by Piper Frost
"I ain't tryin' to call this quits, Kinlee!" I go to move toward her but my back keeps me in place. "Every time you break down, you point out I ain't the man I used to be. What the fuck do you want from me?" I look over my shoulder at Will standing in the doorway and drop my head.
I knew they were in the house, but I'm heated and stupidly didn't shut my damn mouth.
"Cut the guy some slack, Kinlee!" he screams at her.
"Will," I mumble.
"You're always bitchin' 'bout somethin'! Always actin' like such a bitch!"
"Will!" I shout and the walls shake with my roar. "Take yourself outside before I remove you, boy. Don't take that tone with your sister or talk to her like that again. I catch you, and you're going to regret it."
I watch him storm out the back door. When it slams behind him, it pops from the hinges at the top and I huff.
"I don't know how to keep you happy, Kinlee." I look over at her as she frantically keeps swiping at the tears rolling down her cheeks. I want to move to her and hug her, forget about any of this, but this is far from over.
"I wish I was enough for you," she whispers. "You've said it before. You're not changing for anyone. It's not fair of me to ask you to change, Bo. I get it. I just wish you'd realize you don't need all that extra excitement in your life. That I'm good enough, we're good enough." She furiously wipes her running nose. "I'm terrified of losing you. Today, tomorrow, next year. Terrified, Bo."
"You ain't gonna lose me like you think. You're more than enough for me, Kinlee. When I'm around you, you get my blood flowin'." I look out the window and see Will throwing an axe at a target. "You're all the adrenaline I need. But...you...we don't have but a few hours a week for each other. We spend most of those fightin' lately. I knew goin' into this that you're busy. And you knew goin' into this that I got a little boy's brain up in this head I need to occupy the twenty hours a day I ain't with you."
"You can occupy it with things like huntin'. Fishin'. Sitting still. Hell, there's lots to occupy your time with. I wish I didn't have to work this much and we could spend every hour together, but I got bills that need paid, kids that need fed. This place is expensive to keep up, Bo."
"Kinlee, if I fuckin' breathe heavy you start about my back. I hunt. I fish. I move to catch a griddle from burning Wendy and you lose your shit. I'm done here today. You need your space away from me 'cause I ain't gonna stop moving today, and I need some time from you." I walk over to her and quickly kiss her cheek. "I love you, but I ain't going to lay up in a bed so you don't have to worry."
I walk out the back door and find Will, immediately smelling gas. "Boy, you better not be playin' with gasoline," I warn as I round the corner of the shed.
"I ain't, Bo," he swears and everything looks sorted.
"That woman in there is all you have. You don't talk to women like that, you got me?"
"Yes, sir." He nods and drops his head.
"She's killin' herself to provide for you and your sister and that's how you treat her?" My voice is raising and I try to reel it in some, but this entire morning's got me going.
"She's pushing you away! She's gonna break up with you and then we ain't gonna see you no more!"
"That ain't true," I grit out because the thought of not being with Kinlee makes me angrier than anything that just happened. "She's scared. I'm hurt, you're being a disrespectful punk, she's scared and she's tired! Lay off your sister or you and me won't be spendin' much time together anymore. I don't know how to teach you respect but by takin' away things you love. Maybe you should stay away from my place for a few days. Think about everything she does for you because next time I catch wind of you talking to your sister like that, we'll move straight to an ass beating," I growl and immediately regret it. "Shit, Will," I huff and rub at the tension in my forehead. "I don't mean that, but don't." When I point at him sternly, he nods.
I head to my truck and when I glance in the window I see Kinlee and Wendy hugging and I huff, almost going back in, but I need the space. I need to stop at the pharmacy and pick up the pain pills I never did when my script ran out. As I enter town, my cell rings and seeing it's Kinlee, I snatch it up.
"Baby, I'm sorry," I answer, hating we can't get through this without fighting. I love the woman fiercely and it makes the fights fiercer.
"You gotta get back here. I called the fire department but they're not fast enough and I can't..." She curses and yells something at Wendy. "It's burning, Bo! The entire house!"
I whip the truck around, not even bothering asking questions. She's frantic and I hear the kids screaming at each other in the background.
"Kinlee, y'all ain't in that house, are you? There's nothing you need to get out of that house but yourselves." My foot pushes on the pedal and I leave a cloud of gray smoke behind me as I start speeding up to ninety.
I can't hear anything but screaming. The phone rustles and Wendy's voice comes trembling through the line. "She just ran back inside," she says, sniffling. "All we have left of our parents is in there, Bo!"
"Hang tight, I'll be there in a minute," I blurt, tossing my phone to the seat next to me and get the truck to one-twenty. I see the black smoke from four miles away and before I roll, taking the turn into their driveway, I slow down.
Throwing the truck in park, I see Kinlee stumbling out of the house with her hands full and I jump out, not letting my back slow me down while I yank her off the porch as the left side of the house collapses in on itself.
"Kinlee," I shout at her, holding her too tight as she's coughing, gasping for air but seeing her run from a blazing house is one of the worst sights I've ever witnessed. Grabbing Wendy's arm, I pull her and Kinlee farther away from the house then look around for Will. "Where is he?" I shout, not able to spot him anywhere and I have a feeling he did this.
Pushing the girls toward the truck, I run to the back of the house and find Will with the hose, spraying the flames but it's not doin' enough. As the back porch collapses, I grab him and pull him back before he's hit by debris. Fighting away from my hold, he grabs the hose and continues to try and extinguish the flames claiming their belongings.
"Stop, Will! It's gone!" I pull him back again and when he breaks into tears, I hold him close and move farther away from the house.
My lungs burn and I can't get in a full breath. I also can't tear my eyes away from the last part of my childhood burning to the ground. Every memory I shared with my parents, be it good or bad, I held onto tight inside those walls. Now they're gone. I grabbed a handful of photos from the living room before I couldn't take the smoke anymore. But that's it. Everything else is gone. Staring at my memories going up in flames, I zone out, thinking back to the last fire I saw in person like this. It was at the Kenshaw Ranch and it was terrifying. Watching my house, the twin's home, my parent's hard work go up in flames is gut wrenching.
"Kinlee," Wendy peeps from beside me and I snap out of it.
I grab her and wrap my arms around tight as she breaks down. I squeeze my eyes closed, waiting for my breakdown but it's not coming yet. I think I'm in shock. The sound of sirens makes my heart flutter with hope but when I look back at the house, my heart immediately sinks again. Nothing can be salvaged.
"I'm so sorry, Wendy," I whisper, smoothing her hair down as she cries into my shirt.
"Everything's gone," she whispers.
"We're safe though. It's fine. We'll be fine," I mutter the words that I don't even know if I believe.
This house was all we had that we could call ours.
When I see Bo, he's got Will under his arm who's covered in soot with tears streaking down his face.
When Bo lets him go he runs for me. "I'm sorry," he screams over and over, holding me tight enough I can't breathe.
"Will, why are you apologizing?" I think I already know, but I don't want to believe it. My eyes dart to Bo and he's got his arms crossed in front of him, glaring at Will. My stomach drops.
"It was supposed to go the other way. I'm sorry,
Kinlee, I'm sorry." He cries.
I yank him tight against me and watch the firefighters try to get the blaze of our house under control. We can't talk about this right now; I can't wrap my head around this right now. Especially because I need some oxygen.
It takes hours to turn the blaze into a smoldering pile of ash. I feel so numb, and I can't process anything anymore today. I feel empty. Cold. Angry. Sad. So fucking tired.
By the time we're in Bo's truck, on the way to his house, Bo's not said more than ten words all afternoon. The firemen had things to tell us and I hope he was listening because I don't remember a word they said. I think they told us when the fire marshal will be out to inspect the blaze. I think they told us where to go from here. I have homeowners insurance, but I can't even think about processing any of that right now. This cannot be considered the type of accident my insurance will cover. A pyro-obsessed brother is not covered on my policy.
Bo pulls the truck to a stop in his driveway and I stare at his house. Massive, not burned to the ground, and a hint of jealousy stirs in my belly, but I know it's only because of everything I've been through today.
"Kinlee, can I go to the horses?" Wendy asks quietly.
I pull her in for another hug, grateful my siblings are okay. "Of course. Please be careful." I feel like I'm running on autopilot, and as I walk into Bo's house I feel a chill come through my body.
When I look over at him, I don't know what my face is saying or portraying but he wraps an arm around me and walks me into the kitchen, grabbing the kettle to start some tea. He's been talking, but I haven't registered anything yet and can’t find the words to respond.
The only things I have left in my life are my siblings, and Bo. And from the fight we had today, he's getting real tired of me not being okay with his choice of lifestyle. If he leaves me, I'm ruined. If I stay with him, and keep falling this hard for him, then he dies? I'm more than ruined.
Will walks into the kitchen after cleaning himself up in Bo's bathroom. He silently sits at the table and I notice Bo glare at him. I turn in my seat at the counter and look real close at the mopey teenager in front of me. I heard what he said at the house. His words won't leave my head, but the afternoon turned chaotic and we're finally able to sit down and talk about what he said.
"What did you mean when you said it was supposed to go the other way, Will?" My throat still burns and when the kettle goes off, Bo makes quick work of grabbing the tea bag and setting the cup in front of me.
Bo hands him a glass of milk then sits next to me; he scoots his chair closer then slides his hand over my thigh.
"Tell us everything that happened," Bo calmly says, while Will stares into his glass of milk.
"I was letting off steam." He looks up at Bo. "Like you told me to do when I'm pissed about something," he mumbles. "I was hitting a target by the shed and the hatchet...got away from me." His sorry gaze won't look up and it's making my blood start to boil.
"Will, what're you saying to me? A hatchet won't burn a house down."
"A burning one will..." he mumbles and sets his head in his hands.
My eyes go wide when I realize what he did. "Will?" I choke out his name. I want to scream at him but my throat burns too bad. "Bo?" I turn to look at him and shake my head. "I don't... He burned the house down," I whisper. This wasn't something I didn't know, but finding out exactly how he did it makes that horrible feeling start to rumble inside me again.
Bo frowns at me and softly rubs my thigh. "Will, I walked into that shed and asked if you were playing with gas." Bo sighs then rubs his face. "Go shower. I'll get you some clothes. Just go. Out of your sister's sight for a while."
Will jumps to his feet and runs down the hall while Bo pulls me into his arms. Just having his arms around me makes me break. I couldn't go through this without him, and just for the night, I don't want to think about losing him.
"I don't know what we're going to do, Bo. Do we still get insurance money from it if we technically burned our own house down? I need that money to rebuild, or buy new somewhere. Or rent. And clothes... Oh my god, the kids have no clothes for school." I hug him tighter and let the tears fall. "Everything hurts." It more than hurts. It aches to a point of almost being numb. I can't do this on my own.
"I know," he softly says and rubs my back, not letting me go. My body's shaking and I'm trying to calm myself but it's no use. "I'm going to take care of you three. I promise you. When the marshal discovers what started the blaze..." He sighs. "There won't be any insurance money, Kinlee." I cringe at his words and another sob escapes me. He pulls me tighter against him, arms enveloping me and trying to keep me safe. "I'm going to make a call to the station so he knows we found out what happened. Maybe there's somethin' they can do," he mumbles, but doesn't mean it. My brother burned down the house. There's nothing they can do.
"I need to get the kids dinner," I whisper, not wanting to let go, but just because the house burned and everything is in shambles doesn't mean we don't have to eat. I still have to feed them. I still have to take care of them. I don't have time to lose my shit right now. "I need to call into the diner too. I can't work tonight." My mind starts listing off all the things I need to do and before I know it I'm gasping for air because I can't handle all of this. I was barely holding it all together before the fire.
"Call Jo and see if she has some clothes y'all can borrow until we go shopping."
I nod, pulling away and feeling so cold. My phone's only at ten percent battery life and I huff. It's amazing the things you take for granted. I don't even know where a damn charger is to charge this thing.
I hit dial to call Jo, though I'm skeptical anything of hers will fit me. Though maybe it'll fit Wendy, she's small enough.
"Hey," Brandt answers without a care in the world and I glance, making sure I dialed Jo and not Brandt.
"Uh, hi." I clear my scratchy throat. "Jo around?"
"Nah, I think she's out with the chicks. What's up?" He sounds like he's eating something and I chuckle with a shake of my head because it's better than getting annoyed by the sound.
"Shit," I huff. "I um... My house burned down today." The sentence ends on a squeak as I try not to cry, but my throat is too tight. That phrase will never be easy to say out loud.
"What?" The phone speaker vibrates.
"Will hit the house with a burning hatchet," I mumble, rubbing my face with my dirty hands. I need a shower.
"Holy hell, Kinlee. Is everyone okay? When... Why didn't you call?"
"We're all safe. We're at Bo's. I was just calling to see if Jo has any clothes we could use. Anything. At least until we can get new things. I hate asking, but it's late and they have school tomorrow and—"
"Stop, Kinlee. We'll bring stuff over as soon as I get her in here and can gather some things. Y'all need anything else?"
"No. Bo's got us taken care of. Thank you, Brandt."
"Shit," he sighs. "See you soon. Hang in there."
I end the call and stare at the red battery symbol on my phone, zoning out. When Bo walks in, I blurt, "Do you have a charger?"
Taking the phone, he plugs it in on the counter and takes my hand. "I had a talk with Will." He walks me to the stairs and as we get to the top, I look back, having not even realized we already climbed them. "He's in the room for the night. Wendy's in the shower and going to bum around in a t-shirt and pair of shorts until we can get her somethin'." In his room, he hugs me close. "You need to get in the shower and out of these clothes. I'll have them all washed for the mornin' and if you want to send them, the kids can go to school."
"Brandt and Jo are bringing over some of Jo's things for Wendy." Pulling away, I tug my shirt over my head, feeling more and more robotic as the minutes pass. "But yeah, Will needs something to wear." I push off my jeans and another chill runs through me. Looking at Bo, I frown. "I'm sorry for this. I'm sorry for fighting with you. I'm sorry you have to, once again, save us. And I'm sorry we're crashing here...probably ruining all kinds of peace
ful time."
He chuckles and grabs my face, shaking his head. "Darlin', you're my peaceful time." A kiss presses to my lips before he pulls off his shirt and holds me against his chest. "I want you here. All three of you. I wish it was under different circumstances though." He pulls my hair back and moves to look me in the eyes. "I don't want you three to leave. I want you here."
I blink a few times, not sure if he means what I'm thinking. "Always?" I whisper. "As in...you don't want us to leave tomorrow? Or you don't ever want us to leave?"
He reaches to my back and unhooks my bra before kissing my forehead. "I don't ever want you to leave. Ever. Me and you, Kinlee. And the twins." He chuckles. "I love you three." Looking me in the eyes again, he says, "I love you."
"I love you, Bo," I whisper but it grates over my throat and I start to cough, ducking my head into his chest. "God," I groan.
He sighs and drops his head to rest on top of mine. "Shit, Kinlee, when I saw you coming from that house..." His grip tightens. "I need you to want to stay for me too, you know? You keep saying I could die from anything, well same goes for you and what you did was stupid. If you didn't come back out, I woulda went in for you and we both more than likely would be dead right now." I feel his hands shaking as he holds one at the back of my head and the other softly rubs up and down my back.
"I needed those memories, Bo. I've already lost my parents, I can't lose their memories too." I look up at him and reach to my tiptoes, pushing my lips to his. "Trust me, I'll never do something that stupid again. I'm paying for it right now. Maybe shower steam will help."
With my hand in his, he walks me to the bathroom and turns the water on. "I'm going to intercept Brandt and Jo. You get in the shower." He dips down to kiss me and stares me in the eyes a minute. His gaze says enough and I love we don't always need words. "Go through my drawers when you're set." He taps the doorframe before forcing a smile and leaving me in the bathroom.