She wanted to shout at him, crawl at him with her nails and kick free, but she remained still, not willing to embarrass herself in front of her… mother.
But why she thought she could, she wondered, for the woman still had yet to look at her again.
“Speak,” Chris said, and though he spoke gently, it was with authority.
The maid flinched and remained silent for long seconds before shaking her head. “I had to give her away.”
“Speak to her,” Justin said.
The woman seemed restless, obviously wanting to be there just as little as Alex did. She steadied herself on the counter and finally brought her face up to meet Alex’s, her expression hard. “I had to give you away. I had no choice.”
No choice.
“What do you mean? Did your employers threaten your position? Was money worth more—”
“That’s not what I mean.” The woman’s eyes softened, widened a little, and Alex saw they were a light shade of blue. She also noticed that the woman was pretty when she wasn’t glaring. She had delicate features. “I mean, he’d have hurt you if I didn’t.”
Alex stilled, but her heart was racing. A new tingling set over her skin. “You mean Lord Wint?”
“No.” The woman shook her head and lifted her hands. “I won’t say his name, but he knew whose child you were.”
“Who was it?” Chris hissed in a way that said he’d asked this question before.
The woman looked at him with wild eyes. “I’ll never tell you. Never. You can threaten me all you like, but I won’t utter his lordship’s name.”
“So, it was a lord?” Nash asked.
The maid looked away. “I have to go.” She started for the door.
Reuben blocked the door.
“Who was it?” Chris asked the woman again.
“No! It’s dangerous to even breathe it! You put her life in danger by knowing.” She pointed to Alex. “Now you leave me alone for her own good. Do you understand?” She was staring at Chris.
Alex was struggling to breathe as she listened to this debate. “Why?” she asked. “Why did he say you had to get rid of me?”
The woman looked at her and pain slashed through her eyes. “Because, had I come forward, your father would have taken us in and his lordship wouldn’t allow it.”
She seemed so sure of her words, knowing that Lord Wint would not turn his back on a child he’d created with a maid. “Did you know Lord Wint well?”
The woman swallowed and nodded. “I knew him.” She looked away. “His wife couldn’t… He’d have wanted you.” The woman hung her head then looked at Chris. “Now that I’ve shamed myself, can I leave?”
Alex reeled away at the knowledge that her mother was ashamed of her.
As she should be, since Alex was the product of infidelity.
“No,” Chris said. “Your daughter is in danger. You have to tell us who is after her.”
“He is only after her so long as you look for me!” the maid shouted back. “Don’t you understand? Stop looking for me and her troubles will go away.” Then she glared at Reuben. “Move or you put her in danger.”
“You keep her in danger by not saying his name,” Reuben told her.
The maid shook her head and said, “I’ll make sure he leaves her alone.”
“How?” Chris asked.
“I’m leaving London for good,” the woman said. Then she turned to look at Alex and said, “Besides, she’ll be untouchable once she’s a countess.”
Alex didn’t know why the thought of a woman she’d never known, who was ashamed of her and probably never wanted her, disappearing forever after only meeting her once was so unsettling.
“You’re not going to say the man’s name who threatened you, are you?” Nash asked finally.
The maid shook her head. “I’ll not risk her life.” She wouldn’t meet Alex’s eyes, and Alex realized that she’d not once said her name. Neither had she given Alex hers.
There were so many things she wanted to ask this woman, but her pride wouldn’t let her ask a single one. “Let her go,” Alex whispered.
The maid flinched but righted herself quickly.
Reuben moved from the door and the woman all but ran for it.
She wrenched the door open, and Alex held her breath as she watched her step through it.
But the maid paused and gripped the doorframe before looking back over her shoulder at Alex, then Justin, before meeting Alex’s eyes once more. “I always thought that woman mad for calling you a lady all the time while knowing what you really were, but maybe she always knew what you’d become.”
Alex frowned as her mind conjured up the only woman who’d ever called her a lady. “You mean Mary Elizabeth?”
The maid nodded. “That’s the one. I… also checked on you after the woman died. I wanted to see who’d taken over to see if you were well cared for.” She seemed to struggle with her next words. “I like what she’d do with your hair on Sundays.” She used her finger to demonstrate the braid that wrapped Alex’s crown before dropping her hand.
Alex choked on a sob and tightened her fingers around the arms that held her. Why had the woman looked in on her if she’d not cared? If she’d been ashamed of Alex? “You were there?”
The maid’s expression became hard again. “I’m only saying this because I don’t want you feeling poor with your wedding coming.” She looked away. “I never gave you anything. I wouldn’t want to think I didn’t… I wouldn’t give you troubles.”
She didn’t know what else to say, but as the woman closed the door and slipped into the night, Alex crumbled in Justin’s hold and wept for a life she’d never had.
* * *
29
CHAPTER
TWENTY-NINE
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Justin watched as Alex came down the stairs, holding the bannister with one long gloved hand and her skirts with the other. Her smile was wide and knowing.
She took his breath away.
The gown she’d selected for the ball caught the eye but could not compare to her natural beauty. It was another ivory piece but was threaded with gold and stitched with white pearls. Lace trimmed the bodice and hems while also creating sleeves that hung off her bare shoulders. Her gloves were white, as were her jeweled slippers, and by the time she reached him, Justin still hadn’t figured out what to say to her. There weren’t enough words in the English language to give detail to her beauty. Her black hair made her skin that much clearer and translucent, and the lashes that framed her eyes made her irises look like diamonds. He’d be the most coveted man at the ball.
The event was being hosted by the Duke of Crandrey, a commander and war hero who’d led regiments in the defeat of Napoleon’s forces in the Iberian Peninsula. It was the perfect place for Alex to be introduced, because every member of Society who was worth notice would be there.
Justin held out his hand for her, and she took it.
“You look very handsome,” she said.
He kissed her glove. “I was trying to figure out just how to say the same about you. You look like a queen.”
She wrinkled her nose. “I believe I’ll settle for a future countess.”
He smiled down at her. She’d not teased him in days. Not since her mother had walked out of the house and left London, leaving her daughter in an emotional shambles and Justin without a clue how to make her better. He’d tried to compare his own mother to hers to see if he had any advice he could give as to how to survive such disappointments.
His mind had come up with nothing because he’d not known he’d been simply surviving in life until he’d met Alexandra. She’d given him something he’d not known had been lacking in his life, a feminine touch.
He’d not wanted to go into detail about his relationship with Mrs. Shaw, but the woman had never once caressed Justin. Always they kept their hands and mouths to themselves.
Those were his rules from the beginning and she’d kept them, instead finding pleasure with other parts of each other. There had been times when they’d kept their clothes on during their activities, but never had anyone dared to touch him as though they cared.
So that was what Justin had done with Alex, held her hand, kissed her gently, and locked her against him whenever he felt she’d needed a hug. He’d still not shared his feelings with her as of yet, because he’d not wanted her to think he was simply trying to duplicate what her mother had not given her, but what he had given her seemed to have worked.
“The carriage is waiting,” Selina called cheerfully from behind him. His sisters were both ready, and he began to turn toward them when he heard an audible gasp come from Alex. He turned back around and was surprised to see Reuben coming down the stairs, and even more stunned by what he wore.
He was dressed in the red coat of the British army. Justin could see by the gold buttons, cuffs, and cords that Reuben had not just been any foot soldier but a man of high rank. As he drew closer, Justin noticed he was decorated with a crown and Garter Star.
“I’d forgotten that I’d been told you were a colonel,” Justin said.
Alex pulled in a breath and frowned at her brother. “You’re a colonel? You didn’t say anything.”
Reuben shrugged and gave no further reply as he placed his shako onto his head. The black hat sat eight inches high and was decorated with more gold cords and laces.
Reuben had been no foot soldier indeed.
“How did you get the Garter Star?” Justin asked. The Order of the Garter Star had been founded in 1348 and was known for its exclusive membership and the favor of the king. “You’d have to be a knight or higher to get that star.”
Reuben said nothing.
Alex looked between the men then stared at her brother. Her brow furrowed further. “Reuben, have you been knighted?”
“Reuben, were you knighted?” Lucy Ann asked stepping closer. A new appreciative look filled her eyes as she looked Reuben over. “When did this occur? Why was I not invited? What are you? Who are you? Don’t keep secrets from me. How dare you!” Her outrage was genuine.
A muscle in Reuben’s jaw twitched. “Are we to go to the ball or not?”
Alex’s eyes widened, but her mouth closed before she turned away with a huff.
“I didn’t know you were coming,” Justin told him. “Had I known, I’d have told the duke, but with you being a colonel and wearing the star, no one will deny you entrance.”
Reuben smirked. “That’s very generous of you, my lord, but I’ve my own invitation.”
That got another gasp from Alex and an appreciative sound from Lucy Ann.
Justin glared at his sister, but then turned back to Colonel Reuben Smith. The mystery surrounding the man grew.
“Let’s go or we’ll be late,” Selina said, her young mind obviously unimpressed by a soldier of any rank.
Thank God.
Justin extended his arms toward Alex and Lucy Ann, but his sister had her own plans.
“Colonel Smith, would you please be my escort?” Lucy Ann asked.
Reuben chuckled but extended his elbow to her nonetheless. “It would be an honor, Lady Lucy Ann.”
Justin met Reuben’s eyes and hoped he succeeded in making a gesture of thanks. He realized he’d succeed when Reuben inclined his head before heading to the door.
And much like Alex, Lucy Ann drilled Reuben with one question right after the other. Like he’d done with his sister, he gave her very little in the form of reply or answer.
But Justin was glad the man had come along. He would need another set of eyes while escorting his sisters. He planned to find Gerard when he got to the party and ask his assistance as well, because Justin’s main focus for the evening was Alex.
She was quiet in the carriage, though she seemed to be paying attention to Lucy Ann and Reuben’s conversation. Still, he could tell she was nervous. She moved restlessly beside him, and more than once he witnessed her shoulders slump before she snapped back as though recalling instruction from somewhere.
When the traffic came to a stop because of all the carriages that lined the road to Crandrey’s mansion, Justin leaned over and whispered in her ear.
“You’ve nothing to fear, you know. Even if they treated you poorly before, they’d never do so now that you’re to be a future countess.” He grabbed her hand and watched her dark head bob in an absentminded nod before her gray eyes found his in the shadows.
What came out of her mouth next only confirmed what he already knew about her. She was the sweetest woman in the world and he loved her.
“I know, I simply wish Lady Emma could have come.” She tightened her fingers around his and looked down. “I just can’t help but think about her sitting at home while the rest of the ton attend the ball.”
She was not worried for herself but for a woman she hardly knew, a woman who had gifted her with friendship nonetheless.
“When you’re a countess you can hold a ball and invite whomever you wish,” he told her.
Alex’s eyes widened. “I never thought of that.” Then she smiled. “I didn’t think you’d enjoy the idea of opening your house for an elaborate event.”
He didn’t enjoy the idea. In fact, he admitted a measure of apprehension where Crandrey’s ball was concerned, but if it would please Alex, he’d do it. “I’ll manage.”
She squeezed his hand, a brilliant smile spreading across her lips and adding lines at the corners of her eyes. “I was a little bothered at the thought of tonight, not about how I would be treated but about the dancing.”
“You and Lady Emma worked very hard at it, and you moved flawlessly when I last saw you.” Lady Emma, Alex, and a pair of footmen had practiced the more important dances endlessly in the afternoon, and Alex had proved to be a quick learner.
“I know.” She bit her lip as the carriage moved another yard before coming to a stop. She leaned closer before lowering her voice. “I wasn’t worried that I’d make a mistake. I’m more than sure I will, but it’s not me I’m worried about. It’s you.”
Justin groaned in understanding. “I admit I’ve not danced in many years, but I think I can get through two or three before easily slipping from the ballroom...”
Alex shook her head and once again blew him away with her words. “That’s not it either. I don’t want you dancing.”
He stilled in his seat and asked, “What?”
Heat flickered in her gaze, and though he found himself attracted to the look, he knew it had little to do with desire. It was anger that darkened her irises. “I don’t want you near other women. I don’t like the idea of it.” She pulled his hand closer. “I don’t want them touching you at all. That’s what is bothering me.”
Justin’s heart raced at the possessiveness of her words. “It’s customary for couples to exchange partners at these events.”
“I know, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.” She narrowed her eyes. “I’ll probably never like it, I confess.” She shook her head as she looked him over and then their gazes locked again. “No, I don’t like it.”
He’d have kissed her were Reuben not sitting just across from them. A burning started low in his chest and he wanted to call off the night and simply spend it alone with Alexandra. “I don’t think I like the idea of other men dancing with you either.”
Alex’s expression softened. “I’ll only be thinking of you with my every step.”
“And I you.” He lifted his free hand to touch the curl by her cheek and thought there wasn’t a day that went by when she wasn’t all he thought about. Her comments on the dancing made him realize just how silly some of the social customs were. Had Justin had his way, Alex would dance with no one but him and they would dance the entire night, one dance right after another.
The carriage stopped once again, but this time the footman opened the door.
Reuben and his sister stepped out first, and Justin’s mouth was a
gainst Alex’s in the next second. Time forced the kiss to be brief, but just the taste of her was enough to cause his breathing to become hard.
“If only I had fifteen minutes,” he whispered, recalling that night in Christmas’ garden. That first kiss seemed so long ago now.
She laughed. “And could you believe I asked for an hour?” She recalled the night as well.
What Justin could do to her if he had an hour…
“My lord?” Reuben called.
“Time to go,” Alex said in a breath.
Justin helped her to the street and then they were in a crush of bodies as they tried to get into the Season’s most important night.
* * *
30
CHAPTER
THIRTY
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Alex was memorized by His Grace’s home moments upon entering the foyer. While the man was a war hero, there was no mistaking that he was a wealthy man. She watched as women and men moved up and down the twin curved staircases that had been crafted out of white marble that matched the ground floor. The chandeliers that flowed above seemed to be made of pure crystal and dripped. White candles made the stones glitter, and the silver theme seemed to float throughout the rest of the room. But what should have looked ghastly and cold managed to make Alex feel very relaxed and warm.
Or perhaps that warm feeling simply came from the presence of so many people at her every side. They took a few more steps and the world seemed to open. She had only to recall just whose arm she was on to understand why.
The Legend of the Earl Page 20