by Shandi Boyes
“Hi Baby, I have missed you so much” she whispers softly in my ear as she leaps into my arms, engulfing me with her vanilla scent.
“Hey beautiful” I greet back, lowering my lips down to kiss her.
“Are you ready?” I question, as she nods her head quickly while smiling.
Today is supposed to be our bands last performance at Maverick’s Bar. Our contract with Destiny Records had stated that we could keep performing at Mav’s until we start recording in the studio and that process had begun this week. It is also our one-year anniversary, but Emily was adamant that she didn’t want to spend our Friday night any other way than at Mavericks like she had done for the past year.
Our drive to Ravenshoe is filled with Emily telling me all about her week at school. She had joined a few study groups and seemed to be finally settling into her life at college. I was glad she was enjoying the experience of going to college. I myself had never gone, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to, I just couldn’t afford to and wouldn’t have been able to get good enough grades for a scholarship. Emily is definitely the brains in our relationship, but never once did she make me feel like I wasn’t good enough for her, it was only me that had those moments of doubt.
Once I pull into Mav’s bar, I walk around my truck to help Emily down. She has on her regular skinny jeans with black boots, but instead of one of her vintage rock shirts she has on a black long sleeve fitted top with a small red crop jacket. She looks beautiful in anything that she wears, but I have noticed that she always dresses to match in with the band whenever she comes and watches us perform. We walk hand in hand through the large wooden door at the entrance of the bar.
“Surprise!!!” everyone yells in unison, startling Emily.
Her eyes peer over everyone in the room and at the decorations the guys and I had put out and up earlier today, before she smiles her breathtakingly beautiful smile. Jenni and Nicole both come running towards Emily, releasing the helium balloons they had been holding into the air, before engulfing her into a tight hug. The band and I had decided that celebrating Emily’s birthday this weekend was more important than one last hurrah at Maverick’s. Ollie was a little apprehensive to start with but we promised him that anytime we were back in town we would still come and drink our beers at Maverick’s and would even play the occasional song free of charge. This place is always going to be our local watering hole, no matter how famous we become. I walk up and wrap my arms around Emily’s tiny waist, leaning my chin on the top of her shoulder.
“Happy birthday beautiful” I whisper into her ear, causing goose bumps to form on her neck.
“Thank you Noah” she replies happily back.
“But it’s not my birthday until tomorrow” she replies cheekily while spinning to look me directly in the eyes, her brown eyes sparkling with such happiness.
“I had to do it tonight as on your birthday you do nothing but spend the whole day in your birthday suit” I inform her while cocking my eyebrow into my hairline.
“Ha, I thought I was supposed to be the one getting presents on my birthday, not you” she laughs while poking her finger into my chest.
“Don’t you worry, I will definitely be giving you a present” I reply while waggling my eyebrows at her, causing her to laugh loudly as she slaps my chest playfully.
Her eyes then slowly fill with lust as she bites down on her lip. That was all it took for my dick to instantly start stiffening in my jeans. I quickly lower my mouth down to give her a long, hot scorching kiss, forgetting that we are in a room with all her closest family and friends.
“Would it be rude if we left now?” Emily whispers against my lips, making me smile against hers.
“Probably, but do you think I care?” I reply while smiling.
“Get a room!” Jacob laughs as he grabs Emily by her waist and starts spinning her around the room while yelling out ‘Happy Birthday Emily’ at the top of his lungs.
I know Jacob is always using Emily to stir me and I try not to let it affect me, but I just can’t help to react to his stirrings. Jacob loves Emily, but it is more like a love a brother has for his sister, not the type of love I have for her, and I have to keep reminding myself of that right now otherwise I would go storming over towards him to pull Emily out of his embrace.
We end up leaving the party around an hour later, as I wasn’t joking when I say Emily is a light weight. By the time she was on her second glass of wine she was already slurring her words and was even more affectionate to me than normal. By the third glass she was stumbling and telling everyone around her that she is “Soooo drunk”. I had no choice but for us to leave as Ollie kept glaring his eyes at me, since Emily is still not the legal age to drink.
I buckled her safely into my truck, giving her my leather jacket to keep warm as we made our way to the hotel I had booked for the night. When I was half way to the hotel I could hear the faint sound of snoring inside the cab of my truck. I turned down the radio and that is when I noticed that Emily had tucked herself up in a little ball and was sleeping peacefully, leaning her head against the passenger window.
When we arrived at the hotel, I carried Emily into our room. As she cuddled in close to my chest she inhaled a large deep breath while she whispered “Noah” in her sleep. Fuck I love the way she says my name. Once I enter the hotel room, I notice that housekeeping had lit all the candles as I had requested and the two vases of white lilies are placed on each bedside table. I walk Emily over to the king size bed and gently lay her down, before removing her boots and lifting the comforter up to cover her, as she quietly continues to snore.
The next morning, she woke in a bit of a fright not remembering how she had gotten to the hotel. Her eyes look panicked until she peered around the room and noticed the now unlit candles and the flowers I had organised for her, causing her to smile largely.
“Happy Birthday” I whisper as she leaps over towards me and kisses me hard on the lips.
She tasted like heaven with a little hint of the wine she had consumed last night.
We ended up spending the rest of the day exactly as I had planned, Emily in her birthday suit all day. It was only the next morning when we are both getting ready to check out that Emily walks into the steam filled bathroom, watching me curiously as I shaved. Her diamond stud earrings I had given her for her birthday sparkling brightly in her ears.
“What?” I end up asking as she stood there, staring at me with a small smile on her face.
Her sexual appetite had been insatiable all day yesterday that I was surprised she had any gasoline left in her tank.
“Can I shave you?” she asks as she licks her lips.
I hold out of the razor for her as she skips into the bathroom, her small smile forming into a large grin. I lift her up by her tiny waist and sit her on the edge of the vanity directly in front of me, before she slowly lifts the razor to my face.
“Do you trust me?” she breathes outs seductively, repeating the words I had said to her just over a year ago.
“With all my fucking heart” I reply, as she slowly slides the razor down my face.
Chapter 17
“Are you ready?” questions Dr Miller, peering into my room at the rehabilitation centre.
“As ready as I will ever be” I reply, as I collect the photo of Emily off my bedside table to gently place it on top of the clothes folded in my suitcase.
Dr Miller walks over and lifts up the photo of Emily I had just placed down, a small smile forms on her face.
“She is really beautiful Noah” she whispers kindly, before placing the photo back in my suitcase.
When she moves her hand I notice that her ring finger is missing her engagement and wedding ring.
“Is everything ok Rachel?” I question.
I don’t very often call her by her first name as it seems to informal, but her tone and mannerisms seems out of whack than they have before. Her green eyes turn up to face mine and I notice that her eyes seem sadder then they have been
before.
“Yes I’m fine” she sighs, before she attempts to spin her engagement ring around her finger, making her realize that she isn’t wearing them. Her gaze stays firm on her empty finger before she sits down gently on my bed.
“I thought it was time to take them off” she confides softly; her eyes start to fill with tears.
I continue to watch her curiously, unsure of what she had meant by that statement.
“My husband was a wonderful man Noah. He was the love of my life, as Emily is for yours” she continues, as her gaze turns towards mine and two small tears drip down her face.
“My husband died last year Noah. That is why I had only just returned to my job when you had started your rehabilitation program here” she advises softly.
“I’m sorry Rachel” I mumble.
Everything I am currently going through trying to get over my loss was the same thing that Dr Miller has been going through herself.
“He fought as hard as he could to stay with me, but at the end of the day he wasn’t strong enough. He had thyroid cancer and we tried every treatment that was recommended by his doctors, but nothing worked. I ended up becoming his nurse in the last few months. The pain of watching the man I love slowly fade into a man he no longer recognized was harder than I had ever expected” she states softly while her tear filled eyes watch me intently.
“Be the man that Emily would want you to be Noah, fight for her, make yourself the man she has always wanted” she requests as the tears start streaming down her face.
She quickly tries to gather her composure; she wipes her hands down her face swiftly to remove the tears before standing up from the bed she was sitting on.
“I’m sorry about the baby Noah” she whispers softly before she walks out into the corridor.
The baby? What baby? Oh god no. I run into the hallway in an attempt to catch up to Dr Miller but when I peer up and down the long white corridors she is no were in sight. I end up quickly gathering my bags from my room before I briskly walk down the stairs of the Hills Hope Rehabilitation Centre, where I notice my truck is parked in the carpark with Jacob leaning on the side.
“What baby Jacob?” I ask him, as his eyes go wide in surprise at my question, before guilt settles behind them.
“No more fucking secrets Jacob, I made her promise no more secrets!” I yell angrily.
“We didn’t tell you as we didn’t want it to hinder your recovery” he states remorsefully.
“Was Emily pregnant?” I question, I already know the answer, but I need him to say it to me, I am sick of being constantly lied too.
“Yes Noah” Jacob replies hoarsely.
No, not our baby, why did our baby have to die, haven’t I been through enough. I stumble as I run around my truck to jump into the driver’s seat, before firing up the motor.
“Noah” Jacob yells loudly, as I push down on the accelerator hard.
My truck goes flying out of the rehabilitation centre, leaving a cloud of dust behind from the gravel driveway. Jacob is also left standing in the middle of the driveway looking at me dumbfounded. My vision kept flashing between Emily sitting crossed legged on the floor, eating pizza, asking me if I wanted kids, to a white coffin being lowered in the ground.
Did she know then that she was pregnant, why didn’t she tell me? Why did she lie to me? Flashes of Dr Miller’s anger management training starts to filter through my brain.
“Remember the steps of your rehabilitation Noah, breathe, think about the situation, act like a responsible adult” she recited time and time again.
I attempt to take in some long deep breaths. I picture Emily smiling brightly when she asked me if I wanted children, she must not have known that she was pregnant then. She would have told me; she knew how much I hated secrets. I continue to breathe deeply, trying to calm the fury that is raging inside, while winding my truck down along the steep Los Angeles Hills landscape. I need to start acting more responsibly, I need to turn around and go back to get Jacob. As I round a sharp corner, I notice a small child standing in the middle of the road, he is holding his hand out in front of himself, begging for me to stop. I slam down hard on the brakes and pull on the handbrake causing my tires to bounce and skid along the roads surface. But I am going too fast that I won’t be able to avoid hitting the little boy, so I pull my steering wheel hard to the right, sending my truck flying over the edge of the cliff. I turn back and look towards the boy who is standing in the middle of the road unharmed, as his inquisitive and familiar brown eyes stare deep into my soul.
The instant my truck’s tires start to lift away from the pavement, I finally feel free. It feels like I am flying, soaring freely through the air. Just like an angel would, just like Emily would fly every day in heaven. I don’t even attempt to shelter my body from the impact that is inevitably going to happen. I just close my eyes and surrender, deciding that I no longer have the strength to fight. I think about Emily, her beautiful light brown eyes, her smile and her beautiful face. It is time to finally go home, to go back to Emily, the only place I ever belonged. The instant my truck collides with the large tree trunk; I feel the direct impact of the steering wheel shattering my ribs. My lungs instantly start to fight for air after they have been punctured by my splinted bones. I relinquish the feeling of pain, feeling pain is the only thing that makes me know that I am alive. I can feel a sudden rush of warmth sliding down my face, causing part of my vision to become clouded by a sheet of red. I lift my hand and I can feel a large wound that has split down my forehead caused by me head-butting the dashboard during impact.
I can hear Jacob calling out my name in the distance before he starts banging on the window trying to pry the driver’s side door open, the force of his knuckles eventually shattering the glass.
“Noah, just hold on, help is coming. I need you to fight Noah. You have to fight” Jacob screams at me. How much longer do I have to wait, I have waited long enough, I think the time is finally coming.
I want to tell Jacob it is ok, I am at peace, I need him to let me go, I can’t fight anymore. I am too tired and it hurts too much. But when I try and tell Jacob that I am ok, the only sounds that comes out is a gargling noise from me choking on my own blood, as my lungs start to fill with my own fluids.
Jacob grips my hand tight in his, his eyes pleading for me to fight. But I smile towards him, as I slowly feel the blackness starting to roll in. This is peace, I am finally at peace.
“Charging, fully charged, stand back, clear” I hear being shouted in the distance before a surge of electricity courses through my withered and broken body.
Her beautiful face starts to flash before my eyes. All images of her smiling and laughing in the two years that I had known her.
I need to shield my eyes, it’s so bright and white. I can hear her beautiful singsong voice; it sounds like angels are singing. I have missed her laugh and her smile every fucking day.
“Emily” I whisper, thinking that I can see her walking out of the hospital room.
“Fight Noah, fight” I hear someone yelling.
I turn around and can see my broken body lying on the hospital bed. They are working hard to save me. But I want them to let me go, it’s time for me to go.
I want to find Emily, where did she go. Her vanilla scent engulfs my nostrils the instant I enter the long white hallway. I can hear her beautiful voice sounding down the hall, I follow where the noise is coming from and that is where I find her standing at the end of the hall. She is as beautiful as I remember, her long dark locks hanging freely down her back. I knew she would be waiting for me; I just wish I hadn’t made her wait so long.
I am finally home; this is where I have always wanted to be.
Chapter 18
Emily
13 December…
The instant my eyes pop open, I feel the effects of only having a few hours of sleep. Noah’s sexual appetite had been so insatiable the night before that I had only managed to get in a couple of hours of sleep
. I roll over in attempt to cuddle in close to Noah before I realise that his side of my bed is empty. I quickly lift the top half of my body off the bed and turn my head to the bathroom, wondering if he had decided to have a quick shower before he was due to the go the airport. It was only when my gaze sweeps past the alarm clock on my bed that I realise it is 5.03am in the morning and I had overslept my alarm. I had told Noah last night that I would drop him off at the airport for his 6am flight and I didn’t even manage to do that, what a great fiancé I am. When I flop my head back down on the pillow I hear the crumbling of paper in my ear. Turning my gaze to the pillow beside me, I locate a post-it note with Noah’s beautiful hand writing scribbled over it.
Good morning beautiful,
You looked so peaceful sleeping I couldn’t wake you.
I love you, more than you will ever know.
I can’t wait for you to be my wife and the mother of my children,