by Linda Ungar
“Susan and I married young and were very much in love. We then had a beautiful daughter, Pamela. Our lives were perfect. We were on holiday in Italy, just after Pam’s fourth birthday, when a drunk driver came out of nowhere and killed Susan instantly. Pam lingered for another day. I was behind the wheel, knocked unconscious. I never saw who did it. The car sped away before I ever knew what happened. They were killed while I was driving. I recovered from the accident, but not from their deaths. I can’t forgive myself for what happened. I was supposed to protect my family, instead I lost them! I’m an only child, so aside from my cousin in Australia, I have no family. Of course, there are friends, but that’s not the same. I threw myself into my work, travelling around the world. You can’t put down roots that way, which is exactly what I wanted. I couldn’t bear to risk such heartbreak again. I was too cowardly. Their faces haunted me. I even burned their photographs. There are no traces left of them in my life. I wasn’t willing to take another chance on love, until I met you.”
Nigel finished his story. He hung his head down, looking at the floor, and was silent. He appeared utterly defeated. “Finally telling this story makes me want to cry, but it’s not easy for a man to cry.” Karen, who had been sitting in a chair next to his, jumped up and gathered him in her arms. “It wasn’t your fault. You poor man. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Another person came out of nowhere and destroyed your life. How could you even begin to think you were in anyway responsible for anything so cruel? What could you have done to prevent that? Nothing!”
He was more subdued than usual for a couple of days afterwards, but soon his spirits lifted, and was again cheerfully making plans for the two of them. She was grateful for that. She wondered if Nigel could be suffering from post-traumatic stress as a result of the accident. She saw no signs of it, but also saw no reason not to proceed with caution.
On their next outing, Nigel hired a convertible sports car, perfect he said, for touring the countryside. Karen had seen pictures, of course, but nothing could compare to actually driving the narrow winding roads through storybook villages. The gently rolling scenery stretched out on either side of the road. She had never seen so many beautiful shades of green. Nigel declared that God had created the English countryside so that He would have somewhere to go on holiday. Karen was inclined to agree with him.
Karen saw no evidence of trauma from Nigel’s past. Being home again seemed to heal him. She loved the land almost as much as he did, but for her it still wasn’t home. As wonderful as her life had become, it was increasingly difficult to be away from her daughter. Each time she got off the phone with Lori she suffered pangs of homesickness. She could only imagine how much worse it will be when Lori and Nick have children. Since Lori had gotten married she looked forward to becoming a grandmother. She never questioned them about when they were going to start a family, but everyone knew how much she loved holding a baby in her arms. Lori even asked if Karen would pay any attention to her, once a baby arrived. Of course she wasn’t serious, knowing how much she was loved by her mother.
Karen hovered between two worlds. Should she remain in hers or be taken into Nigel’s? She couldn’t live in both.
Torn between her growing love for Nigel and her longing to be at home with her daughter, was becoming increasingly difficult. Nigel wanted them to live in England and travel to Allentown for visits. Knowing his background, she didn’t want to cause him any more grief. To tear him away from his roots just as he was finding happiness again was unthinkable. But she had roots too, and wasn’t sure she could live on foreign soil.
While she was in this state of mind, it appeared that fate had already decided for her. She hardly recognized Nigel’s barely audible voice, when he called her early one morning. She was dreaming that the phone was ringing, it grew so loud it woke her up. It was her phone that was ringing.
“I have to see you.”
“What?” She tried to focus.
“I have to see you now.” His voice grew louder.
“I was sleeping, you woke me up.”
“I’m coming right over, get out of bed.”
He had rented a small flat near her hotel. She had found it charmingly old fashioned that he would not live together until they were married.
He was at her door within twenty minutes. In the time it took him to arrive, she had frantically run through every possible disastrous scenario she could imagine. Had his old fears returned, making him unwilling to have a relationship? Was he suffering mood swings as a result of the horrific accident? Was he diagnosed with a terrible, possibly fatal disease? Or, perhaps, he realized he just didn’t love her, and his conscience couldn’t be clear until he told her face to face, that it was over. She prepared herself for every dream to be destroyed when he arrived. But there was no way she could have prepared herself for what occurred.
Nigel entered the suite, walked past her and placed a large package on a desk in the sitting room. He looked like he hadn’t slept. Without any introduction he immediately blurted out his tale. “I got word yesterday afternoon that the shipment from Australia had arrived. By the time I could get to pick it up, it was the end of the day. I had that business dinner I told you about last night. I wanted to go over some paperwork beforehand and so took the box from the shipping office back to my flat. It wasn’t overly large or heavy, and frankly I really wasn’t very curious about what was in it. I got back late from dinner and then decided I might as well open the box. It contained a few silver serving pieces, candlesticks, a small oil painting and this package.” Opening the package as he was speaking, he went through many layers of tissue paper before he removed an ancient looking tapestry. He stopped talking, removed the tapestry and held it up for her to see.
Karen gasped at the sight. The tapestry was badly worn, but it was easy to see what it depicted. There against a highly stylized floral background was a couple in medieval clothing. The man looked like Nigel, the woman looked like her! Karen felt as if she had received a heavy blow to her heart, she was short of breath and couldn’t speak. She looked to Nigel, then back at the tapestry. He said nothing.
“Yes” was all she finally said.
Karen’s days were spent in happy preparation for her marriage. She decided not to tell Lori since they planned to be married privately, and to make a trip to Allentown shortly after the honeymoon. It would not be very long now. She was imagining how exciting it was going to be, arriving at the airport with her handsome new husband. When she was home again, they would celebrate with Lori and Nick. She couldn’t wait to share her news and tell the amazing story of their courtship. Nigel loved telling her that he had been right about them all along. “Our lives are woven together. That should be our family motto.”
One evening, only a few weeks before their wedding, Nigel broached the subject of a will.
“Listen,” he said, “You aren’t automatically entitled to inherit from me if I die. In the UK, you have to draw up a will if you want your spouse to inherit your money. So what I want to do, is take you to my solicitor and have him put you in my will. I want you to get everything in case anything should happen to me.”
Karen hated the idea of even discussing the possibility that she could lose him. “Let’s be practical, I’m in good health and I don’t think anything will happen for a very long time. But just in case it did, I need to know you’ll be well taken care of, by me.”
“Nigel, you know I’m a wealthy woman. I’m very touched that you want to do this, but I’ve actually been frustrated that you’ve never let me do much for you. I really don’t need anything from you.”
“That may be the case, but I need something from you. After what happened to Susan and Pam, I have to feel I’m protecting you. You don’t know what it’s like for a man not to be able to care for his family. It’s devastating. I have to know that no matter what, even after death, I’m providing for you. You could give it all away, if you want, but I need you to have this. Please Kar
en, give me this and I won’t ask another thing of you.”
Karen agreed, on one condition. “Then I have to leave everything to you. Except for some charities that are important to me, and the jewelry and a few personal items that I want Lori to have, everything else is for you.”
“Absolutely not! That’s not what I want or need. Don’t you want Lori to have everything? She’s going to have a family someday. It costs a lot of money to raise children.”
“Andy left her so much, she and Nick couldn’t spend it in a lifetime. Besides, both of them have very successful careers. I told you that she was a lawyer, and Nick was a real estate developer. What I didn’t tell you is that they make so much, and have inherited so much, that they give large amounts away every year. So they certainly don’t need a thing.”
Nigel reluctantly agreed and made an appointment with his solicitor.
A pleasant middle-aged receptionist ushered them into Simon Blair’s handsomely furnished office. Simon was well passed middle age. He was a portly, balding man with a kindly face, and an excellent reputation. Karen felt they were in good hands. “Come in, come in.” Simon welcomed them and urged them to sit down. The receptionist followed and offered tea.
“I understand that congratulations are in order. I wish you both a long and happy marriage.”
Nigel told Simon what he wanted. Then Simon turned to Karen, as she told him what she wanted, Nigel again objected. “Simon, it’s not what I want. Can’t you talk her out of it?”
Karen would not be dissuaded. The solicitor laughed, “I’ve seen couples argue before, but never over anything like this. It’s a first. If that’s all you ever disagree about, I predict that you will have a long, happy marriage I know you are anxious to have this wrapped up as soon as possible. We’ll get to it straight away. Again, my best wishes to you both.”
After they left the office, Nigel turned to Karen. “I haven’t been completely honest with you.”
“In what way?”
“There is one thing more I want you to do. Don’t look so suspicious, hear me out. I’ve made reservations for you at The Grove. It’s a beautiful spa resort not too far from London. You should have some days of complete pampering before our wedding. The next few days will be filled with all sorts of odds and ends that need my attention. I’ll feel much happier if I know you’re safely tucked away in such a wonderful place.”
Karen shook her head in disbelief. “I don’t deserve you.”
Karen rose early. While dew still covered the grass, she went outside to breath the fresh scent of morning. The other guests were still asleep. Karen walked the expansive grounds of the hotel, alone in her paradise.
At breakfast she was looking at the schedule for the day’s activities, trying to decide what class she wanted to attend after her hot stone massage. A woman at the adjoining table was lecturing her friend on the benefits of yoga.
“Excuse me,” Karen interjected herself into the conversation. “I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation about yoga. I was thinking of trying it.”
The woman, happy to give her opinion to yet another person, went on at length about all its benefits.
“Well, thank you. I’m convinced.”
The woman smiled broadly, pleased to have made a new convert. At the end of the class, Karen felt calm, yet energized. She was glad she had tried it. She approached the instructor, introduced herself, and let her know how much she enjoyed the class. “I’m getting married soon, and moving to Shincliffe. Do you happen to know any place there I could take classes? Or anybody that you could personally recommend who teaches yoga?”
“Thank you, it’s always nice to hear from my students about liking the practice of yoga. I don’t know anything about Shincliffe. I only know of some places in Durham, which is close by, but you’re in luck. Emily Wadhams, who manages the spa, is from Shincliffe, I’ll take you to her.
She took her to a small office right off the spa reception area and introduced her.
“Emily, this is… ” Karen, realizing the instructor had forgotten her name, came to her rescue.
“Karen Miller,” she said extending her hand. The instructor gave her a grateful look.
Emily and Karen spoke for a while. Then Karen asked if she knew Nigel.
“Nigel Craxford, that name doesn’t sound familiar. It’s a small place, I know most of the people, but I moved here almost two years ago, so he could have come after I left.”
She gave Karen the name of a studio that she liked, and wished her good luck in her new life. At the end of the day, Emily realized she could call her sister Penny, who still lived in Shincliffe. Penny was an estate agent and would know, not only if there were any new yoga studios, but could also look up the real estate records for any property purchased by a Nigel Craxford. She thought Karen would like that.
When she reached Penny, her sister mentioned the same yoga studio that Emily had already told Karen about, but she wasn’t able to find any record of any home purchases made by Nigel Craxford, at least not in the past seven years. Emily looked for Karen to tell her, but was too late, she was already gone.
Nigel spent the time away from Karen taking care of what he needed to do with before going on the honeymoon.
On the last day before Karen was due back, Nigel wrapped up his final piece of business. It was almost one o’clock, and Nigel was ravenous. He went to his favorite restaurant, the same place he had met Karen. It was expensive, but the food was excellent. It was very popular with the ladies who lunch…..alone.
One of the things he told Karen he wanted to do was to get the tapestry restored.
“It’s going to hang in a special place in our home, and right now it’s in no condition for that. Besides, I don’t want it to deteriorate.”
“Do you think it’s valuable?” she asked.
“Priceless.” he replied.
After lunch Nigel took a cab to Winkley Street. It was a mix of commercial buildings and renovated lofts. Some of them had been made into very attractive apartments. He stopped in front of Beasley’s Antiques.
The sign outside read ‘Antiques, Repairs, and Restorations. Fine Weaving Done on Premises’. Mr. Beasley was sitting behind the counter of his dark cluttered shop, and saw Nigel as he entered.
“Hello sir, good to see you again. How are you?”
Nigel didn’t answer, He dropped a package on the counter and pushed a photograph towards Mr. Beasley.
It was of a woman, neither young, nor old, nor especially pretty. Her trusting brown eyes were her best feature.
“Same thing as usual?” Beasley questioned.
“Yes.”
“Mr. Beasley opened the package and examined the contents. The tapestry is getting pretty worn. I’ll have to make a few extra repairs this time.”
“No problem.”
Lori sat the dinner table toying with her food. She had no appetite. Besides the nausea that had been plaguing her recently, she felt anxious.
“I’m just not comfortable with Mom’s being away so long. Nick, you know it’s not like her. I don’t have a good feeling about what’s going on over there. As soon as I get this stomach problem resolved, I’m going over there,” she announced.
“You said yourself she sounds happy. Don’t you think you’re overreacting?”
Those words did not sit well with Lori, she shot him a sharp look. She hated when he accused her of that.
“You never think anything could be wrong. I think sometimes you can be naïve.”
“I’ll admit to that. But your mother is a grown woman, and a smart one at that. Give her some credit. She wasn’t born yesterday.”
“Yeah, but she doesn’t have a lot of experience with men. Daddy was her first boyfriend. I don’t want her going all overboard on some gigolo just because he’s paying attention to her.”
“Oh, she doesn’t have the experience you have, international woman of the world. I mustn’t forget that y
ou dated that Danish foreign exchange student back in high school.”
Lori swiped him with her napkin and laughed. She found it impossible to stay mad at him.
Lori rushed to meet Nick at the front door as soon as she heard him coming home. She didn’t even greet him, but started right in. “It looks like this stomach thing isn’t going to go away anytime soon.”
“What’s wrong?” He looked worried.
“Well, the doctor said… ” another wave of nausea hit Lori before she could finish. Nick followed her anxiously to the bathroom. When she finally stopped retching, she continued. “I’M PREGNANT! WE’RE HAVING A BABY!” She grabbed Nick’s hands and started to jump up and down. “The only downside is I don’t know when I’ll be able to go to London. The doctor said some people can have severe nausea for a while. It usually resolves in a few weeks, but it could take even longer. She wants to keep an eye on things to make sure I don’t get dehydrated. Dr. Gerber said it’s nothing to worry about, as long as I’m monitored. There are medications, but she’s conservative and prefers I don’t take anything unless it’s absolutely necessary. She’s very optimistic and said everything looks normal. I’m not going to tell Mom anything now. I’ll wait until I go over there and give her the news in person. It’ll have to keep til then.”
Nigel had suggested they honeymoon at his cottage in Cornwall, in the village of Mousehole.
“Mousehole,” she questioned incredulously, “who would name a place Mousehole?”
“Englishmen.”
“And who would honeymoon in a place called Mousehole?”
“Dylan Thomas.”
“What am I getting into?” she laughed. “Well, I had to be persuaded to come to London, and look how that turned out. So I guess I should give Mousehole a chance.” She continued laughing.
Once it was decided, Nigel became very excited. He was absent from London again, for days at a time. “I have a lot to do before we go.” He would not share any details. He suggested that they take the scenic route. “It’s almost a six-hour drive. If we go the scenic way, it will be a lot longer, but I think it’s worth it. There are some lovely old towns along the way. If we get impatient we can always hop back on the motorway. The only disadvantage is that we’ll reach Mousehole at night. You’ll have to wait for morning to really see it.”