My lips pressed into a frown. She was still Nora, my Nora, but for the first time, I was at a loss of how to react. How was I supposed to make this better for her? “You have me,” I promised.
“I called for you.” Her fingers stilled on the monitor. “You didn’t come.”
I closed my eyes and twisted my neck so that she couldn’t see my face distort. If I heard her, I would have come the second I was able. But I couldn’t. I never could again. “I won’t be able to hear you anymore,” I said gently.
A small, pained sound escaped her throat. “Now that I’m the Weaver, you mean? Now that we’re enemies?” Her voice cracked.
“No.” I spun and gripped her face, forcing her to look at me and me at her. My stomach clenched. “I will never be your enemy, Nora. I’ll train you so when the time comes you’re ready to go back, but you will never be anything but you. Forever. You will have me no matter what.”
Tears brimmed in her green eyes, and she tugged me closer, burying her face into my shirt. “I’m scared.”
My words were trapped beneath a heavy blanket of sorrow. I tried to stomp the feeling down, to move beyond it. There was already enough suffering inside her that she didn’t need to confuse mine with her own, but it was a boulder. A mountain. Immovable. She was what everyone feared now—she should fear nothing. She needed to fear nothing if she was going to survive.
“It’ll be okay, Nora,” I finally managed. My fingers shook, and I ran a hand over her head. “We’ll get through this.”
Her tears soaked through my shirt, her back shaking with each sob. “I’m going to have to leave everyone, even you, and live in that horrible place for the rest of my miserable life.”
I held her so tight she had to feel my heart pounding against her cheek. It was true she would have to leave this world, but she could learn to Day Walk to visit her family. I didn’t know what it meant for us yet, but I didn’t want to give her up. I wouldn’t. No matter what it took, we would find a way for it to work. “You’ll never have to leave me. I’m always yours, remember?”
She tilted her head back to study me, her chin trembling. I would have given anything to know what she was thinking in that moment. Disbelief raged across her face, then a softer flash of hope, followed by a tiny crease between her brows. She wanted to believe me, but I understood the hesitation. It seemed impossible to me right now too, but things would settle down. A path might open to us when our minds were clear. It had to. A block of ice formed in my gut, frozen guilt and shame. I drew a shuddering breath.
“And I’m always yours,” she finally whispered.
I kissed her, tasting the salt from her tears, and let myself forget everything for that brief moment. Nora would be okay. We would be okay. Eventually. Six months would have to be enough time to become who she needed to be—no longer a mere Dream Keeper but a powerful new entity. A Lady of Nightmares with kindness in her heart and steel in her soul.
Acknowledgments
Now’s the part where I say thank you and pray I don’t forget anyone!
First, a huge thank you to Shayne at The Parliament House for believing in Nora and the Sandman. You not only gave them a home but created such a drool-worthy cover! Chantal, Samantha, and the entire Parliament team have been a blessing. I’m so glad I get to work with everyone!
My editor, Kate—you’re an absolute gift from the editing gods! I could shout thank you from the tallest building a million times and it wouldn’t be enough. Your hard work, dedication, and enthusiasm is more than I could’ve dreamed.
My endlessly supportive critique partners:
Lauren—You’re the best! I know I can always count on you to give me the kick in the butt I need. Kalyn—Your reaction when you read the end of this is what kept me going when edits had me down! Thank you for always cheering me on! Loretta—Thank you for tearing apart my baby and helping me put it back together! Your notes are always so thoughtful and thought out. I love you guys and this book wouldn’t be what it is without you!
Thanks to all my new publishing siblings and friends for being awesome! MB—you’re my anchor and a great co-mentor! Candance—you have the best sense of humor! Stuart—you created something very special with #WriteMentor! And speaking of mentoring—Hi Ajay and Loie! You guys are the best mentees ever!
Lindsay and Judy! Here’s to 21 years as the Three Musketeers! (Does this mean we’re old?)
Priscilla, thanks for always reading my drafts and being encouraging. (Also, a special thanks for all the Outlander spoilers!) Katie, thank you for your never-ending help with, well, everything. Elle, for all your enthusiasm. (Viva la ‘M’!) And for creating the most amazing Sandman candle! Jess, for helping a girl out! Melissa, for taking my author photo on super short notice. Stacy, for still being my trusty writing friend from 1,500 miles away.
And, of course, all the thanks to my family! My husband, who doesn’t like to read but throws all his support behind me. My boys, Ian and Ryan, for bringing magic and wonderment into each day. Nonny, who’s always been my rock. Mom, for making up Princess Periwinkle, Goldie Finch, and Princess Stinkypits when we were kids. Dad, if you didn’t answer your phone a million times a day, I would be lost. Kathy, for introducing me to all the cool stuff (sorry, I’m still #teamdemelza though). And Heather, the best sister ever.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
About the Author
Amber R. Duell was born and raised in a small town in Central New York. While it will always be home, she’s constantly moving with her husband and two sons as a military wife. Before becoming published, she had a wide range of occupations including banking, bartending (though she’s never tried alcohol), and phlebotomy (though she faints with needles). She also volunteered as a re-enactor at the local Revolutionary War fort and worked near shelter cats which led to her previous crazy cat lady status.
She does her best writing in the middle of the night, surviving the daylight hours with massive amounts of caffeine. Her favorite stories are dark with a touch of romance and a villain you either love to hate or hate to love.
When not reading or writing, she enjoys snowboarding, embroidering, snuggling with her cat, and staying up way too late to research genealogy. She loves to travel and has visited more countries than states. Kissing the Blarney Stone and hand-feeding monkeys in the mountains of France will be hard to beat, but that doesn’t stop her from trying to find the next real-life adventure.
www.amberduell.com
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