn’t ready to take on the commitment. To tie himself down to a huge job that would require every bit of his attention. Nathan prayed his brothers would soon come to understand and not hold his decision against him.
Deep in thought, he walked further than he realized. When he stopped to take note of his location, Nathan realized he’d ventured into a densely wooded area filled with ashe junipers and oaks. As he gazed around him, he heard a hoot of an owl and the powerful whoosh of wings as it sailed through the air in search of prey. About to turn around and retrace his steps, he heard something that sounded out of place. Freezing in his tracks, he listened closely until he could detect the sound again.
A whine.
The noise sounded so lonely and so desperate that he couldn’t bring himself to ignore it. Stepping deeper into the shadows, he stared at the darkness until he could discern shapes. “Oh, no.” Moving into a slight clearing where the moonlight broke through, Nathan saw an animal lying on the ground. Venturing closer, he could see it was a dead coywolf. As best he could tell in the darkness, it had died from a wound in the neck – from a fight most probably. Knowing this animal hadn’t made the noise he heard, Nathan began to search in earnest. What he found brought a whisper of concern to his lips. “Oh, hey, little fella.”
A young coywolf pup hunkered down next to a stump. Kneeling near it, Nathan tried to ascertain if it was injured. He couldn’t tell, it was just too dark. “It’s okay. I just want to help you. If I leave you here, you’re going to be that owl’s supper.” Wanting to protect himself from tiny, sharp teeth, Nathan took off his coat and bent to wrap it around the scared creature. “Just be still. Hold on.” Of course the animal struggled, but it was small and weak. Nathan hoped it wasn’t injured severely. Straightening, he cuddled the baby coywolf to his side. “It’s okay. We’ll get you some help and something to eat.” Taking one last look at the dead adult, he turned to go. “Sorry about your mama. Just take it easy, we’ll get away from that old bird asap.”
As he made his way toward the cabin, the coywolf shook hard and whimpered. Nathan felt sorry for it. “I know you don’t understand I’m trying to help.” Concentrating, he tried to send a message to the small creature. “Everything’s going to be fine. I found you. You’re not alone anymore.”
A few minutes later, Nathan walked into camp. He was met by Jacob and Isaac.
“So, walking away has become your go-to move?” Isaac asked.
“Better than arguing,” Nathan answered as he moved past his brother.
“What do you have there?” Jacob asked in an even tone.
“A young coywolf,” he answered evenly. “Do we have a first aid kit?”
“In the cabin.” Jacob led the way. “Bring it in and let’s take a look.”
Following his brother inside, Nathan made for the kitchen table.
“Let me spread out some towels and get a good flashlight.”
He held the jacket tightly to keep the coywolf from trying to jump off the table. “I didn’t have a choice but to bring him, Jacob. His mother was dead.”
“How? Could you tell?”
“It wasn’t a trap or a gunshot.”
“Poisoned?”
“No. It looked like an animal attack. Her throat was all bloody.”
“Probably an animal from another pack. They get nasty over territory.” Jacob sat down to look at the coywolf. “Hold him good.”
Again, Nathan tried to convey peace and comfort to the creature. “It’s okay. Everything’s going to be fine.” He wished he felt the same way about his own situation.
“Hmmm. No bones are broken, and the bites seem superficial. Let me put on some antibiotic salve and wrap up this leg. I bet its sprained and bruised. Probably painful.”
As Jacob worked, the cabin door opened, and Aron came in. “What have you gone and done now?”
By the tone of his older brother’s voice, Nathan knew there’d be no reasoning with him. “I saved a coywolf cub. He’s scared, thirsty, and hungry.”
“It’s a wild animal.”
“I’m aware.” Nathan didn’t meet Aron’s gaze, but he could feel his gaze burning through him. “I’m sorry about earlier.”
“We’re not through with that discussion.”
“I am.” Nathan announced in a quiet tone.
“We’ll see about that.”
“It’s a boy, by the way.” Jacob rose, always the peacemaker. “Aron, isn’t there a live trap in the tool shed from when we relocated that skunk a few days ago?”
“Yea, I think so.” He stood there a moment, then left with a huff.
Keeping a steady hand on his patient, Jacob nodded toward the back of the cabin. “Nathan, get one of the older towels to go in the bottom of the crate.”
“Okay.” By the time he returned, Aron was placing the live trap on the floor.
“Here, hold him.”
Aron grimaced but did as Jacob asked. He didn’t say a word to Nathan.
Diplomatic Jacob acted like everything was fine. “I’ll get the little fella some water and…hmmm. Left over steak, it is.”
Nathan touched the pup’s head, conveying protection. “Did you hear that, Lobo? You’re going to have steak for dinner.”
Aron bent to open the door to the crate. “Don’t get attached, Nathan. If you aren’t going to take it back to the pack, you’ll have to find one of those wildlife preserves.”
Nathan didn’t answer. He didn’t want to argue at the moment. “Let’s get you settled so you can rest, boy.” Squatting by the crate, he eased the animal inside. He felt bad, the little wolf was so scared.
Jacob brought the food and water. “Let’s turn out the light and leave him alone for a while. The peace and quiet will calm him.”
“I hope so.” Standing, Nathan spoke softly. “I’ll be back. Okay?”
“Come on.” Holding the door open, Jacob flipped off the light. “The family is waiting on you.”
As Nathan moved to join his brothers, he wished he were anywhere else but here. They were seated in a semi-circle around the campfire like a counsel of warriors, every eye trained on him. Louder than before, he could hear their mental voices shouting their thoughts. Desperately, he tried to ignore them. He didn’t want to get angry. Anger was such a useless emotion in family disagreements. Despite their differences, he knew they were coming from a place of love and concern. Nathan vowed to continue the discussion in a respectful and calm manner.
“Sit down.” This abrupt direction came from Aron.
Nathan did so, his lips pressed together in determination. “Look, I’m sorry about all of this.”
“You should be. All we’re trying to do is set you up for life, bud.”
Nathan noticed their elder brother wore a tired and defeated expression. He knew Aron was dealing with far more than this situation. Almost, he relented. How easy it would be to just go along with what they wanted. Everyone would be happy – but him. “Let me be clear,” Nathan began, “I realize what you’re trying to do, and I appreciate it.”
“You’re not acting like it,” Noah flung the words at him.
“I’m sorry.” If he just kept apologizing, maybe this would soon be over. “I like what I’m doing on the ranch now.”
“What are you doing? Exactly?” This sharp challenge came from Isaac.
“Hey.” Jacob held up a steadying hand. “Let’s…”
“What do you mean?” Nathan interrupted, feeling as if he were being attacked by the people he loved the most. “I do what I’m asked to do.” He pointed his finger down the line at them. “By all five of you.” They didn’t respond, so he went a step further. “On any given day, each one of you gives me direction – an assignment, a favor. Do you even coordinate it among yourselves?”
“Are you saying you’re overworked?” Joseph asked.
“Sometimes.” Nathan admitted. “I’m not complaining, however. I enjoy most of what I do, and I want to do my part.”
/>
“Yes.” Aron took a deep breath before he went any further. “But we were trying to give you the opportunity to oversee it all, coordinate the work. You’d be in charge.”
Nathan waited a couple of heartbeats before he responded. “I’m sorry. I’m just not ready to take on that role. I’m not even sure I want to be a rancher.” There – he’d said it.
Silence fell on the camp and the only noise to be heard was the sounds the cattle made as they milled around them. And then Aron sighed. “Well, if that don’t beat all.” He stood up, removed his hat, and slapped it on his thigh. “I’m going to bed. Nathan, you take first watch.”
Jumping up Nathan left the circle of light, grateful to seek the refuge of the night.
Jacob relieved Nathan around one in the morning. He didn’t say much, he just gave his younger brother a hug and a promise everything would be fine.
After checking on the coywolf, sleep proved to be elusive. Nevertheless, Nathan rose with the dawn and saddled the horses while the others ate breakfast. Just before Jacob packed everything up, he made his way to the stove to claim a biscuit and a piece of bacon. He ate the biscuit and gave the bacon to the little wolf who seemed to be feeling better.
“You’re not taking that thing with us, are you?” Noah asked.
“I am.” He was still working on the logistics, but Nathan didn’t intend to leave the animal behind. “I need a new pet.”
“Tebow isn’t Winterfell, Jon Snow,” Isaac muttered, even as he came forward to check out the pup.
“And Lobo isn’t a dire-wolf. He’ll be just fine. Wait and see. Everything will be fine.”
Isaac whistled long and low. “I hope so, bud. I hope so.”
In no time, they hit the trail. Nathan rode with the small crate across his lap. At first Lobo didn’t like his perch, but after a bit he settled down. The cattle seemed as anxious to get moving as the men were. Thankfully, they made the journey without a hitch.
When the cattle drive arrived at their destination, Denver and Cruz met them to take charge of the herd. Nathan offered to help, but Aron had other ideas. “After you clean up, join me in my office.”
“Sure thing.” His heart sank. As far as he was concerned, there wasn’t anything more to discuss. After tending to Buck, he found an empty stall to house Lobo until he could come up with a better plan. Once he made a soft bed of loose hay, he found a dishpan to fill with water. “There, that’ll hold you until I can do better.” As he shut the stall door, he was rewarded with a begging whimper for him to stay. “Don’t worry. I won’t be gone long.”
Hurrying away, he slipped in the kitchen door and bounded up the back staircase. Nathan didn’t relish any further conversation at the moment. After a quick shower, he redressed. “Time to face the music.” He wasn’t looking forward to what Aron had to say.
When he entered the sanctum, the elder McCoy sat behind his desk. “Have a seat.” He gestured to one of the leather side chairs in front of him. “We need to clear the air.”
“I’m not sure what there is left to say.”
“Well, there’s plenty.” He leaned back and put his feet on top of the desk. “I’m concerned about you.”
“Oh, really?” Nathan couldn’t imagine where this was going. “I’m fine. Business as usual for me.”
“Business as usual isn’t good enough. You’re almost twenty-one.”
“Right. I’m a grown-ass man.” Nathan didn’t intend to come off as combative, but it was hard to keep his tone even.
“Yea. Thus…you need to get your act together.”
“Thus?” Nathan shook his head in disbelief. “I fear you’re being a bit archaic, big brother.”
“No, I’m sitting in the stead of our daddy.”
“You aren’t my daddy.”
“No, but I’m the closest thing you got, and I take that seriously.”
“I wish you wouldn’t.”
“Tough.” Aron pinned him with a stare. “The way I see it you have three choices.” He held up three fingers.
“What are they?”
“One, you take the job that was offered you.”
Nathan didn’t say anything – he just waited.
“Second, you can go to school full-time. On campus.”
“And three?”
“Three, you sign on as a full-time, salaried ranch hand of Tebow.”
“You want me to work for Denver?”
“Right.”
Nathan closed his eyes. “Probably would be a sight better than reporting to the five of you.”
“Is that what you want? To be one of Tebow’s ranch hands?”
However well intentioned, he knew his brother was baiting him. Aron was trying to force his hand. Well, he didn’t plan on cooperating. Standing to his feet, he looked at his brother eye to eye. “I’ll need some time to think about it.”
Apparently, his response surprised Aron. “Think?”
“Yea, is that too much to ask?”
“No. Not at all.” Aron threw up his hands. “Take your time. Think long and hard. After all, this is just your future we’re talking about here.”
“Thanks.” Nathan turned and left, not giving his elder sibling time to say anything more.
Fleeing the main house, he made for the barn to check on Lobo. The pup was fine. “Let me take care of a few chores and I’ll sneak you into the house for lunch.”
Even as he voiced the thought, Nathan couldn’t help but wonder how this fiasco would right itself. How would things change? How did he want them to change?
With no ready answer, he set out to accomplish the task he’d planned for today before all hell broke loose. Sometimes following a routine is the best way to keep a clear mind. Heading for the heavy equipment shed, Nathan found the fertilizer he intended to spread. After filling the tank with the appropriate mixture, he climbed aboard the tractor and drove through the big bay doors. One of the hands saw him coming and opened the gate. Nathan raised his hand in gratitude.
A short drive later, he began the process of fertilizing the hay meadows. As he operated the machinery, he considered the ultimatum he’d been given. The manager job, full-time student, or working ranch hand. Nathan knew most anyone would be envious of the choices before him. Even the later one, working as a hand on his own ranch, wasn’t a bad one. In essence, wasn’t that what he was doing now? The only difference would be he was getting paid. Having always been given whatever he needed by his parents and then by his brothers, money had never been an issue for him. He always had plenty of spending money and if anything he needed wasn’t readily available – all he had to do was make mention of it, and someone would see that he got what he needed. Nathan knew he’d never been greedy or a spendthrift, he wasn’t one to waste money. So…how would this work if he became a cowhand at Tebow? Would he pay rent? Have to move out? The concept didn’t scare him, but he didn’t particularly like the idea.
On the other hand, school did give him pause. Not the work, but the interactions. Being around so many people for extended periods of time could be its own form of torture. Like it or not, he wasn’t your average joe. No, he was a super-sensitive freak who’d rather be by himself than in a crowd.
“Damn. What am I going to do?”
Like he’d told Aron, he needed time to think about it. This wasn’t going to be an easy decision.
Of course, there was another option…Nathan thought. He could leave. Go somewhere else, start over, and be his own man for real. But where? And doing what?
Chapter 5
“No, don’t go. Don’t go.”
Nathan sat up so fast in the bed, he almost knocked Lobo for a loop. His heart was pounding. “Sorry, fella.” He rubbed his face. “Oh, man.” He’d had that dream again. This time for the third night in a row. Nathan could remember having it before, on and off throughout the years. It was always the same – as soon as he woke up, the details slipped through his fingers like shifting sand. He couldn’t remember anything about it, oth
er than it starred a girl and the dream made him happy.
Oh, well. His dreams were the only thing in his life he could look forward to at the moment. He hadn’t expected things to deteriorate with his family – but they had. “What does that say about my psychic ability, Lobo?”
He sat on his bed letting the small pup play with one of his socks.
Not even the coywolf had an answer.
Checking the clock, he saw it was time to get up. “Rest here, boy.” He left his wee companion lying on the pillow.
After a quick shower, he left the bathroom clad only in a towel. Strolling to his dresser, he began to rummage in the drawers for clothes. Picking non- discriminately, he tossed jeans, a tee, underwear, and socks on the bed. As he raised his head, he caught sight of his own reflection. “Nathan McCoy, is it? So, what’s your plan? Do you think you have it in you to return to the rodeo? How about becoming a wildcatter? You could work offshore on an oil rig.” Glancing at his bare-chested self, he flexed his muscles. “Oh, yea. I know. You should become a romance novel cover model.” Avery’s alter-ego, Sable Hunter, could set him right up. Maybe.
He leaned closer to the mirror, studying his own face. Raising a hand, he rubbed the short scruff on his jaw. “Should I shave?” Nah. What for? Bending even closer to his reflection, he smiled – studying his teeth. “Look, ma. No cavities.” At the casual mention of his mother, he drew back – the flash of pain a bit of a surprise. “Grow up, boy. Isn’t that what this is all about? You’re almost twenty-one. What are you going to do with your life?”
The question was one he’d asked himself a million times in the last few days. His brothers weren’t letting up, the pressure was still on. Even the wives were getting in on the act. Talk about pressure. Skye even tried to set him up on a blind date. She thought having a steady girlfriend at home might make a difference. The very thought made him groan. Yea, he’d like to have a normal social life. He wanted sex. Sometimes his body ached for release so badly he could scream. He wanted to touch – and be touched. Yet…the very thing he craved was what brought him the most pain. Touching someone else opened the door to their thoughts and he just couldn’t handle the turmoil. This wasn’t something he’d shared with anyone – not even Cady knew how alone he felt.