by Marie Skye
"Emmalin, look, I can call the police and file charges against him. They'll send him away, and you'll be safe."
"Tyler didn't kill my stepfather… I did."
I wanted to say I didn't hear her right. But I did. Before I could say anything, she spoke again.
"Did I ever tell you why Tyler always calls me Willow? Because when he first met me it was under a willow tree. I would sit there for hours and hours because I felt like it kept me safe from the world, with the amazing shading it had. It was beautiful. I thought no one could see me, but Tyler did. One day, he came over and asked my name, and I wouldn't speak. I just sat there humming. He told me he would call me Willow since I was always under the tree. That tree was my escape, and I would stay there until the sun went down. I hated the sunset because I knew I had to go home. I remember walking home with tears in my eyes every day because I didn't want to go. My mom had died a few months prior, and my dad, well stepdad, he was missing her, I guess. I don't know. Some nights were okay. Most of them weren't. It was always when I was sleeping. So I would never sleep, because if I didn't sleep, then he couldn’t hurt me.
“I would fight sleep every night. I would tell myself to sleep just ten minutes. Just ten minutes, and it will all be okay. I would almost always wake up, unable to breathe because he was pressing into my back, ripping my underwear off. He was always too strong. I fought him, but it never did any good. Sometimes I was just too tired from exhaustion and I couldn’t fight.
“Every day after school, I would go directly to that willow tree and sit. Tyler began showing up every day, too. He would bring me food. He would ask me questions, but I never spoke. I don't know why. One day, Tyler slipped a piece of paper in my hand. It was a phone number. He said, ‘If you ever need me, I'll always come.’
“Two days later, I called him. He answered the phone, and I couldn't speak. I just remember holding the phone and crying. I finally heard him say, ‘I’m on my way.’ I don't know how he knew it was me or where I lived, but he showed up. I honestly don't even know how he got in the house, but when he found me, I was in the kitchen. Covered in blood. My stepfather was on the ground a few feet away, lying in a pool of blood. I don't even remember Tyler taking the knife from me. He carried me upstairs, placed me in the shower, and helped me clean up. He grabbed clean pajamas and told me to lie down. He told me that none of it happened. That I didn't do anything wrong and that I didn't hear anything. He kissed me on my forehead and shut the door.
“Tyler took the rap for me. He confessed to doing it. At first, I thought he did do it because I had strategically placed the entire incident out of my mind like it never happened. It wasn't until two weeks later that I was doubled over in pain and bleeding heavily. I was rushed to the emergency room, where I was told that, at nine years old, I was having a miscarriage. I remember shouting that I had never ‘done that’ with a guy. After an examination and them seeing tears and the bruising, it was determined that I had in fact been raped. They said I was so traumatized that I somehow blocked it out. I lost a baby at nine years old. I think a part of me was sad because it was something to love me. After my mom had died, I didn't think anyone could ever love me or want to. So no, Tyler did not kill my stepfather. I did, because I got tired of him raping me."
The blood had drained from my face. I sat with my head in my hands. The woman I love just confessed to murder.
"I'm sorry I don’t deserve you. I'm sorry I don’t deserve us, but we both know we can't do this anymore.”
Then I heard a click. I didn’t know how long I sat there. When I finally looked up, she was gone, and I didn't stop her.
Five days. It had been five days since Emmalin walked out the door. She had just told me her entire life story, and I was sitting there with my head in my hands trying to… well, fuck, I didn’t know what I was trying to do. Take all that shit in. Listen to the girl I love tell me why she's so fucked up in life and why she's incapable of being with anyone. I was too fucking busy trying to process what she had said before I realized she was gone. It couldn't have been more than thirty seconds. I just remember flying to the elevators, running outside, looking both ways, and shouting her name. My screams were lost in the crowds.
I immediately called Jack to back off from Tyler. I got in my car and drove to her apartment, hoping to see her on the way. She never arrived. I looked everywhere, including the café she worked at, where I demanded Caleb call me if he saw her.
I eventually ended back at my apartment. Thursday came, and she didn't come into work. I stared at my phone, hoping and willing it to light up with her name. I left and backtracked to her apartment and to the café. Caleb once again said he hadn't seen her. I threatened him that if he were at all lying to me, I would make sure he would never see the light of day.
I needed answers, and the only person who was going to give them to me was Tyler. Luckily for me, Jack was still keeping track of Tyler, so finding him was easy. It was Thursday night, and Tyler was coming out of a bar with his arm wrapped around a girl. It wasn't Emmalin.
"Tyler!” He stopped and swung around before glaring at me and continuing on. "Just five minutes, Tyler… please.” He turned toward the blonde and whispered something in her ear. She giggled before walking back into the club.
"What do you want?"
I took a deep breath and stepped forward. "Have you seen her?"
He stared at me before asking, "She told you?"
I nodded and Tyler shook his head.
"What happened, Grayson?"
I ran my hands through my hair. "I don't fucking know. She just… she's gone, and I need her back, okay? Have you seen her?"
He shook his head. “I haven't seen her."
I sighed, feeling defeated, and began to walk away.
"But she called.”
I paused and instantly turned back to him.
He spoke again. "I told her I wouldn't tell you, and I won't. But know this, she's never been this way before. Do I love her? Yes. Would I do anything for her? Yes. Would I change anything about that day? Yes. I wish I would've killed the son of a bitch instead of her if it meant she didn't have to live every day with the guilt of it. Would I take the fall for her again? Abso-fucking-lutely. Do I hate that she is with a pompous asshole like you? Yes. I know she'll never love me the way I want her to, and I accept that. But I see how she is with you, and it's something I've never seen before. She has that spark with you, and there was only one time in her entire life I've ever seen that spark. The day that son of a bitch stopped hurting her. She was free. And you free her."
He took a step closer.
"She had so much guilt. She tried…" His voice faded. "She tried ending it. She stopped taking care of herself. Even now, she still has some of those traits.” He paused before saying, "Look, I don't know what's going to happen, but I do know she's safe. I don't know where she is, but she's safe. Give her time.” With that, he turned and walked back into the club.
Monday
I had all but called every security firm I could think of. I hadn't slept. I barely ate. What I did eat tasted like shit. I was barking out orders to Chace, while he tried to reassure me. I was about to file a missing person report when Emmalin walked in the room, went straight to her old desk, sat down, and powered on her computer as if she'd been there every fucking day.
Chace looked from her to me and quietly said, "I'll catch up with you later," before leaving the room and shutting the door.
My eyes never left Emmalin. "Where were you?" I said in an eerily calm voice. At that moment in time, I didn't know if I was angry or relieved to see she was still here and didn't run off somewhere. She didn't answer and started opening the files that were on her desk. I took a step forward. "I asked you a question.”
She took a breath before answering. "I thought I would at least show up for my last few days," she said quietly. Still not looking at me.
Walking over to my desk, I called Glenda on speaker.
"Glenda, cancel my
week.”
She began to speak, but I had already hung up. Emmalin still wasn't looking at me, but I was looking at her. She was paler since I last saw her and a hell of a lot skinnier. Even though she was trying to put up a brave façade, I knew and could see right through her. At that moment, I knew what I had to do.
I marched over to her desk, grabbed her by the arm, and guided her to the door. She started to protest, but before she could, without looking at her, I told her, "We can do this your way or my way, but I assure you, it will be done, and it will be done right now. You will not fight me on this."
We left the building with Glenda trying to get my attention, but I kept going. The expression on my face told anyone and everyone not to fuck with me. We kept walking right out the front door to my car. I opened the passenger door, made sure she got in, and then I got in the driver’s side and drove away.
We rode in silence. I understood at that moment, he wasn't to be questioned. I couldn't even look at him. I think a part of me was scared, but another part of me was calm. I didn't comprehend what was going on. I just knew we were driving, and the next thing I saw we were out of the city. I started to worry and observed my surroundings, still not wanting to look at him. I didn't think to ask where we were going. For all I thought, we were going somewhere where police were waiting for me. It was quiet. So dead quiet.
Then I heard a quiet voice say, "Breathe.” Just hearing that word soothed me like it always did. I felt myself relax a little.
An hour later, we pulled up to my home just outside the city. I didn’t come here often enough. I forgot how relaxed I was when I did. It was calming. It was beautiful and so serene. I’d never brought anyone here before. There was never anyone I cared about enough to bring here. Until now.
I opened her car door, guided her out, and quietly led her to the door. She was a bit hesitant, but she still trusted me, which was good. We entered the house, and I walked past her to place my jacket on the chair. I went over to the bar and made myself a bourbon and downed it before taking a deep breath. The time it took for a quick drink was all I needed.
Turning, I found her still standing in the middle of the room appearing scared. She was finally looking at me. In her eyes, I saw uncertainty, fear, and loneliness. Slowly, I walked toward her. Her breathing began to pick up. She didn't know what was going through my mind, and I didn't know what was going through hers. For all she was thinking, she could've suspected I was going to harm her in some way. My heart broke at the thought of anything like that ever crossing her mind.
I stood directly in front of her. Close. So close we were practically touching. Then I put my arms around her and held her tight. For that split second, she didn't know what was going on, and I felt her flinch. I wasn’t sure what she expected from me. To yell? Anger? I don't know, but I knew she wasn't expecting this. After her brief surprise, she relaxed and began to cry. She cried hard. She cried for her pain. She cried for her suffering. She cried for her abuse. She cried for her mom. She cried for the baby she lost. She cried for being alone all those years. She cried for Tyler, and lastly, she cried for herself.
I carried her into the bedroom and held her. She eventually fell asleep, and probably for the first time in years, she slept, and I didn't let her go.
I woke to a familiar scent. A comforting scent. One I’d grown to love. I looked up to find Grayson watching over me, holding me tight. Memories of the week leading up to now came flooding back to me. It made me exhausted just thinking about it.
"You need to eat something. I'll be just a minute, okay?”
I nodded and watched him leave the room. I got up to use the restroom, and when I came back, he was setting a tray down on the bed. Tomato soup and grilled cheese with tomato. I smiled. He remembered me saying it was the best comfort food.
He watched me eat, making sure I cleared my plate. Then he took the tray away when I was finished and lay back down with me. I looked at the time and saw it was a little after 2:00 p.m. Yawning, I felt myself drifting off again.
A few hours later, I woke up in Grayson’s arms. He pulled me tighter against him, if that were possible.
“Are you hungry?” he murmured in my ear.
“I just ate.”
I felt him smile. “That was almost seven hours ago. You’ve been asleep for seventeen hours.”
I tried jumping up, but with his grip, I didn’t get very far.
“I can’t believe I’ve been asleep that long.” When he finally loosened his grip, I stood up and then remembered everything that’d happened over the past five days.
"What are you thinking?” he questioned.
I met his eyes. His eyes. They held so much promise. He got out of bed and walked toward me. Reaching out, he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I started to take a step back, but before I could, he grabbed me at the waist.
"Don't walk away," he whispered. "I spent five days in agony, not knowing where you were, not knowing if you were okay, not knowing if you had left the state or anything, and it killed me. You walked out my door five days ago, and I didn't stop you. I don't know why. I've been asking myself that question nonstop, and I don’t have an answer. I was…” His voice faded as he took a deep breath and shook his head.
"I let you down, something I said I would never do, and I let you down. So no more running. Your secrets are my secrets. You'll never have to fight them alone."
I shook my head as the tears fell. "I can't ask you to do that, Grayson. I'm a mess. I'm all sorts of fucked up, you know that. You saw that. I won't drag you into this. It's for the best. It's what we both need.”
Reaching up, he wiped a fallen tear. "Well, that's not acceptable to me, because what we both need is standing in front of us. The person you need is right here in front of you. When I said I loved you, I meant it, Emmalin Ross. I love you, and I will protect you. Now and always. So get used to it."
I watched her carefully the rest of the week, not wanting to be away from her for more than a few minutes.
“How long do you plan on following me?”
I looked up from the book I was pretending to read and found Emmalin staring at me. “What?”
She sighed. “Grayson, I love you, but you’re driving me crazy. I’m fine. I’m not going anywhere.”
I knew she was fine; I just didn’t want her out of my sight ever again.
She stood up. “I’m going to explore the grounds.” I went to follow, and she abruptly turned. “Alone. Besides, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were security cameras hidden everywhere. You could spy on me that way.” She left the library, grabbed her coat, and went outside.
Okay, even I knew I was being ridiculous.
While she was out, I got some work done and arranged dinner. She came back an hour later, rosy-cheeked from the cold.
“How was your outing?”
She smiled. “It was good to have some fresh air, and I needed the time to think. What did you do?”
I closed my laptop. “Work. We sponsor a trip for about twenty kids from children’s hospitals to an amusement park. Some of the beds in my hotels aren’t suited for them, so they’re replaced with hospital beds. I was making sure we had everything situated.”
She studied me quietly. “You surprise me.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I just never expected any of this from you. You focus more of your company on the local communities, charities, and the kids, and it seems expansions are just a bonus.”
I nodded. “It is; at least to me, it is. I think the loss of Carmen and the baby just put things in a whole different perspective for me.”
We were quiet for a few minutes.
“You would make a great father, Grayson,” she whispered, quickly wiping away a tear and standing up. “So, what did you want to do for dinner?” She did a horrible job at trying to sound excited.
“I have that all taken care of. We have guests joining us, if that’s okay.”
Her eyes lit up. “Good, I wa
s beginning to wonder if I would ever see other people again.”
I pulled her toward me. “Get ready. They should be here in about an hour.”
I soaked in the tub, relaxing my muscles, to some soft tunes and then quickly changed the tempo to some Halsey as I got ready. I was doing some strong, epic lip-syncing to New Americana when I heard laughing in the doorway.
“Oh no, don’t stop on my account.”
I rolled my eyes. “Can I help you? You’re interrupting my concert.”
Grayson walked in as I finished putting on the final swipe of my mascara. “You smell delicious.” He looked me up and down. “I like your dress… oh, and dinner is ready.”
“Great, I’m all done here.”
He grabbed my hand and led me from the bedroom to the living room. I heard music and voices and stopped when I saw who was there. Tyler. I glanced from Grayson to Tyler, and my heart stopped. I ran to him and felt the tears fall.
“Hi,” I whispered.
“Hey,” he whispered back. I glanced back at Grayson, who had walked up to us and was smiling.
“What, you guys are best friends now?” I asked in confusion.
Grayson laughed. “I would say we’re more cordial.”
“Emmalin, there’s someone I want you to meet.” Tyler gestured to a petite woman who had been standing off to the side. “This is Molly, the one I’ve been telling you about.”
I instantly liked her and I gave her a huge hug. “Molly, it’s so nice to meet you finally. Tyler has told me so much about you, so it’s great to put a face with a name.”
As we ate and drank, I learned Grayson had hired Tyler on with the company, which he was excited about starting. After several hours, we all said our good-byes.
I smiled. “I can’t believe you hired him.”