Another half an hour on the phone and I'm in tears, bawling my eyes out to Raven like I just had my heart broken for the first time all over again.
Which, ironically, is what Norma called Raven to talk about that triggered this entire fiasco.
Another hour later and I'm sitting in my living room, curled up on the couch, cocooned in a blanket with a mug of hot tea while the sky outside dumped sheets of rain on the city.
I'm not sure how I feel now.
Cold, yes, but I'm not sure if that's because the storm rolled in while I was on the phone and the temperature in the apartment dropped quickly before I turned up the heat, or if it's the emotional cold of having been so close to my goal and my happily ever after only to have it dashed to pieces by a woman who hasn't even spoken to me since I was 12.
Well, 14, I guess.
I don't really remember all of the incident that Raven just relayed to me but now I remember who Mrs. Sloe was and why Norma was asking if I remembered taking her class in 7th grade.
I remember going to the nurse's office with a bruised arm and telling Nurse Wilkerson what a jerk Charlie Nelson was and how he was always mean to me. And I remember Norma telling me it was because he liked me.
Except she didn't say it like that. That's how adults always explain boys being mean to girls at that age.
Norma told me that not all boys would be mean to me to show me they liked me. That some boys, like Charlie, didn't know how to deal with their feelings. That sometimes that would change as they got older and they understood those feelings better-- but some boys would always be mean when they liked a girl.
I remember being confused as hell about what she was telling me. To a young girl with a bruised arm, everything she was saying sounded stupid as all hell.
Why would any boy think that hitting a girl would make her like him back?
That was insanity.
Norma agreed with me, but she warned me that I needed to decide how to react to the ways boys would show their feelings for me. Because some boys would seem mean at first because they were afraid of rejection, some boys would would always be mean, and some boys would think I was the one being mean.
Looking back now, I probably didn't remember the conversation because it was a little over my head at the time.
It wasn't the last time a boy punched my arm or hit me over the head with his math book or even threw rocks at me. It wasn't the last time a grown up laughed about it and told me it was because that boy "liked" me. It wasn't even the last time Charlie Nelson got the last word.
Now that day, I do remember.
I didn't remember going back to see Norma about it though. Not till Raven relayed Norma's version of the story.
Now I'm sitting on the couch, watching the rain run off the roof outside, and playing through my own version.
I was just barely14 and I'd spent the entire summer vacation with that very same Charlie Nelson glued to my side. He was the first boy who kissed me, the first boy who felt me up, and the first boy who broke my heart.
It was the beginning of 8th grade and I remember walking around the corner of the Math building and seeing him kissing April Jansen.
It wasn't even that he was cheating on me that hurt so bad, it was that he'd always told me how much he hated her.
She was his mom's best friend's daughter and they'd grown up together since they were 4.
April was everything I wasn't, with dark brunette hair that fell down to her waist in thick waves, pale blue eyes, and perfect skin. She was the same age as I was but she already had a rockin hour glass figure.
I thought she was beautiful and I was always jealous when I found out she'd been over at Charlie's house swimming that summer. Especially because he never invited me over when she was there.
But he insisted that he didn't think she was pretty. He always said she was gross and that she was ditzy and it drove him crazy but his mom made him hang out with her because their moms were friends.
He said he didn't want to invite me over when she was there because he was embarrassed to have to be nice to her and he didn't want her to feel bad about having to see how much prettier I was and how much better I looked in my bathing suit.
What can I say? I was 14. What did I know about this stuff back then?
So when I saw him kissing her up against the wall of the math building between classes, it wasn't just that my boyfriend was cheating on me, it was that he was doing it with a girl he always told me he didn't even like.
Everything I knew came unraveled that afternoon.
I ran to the nurse's office with fake cramps so I could avoid having to go to the class we had together. I faked cramps for 3 days before Norma finally convinced me I was going to live through the rest of the semester, even if I had to see Charlie Nelson every day.
I barely remember that, even after Raven filled me in on how Norma remembers it vividly.
Now I have Norma to thank for ruining everything, even though my match-maker insists that her interference probably just saved me from a failed marriage down the road.
Blake
It's for real this time.
I only asked everyone about a thousand times before I took them seriously after the false alert I got back in March.
This time it's for real.
I've got a match. A match that reciprocated.
I've got a match...and a date.
A date with my future wife.
Shit, I'm nervous.
Tim's along to play chaperon and I swear I'm rethinking my choice for team members now. Thankfully, he brought his wife, Evie, along and she's doing her best to keep me from killing my cousin.
I'm not sure how this works. I asked Raven about a million questions when she told me I finally got to meet my bride to be.
Like, are we engaged already? I mean, I get that we're not obligated or anything. This first meeting is sort of a final interview before our match maker and our teams are off the hook and me and my match are on our own. But-- if the date goes well, do I propose tonight? Do we wait till we report back one last time?
I have no idea and Raven wasn't a lot of help. She says she's had clients do it every which way, including getting married on their first date.
So I got a ring just in case.
My fingers tap the velvet box in my pocket lightly, just to remind myself it's there.
Evie touches my upper arm lightly, patting me reassuringly and then letting her hand rest there while we wait for Tim to check in with the hostess at the restaurant.
"They haven't gotten here yet," he says when he joins us back in the lobby, "why don't we grab a seat in the bar while we wait?"
Evie clears her throat.
"Oh, riiight," Tim corrects himself, "well we can just wait here in the lobby then."
Raven has a no alcohol on the first date rule. That made perfect sense when I was going over the initial application back in January. Now it sounds like a stupid fucking rule. We're not some high school kids going out to prom, we're grown ass adults...and a drink right now would go a long way to keep me from climbing out of my own skin.
"It'll be fine, Blake," Evie tells me in that sympathetic voice that only women seem to have.
"Yup, fine," Tim grins."You're gonna love Courtney."
I better. I'm planning on marrying her.
I think.
I mean, they told me they found the right girl for me once before too and that didn't end up happening at all. What if this is just another false alarm? What if the woman the guys picked out for me last time really was the right one for me and this Courtney is their best second choice?
Worse yet, what if I'm not the right guy for her?
My guys spent months talking with other teams, narrowing down their first choice. This Courtney chick just showed up out of nowhere. All of a sudden.
Like, Raven just threw this woman into the mix with the new batch of potential matches a couple weeks ago with no real warning.
Next thing I kno
w, I'm getting calls from this woman's mom and best friend and then every one goes radio silent on me and I'm out of the loop.
Just like that, I get a call from Jessica saying everyone's excited about my match.
But it wasn't until I had to work out the details for tonight that shit got real.
I've got no idea what to expect, I just know that in about 15 minutes I'm going to be sitting in front of the woman I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with.
Tim hasn't told me jack shit about her yet, the best idea I have about Courtney is from her own team.
Her mom's pretty cool. Reminds me of my own mom, about the same age, kinda down home, is real close to her kids.
Kelly is Courtney's best friend. She's a tall, blonde, no-nonsense type in a business suit. Very intimidating when she wants to be. She made no bones about letting me know that she was not a big fan of the idea of this modern version of arranged marriage and she gave me the third degree about why I would decide to go this route over meeting a girl any of a dozen "normal" ways and courting her "appropriately."
Shit, Kelly was scary as fuck when I first met her. I thought she hated me.
It was a hell of a shock when she was the first one to tell me she thought I was the right guy for her friend.
But it's Norma that greets me sweetly as soon as she sees me standing in the lobby as she walks through the door.
"Blake!" Her voice is unmistakable and as soon as I see her smiling at me, I immediately feel better.
The short woman with the cat-eye glasses reaches her arms up to give me a hug like we're old friends.
I guess I kinda feel like we are at this point.
Norma's the only member of Courtney's team that came out to meet me in person. She spent a couple of days having me give her the fifty cent tour of my town, seeing where I live and where I work.
She's an odd character that doesn't fit with Courtney's mom and friend, but I feel really comfortable with her.
"You ready?" The petite woman whispers in my ear as she hugs me tightly for just a second.
"I don't think it matters if I am or not at this point, does it?" I answer with a nervous laugh.
Norma's eyes twinkle a little as she steps aside to give me a clear view of a slim blonde woman hovering near the hostess station.
I feel my throat work in a hard swallow as I take her in.
"That's her?" I whisper at Norma.
I get a slight nudge in the blonde's direction in answer.
Kelly and Mrs. Barnes are deep in conversation with Tim and Evie, doing the introductions thing to get Evie caught up on the who's who.
It's not that Courtney and I have been forgotten, it's just a lot going on all at once, with pretty much everyone here already knowing each other except for the bride and groom.
While I wait for the immediate flurry of greetings and introductions to die down among us, I take a minute to study the woman I'm supposed to marry.
She's not what I expected at all.
Courtney's best friend is such a strong personality, I expected a more outgoing personality. And her mom is short, with graying hair that looks like it was probably a pretty average shade of dirty blonde back in her youth.
Mrs. B reminds me of my own mom-- all crow's feet and big smiles with a little extra padding to show for years of sharing good home cooking with her family.
The blonde that's making her way through the group with hugs and hellos while nervously avoiding getting caught looking at me is a few inches taller than her mother. I'm guessing about 5 foot 7 not counting the heels.
She's got a slim figure with a long waist. Not many curves, with small tits and narrow hips.
Her hair hangs just above her shoulders in one of those fringey sort of bobs with waves in it like she had it in pigtails all day. It's a pale blonde color and I'm sure it's high lighted but it looks like it really is a lot lighter naturally than her mom's hair.
She looks a little city to me, in a black dress that fits her tight and makes no secret of what to expect to find under it when it hits the bedroom floor and a pair of those high heels with the red bottoms.
A little city, and a lot of maintenance.
Not what I was expecting, and definitely not what I had in mind.
"Blake," Kelly grabs my elbow and pulls me away from the safety zone I'd established on the other side of Tim, "this is Courtney."
Her other hand reaches out, catches Courtney's off guard and yanks-- gently, but it's definitely a yank-- her friend toward me.
"Hey."
I sound like an idiot and I know it.
The woman I'm supposed to marry looks up at me through a fringe of bangs and pulls her eyebrows together. I can see her jawline sharpen at she clenches her teeth and all that pretty lipstick she's wearing draws down in a confused frown.
Her eyes are lined with a lot of black shit that my sister would call "dramatic."
She looks great. Done up real classy and not cheap at all. It's just that I have no idea what she really looks like under all that war paint.
"Sorry," I stammer out apologetically, hoping for a chance to make a better first impression, "I can be a little slow but don't let the dumb ox thing scare you outta marrying me."
And then she smiles.
Her head tilts back so that she's really looking up at me and I get a look at the sparkle that flickers in her warm brown eyes. Her lips part as the smile slides across her face and deep dimples appear in her cheeks.
Her hand rises and delicate fingers swipe a strand of hair off her cheek.
"I don't scare that easily."
Her voice is deeper than I expected. Not manly. Not husky. Warm. Soft. Sultry in a way that suddenly draws my attention to the way she presses her lips together and licks them unconsciously to wet them.
All of a sudden I forget there's anyone else here with us.
I forget that I'm on my first date with a woman I've never spoken to before.
I forget that I'm supposed to be nervous about whether or not we're really meant for each other.
Right now, as I look down at the friendliest smile I've ever seen on a woman, I know none of that matters.
This is the woman I'm going to spend the rest of my life with and the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life is walking beside her as the hostess seats our party, without putting my arm around her like she's already mine.
Courtney
I can't believe they just left me standing at the door of this place by myself.
Kelly and Norma both run ahead of me as soon as they see familiar faces. There's some hugging and some excited chatter as everyone reunites and gets introduced to Tim's wife.
Everyone but me.
Somehow I've managed to get lost in the excitement and left behind to find my own way to the party. Which I'm having a lot of trouble managing.
I mean, I know Tim really well now and I feel like I know his wife, Evie, from all the conversations we've had, but Tim's the only one of the guys from Blake's team who's here tonight. My whole team is here, all of them hugging Tim and and meeting Evie, and then fawning all over the guy with them.
My feet feel like they're stuck in concrete. I don't even know if I've managed to move an inch farther into the restaurant lobby.
The man with Tim and Evie is so handsome. For a second I'm just taken aback by the image of him, feeling flustered and giddy and eager to meet him like this was any ordinary blind date.
Then, all at once, realization washes over me.
Oh my God.
I worry I might be sick right here in the lobby.
That's him.
Suddenly I can't look at him anymore.
Because this is not just an ordinary blind date.
This is not some casual set up my friends are putting me up to. This is the first time I'm going to meet my husband. That's the man I'm going to marry.
My hand flies out to grip the back of a chair near the hostess station and I pray I don't look as dizzy as I fee
l.
I wish I hadn't worn the Louboutins.
When Kelly helped me pick out my outfit for tonight, I wanted to look like a million dollars when I showed up tonight. I wanted everything to be perfect, imagining the look on my new fiance's face when he saw me for the first time.
In my head, I saw this going so much differently. I was going to walk in on these sky high heels like a runway model, all grace and poise and dripping with self confidence.
His jaw was going to drop and then his whole face was going to light up and I'd know he was thinking he was the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet to get to marry me.
It was going to be love at first sight.
Norma is hugging the stranger warmly and leading him toward me just as Kelly shouts out our names in a sort of over-enthusiastic introduction as she lunges for my arm and drags me within a foot of the man who's now been officially outed as Blake.
It takes a lot of convincing to force my gaze up to his. Instead of the bold self image I intended to project, I probably look like a puppy in a shelter hoping to be adopted.
My knees are trembling. My palms are sweating. I hope I'm the only one who can hear my heart thudding like it's trying to escape my rib cage.
Through the filter of my bangs I see him staring down at me.
He's gotta be at least 6 foot 3. I'm wearing 4 inch heels and he's still taller than me. Not by much, but enough to make me feel small.
Up close I can smell him. I can't place the cologne but it's suddenly my favorite. It's subtle but unmistakably masculine and it makes me want to lean against him and inhale deeply as I bury my face in his chest.
As I raise my eyes just a little higher, I take in my first real glimpse of the details; the way his hair is cropped short over his ears and around his neck but a tad longer on top with a slight cowlick that makes it fall over his forehead. It gives him a playful look and I think of what it must look like when it's messed up like if I'd been running my fingers through it while we watch TV on the couch after dinner or...I feel myself blushing...but I go ahead and think it anyway.
His eyes are a rich hazel color that reminds me of the maple syrup I have in my cabinet. Warm and clear and...filled with disappointment.
A New Resolution: A Modern Match-Maker Romance Page 6