by Nikki Mays
I give her a condescending smile. “And to think, they appear more normal than you two do.”
They both turn on their heels and walking away. Score one for Mom. Although, I probably shouldn’t get too excited. I’m sure that they’ll find a way for me to or me to regret it.
Several Hours Later:
The gym is pretty much back to normal. It’s amazing what can get done when you own something with Mr. Moneybags. Granted, it did take a hell of a lot of work and elbow grease. But it’s back to looking like the awesome place that it originally did.
We did make a few new adjustments after this debacle. We have a lot less glass in the place. The counters are now solid metal that has like an old school rustic look to it. It actually gives the gym a pretty bad ass vibe. All the equipment was pretty much salvageable, so that was great. Most of it just had to be cleaned well.
The most expensive addition was the alarm system. We did have one, but it wasn’t overly high tech because it didn’t occur to us that anyone would do something to a gym. It was an alarm system that basically just told us if someone broke in through one of the doors.
This new one is crazy high tech with cameras, sensors and those laser things that you see in movies regarding museums.
It was crazy expensive to put in and keep up with, but will be well worth it if someone ever decides to do something like they did before. We’ll totally be able to see them from every angle available. It’s actually kind of creepy when you think about how monitored everything and everyone is at this point.
I shiver to myself and Danny gives me an odd look. “What was that all about?”
“Just thinking about all the cameras and being watched all the time.”
He rolls his eyes at my comment completely ignoring me since this isn’t the first time that we’ve had this conversation. “Have you had a chance to put in payroll and all the taxes for it?” He asks like a true business owner instead of the gym rat that he currently looks like covered in sweat.
“Yeah, that’s why I came in today. Well, that and that Paige and JJ are gone for the day.”
He gives a grimace. “I heard...the wedding right?” I nod my head. “Is the dress as bad as Missy and Becca say it is?”
“It might actually be worse to be honest. I feel so bad for that poor girl. No mother should ever do that to her child. Especially in front of five hundred guests.”
Dans eyes widen comically. “They invited that many people? Do they even know that many people? I don’t even know that many people and I’m fucking famous!”
I snort and shake my head at the self-loving moron. “Apparently, Jackie wanted to invite as many important people from the business world as possible. I guess Harold used to work for a huge company before deciding to own his own. I guess she’s just trying to either rub elbows with the wealthy or hoping for large gifts. Either way this wedding has become a damn side show.”
“How did JJ take seeing the dress that she has to wear?” He asks with an evil grin.
“In front of her he acted appropriately annoyed at how ugly it was.” I say while still going through all of the payroll account in Quickbooks.
“And in private?” The nosey ass asks.
I look up and give him an annoyed look that does nothing. “I had to call Rocco over so that he wouldn’t do anything stupid, like choke her to death. Unfortunately, Declan was with Rocco at the time, so he came along as well.”
Danny starts chuckling like a hyena. He even has to seat himself in one of the chairs in front of my desk. So much for getting rid of him quickly. “How did that end up going?” He asks with a voice full of glee and eyes filled with mirth.
He’s met Declan enough times to know exactly how that day went. I glare at the fool who is way too excited about this. I sigh when I realize that he’ll sit here forever. “Rocco and I had to be the adult and voices of reason about how it would be a bad idea to kill his ex-wife.”
“And Declan?” Is he hopping up and down in his chair or am I imagining it?
“That jackass went over all the ways that they could kill her and dump her body. He even tried to convince him that poor Harold is so tired of her shit and that he’s paid his penance for being a cheater, that he would probably help them. They even called Damon to go over logistics.” I rub my head where I feel a migraine coming from just thinking about that day.
“It ended up turning into a whole thing where everyone came over. It was basically me, Rocco, Morris and Michelle trying to convince him not to do it. Declan, Kayla, Marc, Mellie and Damon were telling him all of the ways that they could pull it off easy.”
Danny’s lips are pursed. “I would’ve figured that all the girls would’ve sided with you.” He rubs the back of his head. “Okay, maybe not Kay.”
“Honestly, Mellie is kind of terrifying. Like you don’t even see it coming with her since she’s usually such a happy klutz. But that woman puts our girls’ evilness to shame. There’s a lot of evil thoughts in a tiny package. I truly feel bad for the girl who breaks MJ’s heart. I don’t see that poor girl ever being the same.”
“Are you sure that you’re talking about Mellie...Morris’ wife? The last time we were all out I watched her trip twice, spill a drink on Morris and end up wearing half her food.”
I widen my eyes and nod my head. “I swear, she may not be able to physically do the killing and dumping, but she would totally be the one who came up with the how. No lie, she’s kind of scary.”
He shakes his head. “I just don’t see it.”
I nod my head slowly. “I think that’s the really scary part. You would never suspect her in a million years.”
He shakes his head like he’s dislodging something. “Anyway, I’m guessing that since Jackie is still getting married today, that you were effective in convincing him not to kill her?”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Why do you look so sad about that?”
“Because, I would fucking kill some dumb bitch who ever tried to get to one of my babies to wear something so fucking slutty. The twins said that Paige basically looks like a fucking hooker in that damn thing. As a father, I’m upset for him that he didn’t get to choke the life out of the cunt.”
“No, he called her and started yelling at her. Unfortunately, she hung up on him, which only pissed him off more. But she did decide that she didn’t have time to deal with Paige, so luckily JJ has had her this whole time. I think that’s really the only thing that has calmed him, having her all the time.”
“It’s going to kill him when he has to send her back to that selfish bitch.”
I sigh and sit back in my chair. I lean my head back and look at the ceiling. I know Danny is right. It’s going to absolutely gut him to have to return Paige back to a woman who doesn’t really give a shit about her and only really sees her as a pawn to get what she wants. God, I hate that woman more and more each freaking day.
“I know. It’s going to kill all of us. Paige has become one of us. All three of the girls are always together. Hell they even sleep together. JJ and I have joked that we should knock down a few walls and just make big room for the three of them to share. The girls really act like triplets instead of twins with a friend.”
Danny shakes his head in sympathy. “I couldn’t imagine only having set times with the twins. Only being able to see them on certain days and that’s it. That’s one of the worst things that I can think of. I’m so glad that we just always left everything open to whenever we wanted them. Or whenever one parent was ready to toss them out a window.”
He gives me a smirk and I burst out laughing. I can’t even tell you how many times I called him to tell him that if he didn’t take his spawn for a few days that I was tossing them out an open window. Especially when they were little. One small child is a lot to handle. But two of them who think exactly alike? If it wasn’t for Danny and wine, I might be in jail right now.
“I swear they get their evilness from you! There’s just no other explanation for it. Y
ou must’ve been a bad influence or something.”
“Why is it always my fault when they act evil?” He asks in mock indignation.
“Because I’m sure you made them like this so that no boy would ever want to date their evil asses!” I chuckle only partially kidding. I really wouldn’t put it past him to have come up with that plan the day they were born and to have carried it out this long.
“How do you explain Paige then? Huh, miss high and mighty?” He sniffs.
I look him dead in the eyes. “She has a stupidly over protective daddy too. Come to think of it, you two have always oddly gotten along really well.”
He holds up an index finger. “Firstly, it’s not stupid to love our little girls more than life itself and only want the best for them. If being okay with the fact that they act evil and no boy will ever want to date them is wrong, then I don’t ever want to be right.” Jesus he’s quoting old lame songs now.
He holds up another finger. Awe, look at my little boy learning to count like a big boy. He narrows his eyes at me like he can hear my thoughts. We’ve been friends for way too long. “And secondly, you should be ecstatic that we get along so well. How many times have we dated people who were instantly jealous or suspicious of our relationship? There’s none of that shit with JJ. You should be thankful he’s man enough to realize that you and I are just friends and not be a prick about it.”
I raise my eyebrow. “And?”
Danny gives me a stubborn look. “And if we happen to come up with great ideas on how to keep the girls virgins forever, then so be it. Just because he’s your man, doesn’t mean that he can’t be my friend.”
“You literally sound like a jealous wife right now.” I drawl.
“You sound like a bitter hag most days but you don’t see me pointing that out all the time, do you?”
I give him an incredulous look. “When the hell do I ever sound like a bitter hag, you washed up has been?”
He leans forward in his chair and looms over my desk. If I didn’t know his fool ass so well I might be intimidated but I’m not. I lean forward so that we’re nose to nose.
“You know, someone less secure in their relationship might get the wrong idea when walking in here and seeing this.” We both look at the door and see JJ leaning against the door jam with a smirk on his face.
“She called me a washed up has been.” Danny growls at me, still nose to nose.
I narrow my eyes to slits at this idiot. “Only after you called me a bitter hag.”
“Seems to be fitting right now.” My soon to be dead ex mutters.
“You should be careful. I already found the girls a backup bad ass dad. You’re not really necessary anymore.”
Danny looks over at JJ. “How drunk were you when you decided that this shrew,” he quirks his thumb in my direction, “was the best that you could do? I mean it man, I could introduce you to some prime ass tail.” Dan looks at me with a glint in his eyes. “Young ones.”
JJ is just standing there shaking his head at us. “I swear, if those girls weren’t exact replicas of the two of you, I would never believe that you were once a couple. Best friends, yes, siblings...definitely, but a couple? Never in a million years.”
Ignoring the jackass that I share my children and business with, I look over at JJ. “What are you doing back so soon babe?”
“Did Paige trip Jackie down the aisle and get kicked out of the wedding? Or did she go for the try and true method of spraying blood red paint on her?” Danny asks with way too much excitement.
I wonder how bad of a person it makes me to wonder and hope for the same things. Again, I blame Danny, he’s been a horrible influence on all of us over the years.
“Sorry to disappoint you both.” JJ drawls.
I frown at my man. “Hey, I didn’t say anything.”
I hear a chuckle come from both men. “Don’t act like you weren’t hoping for it too babe. You’re just as bad as he is.”
“Take that back!” I screech.
Danny tilts his head at me. “See bitter hag, turned annoying shrew. Really man, you could be doing so much better.”
“As much as I usually enjoy watching you two come close to killing one another. I’m actually here for a reason right now. I need a favor from one of you.”
“What’s going on honey?” I ask in a worried tone.
JJ runs his neck from side to side cracking it. “The guys and I are getting called in on some weird ass call. But I have no idea how long it’s going to take. I hate to ask this, but can one of you drive the hour to go and get Paige? I already texted her to expect one of you.”
He looks over at Danny with a frown. “I feel like it probably shouldn’t be you. I don’t trust that you won’t say or do anything stupid.”
Danny snickers at him and places his hand on his chest. “Me? You’re worried about me. Have you met your crazy/petty ass woman? She hates that bitch ex-wife of yours more than anyone in this world. She’s already claimed Paige as one of her evil little chicks. You’ll be lucky if you aren’t looking at a future of conjugal visits. Sage doesn’t take too kindly to someone hurting her chicks, regardless of how evil and deviant they can be.”
Danny starts really laughing to himself. “Sage will probably bring the twins along and you’ll have to figure out a way to get your entire family out of jail. How bad is it going to look that a cop has to get all four of his girls out of jail for trying to kill his ex-wife?” Danny literally has tears running down his face. “Man, my lawyers can only do so much, but really there’s no helping crazy.”
There was a lot that Danny just said but one thing stands out the most. He told JJ that he would have to get all four of his girls out of jail. Danny just gave JJ the highest compliment that he’ll ever give anyone...he gave him our girls. Judging by the look on JJ’s face, he caught onto it too.
But of course men don’t get mushy. I’m ready to bawl and these two, well they’re staring at each other with smirks? What the hell?
“So, now you’re trying to pawn all of them off on me?” JJ asks.
Danny raises his arms. “Listen, you already claimed Sage, for unknown reasons” –he mumbles that part like an asshole – “you might as well as take the terror twins too. At this point, after adding Paige to the mix, they’re more like the triplets of terror.”
JJ crosses his arms. “What are you claiming Paige now?”
“I have to, I can’t tell the difference between all the evil hormones anymore. They’re just a walking evil blur at this point. Plus, Paige deserves to have at least one cool dad who’s famous.”
“And men say that women are weird.” I murmur.
They both look at me with a frown. “What’s that supposed to mean babe?”
I blink a few times wondering if he’s serious. I look at dopey number two and realize that he’s giving me the exact same look. These two really don’t get it. “You both ruined such a special moment by being...men.” I finish with disgust in my voice.
“And this right here, is how women ruin shit.” Danny calmly states.
JJ looks at his watch. “Will one of you please go save her from the wicked bitch of my nightmares?”
“Yeah man, don’t worry about it. Cagey Paigey will be home safe and no longer dressed like a broke stripper.” Danny tells him with a chuckle.
The scowl that comes across JJ’s face at the mention of the dress is downright comical. It’s actually really hard to keep a straight face when he looks like that.
“That reminds me.” He picks up a black bag at his feet and chucks it at Danny who catches it easily. “She packed some normal clothes and left it in my truck so that she doesn’t have to walk around anywhere looking like that.” JJ finishes that last word on a hiss much to our enjoyment.
I stand up and walk around my desk towards JJ. I walk up to him and put my arms around his neck. I scratch the back of his head like I know he likes. “Don’t worry honey, we’ve got her. If you’re not back early, we’ll just d
o facials and chick flicks for the rest of the night.”
“Or we could do a horror movie marathon and show them all the ways that they can kill people who piss them off.” Danny offers from his chair like the useless sack of shit that he is at times.
“I really don’t know which one sounds worse.” JJ states.
“You know it’s the chick flicks.” Danny says and I notice that JJ doesn’t disagree at all. Hrmph...annoying men.
“Just worry about yourself and coming home safe to us.” I tell the man of my dreams. “We’ll be fine. Probably planning Danny’s accidental death. You know, just a normal evening.”
JJ looks down at me with a grin and then behind me and starts laughing. I can only imagine what nasty gestures that shithead is making behind me. Totally planning on how he’ll accidentally fall – get pushed – in front of a bus.
JJ looks down at me with happiness swimming in his loving eyes. “I’ll leave you guys to your interesting plans.” He sobers up. “Thank you for picking up Paige. I really appreciate it, more than you’ll ever know.”
I just give him a smile and a shrug. “Danny wasn’t wrong. I may not have hatched her but she’s still one of my chicks.”
“It definitely doesn’t work that way. Things like this prove that I did all the work in our sciences and biology classes.”
I turn my head. “Don’t you have your own office that you can go to?” I ask snottily.
He puts both arms behind his head. “You both know that you love me.” The smug ass grins.
I turn back to my man and ignore the man that I’m probably going to be stuck with forever and not just until the girls are eighteen. “I love you. Be safe and let me know when you get back to the station.”
He smiles down at me with full dimples. If only we had a few minutes alone. “I love you too. I’ll be safe, don’t worry about me. I’ll let you know when we get back.”
I get one more toe-curling kiss and a slap to my ass before he’s out the door. Of course, that doesn’t stop him from making a parting remark when he’s far enough away. “Plus, if I can deal with you four during shark week, I can handle anything, with ease.”