by Pamela Clare
“I have to think of something.” She paced the big kitchen. “Think.” She kicked the big stainless steel garbage can. Her denial had turned to anger. About time. She should’ve been this angry from the beginning, but fear had been her driving force.
Tanner had been angry so long he hardly knew any other emotion. Except lust maybe. The last day had him very much thinking about lust. And sex. Hard driving, sweat inducing, lusty sex. He turned his back to her, faced the open part of the spacious kitchen, because if he watched her much longer, he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands or certain other body parts to himself.
A definite silence stilled the air and Tanner looked over his shoulder. Jess watched him with narrow eyes and hands on her hips. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”
“I hadn’t thought about it.” Which was the truth. But he sure as hell could walk right out her door and leave everything behind him. He got what he wanted even if it wasn’t the way he wanted it. Juneau was dead and Tanner could move on.
Except leaving Jess didn’t seem like an option. Not one he wanted anyway.
“I told you I’d help you and I intend to.”
“Why?” Quick and to the point. The girl didn’t fuck around. “What’s in it for you?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know.” Maybe it was time he did something proactive instead of destructive. Hadn’t he been sabotaging himself the last eight years of his life? First by hanging out with Alex, then putting his future in Juneau’s hands by letting him hire his lawyer, and lastly by alienating his whole family by ignoring them while he sat in prison.
Maybe he just liked being around a woman. Maybe he liked watching the way she walked, the way her ass swayed. Or maybe it was her smell, or the whiskey color of her eyes. Hell, no maybes about it. Everything about her turned him on.
“Well you might want to figure it out, because I’m up shit’s creek without a paddle and I need somebody I can count on. If that’s not you, then get out.” Did she intend to cut him loose and start fresh by herself?
Tanner rose and stood in her path as she glared up at him. “Why the hell are you so mad at me? I didn’t free Juneau and I didn’t kill him.” A low blow. One he instantly regretted.
Her chin quivered and that’s all it took for the slime ball feeling to swamp Tanner’s chest. The pain in her eyes cut him soul deep.
“You son of a bitch,” she cried. She was hurting and he had no clue how to help. She hit him, slammed her palm against his chest and didn’t stop. Tears streamed down her face as she let loose with her small fists. Tanner let her pound him. He deserved it. She wanted a fight and he wanted to die. He hadn’t meant to hurt her physically or emotionally and he’d done both. He took every blow she delivered. A few of them packed more punch than he’d have given her credit for, but he didn’t stop her.
Finally, breathing hard, she wore herself out. The violence didn’t faze him, but when she sank against him, when she buried her face in his chest and cried… That knocked him out. Broke through every barrier he’d ever erected.
His arms went around her. He didn’t intend to do it, but there they stood in her parents’ kitchen, holding onto each other as if the world might end any second. Her crying slowed and eventually stopped. She pulled back and looked up at him.
Tanner’s mistake was looking into her eyes. Seeing all that pain and not caring how he might hurt her again. Jess’s mistake was looking at his lips, inviting something that would ignite and blow out of control with very little prompting. She gazed into his eyes again, offered a clear invitation when she rose on her toes, slanted her head to the side and spread her warm hands on his chest. Tanner met her halfway, brushed his lips against hers, tasted the salt of her tears and the desperation of the day.
Desperate.
That word described them both. She was desperate for help and he was desperate for relief. Desperate for the warmth of her skin and the comfort of her hot body.
His control broke.
Tanner pulled her close, trapped her lips beneath his and took what he wanted. She didn’t fight him. Goddammit, she should be fighting him. She should be scrambling to get away, because if she didn’t, she was going to be in way over her head. Instead she was clawing to get closer. He palmed her head, drove his tongue into her mouth and tasted the mints she chewed like an addiction. He ran his hands along the sides of her body, felt the hot little curves that had been driving him wild.
She moaned and the sound vibrated into his body, made him hotter. He lifted her against his erection, pushed the small of her back so she felt exactly what was coming her way if she didn’t fucking fight him.
But no, she moaned again and Tanner felt his insides snap. He couldn’t do this to her. Not after she’d saved his life. He would hurt her and she didn’t deserve that. Tanner released her and stepped back, breathing hard, fighting to maintain his distance.
Her lips were red, already swollen from his kiss. Her whiskey eyes glowed bright, not with tears, but with desire. “What? What’s wrong?” She was breathing hard too. The sheen in her gaze faded as she watched him. Her eyes narrowed and her anger inched its way back. Tanner would’ve seen it coming a mile away. She advanced on him and he steadily backed up until he hit the wall and could go no farther. “You’re going to kiss me like that then stop as if nothing happened,” she blasted. “Maybe I wasn’t done. Maybe I need more.”
Who the hell was this girl? How had she taken control from him? Didn’t matter. Time to take it back. This little slip of a girl was not in charge. Tanner stood taller and loomed over her. “You have no idea what you’re getting into with me, Jess. You’re damn lucky I stopped when I did.”
“Don’t tell me I’m lucky,” she railed back. “I’m the most unlucky person on the planet. Maybe for a few minutes I didn’t want to think about it. I thought you might be willing to help me out with that, but I guess I was wrong.”
“What did you think was going to happen? That I’d say shit you needed to hear, tell you lies like ‘everything’s going to be fine’? You think it’s going to be one thing and I can guarantee you it’s going to be the opposite.” He advanced on her and this time she had the common sense to move back. “It’s not going to be gentle. Or tender. Or romantic. Are you ready for the truth, Jess? If I touch you again, it’s going to be hard. It’s going to hurt. I won’t be able to stop and you won’t be able to stop me. You’ll cry, scream. You’ll fight to get away from me and I won’t let that stop me from taking you. Is that what you want?”
She punched his chest again. “Is this your tough guy act?” She mocked him, stood tall and close as if she matched him. Stupid girl. “Who said I wanted gentle? Or tender. Or romantic.” She threw his words back at him, with the same volume, same force. “Maybe I need something more than that. I need to forget how totally fucked up this whole—”
Tanner kissed her. He didn’t need or want to hear more.
Chapter Thirteen
Tanner soaked her in. From her hot mouth and voracious tongue to her tight little body and curvy ass. He couldn’t keep his hands off her. Couldn’t keep his tongue from exploring her mouth. He planned on tasting every inch of her. He backed her up against the kitchen wall, rubbing against her as if just the motion might ease his desire.
Not a chance in hell.
He should slow down. He had her, she’d all but demanded it of him, so he should back off and go slower, but he’d told her he wouldn’t be able to stop and he’d been right. He wanted to drive himself so deeply inside her that it wiped out the last seven years of his miserable life. He wanted salvation in her body. He wanted to feel alive.
He couldn’t wait to touch all of her skin. He wanted to feel her with his hands, his mouth, his tongue. He wanted to hear all the sounds that went with taking a woman. He wanted her moans, her gasps, wanted her screaming his name and digging her nails into his skin.
He wasted no time in stripping off her T-shirt. The bandage was a reminder of the night they met, but it was the si
ght of her full, pert breasts hidden under a white lace bra that stopped him for a second. He moved his palms up her sides, pulled the cups down and touched her, thumbed her tight nipples and groaned.
Tanner unhooked the back of her bra as he sucked one hard peak into his mouth. She gasped, arched into him and sent him further out of control. He wasn’t going to last. He needed her now, needed her hard and fast. But he had to touch her, had to explore all the places he’d been dreaming about.
Dropping to his knees, he made quick work of the button and zipper on her jeans. He stripped them over her hips, down to the floor. “Step out,” he ordered, his voice guttural, not his own. He shoved the discarded jeans and her shoes aside and held her hips. Her bikini underwear molded her body. She was so fucking tiny.
It wasn’t going to stop him.
He eased the white lace slowly down, giving himself Christmas in the middle of May, forcing himself to enjoy the anticipation instead of driving into her so hard that she’d never forgive him. That was bound to happen, but the longer he could hold off, the better they’d both be. The elastic band stretched in his thumbs, her breath hitched as he removed the thin barrier. Tanner glanced up at her, saw the sheen of desire in her eyes…and the innocence. The combination revved his pulse faster.
The lace fell to her ankles and she stepped out of those too.
Tanner breathed her in as his hands traveled up her thighs and over her hips, committing this moment to memory. Auburn curls glistened with moisture. He smelled her excitement. His cock hurt so bad and he stifled another groan as he leaned in and took her with his mouth.
Candy. She was the best candy he’d ever tasted. Sweet and tart at the same time. Her fingers tunneled through his hair and drove him on. No problem there. He liked this spot just fine. He hadn’t had a woman like this in so long he’d nearly forgotten the pleasure. But he burned for her and he wasn’t going to last, so he started slow, but soon worked her hard, used his tongue over her clit and pushed two fingers into her slick heat until he brought her to a fast climax, felt her clench and shatter as she called his name and trembled in his arms.
He needed her. Now.
Tanner stood and took her mouth, kissed her hard and long, drove his tongue deep inside her as his shaking hands fumbled with his zipper. And, goddammit, she helped him. Blindly, they both fumbled to get his jeans over his hips, to pull his erection free. Her hot little hands circled his cock and another harsh moan croaked in his throat. Tension cycled tighter in his gut as he lifted her, pinned her against the wall with the bulk of his body and guided himself to her wet entrance.
Tight. So tight. He’d made her as ready as he could, given her a hard orgasm and loosened her up, but she was still so tight, the feeling ramped up his need. He wedged the head of his penis inside her, shoving hard and retreating in increments. Mind numbing pleasure ate away his thoughts. Everything faded but the incredible tightness of her surrounding him. He buried his head in her neck as he continued to thrust, working his hips, driving inside her until he was deep. He would’ve stopped, just to soak her in, to feel the sensation of total penetration, but he couldn’t. He kept driving, barely aware of her heels digging into his ass, her arms wrapped around his neck.
Her muffled gasps drove him nuts, her fingernails dug into his shoulder blades. Harder and harder he pounded her, his heart slamming against his ribs, sweat coating his skin. Two more hard thrusts and he came, shooting his come into her welcoming body, continuing to drive up inside her as he gave every last drop of himself.
Oh, God, it wasn’t enough, he needed more. Still hard, he kept moving, kept her pinned until her cry penetrated his slogged brain cells. Tanner stilled long enough to look at her, to see the tears in her eyes. He’d hurt her. He told her he would. Contrition swept through him in a massive wave.
“The wainscoting,” she said.
“Huh?” His mind wasn’t working.
“The molding on the wall,” she said. “It’s right against my lower back.”
“Shit!” That was bound to leave a mark. Every hard thrust had slammed her against the molding and she hadn’t said a thing.
Tanner held her close and moved into the den, still deep inside her, still hard and hurting with his jeans hung low over his ass and the urge to drive into her harder and faster. Panting, he lay back against the giant leather couch, keeping her on top of him, holding her hips tightly to his.
Though there was something stirringly erotic about having a naked woman covering him when he was partially dressed, next time they did this he’d have to lose the jeans. Right now, he didn’t care. He wanted more.
“Ride me. Hard,” he grated. He palmed the back of her head again and took her lips in a fiery kiss.
Jess took his hard, erotic kiss and gave back as good as she got. She wanted him this way. Hard. Uncompromising. In some perverted way, she’d wanted the pain. It was penance for screwing everything up. For working for Maurice in the first place. For killing him and probably killing the chances of getting her family back. What she hadn’t expected was Tanner’s intensity. It overwhelmed her. Shook her. Granted, she’d been limited in her sack time with men, but she sure as hell wasn’t a virgin. Yet that was how Tanner made her feel. He kept her off balance, made her burn. No man had ever wanted her so badly that he couldn’t wait for a bed. Her need had never been so powerful that she hadn’t cared.
The power he radiated, the sheer force of his sexuality made her dizzy. His sculpted chest, dusted with dark hair, rippled under her fingertips. Veins bulged in his arms.
The sensations buffeting her body sent her flying. Tanner couldn’t seem to stop touching her. If his hands weren’t on her hips, they were on her breasts, or cupping her head or stroking her skin. He was everywhere. His tongue filled her mouth, licked inside her with wild desperation. She’d never felt so needed, as if her body alone held some type of redemption.
“Do it, Jess,” he rasped. “Ride me hard.”
A flush heated her cheeks. No man had ever talked to her this way either, or taken her so fiercely. His fingers bit into her hips as he adjusted her on top of him.
She hadn’t had sex in so long she doubted her ability to give him what he wanted. And she’d hardly ever been on top. Her old boyfriends had been happy to keep her underneath, happy to keep control. Not that she had any control now. Tanner thrust up and took her off her knees, holding her steady as he moved, driving her down on top of him. The friction was too good. The burn made her cry out.
Tanner’s jaw clenched tight, his eyes shone bright, watching her, owning her. “Jess.” He hissed her name, the same plea unspoken. Ride me hard.
Balancing her palms on his chest, Jess snapped her hips, riding Tanner in rhythm with his powerful thrusts. She felt him deep, deep inside her, driving her toward another orgasm, whipping her body into a whirlwind of sensation, making her feel more than she ever had before.
God, she was so close, so close to coming, when he pulled her down, crushed her chest against his and took her mouth.
“Harder,” he grated against her lips. “Grind down on me.” He palmed her tailbone, one hand stretched across both butt cheeks, pressing her against him. She gasped into his mouth as the motion put pressure on her clit and sensation exploded inside her.
“That’s it.” His voice was low, strained. “Like that.”
Jess ground herself on him. Electric streaks tore through her with every rub of her clit against him. His palm stayed on her ass, one finger pressing in the cleft between her cheeks, driving her harder. Sensory overload. Feeling him move inside her, along with the rasping of her already sensitive clit, Jess barely found air to breath. Sweat coated her skin as she slid over Tanner’s chest.
“Come on me, Jess,” he whispered in her ear. “I want to feel you rain that hot cream all over me.” He thrust up and pressed her down at the same time, sending her hurtling into the abyss. Time stopped. Everything stopped. Her heart thundered behind her ribs, in her head. Pleasure like she’d
never known exploded from the inside out, blew her brain cells into tiny fragments of nothing. She lost touch with everything but the waves cresting under her skin, raining through every part of her like the perfect storm. Unimaginable satisfaction spread within her, stealing her breath, her sanity. Her lips parted on a silent cry and Tanner’s face blurred in front of her.
Baring his teeth, Tanner’s grip tightened on her hips, his shout echoed in her ears. His second climax shot inside her with more intensity than the first. His invasion tore through her heightened senses and she clenched around him, milking him, taking everything he gave.
After every last ripple washed through her, Jess collapsed on Tanner’s damp chest. Gasping for breath, she closed her eyes, would’ve pulled away the wet strands of hair off her cheek, but she couldn’t move.
Breathing hard beneath her, Tanner still had his arms around her, kept them connected tightly together. Slowly, his hands roamed her slick skin. His rough fingertips sent tiny currents racing through her exhausted body, brought chills to the surface.
This touch felt different. More than sexual. As if he wanted to imprint her form into his head. As if he might never get the chance to hold her, or any woman, ever again. His palms roamed over her butt, up her back, along her sides, his touch firm, but tender.
The real world crashed in when he stopped stroking her. When he lifted her off him. His withdrawal from her body had them both taking a sharp breath. Emptiness swamped her, flooded her senses as he sat up, his legs over the couch, elbows on his knees, head in his hands.
With the silence came a wave of regret so massive Jess got nauseas.
What had she done? How could she have done it? What did she do now? Her eyes burned with the threat of tears. She couldn’t seem to stop making everything worse.
The phone rang and saved Jess from falling apart with an instant nervous breakdown. She grabbed the chenille blanket on the sofa and wrapped herself up before answering the phone on the corner table.