by Cyndi Raye
He was hoping she would say yes. It was about time to get this consummation over with and she became his wife in everything besides just his name. Unless she was not willing. Then he ‘d wait.
“I. I am not sure I’m ready for, oh, you know.”
Russell took a step closer. He brushed his knuckles across her cheek, lowering his mouth to her ear. “I’m more than ready,” he told her, hoping she’d want to also. He needed to know she would stay when the time was up. He was afraid when she became quiet like this, as if she were planning to change her mind.
“I’m a terrible cook,” she said, not looking at him.
He was so close to her, taking in the smell of roses that drifted from her skin. He smiled when he noticed speckles of flour in her hair. She had been working hard to please him even if the food was bad. “You will learn. One bad meal isn’t the end of things. Come on, lets lock up and go to bed.”
Russell wanted a real marriage. Not one where he had a choice in thirty days. Yes, at first he wanted to do everything in his power so he didn’t have to go through with it, but not any more. Now, he wanted Naomi with him forever. He wanted her by his side through whatever storms and tribulations they went through.
He was in love.
It was too soon to be in love. Wasn’t it?
A banging on the door caused Naomi to jump. She spun around, her eyes wide. “Who would be at the door this time of night?”
“I don’t know. Stay here. I’ll check.”
Russell let his twin brother in. “What’s wrong, Wesley?” The look on his brothers face was filled with worry.
“It’s Ma. She was coming back from Coopers Ridge and something spooked the horse. Her buggy overturned, trapping one of Ma’s legs underneath.”
Russell’s heart almost stopped. He didn’t have time to waste. Whipping his hat from the peg on the wall, he turned to Naomi. “I’m sorry, I have to go.”
Naomi rapped her arms around his neck, pressing her lips to his. “Be careful. I’ll be here when you get back. Let me know if there is anything I can do.”
Russell figured it would be better if she went to the main house. “If you can go to Ma’s place and get her bed ready it will be a big help. I’m sure she can use a cup of hot coffee when we get her home.”
“I’ll go now.”
He turned to give her one more kiss before he went out the door. “Thanks.”
She smiled, yet it didn’t reach her eyes. Naomi cared for his Ma and he saw the worry in her eyes.
Outside, Wesley had both horses ready and waiting. “Where to, Wes?”
“Up the road about two miles. Some of Rusty’s men are headed there now. He said she was going too fast for the turn and the horse lost its footing around the bend. Doesn’t sound like Ma, she knows how to handle that buggy.”
The two rode hell-bent for leather until they came upon the crash scene. The horse was a bit shook up, but the buggy was almost on it’s roof. The men who made it there first had pulled her free from the wreckage.
A large surge of relief went through Russell when he saw her leg intact. Out here, on the prairie, it was hard to find a doctor unless they rode to Wichita Falls or Mill Ridge. Russell would ride all night if he had to if Ma needed medical help.
“Ma?” Russell kneeled by her side. “You hurting?”
She nodded, her face pale. “My foot. Help me up, boys. These men wouldn’t let me up until you showed up. Now, let’s go home.”
Russell picked her up from the ground where she was half-sitting. She was not steady on her feet and when she tried to take a step with her injured leg, she cried out in pain. “I guess it is a bit sore.” She gritted her teeth.
“That’s enough.” Russell picked her up and carried her to the wagon Rusty had waiting. “Thanks, neighbor,” he told the old man.
“No problem. Let’s get her back to the farm.”
Rusty drove the wagon carefully, trying to avoid major ruts in the road. Russell was grateful the old man knew to try not to jar her leg any more than necessary. His Ma moaned every now and again but she was tough. He wished she had a partner for times like this but she never bothered courting anyone else. In the meantime, him and Wesley would take care of her.
Now it was her turn to be cared for. To Russell’s relief the lights were on at the farm house. Oil lamps burned, shining their light through the downstairs window. He was glad his Ma’s room was on the first floor since she may be out of commission for awhile.
He picked her up and carried her inside while Naomi guided them to the bedroom, pulling down the blankets. “Widow Young, I have some coffee for you.”
Without waiting for an answer, she left to fetch the cup of coffee. Russell watched as she busied herself in the kitchen. He stood at the door to his Ma’s room, standing back while Rusty and Norah White were checking Ma’s leg. “How is she?” he asked.
“Looks like a bad bruise or sprain, nothing seems broken,” Rusty murmured.
Nora spoke up, propping a few pillows and placing them under his Ma’s head. “Now you listen good. I’ve sent for Doc James in Wichita Falls. I’m sure him and Nurse Ellie will head out first thing in the morning. Rusty is going to wrap your leg but I want you to promise me you will not get out of bed until the doc sees you.”
“But, there’s so much to do. I can’t stop working for a little sore foot.” Widow Young tried to sit up.
“Nonsense,” Nora told her, shaking a finger at his Ma.
“She’s right,” his wife interrupted, carrying a cup of coffee on a saucer. She placed it in his Ma’s hands. “No pressure on the foot until the doctor arrives. Your sons and I will make sure you don’t do any more damage.”
He was so proud of his wife in that moment. She stood above his mother, looking a bit frightened and yet when she placed her hands on her hips and stuck that cute little chin in the air, he wanted to pull her against him and kiss her.
She was taking charge and his Ma even nodded and took a sip of her coffee.
Nora smiled in the background.
Russell grinned.
Until his wife’s chin went up in the air a bit too far. She tried to step away but tripped over herself. She stumbled and dropped out of sight.
The other ladies in the room gasped.
Naomi’s head popped back up. She stood, brushed off her skirts and gave an awkward smile. “I’m alright. I’ll be right outside if you need me.” She walked out of the room, her chin not quite so far in the air this time.
Russell crossed his arms over his chest, amused, yet curious. For being raised in a wealthy family, she sure wasn’t very steady on her feet. Didn’t they go to some type of school to learn how to be ladies and act proper?
She sure surprised him.
He leaned back against the door frame.
It was going to be an interesting marriage. He had wanted to consummate it tonight but that wasn’t going to happen. Hopefully, soon. He didn’t want to lose her.
Chapter 6
She peered in the mirror by the front door to see how red her cheeks were. Patting them down made her feel as if she were making the embarrassment fade. Every single time she tried to act sophisticated, she wound up hitting her head against something or she’d wind up on the floor.
High society wasn’t for her. She needed to tell him she was a nobody. An orphan. Staring at herself in the mirror, a frown appeared. Now wasn’t the time to be selfish and think about her past.
Widow Young needed her. Her mind made up, she would help take care of Russell’s Ma and then figure out her next move. In the meantime, perhaps her stance on consummating the marriage was changing.
How can she ask him to live the rest of his life with a liar and a cheat? She was cheating him of a lady born of a better class than her. Why hadn’t she seen the truth. An orphan belonged on the streets. Not in a home like this with such loving, kind people.
Naomi didn’t deserve a life like this one. A life like this was never meant for her. It was mea
nt for someone else.
The realization made her sick in the stomach. Tears welled up in her eyes. She excused herself when Wesley came through the front door. “I’ll be right back,” she mumbled then fled to their cabin across the yard. She needed time to get herself together. Russell cannot see her cry.
Naomi spent the better part of ten minutes feeling sorry for herself. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she left the bedroom with a change of clothing. Looking around the cabin, she was determined to stay with Widow Young while she figured out her next move. The longer she stayed in this cabin with her husband, the less likely she’d be able to leave in thirty days.
She would not be the one to condemn him to a life with an unworthy woman. She was tired of going back and forth, one minute thinking she’d tell him the truth, the next moment trying to hide the truth. Sooner or later, she’d be found out and then what? She was a selfish person wanting more than she deserved.
Naomi made sure the tell-tale sign of tears were no longer on her cheeks. She made her way back to the big house and got busy in the kitchen. There were a few dishes to wash up and the floor needed sweeping. At least she knew how to sweep a floor.
Nora said goodnight as her and Rusty left. That left her alone with Wesley and Russell. Both boys were sitting in with their Ma. It was time they got some rest. Naomi took a deep breath.
“It’s time for you two to let your Ma get some rest.”
“I don’t plan to leave her alone,” Russell told Naomi.
“You won’t have to. I was at the cabin for a change of clothes and plan to spend the night here in the rocker by her bedside. You go on, if anything changes, I’ll call for you. I’ll stay here with her for as long as I need to be.” Until I leave, she thought, not saying those words out loud. A sadness rippled through her soul.
Wesley stood. “Thank you, Naomi. You’re right. There’s always work to do. I’m going up to bed. Ma, you tell Naomi if you need us. I love you.” He kissed his Ma on the cheek. She had been dozing off and smiled weakly.
Naomi nudged Russell. “You, too. I’ll be fine here.”
He stood, stretched and stared at her, all in one sleek move. “You sure that’s why you want to stay here?”
“Of course it is, your Ma needs cared for.” He suspected she didn’t want to be alone with him. Please don’t make this difficult! I don’t have a plan yet!
Russell nodded and kissed her on the forehead. “Goodnight, Naomi. I’ll go get a few hours sleep and be back to check on everyone.”
She didn’t argue, knowing he’d be back first thing in the morning. At least she was here, safe from his advances. Yet, she wanted his advances so much. Let’s face it, she never got what she wanted. Hers was a life she hadn’t asked for. Ironically, she got a taste of the good life but that’s all it was, a tease.
A deep sigh escaped Naomi as she sat down by Ma’s bedside. She took a small Afghan and covered her lap, a feeling of defeat and dread overwhelming her.
Naomi had fallen asleep in the chair. She sensed someone watching her but didn’t want to open her eyes yet knowing it was Russell. With her eyes closed, she imagined him leaning against the doorway, his dark eyes on her while she slept.
It almost made her cry out. When he finds out her plans to leave, he’d never look at her again. He’d be angry and hurt, she knew, but it couldn’t be helped. He deserved more.
At least she should try to make use of her time while here. Stirring, she opened her eyes and gave him a smile. He had been watching her with such an intense look it surprised Naomi.
He had to stop this! The way he looked at her made her falter. Made her rethink all of her decisions.
“Good morning, Russell. Your mother is still asleep but I can make some coffee.” At least she was able to do that well.
“No need, I’ve already made some. Come outside with me and have a cup.”
She didn’t want to go anywhere with him. Being alone would only make things worse. Yet, she had no choice, she didn’t want to wake up Widow Young. Nodding, she got up and left the bedroom, pouring herself a cup of coffee and avoiding his gaze.
Outside, they sat in the two rockers on the porch. There was still dew on the ground, patches of fog here and there covering the prairie. The sun hadn’t come up yet, it was hiding behind some clouds. It didn’t look as if it were going to be a nice day.
Her heart was in her throat. Russell had no clue she was about to tell him her plans to leave. She had to wait until his mother recovered but it was so hard to act normal. Whatever normal was.
He took her free hand in his. “I love watching the sun come up. Mostly, I’m in the barn with Dolly this time of morning but I wanted to stop and see how you were doing.”
“You mean how your Ma is doing?”
“No, I mean you. It was hard to sleep last night knowing you weren’t there.”
She was shocked. They hadn’t known each other long at all and he missed her presence already? Wasn’t this all moving too fast? How was she going to break the news to him when he kept saying and doing things like this?
She decided to change the subject and not acknowledge his words. Somewhere in the Ladies Gazette it said it is better to say too little than too much.
She was grateful when a buggy came barrelling down the driveway, leaving a cloud of dust in the air. “It must be the doc,” she said, setting her cup on the table beside the rocker and standing up.
“It’s Doc James and his wife, Nurse Ellie.”
Doc James was a tall, handsome man and younger than she thought he’d be. His wife was quite pretty, her red dress and long dark hair held back in a neat chignon. The doc got out first, then went to his wife’s side to help her out. She kissed his cheek in return and gave him a smile. He was looking at her as if her and Russell weren’t present.
All of a sudden, Nurse Ellie turned and waved. “Hello. Where is the patient?”
“In here,” Russell called out.
The two didn’t waste any time, but hurried inside to Widow Young. They spent the latter part of an hour in the room with the door closed.
Russell paced back and forth on the porch while Naomi got him another cup of coffee. He looked down at the dark liquid with a frown. “What I need is a shot of whiskey!”
“A shot of whiskey won’t help. It will make you numb and not feel anything.” Naomi had seen many men lose their soul drinking whiskey, and other hardened liquor. It was the ruin of many men.
“Exactly. Maybe I’d rather feel nothing.”
She placed a hand on her hip. “Russell Young, you surprise me wanting whiskey this time of morning!”
“I’m sorry, just nervous about Ma. What if she loses her leg or her ability to walk again? Then what? It will kill her, she is not the type of person to be home bound and helpless, depending on anyone.”
Russell was scared. Like a small child, he didn’t want to face his mother may be weakened. Naomi’s heart went out to him. She laid a hand on his arm. “She’ll be fine. Have some faith in her ability to heal.”
“You’re right. I’m jumping the gun, aren’t I?” He leaned his forehead against hers. It made Naomi’s heart skip a beat.
“Yes, Russell. Let’s wait and see what the doctor says.”
Wesley came outside so Naomi stepped back. “Are they still in with Ma?”
Wesley stuffed his hands in his pocket, rocking back on his heels and nodded his head. “They’re taking an awful long time.”
Naomi watched the two brothers exchange worst case scenarios. They truly worried about their Ma and she understood. They had a loving mother all their lives, one who never left their side, provided and protected them.
Her mother had given her up. Same with her father, whoever he was. She’d never known, didn’t ever recall anyone being kind and loving. Sometimes, at night, she’d have visions of a small room cluttered with clothes and a mattress on the floor where she slept with another kid the same age as her. She had to be five, maybe six, it was hard t
o determine. A woman was always in the background but she wasn’t sweet and kind. No. She was angry and sad, her dark blue eyes looking at Naomi as if she hated her.
For many years, Naomi tried to forget those mean eyes staring at her with so much hate. She often wondered what had happened to the other little girl she had shared a mattress with. The girl had blonde hair just like hers. Was she her sister? She didn’t recall. All she remembered was the other girl was there one day and gone the next.
Then, the horrible woman with those ugly blue eyes disappeared, leaving her alone. Naomi had gone hungry for a long time, she remembered, and ventured outside looking for something to eat.
When she tried to get back inside, there were men there, sifting through the clothes and placing things in boxes. They shooed her away, told her the place was abandoned.
Naomi had nowhere to go. She remembered walking the streets and alleys, looking for the blonde woman with the hateful eyes. She searched for her day and night, asking everyone she came into contact with but no one saw her. Then, an older lady took her in, allowing Naomi to stay with her in a hidden place in an abandoned building. The woman taught her how to make it on the streets. She showed her how to beg for money, to steal and stash food to last for days on end.
With the old woman’s help, she learned to live on the streets, dodging truant officers and taking care of herself when she realized she had been abandoned. Then Millie had died, and she was alone again.
When she watched Russell and Wesley together, their concern for their Ma glowing in their eyes, she wished she had that, too. All she had was a dream that had died a long time ago. She wasn’t even sure what the dream was any more.
Now she had to give up any chance of having a normal life because she wasn’t going to ruin someone else’s life. She stared at Russell as he spoke with Wesley, his eyes lighting up when he spoke of his mother. He deserved a real woman, someone decent, without a horrible past. He needed someone he was able to trust.
It wasn’t her. She had lied from the beginning. If he ever found out, he’d never trust her again. It was why she was going to leave here, to go before he found out what kind of horrible person she was.