Christmas at Willowmere

by Abigail Gordon

  ‘Hell!’ he groaned. ‘If I can’t paint I’ll either starve or die of boredom.’

  ‘That is the bad news,’ Glenn told him. ‘The upside of it is that it can be treated with non-steroidal, anti-inflammatory medicines to relieve the stiffness and pain, and drugs like gold penicillin will arrest the progress of the illness. Then, as in all complaints of this nature, there is physiotherapy to fall back on.’

  ‘Whatever you say,’ Alex said dejectedly. ‘Just as long as I can use my hands.’

  ‘We should be able to do more than that for you once we’ve got you on the right treatment,’ Glenn told him. ‘James Bartlett, the senior partner, isn’t here at the moment, but he has left instructions, so think positive, Alex.’

  As his patient nodded bleakly Glenn said on a lighter note, ‘I had time to kill when I arrived in the village last week and saw a watercolour of Willow Lake that you’d done on display in the window of the picture gallery near the church. It was on the same day that Anna Bartlett, one of the practice nurses, had taken me to see her favourite place and I recognised it at once. I’m no expert but I thought it very good, and having met the artist I’m interested in buying it for her.’

  Alex was cheering up by the minute. ‘That would be great. It will keep the wolf from the door so to speak. I’ve had no word from Clare, who owns the gallery, to say that it’s been sold, so it should still be available. Guess what? I’m feeling better already!’

  ‘And you’ll feel better still when you start on the treatment,’ he told him as he printed out the necessary prescriptions.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  WHEN Alex Graham had gone Glenn saw that the first signs of Christmas were appearing in Willowmere. Workmen from the council were erecting a large spruce tree in the centre of the village green and he thought that it would be the first time ever he hadn’t felt alone at Christmas. He would be near Anna, James and the children, only on the edge of their lives maybe, but there nevertheless.

  He rang to ask how Jolyon was before setting off on his rounds and Anna said, ‘He’s rather pale and listless and occasionally the barky cough appears, but nothing like it was in the night.’

  ‘And Pollyanna, how is she?’ he asked. ‘Are there any signs that she might be sickening for the croup?’

  ‘Not so far. I’m still keeping the atmosphere moist and in a few moments am going to give the children their lunch. I’ve spoken with James and he should be home some time this evening, so hopefully we won’t be disturbing you tonight.’

  ‘I was going to say it was a pleasure,’ he remarked, ‘but there is no pleasure in watching over a sick child. I’m just glad I was around when I was needed, that’s all.’

  ‘So am I.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Glad you were around when I needed you.’

  ‘It felt good to be needed by you,’ he said quietly.

  Confused, Anna opened her mouth to reply but before she could speak he said, ‘Sorry. Forget I said that. Take care, Anna. I’ll see you whenever.’

  His call, made from the best of intentions, left her feeling off balance and low of spirits, but she told herself that if Glenn was going to be around for some time, she was going to have to get used to those sorts of feelings.

  When James arrived home the children had just gone to bed and the first thing he did was to go straight upstairs to check on Jolyon, before tucking them up for the night.

  ‘How has he been, Anna?’ he asked when he came down. ‘Jolly looks a bit washed out and is hoarse due to the coughing, but the lymph glands in his neck aren’t up and he seems cool enough.’

  ‘He hasn’t been too bad since last night,’ she told him. ‘The coughing comes and goes. So far Polly hasn’t shown any signs of croup, but Glenn said he’d seen a child at the surgery yesterday who had it, so it would seem that it is going around the school.’

  ‘Yes. You’re probably right, and now I’m going to have a word with him. There’s a light on so I take it that he’s in his room. I need to know if there have been any problems at the surgery while I’ve been away. I won’t be long and when I come back if you want a break from me and mine, by all means have one.’

  ‘There’s a meeting in the village hall at eight o’clock to sort out the arrangements for the various Christmas activities, and I’d like to be there,’ she replied, ‘but first tell me about the funeral arrangements you’ve been making for Aunt Alice. When is it to take place?’

  ‘Saturday, as I had hoped, and there will just be myself and a couple of the staff from the home present. It will mean me being away overnight again, but that will be the end of it. Any other matters regarding her estate I can deal with from home.’

  When he came back from seeing Glenn she was ready to go to the meeting and he said, with the practice still in mind, ‘It seems that everything has been in control at the surgery. It’s been pretty busy, as it is at this time of the year but he and Georgina have coped. Glenn said that Alex Graham has been in for his test results and was pretty devastated, being an artist, but he sorted him out and the guy went on his way feeling more cheerful than when he’d arrived.’ He gave her a gentle push. ‘And now away with you, and don’t rush back.’

  ‘I’ll see,’ she said, and after closing the door behind her hurried down the garden path en route for the village hall, with eyes averted from the lighted room above where Glenn was to be found.

  When she heard the front door of the house open and close behind her she stopped, turned, and he was there, striding towards her dressed in a sweater and jeans and saying, ‘I’m going to post a letter.’ His glance took in the long winter coat she was wearing. ‘It would seem that you’re going further afield than that. Where are you off to?’

  ‘I’m going to a meeting in the village hall about Christmas events,’ she explained. ‘It starts at eight o’clock.’

  ‘I see.’ He pointed to the big spruce in the middle of the village green that the council had erected and which was as yet bare of any decorations. ‘That being the first reminder, I take it.’

  ‘Yes, it is,’ she agreed, ‘and tonight we will be arranging a candlelit service in the church on Christmas Eve, with some of us going carol singing afterwards, and a Mistletoe Ball, just to name a few of our Christmas traditions.’

  ‘Sounds impressive,’ he commented, ‘and a fitting answer to me thinking Willowmere would be dead during the festive season. Can anyone come?’

  ‘Where to, the carol singing, the candlelight service or the ball?’

  ‘I was referring to the meeting.’

  ‘Er, yes, but are you sure?’ she questioned, taken aback at the request, but with pleasure surfacing at the thought.

  ‘Yes. I’ve nothing else planned for this evening. I’ll have to pop back inside for a jacket, though. I was only expecting to go as far as the post office.’

  As they retraced their steps he said, ‘Are you coming back inside? I’ll only be a moment but it is too cold to be standing around outside.’

  She nodded, having just remembered a list of volunteers for various things that she needed to take with her, and followed him upstairs. His bedroom door was wide open as he reached into the wardrobe and when she looked into the room her eyes widened.

  There was a photograph of the two of them on top of a chest of drawers. It had been taken by a student friend of Glenn on his graduation day and it was easy to see that the two in the picture were in love. She had a similar one that had been taken on her graduation day, but she hadn’t been able to look at it after she’d sent him away and it had been at the bottom of a drawer ever since.

  If he’d deliberately left it out, he must have been aware that sooner or later she would see it. So what was the idea? Was he playing mind games after promising not to intrude into her life? She wished she knew, but it would have to be another time when she mentioned it. He was coming out of the bedroom and she thought wryly that she didn’t want to spoil the evening ahead. Every moment was precious.

  T
he meeting was always chaired by the vicar and was usually a gathering of brains, brawn, organising ability and creative talent. The first person they saw when they arrived was Alex Graham, the artist, and then others began to arrive.

  As the vicar opened the proceedings he remarked that they were pleased to see two newcomers amongst them in the form of Dr Glenn Hamilton, who had recently joined the GP practice, and Alex Graham, a talented artist. She couldn’t believe this was happening, Anna thought. Glenn, who’d been more of a town and city person when she’d known him before and had teased her about her love of Willowmere, was involving himself in village affairs.

  James had been watching through the sitting-room window as Anna had left the house and when Glenn had appeared simultaneously he’d smiled a satisfied smile. He’d caught sight of the photograph when he’d gone to talk to Glenn, had drawn his own conclusions and commented that he couldn’t stay long as Anna was on the point of going out.

  He hadn’t known whether the ploy would work but it had, and it proved that his instinct regarding the two of them was right. He sensed the attraction between them every time they were together, but with regard to Anna especially he doubted whether she would ever admit it because of the role she played in his own life, and then there was that other matter that she never referred to but which he knew must be a constant source of anguish.

  Yet she was entitled to a life of her own, a husband of her own, and children, if not biological children, still little ones to love. He cared for her too much to ever want her to miss out on those things. It was Anna’s own sense of duty that was keeping her with him and the children.

  So far he had let her persuade him that she was content, but he had promised himself that if ever she met the man of her dreams he would see to it that she didn’t let love pass her by because of family ties. Maybe Glenn Hamilton was that man, but only time would provide the answer to that.

  When they came out of the meeting into the cold December night Glenn said, ‘You don’t have to go straight home, do you?’

  ‘Not if I don’t want to.’

  ‘So maybe we could call in at the Pheasant?’

  ‘Yes, why not?’ she agreed, and pushed to one side the thought that the more time she spent with Glenn the harder it was going to be to convince him that nothing had changed.

  He could see her face in the light of a streetlamp and thought of the number of times he’d brought it to mind while he’d been away, and now that Anna was actually here beside him he felt as far away from her as he had then.

  Yet she was smiling now as she said, ‘You know, James is really pleased to have you in the practice, and so is Georgina.’

  ‘I note there is no mention of your feelings on the subject,’ he remarked dryly.

  ‘I was the one who recommended you, if you remember.’

  She could have told him that as well as the vote of confidence she’d felt that having him in the practice was better than nothing, which was what she’d had for a long time.

  As they seated themselves at one of the tables in the Pheasant she said, ‘I would have thought you might want to spend Christmas somewhere more upmarket.’

  ‘What, and miss all the goings-on in the village?’ he teased, and then became serious again. ‘I intend to be here. I can’t think of anywhere I would rather be, but I don’t want to foist myself onto you and James and the children. It will be sufficient just to be near.’

  Anna felt tears prick and, not wanting him to see them, turned away. What had they come to? she thought. That Glenn, who’d always been the vibrant, confident one, should be content just to be on the fringe of their Christmas celebrations. She knew that even if it turned out to be a painful pleasure, she wanted him there.

  ‘You are welcome to share our Christmas,’ she told him. ‘It’s a magical time here in Willowmere and I would hate you to be alone.’

  ‘It wouldn’t be the first time if I was.’

  ‘I know. That was then. This is now, and I don’t want to think any further than that. Can’t we just have a lovely Christmas together?’

  ‘Yes, if that is what you want,’ he said levelly, thinking that it would be another memory to add to the list, if nothing else.

  They had just the one drink and then Glenn said, ‘I think I should take you home after you having had so little sleep last night.’

  Anna nodded in reluctant agreement. She could have stayed there for ever, but there was no telling what turn the conversation might take and she had to admit that she was tired.

  So they went out once more into the winter night where the lights of Bracken House were shining out across the village green, and she wished that it was the two of them returning to a home of their own.

  ‘I don’t think we’ll be disturbed tonight,’ she told him. ‘Jolyon seems much better and James is back, so I can return to my own place tomorrow, but he’s going to be away again on Friday night as it’s the funeral on the Saturday.’

  They went upstairs together, each to their separate rooms, and as he opened the door of his bedroom she could see the photograph again. Following her glance he said, ‘Do you remember us having that taken?’

  ‘Yes, of course I do. I’m surprised to find it on display, though.’

  ‘Why? After being sent packing it was something to remind me of you. I haven’t seen yours on view but, then, I suppose it wouldn’t be as you were so keen to make a clean break.’

  ‘So didn’t you have any other relationships during that time?’ she asked, steering the conversation in another direction that might prove just as personal.

  ‘No,’ he replied, observing her with raised brows.

  ‘Not even for ease of the body?’

  ‘No. I had neither the time nor the inclination. What about you?’

  ‘With two small children needing me I didn’t have the time either for the kind of thing we’re talking about.’ She paused, listening. ‘Judging from the silence that prevails at this moment, they are both fast asleep and their father, too, from the sound of it.’

  She sounded chirpy enough, he thought, but Anna was very pale and, touching her cheek gently, he said, ‘Goodnight, Anna. Thanks for letting me into your life again for a little while.’

  Rendered speechless by the tenderness in his voice, she nodded, turned blindly and went into her bedroom, closing the door slowly behind her.

  She should be avoiding those sorts of moments, she thought as she threw herself on top of the covers. The temptation to tell Glenn the truth was overwhelming on such occasions.

  Why had he come back after all this time? she asked herself. Was it out of curiosity to see what she’d done with her life while he’d been away, and on finding that it didn’t amount to much had decided to stay around for a while?

  Since he’d come back she’d become aware of his loneliness and was happy that in some small way she and James, with his offer of employment, were making Glenn feel at home in Willowmere.

  She still had to pinch herself when she thought of how he’d settled into the practice with a minimum of fuss and was obviously enjoying rural health care, and that he was impressed with the lake. Most surprising of all was that he was only feet away across the landing.

  Maybe she should be counting her blessings and accepting him as a friend, but she realised now that she was beginning to want more than that, and it just wasn’t going to happen.

  She heard the church clock strike twelve and, turning her head into the pillow drifted off into shallow sleep.

  By the time James was ready to drive to Sussex again in the late afternoon of Friday, Jolyon had recovered from the croup and so far Pollyanna had not succumbed.

  The moment he’d arrived home earlier in the week he had ordered a humidifier to be delivered to replace the makeshift arrangement with the towels, and it seemed to be working.

  Unless Polly started with the croup over the weekend, Anna would be back on duty at the practice on the coming Monday, and she was looking forward to it.
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br />   She enjoyed working as a practice nurse, even though she’d had her sights set on something higher when she’d been at university. But she was sensible enough to realise that combining the two, working at the surgery and being there for the children when James wasn’t around was an arrangement that couldn’t be bettered.

  At the practice she and Beth got on well. The older woman was always willing to hold the fort if she needed to be with Pollyanna and Jolyon, as had been the situation over the last couple of days.

  Anna also had a good relationship with Georgina workwise, but the attractive doctor kept her private life very much under wraps and Anna felt that somewhere along the line she had known grief of some kind, like James and herself…

  Elaine, the practice manager, was efficiency personified, with a degree in business management, and frowned upon anyone who interfered with the smooth running of the village’s health-care arrangements.

  Single and, as far as Anna knew, not in any kind of relationship, Elaine was a petite blonde in her late forties with a flair for design as well as an orderly mind. She was always active in bringing the joys of Christmas to the village and had been at the meeting the other night.

  So when Monday came Anna would be teaming up once more with the three that she was closest to at the surgery, but before Monday there was the weekend to get through. Most of the time James would be away and she felt down in the dumps.

  On Friday night the children had had their baths and were sitting clean and rosy-cheeked, drinking their bedtime milk, when Glenn appeared in the kitchen.

  ‘How about I make us a late supper?’ he suggested. ‘I thought you might be glad of some company when Pollyanna and Jolyon have gone to bed, even if it’s only me.’

  What was she supposed to say to that? Anna wondered and knew there was only one thing to say. ‘Well, OK, that would great,’ she told him, trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach at the thought of an evening alone with him.

  He’d bought steaks to eat with salad, a sherry trifle from the confectioner’s next to the post office, and a bottle of wine to go with them, and when she’d set the table with the best china and lit candles, Anna went upstairs to change out of the jeans and T-shirt she was wearing.