by Marie Skye
“Breathe.” He kissed me. “Remember, you have the power to stop this at any time.” I nodded. He went over to a drawer and removed something. He held it up, and my eyes widened. “This will help, I promise.” He placed the blindfold over my eyes, and in a weird way, it started to calm me. I heard more movement. “You’re shaking.”
I took a deep breath. “I’m a little nervous, having never done this before.”
“Do you trust me, Emmalin?”
“Of course.”
“Good. Open your mouth.” I obliged. He placed a small pill on my tongue followed by a drink of water. “Swallow, baby. I’m not giving you anything harmful, I promise you. It’s just to relax you.”
“Do you always drug the ladies before the show?” I giggled, trying to insert humor in the situation. I realized it was the wine talking since it was eerily quiet because he didn’t find what I just said funny at all.
“I have three ball gags to choose from, Emmalin. Would you like one?”
I cleared my throat. “No, sir.”
He began kneading my shoulders, and I relaxed at just the mere touch of him. “Are you ready?”
I nodded. “Yes,” I whispered.
He gently squeezed my shoulders before walking around. The room filled with music. It was loud but not loud enough where I couldn’t still hear him. I tried looking in the direction I thought he might’ve gone, which was pointless since I was blindfolded, when out of nowhere, the first lash landed on my backside so sharp I screamed out. I wasn’t prepared for such a hit. Before I could take a breath, another lash landed in the same spot, only harder, causing me to jerk forward.
I didn’t even know what he was using. A belt of some sort. His hits became methodical, yet each one harder and harder, and it was only after I stopped screaming and he pulled my hair back did I notice he had been asking me a question.
“You wanted this, so don’t fucking cower from me now. I told you what I would do, didn’t I?” I didn’t answer. “Didn’t I?” He gripped my hair tighter. I was full-blown crying now. “If you want me to stop, you know what to say.” I heard a click, and the cross started circling.
“Tell me a story, Emmalin. I’ll start it. Once upon a time, someone hurt me. That person caused unimaginable harm. Here’s where you finish the rest.”
Fuck. I shook my head. I wasn’t doing this.
“I asked you a question. I will break you, Emmalin.” He stood directly behind me, and even though I was trembling, I needed him.
“Stop it, Grayson,” I barely whispered.
I heard him smirk as he rubbed his hand down my stomach to my pussy. “That word means nothing here. You know that.” He began circling my clit, and as much as I wanted to hate him right now, my treacherous body betrayed me. He leaned forward and whispered in my ear. “And by the way, you’re drenching my hand. I doubt you’d want me to stop.”
I gripped the restraints tighter, I was so close.
“Do you want to take it?”
“Yes, please.” Right when I was about to go over, he delivered a hard slap to my pussy before moving away. “No!” I whimpered as my pending orgasm faded.
“No control here.” I received another hard lash to my backside. This time, he was using something different. A flogger by the feel of it. The hits were becoming harder, but all of a sudden he eased up, which was strange. I felt like I was going numb. The music and the room started to become fuzzy. The pain from earlier stopped, which was odd since only moments ago I felt like I was on fire.
I felt movement in front of me. Grayson. He sounded so far away, but I made out something. “Subspace.” I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. He undid the straps, carried me to the bed, and carefully laid me on my side. “I got you.” I just laid there as he massaged me as gently as he could while I started falling asleep.
“Don’t fucking ask me to do that again. Please. Don’t ask me to do that again. I’ll do whatever it takes to fix you, but I can’t do that again.”
That was the last thing I heard before I dozed off.
“This must be pretty important to call me into the office at 3:00 a.m.”
I looked at Dr. Klein. “I pay you enough. You also said to call anytime.”
He crossed his leg at the ankle and nodded. “Yes, I did, and I meant it. How about you sit down and tell me what brings you here, Grayson?”
I was flipping the fuck out. I looked at the chair and kept pacing. “I took her to the club. I didn’t want to. But at the same time, I did.”
He nodded, writing something down. “Was this a mutual decision?”
“No. Well, yes. She wanted the pain, and I said if she wanted it, then I would give it to her because I didn’t want her doing it to herself.”
“So she hurts herself?”
I faced the window. “She has nightmares. Something happened. I don’t know what, she won’t tell me, but it became pretty fucking apparent tonight. Something happened, and when she has a nightmare, I guess she punishes herself for them.”
“That’s not an unusual form of punishment. Lots of people use it as a way to try and forget a horrific event. However, it’s quite dangerous, and in certain cases, it’s been known to be taken too far and lead to death. Tell me what happened that led up to tonight, Grayson.”
I proceeded to tell him, starting with her nightmare and how I had told her about my past, and then how she wanted me to use it on her as a form of punishment. “We went to the club, even though I knew it would trigger my aggressiveness and I wouldn’t hold back. Afterward, I sat and watched her sleep for an hour before I wrapped her up in a blanket as gently as I could and took her home. I was hoping the pill I had her take would’ve calmed her down a lot quicker, with hopes of her reaching subspace a lot sooner to end this ridiculous punishment she wanted, but it didn’t, and I went overboard. I tried so hard to control myself, and even when I broke the skin, it only urged me on. I’m a sick fuck. A sick fuck that got the urge to threaten her. She’s not safe with me, and yet I can’t let her go. I've never been like this, I've never had this strong of a reaction toward anyone ever, and it scares me, but it scares me more if she wasn't there. That's all I've figured out.”
I paced the room, as if looking for the answers. I hated this fucking room. Everything about it. "I can't leave her alone. I won't. If you told me right now to walk away, I honestly don't think I could do that, and do you know how psychotic that sounds? Like I'm some freak that's obsessed!"
"Grayson, how would you feel if I had a session with both of you?"
I stopped pacing and looked at Dr. Klein. A full minute went by before I said anything. “I think I hurt her. I do, and she’s going to hate me, and if I haven’t hurt her from last night, then I’m going to hurt her in other ways eventually.”
“Grayson, why has she been different from all the other women you’ve been with? From our past sessions, you’ve made it clear you’re not into relationships. In fact, you’ve downright refused them. This is the first you’ve actually put effort into and made a big deal about.”
I glared at him. I knew what he was getting at. “What’s your question?”
He raised an eyebrow. “My question is, why her?”
“Those other women, I wasn’t ‘with’ them. I fucked them. I used them, and they used me. There’s a difference. I’m with Emmalin. I care about her. She sees me. I want to protect her because I love her.”
He stood up, walked towards me, and placed his hand on my shoulder. “I’ve known you since you were an ornery little shit, Grayson. And now you’re just a bigger ornery shit.” I smiled. “You love her. I know that because she’s the only woman you’ve ever talked to me about openly. Not even Carmen. We’ll work on fixing this, and we’ll work on fixing her too, okay?” I nodded at the man who’d known me my whole life.
I got home before 5:00 a.m. She was still sleeping. I knew she would be out probably for a few more hours, but once she woke, aftercare had to start immediately, especially s
ince I didn’t know where she would be emotionally. I checked her back, grimacing at the redness and rubbed on more arnica oil to relieve the pain. A part of me relished seeing my marks on her, which in turn, made my dick hard. Being a sick fuck hadn’t left my system. I sat back against the headboard, shut my eyes, and waited for the changes to come.
I peered up at my mom. She looked tired but tried hard to fight it. She always smiled. Even when she was in pain, she managed to smile. She never wanted to scare me.
"When people die, do they stop having birthdays?"
My mom gazed down at me and placed her hand on my cheek.
"No, they just don't have cake." I looked up at her and smiled. It satisfied me. I didn’t even know why. I was five.
I sat up, gasping for breath. I felt like I had been underwater for hours, drowning. The pain of my back immediately hit, and I screamed the moment his hands touched me.
"Emmalin, I got you.” I glanced behind me as Grayson took off his shirt and gently folded himself around me. I sat there calming myself before finally looking at him and giving him a smile. Only, he wasn't smiling. In fact, he looked downright pissed. He pushed my hair over one shoulder as he checked my back. "You have a few open cuts I want to bandage.” He reached to the bedside table.
I grabbed his arm. "Hey, what happened last night? I mean, I remember some of it, but not all.” He started rubbing arnica oil on my back. He didn't speak for so long, I didn't think he was going to.
"I gave you something to calm you, it's not something I normally do, but I was hoping it would've calmed you enough to bring you to your senses to stop the whole thing.” I lay there as he gently massaged the oil into my back. "Naturally, that backfired since you go against everything I say, so I proceeded, and the moment I picked up that belt, the demon in me came out. I knew you were scared, but that's what thrilled me. I fed off it. I wanted you to safeword me, and the fucked-up part was, even if you did, I wasn't going to stop.” I slowly sat up, until I faced him. He looked at me with so much remorse in his eyes. "I broke the skin, and I still didn't stop. That's who I am. That's what I was. I don't want to be that person with you."
My eyes filled with tears. “Grayson.” I couldn’t even look at him, I was so ashamed. “I thought it would help you, as much as I thought it would help me. I thought you still wanted that life. I didn’t want you to try to be something you weren’t because of me. Your lifestyle isn’t something you can just turn on and off.”
I moved to get off the bed, but he stopped me and pulled me into his lap. “You’re right, it’s not something I can just turn on and off, and that’s the problem. I stopped doing those things because of you. Because of you, I no longer wanted to tie someone up and beat them for my sheer enjoyment while they screamed in pain. I was a sadistic fuck.” He wiped my tears. “Now, now I only want to tie you up to have you scream my name because you keep coming. Never to hurt you…”
I smiled. "I can probably deal with that, but it’s no surprise that I enjoy the pain and want it."
He nodded. "I was hoping you would agree to that.” He turned me around. "How are you feeling?"
I moaned as he massaged my shoulders. "Honestly? I'm okay. I thought I would feel different for some reason. If anything, a little drained, like I've had one too many shots.” I started giggling as I tried moving off the bed and began wobbling. Grayson reached me before I had the chance to get too far.
"Yeah, just as I thought. You're still dropping, babe. Lie down and don't move. You aren't doing or going anywhere today."
I rolled over, burying my face in the pillow. "You're so silly.” It was the last thing I said before drifting off to sleep.
I awoke several hours later to a buzzing sound. It took me a moment to realize it was a phone. I glanced around the room and discovered I was by myself. There was a note on the pillow next to me.
Grabbing food. Drink the juice and water on the nightstand. Don't move.
I smiled, removing the cap from the juice and chugging half of it in seconds. I finished off the juice and reached for the water, doing the same. I got up from the bed carefully, needing to stretch my muscles. Deciding I was able to walk without giddiness, I went to shower. I tried getting a good look at the redness of my backside. They weren't too terrible, but noticeable and sore. I cooled the temperature in the shower and let the water relax me. I felt his presence before he stepped in.
"I told you not to move."
I moaned as he nipped my ear and wrapped his arms around me.
"It's fun being rebellious."
He smiled into my neck. "Good to know you do it on purpose.” He reached for the soap and worked it into a lather and started soaping me up. The way his hands glided over me had me panting in no time. I knew this wasn't supposed to be sexual, but my body was on fire. He leaned me against the wall and bent down to tap my ankle to lift.
“I can smell how turned on you are, even with the water, your pussy glistens.” My cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Before I could say anything, he hooked my leg around his shoulder and licked my mound from opening to my clit. He inhaled deeply. “This is my favorite scent. So intoxicating, like a fucking drug, and it’s mine.”
I cried out as he continued to suck on my clit and inserted two fingers. He would teeter me on the brink, and ease up before I could fall over. I dug my hands into his hair as he stretched me, adding in a third finger.
“You were so good last night. I want you to take this because you deserve it. I want you to come in my mouth. I want to taste all of you.” He thrust harder, and that sent me falling over the edge as he sucked , and I screamed out as waves of pleasure shot through me.
I was about to fall when his lips crashed into mine. “I love the way you taste.”
I reached between us, his cock hard against my stomach. “I want you, Grayson.”
He lifted me up effortlessly. “You’ll always have me, baby.” He slid me down, and we both moaned upon contact. I wrapped my arms around him tight, loving this feeling. Us. “You’re mine, no matter what. Tell me you’re mine.”
I looked at him. Something in his voice, it was almost as if he was pleading.
“I’m not going anywhere. You and me, remember?” Cupping his face, I kissed him, and he deepened the kiss. I gasped as his thrusts became more forceful, causing his pelvic bone to grind against my clit.
“Fuck, baby, you’re squeezing me.” Grayson let out a curse before suddenly pulling out and jerking himself off down the shower drain. I unwrapped my legs from around him, both of us still panting.
“That felt so fucking amazing,” he whispered into my ear.
I moaned, still in my sex haze. “Food.”
He laughed. “Yes, let’s feed you.”
“Are we really watching this?”
“Yes! This is hilarious. Tyler never wanted to watch it with me whenever he was here.”
I cringed at that name. “Did he come and go often?”
She shrugged before flipping through the movie selection, looking for the title, not really answering the question.
“How did you guys meet again?”
She took a long drink of her wine. “I told you, we met in Arizona, went to the same school, probably met briefly, and years later, somehow met each other here… and I don’t know, we ended up becoming good friends.”
I was going to ask more, but she snuggled in to me as her stupid zombie movie started to play. I couldn’t help but think that it wasn’t long ago I barely knew this woman. And now, I’d managed to move her in and fall completely in love with her. I knew it was only a matter of time before she’d hate me.
“You have a few more days left on your contract.”
I looked up over my coffee cup to Grayson. I still hadn’t given him a definite answer on joining his company, and while he hadn’t pressured me, he still made subtle hints now and then. Like this one.
If he had it his way, I wouldn’t leave his side. But now that he wanted to go public with our relationshi
p, it made me a little more apprehensive. So as usual, I did what I did best. I either ignored him or distracted him with sex.
I peeked at his watch. “We have to go, or I’m going to be late.” I jumped off the stool and headed toward the door, grabbing my coat. He didn’t say anything as he took it from me and held it open. Alistair met us at the door, and we rode to Tea Lites in silence.
“Are you still interested in the charity ball this weekend?”
I turned towards Grayson. “Of course, I would love to go. I know how important it is to you, and I think it’ll be fun. Besides, I’ve been dying to kick your ass in poker.”
He smiled, pulling me into his lap. “Baby, lots of people have been dying to kick my ass in poker, but I’ll go easy on you. In fact, I’ll even give you some very personal one-on-one lessons that involve you naked and your cunt dripping.” I immediately blushed as I gazed toward the front. Alistair kept staring ahead. “He’s paid not to listen,” Grayson assured me. We slowed in front of Tea Lites. “I have a lot of meetings today, so I may not see you until late afternoon.”
I nodded. “That’s okay. I’m sure I’ll have plenty to do to keep myself busy. I need to find out the status of my apartment anyway. You don’t think it would take this long, do you?” I looked up, and noticed he wasn’t paying attention to me.
“You’re here. Remember, Luke will pick you up, okay?” I nodded as my door opened. I gave him a chaste kiss, but before I could back away, he gripped my head and deepened the kiss further.
“I don’t do small kisses,” he growled in my ear. We were both breathing heavy, and I swore, if Alistair wasn’t standing there with the door opened, I would’ve jumped him right then and there.
“Noted. Enjoy your morning, Mr. Mandrake.”