Finally they pulled into the car wash, and she rushed and bumbled to get something out before the attendants approached them. “Hal, thank you—thank you for the envelope. I mean, what was inside it. I mean, um, oh, hell. Did you do something illegal?”
His eyes inscrutable behind the shades, he remained silent and stony-faced. Clint Eastwood, eat your heart out. This is one cool dude. A rebel—for my cause.
Is there anything more romantic? More sexy?
Finally his lips twitched. “If I tell you, then I’ll have to kill you.”
“No, really. Are you, like, a criminal?”
His smile got wider, displaying a lot of gleaming white teeth. Why had she ever thought he needed whitening strips?
“Why? Does that turn you on?”
Her cheeks got hotter and she let out an embarrassed laugh.
He leaned toward her. “Then, yes. I’m a dangerous renegade. I’m wild and untamable. Only one individual can control me…” He grabbed her arm and she jumped. “My woman.”
She grinned. “Really?”
“Yep.”
The attendant got to them and asked what she wanted. “Oh,” she said vaguely, “a car wash. And then I’ll need the carpets shampooed.” She couldn’t look away from her newfound sexy felon.
“Pull up over there, ma’am.”
She nodded.
“Punch the green button when you’re ready.”
“Okay.” She tore her gaze away from Hal and moved the car into position. Then she took his hand. She had to get this out. “I’m so sorry that I thought you’d lied to me. You didn’t, did you? I saw the news.”
“No, I didn’t lie. I was trying to get myself disentangled from Tina, but I guess the sound effects on your end must have been disturbing.”
“I went crazy,” she admitted.
“So you were jealous?”
“Out of my mind jealous.”
“That’s not very cool.”
“No, it’s not, is it?”
“Especially when you had told me to move on and see other people.”
“I said that for your own good. I didn’t want you to become fixated on me…it’s happened to me in the past for all the wrong reasons.”
“I’m not fixated on your looks, Shan. One day you’ll be wrinkled and humpbacked and saggy with all the rest of us. I’ll still love you because of your personality and your sense of humor and that funny thing you do with your mouth when you get embarrassed about compliments like this.”
“Humpbacked?” she asked, with distaste.
“Yup. You’ll be my little Quasimodo. And I’ll have nose and ear hair, plus wattles like a turkey. But we’ll have the most fantastic senior sex for miles around.”
She started to laugh.
“We’ll knock out each other’s false teeth. We’ll fall off the bed and not be able to get up. We’ll invent a whole new position called The Walker.”
“Stop it,” she gasped. When she recovered, she said, “I love you.”
“What?”
“I love you.” She took a deep breath. “I do. I think I’ve loved you since you answered to the name ‘Saddam’ and sprung a woody in my visitor’s chair.”
He cringed. “You noticed that?”
“Sorry. It was like the Washington Monument. It was unavoidable.”
“Thank you. I think.” He leaned over and kissed her, long and hard. His stubble scraped her face as he pulled away. “There is only one thing that stops me from indecently proposing to you right this minute.”
“Really?” She was delighted. Then she frowned. “Is it because I’m a little wacky?”
“No.” His expression turned serious, and her heart sank.
“Is it because you’re already married?”
He shook his head. “No, that’s not it.”
She’d been kidding, but she exhaled in relief anyway. “Is it because we’ve only known each other about three weeks?”
Hal took her chin in his hand. “Yeah, that’s partly it. We should wait at least four. But the main reason is that I want my damn pants back!”
She threw her arms wide, accidentally hitting the green car-wash button. “Oh, is that all? I have— Oh, shit! The top’s down!”
But it was too late. She’d parked in correct position, and they were pulled forward by the mechanized car wash.
“Duck,” Hal yelled.
Blue and white rotating foam straps whirred down on them, beating them and dumping cold, soapy water everywhere. They hunched over and just prayed for it to be over soon. They went through another beating with the second wash cycle and then finally endured the rinse.
Approximately five minutes later, they emerged on the other side. Hal stared at the vehicular lake they were now riding in, tried to glare at her, but broke down laughing. “When you asked me to take a ride with the insane, I had no idea.”
Shannon shifted against her drenched seat and winced. “Uh, sorry?” She pushed her wet hair out of her face and wrung it out.
“You have destroyed this car. The only thing you’re fit to drive is an army-issue jeep, and I’m not sure I’d trust you with that. I don’t know that I’d even give you a Big Wheel.”
She ignored these comments. “As I was saying,” she informed him, “I have your pants in the trunk.”
“The Dumpster pants?”
“Well, no. But one of the original pairs that came out of your closet. I bought them back from Goodwill.”
He wiped his face with the back of his hand and squinted at her. “You gonna charge me for them?”
“Only a very modest handling fee—aaaiiieeeee!” He tackled her and tickled. “Stop it!” She shrieked. “Stop! Okay, okay, they’re free! I was kidding….”
Breathless, she collapsed against the wet seat and surveyed the car again. “Well, at least it was already moldy in here. That’s something.”
“You’re something. Something else!” Hal kissed her again, and they fell into a wet, tangled heap while several car-wash attendants looked on curiously and elbowed each other in the ribs.
When he raised his head, he said, “Do you, crazy Shannon, take me, Hal, to be your awfully wetted boyfriend?”
She traced his jaw with her fingers and looked into his impossibly blue eyes. She’d never loved any man like she loved Hal. He’d turned her inside out…and liked her even better that way.
“Well, of course I do. Now shut up and kiss me.”
ISBN: 978-1-4268-5941-0
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Copyright © 2005 by Karen Moser.
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