Cowboy Daddy

by Stephanie Brother

  Rachel probably didn’t deserve it, but the first thing I felt when I caught sight of her, besides surprise, was annoyance.

  “Don’t you dare take another step, Jason,” my grandpa barked.

  Despite my better judgment, I did as he’d said. I didn’t even mean to do it; it was probably back on the ranch. I was thinking of a time when I listened to everything he said because I felt I didn’t have much of choice. I’d hated it even then.

  “What is it, Grandpa Nathan,” I said without turning around. “Exactly what did you call me out here for?”

  “Like I said, a discussion. You and I are going to have this talk, and don’t you dare think of leaving before then. You have a lot of responsibilities, and not just to your work. You need to start owning up if you don’t want to end up like your father.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest, then walked forward. My steps were slower, though, measured. I only wanted to get to the living room; I wasn’t thinking of jumping back into my car and making the trip back to the city. I could make it back by evening.

  But, we might as well have this talk, or he would probably just keep pestering me for it at some other time.

  I sat down on the single seat, then watched as grandpa walked into the room and sat down on the couch. His face hadn't changed much, and his hair was almost completely gray the last time I saw him, so I couldn’t even tell if that had changed. I did, however, notice how he moved much slower, as if he wasn’t as sure of himself. But, though his steps showed that, his hard expression made it seem like he hadn't changed at all.

  “I didn’t come here just so you can tell me all about my dad, did I, Grandpa Nathan?”

  “Not entirely, but I feel like you need the lesson. Should I tell you all about your father so you can listen to everything else I have to say? Because I have a feeling you’re going to be stubborn about this.”

  I snorted. If it had anything to do with Rachel, then yes, I probably was.

  “So?” I prompted. “Tell me.”

  He narrowed his eyes at me. “I had nothing against your father, but I hated how he lived his life. Many times I didn’t get involved because I thought he didn’t want or need me to. Surely he could have manned up on his own and set things right without needing to be told exactly how to do that.”

  I pursed my lips, but didn’t interrupt. Still, I could already see where this was going.

  “Your mother put up with a lot from your father. He wasn’t faithful to her, and from pretty early on, she knew of it. She talked to me about it. Even then, I didn’t let myself get involved too much. Because she loved him, she tolerated it and stayed, even though it made her miserable in the end.”

  “And, what?” I asked, cutting in. “Am acting exactly like my dad?”

  “Of course you are, Jason. I did nothing then, and I watched your parents fall apart, I refuse to make the same mistake twice. The way you’re behaving isn’t so far from him, and I want you to change. You are a grown-up, and you know it. You need to start acting like a man, Jason.”

  I frowned without saying anything. I didn’t have that many great memories of my dad. Still, I thought he was taking it a little too far. I was nothing like my old man. That was pretty much an insult, second only to me acting a lot like my grandpa. Two people I never looked at as role models growing up, no matter what.

  “That isn’t the only problem,” he went on. “There’s no other road left for me now. This ranch… I had hopes of leaving it to you. It has been my intention for a while now…but I’m hesitating because of how you’ve been acting.”

  I arched my eyebrows, then scoffed. I stood up, feeling like I’d had enough. I didn’t leave immediately yet, though.

  “If all you’re looking for is an heir, why not go look for Noah, instead, huh?” I sneered. “Isn’t he your favorite grandson, anyway? Frankly, I couldn’t give a damn, and I’m sure that idiot would just jump at the chance.”

  He was mad. I could tell easily with the way he set his mouth; hands tightened into fists on his thighs. I left then, ignoring when I heard him rise and follow me.

  “Jason!” he yelled. “Get your ass back here, Jason! You need to learn, and you can't do that by running away all the time! Jason!”

  I didn’t pay attention to what he was saying. I wasn’t running away, I never wanted to be there in the first place, he was just giving me a reason to leave early, and I couldn’t be happier. As much as I’d made the trip quickly, I hadn't been looking forward to it. I was, however, looking forward to the trip back.

  On the drive down, I’d realized that I belonged to the city. So I felt nothing but calm as I walked down the porch steps, got into my car, and left the ranch.

  Chapter Four

  Rachel

  When a car that could only be Jason’s drove up to the front of the house, Nathan and I both heard it. The engine sounded too low, and most of the cars that ever came to the ranch were big cars or trucks. The sound of Jason’s engine was so low; we heard the tires driving up first when most trucks could be heard from quite a distance away.

  And then, the front door was opening, and I heard his voice.

  Jason…

  How long had it been since I’d heard his voice? Longer than since I last saw him, and that had only been at a distance when he didn’t even notice I was there because I’d wanted it that way.

  So why the fuck am I here, waiting for him to show up? Get up and run away, Rachel! He’s too close!

  It was a little too late just to run away, though. I knew I wouldn’t make it, even if I went for the back door just a few feet away. Because I could hear his feet as he walked across the living room.

  My body turned on its own the closer he got. I was nervous and afraid, but a part of me still very much wanted to see him. Even just a glimpse, though I’d probably be getting more than that. And then, he was there.

  The moment I saw Jason in the doorway to the kitchen, it was like everything went still for me.

  He looked no different from what I remembered, besides the fact he was wearing a suit with a trench coat over it, all in black, except for the white shirt and blue striped tie. His hair was styled to the side, and I couldn’t help thinking he looked good.

  He was, however, not happy to see me. Like I’d expected.

  Nathan stopped him from leaving, and they went into the living room to have their chat instead. Again, as expected, Jason left like it was nothing.

  With Nathan’s last words to him still ringing in my ears, and the sound of his car driving away long gone, I got up.

  My body had been trembling, but I was completely calm at that moment. I ignored the squeezing of my heart in my chest and went out to the living room, where Nathan still stood by the open door.

  “He’s still the same jerk as always,” I muttered. “I guess some things just don’t change.”

  Nathan didn’t even try to argue with me. He sighed, and I walked over to him. I wrapped my arm around his and tugged him with me as I went to sit down on the couch. He followed with steps as heavy as my heart.

  “I’m sorry you had to hear that,” he said gruffly.

  I just shrugged. “It’s not something I wasn’t expecting, Nathan. Don’t mind it. I just realized something that I should have been clued into already.”

  He looked at me with sad eyes. “I always believed he didn’t deserve you, with how he was treating you.”

  I laughed lightly, even as my heart gave a suspicious squeeze. “That’s fine, Nathan. I don’t remember what I ever saw in him if there was anything at all. This was bound to happen, but…I believe I’m better off.”

  When Jason walked out of my life…it had been cruel, but in a way, it was also the best thing he could have done for me. I’d known we were over long before he told me, and there had been a part of me that had been relieved. Because I really hadn't liked how he was treating me in the weeks before he left. If I’d had to put up with it for the rest of my life, I would have gotten sick of it at som
e point.

  After how he’d acted when he came here, clearly, those feelings weren’t wrong.

  “I think it’s best if I leave now,” I said reluctantly. “I don’t want to leave you alone, but…”

  He shook his head. “No. I know you have responsibilities yourself, and unlike my bastard grandson, you take yours seriously. It was fortunate he came so soon, so you don’t have to take too much of your time here. I’m sorry for whatever inconvenience I’ve caused you.”

  “Not at all, Nathan,” I complained. “I wanted to come here. And it was good seeing you again. Maybe, next time I come over, I could bring company with me.”

  He smiled, and I couldn’t help but think how tired and sad it looked.

  “I would love that, Rachel,” he said patting my arm, then giving a light squeeze.

  I was a bit reluctant to leave him, but he was right. I had other responsibilities I was putting off. I would be needed elsewhere. I was hesitating because it looked like Nathan needed me as well. But when he saw my hesitation, he put on a brave face, nodding his head as he pulled his arm away from me.

  “You can go and get your things packed,” he prompted. “I’ll have someone come and drive you into town.”

  I sighed, then leaned forward to leave a peck on Nathan’s cheek. Then I stood up and headed for the stairs, and up to the room I’d been offered for the night. I’d assumed I would be staying a while, and had other outfits packed. I changed out of the one I was in, feeling disgusted with myself.

  “What did you expect to happen,” I muttered out loud as I took off the earrings, necklace, and ring I’d put on. “That he’d go ‘oh, Rachel. I was wrong. Take me back?’” I scoffed. “Yeah, right. If it were anyone other than Jason…”

  I stopped for a minute, taking a deep breath and blinking back the tears that wanted to spill out.

  Why hadn't I just trusted my instincts about him? That he hadn't changed, and thinking otherwise was only a fantasy?

  I hadn't lied when I told Nathan I didn’t remember what I saw in Jason when we first got together. One more time, all I got to see was his back as he walked away from me. I should have been better off without him that first time, but he wasn’t someone so easy to forget. When he was nice, he was… Amazing. But, he was too much of a jerk that I should have given him up a long time ago already.

  With my things packed, I picked up my bag. I’d changed into my usual jeans and t-shirt. I had a jacket in my bag, but I had to remind myself that it was daytime and the sun was pretty hot. I was feeling cold, but that was probably more emotional than anything to do with the weather.

  When I was sure I wouldn’t break down crying, I left the room.

  “Nathan?” I called out. “I’ll be leaving now.”

  I hadn’t heard someone come for me yet, but I could just as well wait outside for someone to come by with a car to take me home. I didn’t get a response from Nathan, though, and I slowly went down the stairs.

  “Nathan?” I called again, thinking he just hadn't heard me the first time.

  He might have stepped outside to the front porch to make the call because I couldn’t hear him in the living room. I just shrugged and jogged down the remaining steps.

  It was then that I heard it. The front door opened, and I concluded I was right, he had stepped outside for the call. But then, there was something strange. I heard the door slam against the wall; then something makes a loud bang as it hit the floor hard enough that I could swear I could feel trembles on the floor.

  I rounded the staircase in a rush, already knowing what I would see, but not wanting to believe it. I couldn’t deny it when I saw him lying on the floor, though, half in and half out.

  Nathan had stumbled through the door, and he lay down, passed out, the phone dropped some feet away. My heart went completely still in my chest as I dropped beside him. I couldn’t hear myself shouting his name over the beating of my heartbeat, in my ears, but I was sure that I did it.

  He didn’t answer…

  Chapter Five

  Jason

  I got back home that same evening. I was so tired out from driving all over the place that the first thing I did was go to my bedroom and fall into bed. I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I had a very long, very restful sleep.

  When I woke up, I felt like a new man. Why couldn’t I go back to work just as usual? I had work to do. It was a business I’d strived for on my own, for years, without the help of my family. So what if my grandpa didn’t leave his ranch to me? I had enough to my name to feel good about going independent. And, either way, I still wouldn’t have taken it.

  I was probably not the person meant to have it, anyway.

  So, I went around getting ready. I hadn't woken up too late, and after an extra day of absence, I was in a hurry to get back into the swing of things. My life wouldn’t go back to normal if I just sat back and waited for it to, after all.

  I had some time for breakfast, and for the first time in a while, I made some. I had ingredients all over the house, and I fried some bacon and eggs, made some coffee. Then I sat down at my dining table to eat, going through news headlines on my phone.

  My happy time was cut off when it rang, and I frowned at the unfamiliar number on my phone. Still, because I was in a relatively good mood, I answered it.

  “Hello?” I said, picking up my fork to continue eating. There was only a little bit left; then I’d have five minutes to finish getting dressed, get my briefcase, and get out. Plenty of time, when I had everything on, but for my sleeves that were pushed back on my forearms, and my jacket that lay on the back of my couch.

  “Hello, sir?” an unfamiliar voice said back.

  I frowned. “I’m sorry, I don’t know who this is. Is there something I can help you with?”

  “I hope so. I’m looking for relatives of Nathan. I’m Dr. Mitchel, and I have him here at the hospital.”

  I stilled. “I’m sorry, did you say hospital?”

  Why would my grandpa be in a hospital? I’d seen him just yesterday, and by the way, he’d shouted at me, he’d sounded in perfect health.

  “Yes, sir,” Dr. Mitchel said. “What relation do you have to Mr. Nathan?”

  “I’m his grandson,” I said impatient, anxious to hear what he had to say. “Jason.”

  There was a weary sigh that didn’t make me feel any better about the reason for this call.

  “I’m afraid I have some bad news for you, Jason. Your grandpa collapsed from a heart attack. You might want to come and see him as soon as possible.”

  Impossible.

  It was the first thing I thought of when I heard the words. He’d looked just fine when I left him yesterday! But, even though my mind was stuck on that, time moved on. I heard the doctor tell me what hospital; it was the one in the town near the ranch. Which meant, I’d have to drive back down again. Because of course, I was going.

  I picked up my phone and wallet and rushed back to my car with my jacket folded over my arm. I thought to make a call to Noah, ignoring the twisting and tightening in my chest as I did. I didn’t have the time for guilt just yet.

  “Noah,” I said once he picked up, then quickly speaking to him before he could say anything else. “This is important. Grandpa had a heart attack. If you remember the hospital in town, get over there. I’m on my way.”

  I hung up after I told him what I needed to. I didn’t have anything else to say. Instead, I jumped into my car and drove, going even faster than before. I had to put up with the speed limit while in the city, but luckily, it was early enough that I didn’t have to put up with traffic. Once I was out of the city, though, my speed shot up, and I was glad for the higher speed limit.

  It was still several hours before I made it to the hospital. The sun was just about setting, but I could barely think about that. I ran into the hospital, asked where my grandpa was, and rushed up to his floor.

  Noah was there, and he stood up from the hard waiting chair he’d been sitting on whe
n he caught sight of me.

  “Did you see him?” I asked, frantic before he could even open his mouth.

  He nodded. “Yeah. He’s just…sleeping now. The doctor doesn’t want anyone in to bother him just yet; we’ll have to wait a little bit.”

  I nodded slowly, but the tension I’d felt growing since I first got the call wasn’t going down. I doubted anything could bring it down. Especially with Noah’s grim look.

  “You took your time getting here,” he said.

  Wasn’t sure if that was an accusation, or if he was just trying to be conversational.

  “I had a long trip,” I said, just a tad defensive. “How long have you been here, anyway?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe an hour?”

  So, he hadn't been there that much longer. That knowledge didn’t make me feel better, though. An hour and he still hadn't been able to see Grandpa Nathan.

  “What took you?” I asked, taking some shaky steps to sit down. The chairs were uncomfortable, but I didn’t think I could stay up on my feet much longer.

  Noah slowly sat back down. “I already have my ranch to take care of,” he said with lips tightened. “So I hope you plan on sticking around, brother, I can't take care of two ranches. I only came to see if Grandpa was okay. After I get to see him, I’m leaving.”

  I frowned at Noah. I hadn't heard he’d gotten his own ranch. But then, my brother and I hadn't been in contact for a while. My relationship with him was even worse than with my grandpa, and it didn’t help that he didn’t try to reach out to me, either.

  “I’ll look after the ranch,” I declared abruptly, impulsively.

  I clenched my fists right after I said it. Because I hadn't meant to, but there wasn’t anything else I could say with Noah stating he had no intention of sticking around. Even though his relationship with our grandpa should have been better than mine.