His Billion Dollar Baby

by Lea Nolan

  The pieces must have clicked together in Carter’s mind. “O-oh.” He nodded as full realization dawned.

  If she could evaporate into thin air and disappear forever, she would. This was the very definition of mortification: bone deep, soul wrenching, and eviscerating. Now that he knew the truth, Carter probably thought she was a reckless, thrill-seeking floozy. Definitely not a candidate for a Mother-To-Be of the Year award.

  She sighed. “I don’t know how to explain it. We’d known each other a bit, and were friendly as therapist and patient, but I never thought I’d see him again after he was discharged from my care. Then, the afternoon before he went back to Afghanistan he came by the office and asked me out. I figured it was harmless, I mean what could possibly happen at dinner?” She placed her hand on her belly. “It turns out a lot more than I thought.”

  Carter’s face hung slack. “I think he knew he was going to die.”

  That yanked her from her miserable self-pity party. “What? How could he possibly know that?”

  “It was his fourth tour. Statistically, the odds were against him. But more than that, I think he must have known, in his gut, he wasn’t coming home.”

  “Why?”

  Carter put down his fork. “The day before he left he stopped by Work It Gear to say good-bye. He’d never done that before. He’d already been to the house to see our parents so I was surprised when he showed up. Ben didn’t have anything specific to say, and we just sat in my office shooting the breeze, but I definitely got the sense he wanted to linger. Like maybe he knew he’d never be back. And then on his way out, he gave me something.” Carter leaned to his side, slipped his hand into his jeans pocket, then retrieved a shiny gold coin. “This is his Service in War commemorative coin.” He handed it to Gwen. On the front were depictions of soldiers from the Continental Army, Civil War, World Wars I and II, and the modern era. The back displayed the US Army emblem.

  “It’s beautiful,” she said, then passed it back.

  “Thanks. I’ve carried it with me since the day he left. He said it represented the two most important qualities in a man: loyalty and commitment. Ben was nothing if not honorable.” He flipped the coin with his fingers as he shook his head. “When he gave it to me, I thought he was being maudlin, but now I realize he was trying to tell me something. This was a going away present. I was just too blind to realize it.” Carter’s eyes welled up and he turned his head to look out the window at the darkened parking lot.

  Gwen reached across the table and clasped his forearm. “Don’t beat yourself up. You had no way of knowing. He had an equally good chance of making it home alive.”

  “I wish that were the truth. I just don’t understand why he was so gung ho. Don’t get me wrong. I get that he wanted to serve his country, but he’d already served three tours. Why did he have to do another?”

  Gwen’s heart broke to see him so hurt. She didn’t have a sibling of her own, but she could imagine the depth of his pain and ached to heal it. “It was a part of Ben’s soul. You can understand that, can’t you? I mean, you’re practically married to Work It Gear. And you’re obviously good at business, it’s got to be your calling.”

  Carter scoffed, the sound was sad and filled with remorse. “Work It Gear was never my calling. It was my duty.”

  “What? Why?” Overcome by the bitterness in his voice, she slid her hand back to her side of the table.

  Carter scrubbed his eyes. “I was the oldest son, the one who stayed behind. It just sort of fell to me to take it on. And since my father’s stroke, well, there’s no other option. Devon helps execute things, but the final responsibility falls to me.”

  “Was there something else you would have rather done?”

  Carter’s mouth turned up into a half-grin. “You’ll laugh.”

  “No, I won’t.”

  He nodded. “Yeah, you will.”

  “What, did you want to be a circus performer or a rodeo cowboy? Because if so, then yeah, I’ll laugh. No disrespect to either of those professions, but you are neither a clown nor a cowboy.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “Okay, then try me. Your secret aspiration can’t possibly be as silly as those. Or what I wanted to be when I was young.”

  “Now you’ve given me an incentive. If I tell you, you’ve got to tell me. Deal?” Gwen nodded and Carter took a deep inhale. “I wanted to go to art school and become a painter.”

  Well, that explained a whole lot. No wonder his designs were so beautiful.

  “I can totally see that,” she said.

  His head quirked. “Really?”

  “Yeah. You knew an awful lot about the art at the Hirshhorn. And the way you re-shaped the stabilizer shoe last week? It was more than a design sketch. It looked like a piece of art.”

  “Thanks.” He flushed and Gwen’s heart skipped a beat.

  “Plus, you use words like maudlin. I mean, who says that? Only an artist with deep emotions.” She chuckled.

  He laughed so hard, he nearly knocked over his beer. “Very funny. But you can’t fault me for having an impressive vocabulary. It’s the consequence of a stellar education.”

  “So why don’t you do it?”

  “Do what?” he asked.

  “Go back to painting. At least as a hobby.”

  He took a long swallow of beer. “Nah, I’m too busy with the business. Besides, I haven’t picked up a brush in years.” He waved off the memories that seemed to flood his vision. “But I give you points for trying to distract me, though it won’t work. A deal’s a deal. It’s your turn. What was your secret childhood aspiration?”

  Gwen strained to find a way to express herself without revealing too much. Carter couldn’t possibly know how hard it was to dredge up these memories and put voice to her most secret longings. To be fair, she’d been the one to bring it up. And, she had promised. She couldn’t back out now.

  “Mary Poppins,” she muttered.

  He grinned. “You wanted to be in a musical?”

  “No. I wanted to be Mary Poppins.”

  “A nanny?”

  How could she possibly explain? “I loved her. She was ‘practically perfect in every way.’ Strict when she had to be, but caring, too, and more importantly, she taught parents how to love their kids. She was my absolute idol. It was one of the only movies we had at the D.C. Home for Girls, so I’ve seen it a thousand times.” Her hand flew to her mouth as she realized she’d let her secret slip. Everyone who’d spent any time in D.C. knew the Home for Girls and what it did. She searched Carter’s face for any sign of prior knowledge or revulsion.

  He stroked his chin. “That’s doesn’t sound strange. In fact, I think it’s pretty nice. It’ll make you a great mom.”

  “You think so?” Her voice broke. He didn’t seem fazed by her admission. Maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe she’d been worried for nothing. And he’d just said he thought she’d be a good mother. “It’s all I want. I know I’m a good physical therapist, but there’s no way it can ever be as fulfilling as raising a child. I want to do this right and set a good example so I raise a good human being. It’ll be tough, juggling everything as a single mom, but I’m determined.”

  “You don’t have to work. Once the paternity is established, the child will be the heir to the Anderson fortune. As her, or his, mother, you can live very comfortably for the rest of your days.”

  The very idea left a bitter taste in her mouth. She shook her head. “No, I can’t. I didn’t do anything to deserve that money. And I’ve got a job that pays me well enough that I don’t need it.”

  He raised his brow. “But the baby is entitled to an inheritance. Don’t you want what’s best for her?”

  “Of course I do. I can’t stop you from setting up a trust she can have after she’s an adult, but I have no intention of using it.”

  “Why?” He seemed mystified.

  How to explain without sounding ungrateful? “I don’t want this child to depen
d on other people’s generosity. As permanent as it may seem, it can disappear in a flash and then you’re left to your own devices. I want to teach her the importance of working hard for what she’s got, to earn something on her own. The only way to model that behavior is to accomplish something myself.”

  He raised his bottle to her. “Then in that case, here’s to accomplishment.”

  Gwen clanked her lemonade against his beer and took a drink. Glancing out the window, she realized how dark it was outside and how few cars remained in the parking lot. “What time is it?” Although it felt like they’d just sat down, it was obvious they’d been there for hours.

  He looked at his watch. “It’s late.”

  She yawned.

  Chuckling he said, “Yup, it’s time to get you home.”

  The drive back to River View was companionable yet quiet. Being with Carter was easy. They had shared a lot during their dinner, more than she ever expected, but for some reason it felt right. She wished there was some way to prolong their evening, but with her growing fatigue that seemed impossible. She was tired and needed sleep.

  When he pulled up to the house, he climbed out of the car and walked around to open her side. “Mademoiselle.” He extended his hand to help her out of the low-slung car.

  Gratefully, she took it. “Thanks.” Once free, he looped his arm around hers to steady her over the gravel drive.

  At the top of the stone steps, Carter turned toward her. “Today was nice.” His blue eyes reflected the chandelier above the threshold.

  Her breath tightened. He was right. It had been the best day she’d had in ages. Because she’d spent it with him. Her cheeks rounded as she grinned. “Yes, it was. I’ve really enjoyed working with you. Even though I barely know what I’m doing, it was fun.”

  “You’re a natural.” He inched closer and reached his hand to brush a few stray hairs from her face. “I liked our dinner.” His lips turned up softly at the edges.

  Her knees turned to jelly. “Me, too.” Her heart skittered in her chest. It was all she could do to keep from launching herself at him. Overcome with longing, her brain clouded, muting rational concern for right and wrong. Suddenly her pregnancy, the baby’s paternity, and Carter’s relationship to Ben were irrelevant. She wanted Carter, wanted to feel him against her, around her, consuming her in every way possible.

  His gaze deepened as he ran the back of his fingers down her jaw. “You are an intriguing woman, Gwen Radley. There’s so much more I want to know.”

  She tilted her head toward his. “All you have to do is ask.”

  With that, his lids shut and he leaned in, placing his lips against hers.

  Chapter Seventeen

  At first, Carter’s mouth was soft and yielding, making it the single most exquisite kiss Gwen had ever had. Then his lips parted, deepening their connection as his tongue found hers. Flicking against her flesh, he nibbled and toyed with her in ways no other man had ever attempted, engaging her desire. His strong hands worked their way around her body, drawing her close. Breathing in his warm, masculine scent, she reciprocated, grasping his broad back, sensing the muscles beneath his jacket. She wanted more, everything, anything, he could offer, but instead of whisking her up in his arms and carrying her off to the east wing to do God only knows what, he wrenched himself away.

  His chest heaving, he took a step back. “I’m sorry. This is wrong.”

  Gwen’s hands flew to her mouth, which, until a moment ago had been in utter ecstasy. Oh God, what had she been thinking? There wasn’t a chance in hell this could be okay on any level. She was pregnant with another man’s baby. How could she have been so stupid? Chastened and embarrassed, tears sprung to her eyes. She nodded. “You’re right. We shouldn’t.”

  He avoided her gaze. “Please forgive me.” His tone was humble and deflated.

  How could he say that? She’d wanted it as much as he did. Shaking her head, she reached out for his arm. “It’s not your fault.”

  Pulling out of her reach he said, “Yes, it is. I should have known better. From now on, we’ll keep it strictly professional. Now that the design is complete, the prototypes should be ready for testing so our paths won’t have much reason to cross.”

  He opened the door and stepped aside to let her in. Stunned, she walked toward the threshold.

  He clutched her arm and peered into her eyes. “I am so sorry. For so many things.” He looked wounded, as if he’d been injured and tormented by lingering pain.

  A tide wave of compassion, confusion, and shame overwhelmed her and a sob leapt from her throat. Unable to speak, she raced past him into the house and up the grand stairs, then charged to her room. After slamming the door, she flung herself on the bed and cried herself to sleep.

  …

  Carter slammed on the Jaguar’s accelerator and sped down the long drive leading out of River View. He had to get away from his pulsing desire and haunting memories.

  At the end of the Anderson’s private street, he turned on River Road and raced toward the Capital Beltway. He needed to drive. Fast.

  Dammit. What the hell was wrong with him? He’d had a perfect day with Gwen. They’d completed the design and biomechanics tests, then enjoyed one of the finest meals he’d had since the falafel cart. The best part was that she’d finally trusted him enough to reveal the truth about her past. After all they’d been through, they’d finally become friends.

  When she admitted her relationship with Ben had been fleeting, he’d nearly jumped for joy. Clearly she was embarrassed, but to Carter, it was a miraculous gift. Knowing that she’d never loved Ben made their growing closeness somewhat permissible, maybe even acceptable. And then she’d let it slip that she’d been in the D.C. Home for Girls. He’d known that from the security reports, but it was obviously a difficult subject and he didn’t press. If she hadn’t been so tired, he was sure they would have stayed longer, talking and laughing, and he would have had the chance to learn even more.

  He wanted to know everything: her favorite food, music, what she liked to do on the weekends when she wasn’t caring for his father and designing therapeutic shoes. In truth, it didn’t matter what they talked about so long as he got to stare into her intoxicating green eyes and listen to the soft lilt in her voice.

  She had looked so beautiful in the glow of that damn chandelier. He desired her. Desperately. For once, his craving was more than physical. He didn’t just want her body, though that would be a pleasure beyond comparison, he wanted so much more. To spend time with her, talk with her, hold her, just be with her.

  Unlike the socialites he’d seen over the past couple of years, Gwen was the total package. Brilliant, charming, funny, and tough; being with her was both effortless and a challenge, the most refreshingly perplexing combination he’d experienced in a long time. And she was beyond sexy. It was all he could do to keep from scooping her up in his arms and carrying her to the east wing and his bed.

  He hadn’t felt this way in a long time. Too long.

  But that was wrong for so many reasons, the most important of which was that he’d been supremely messed up by his ex. Thanks to Deandra, he was screwed up more ways than he could count. Saying he had trust issues was an understatement of glacial proportions, not to mention his disinclination to drop his armor and be vulnerable.

  On the outside, especially to Washington’s gossip reporters and socialites, he came off as a smashing success, the scion of a vast athletic empire. What those gawkers didn’t understand was that he’d assumed the CEO position at Work It Gear out of family obligation, his penance for what his marriage and its demise had done to his father. Despite his impeccably dressed front, beneath the Armani suit, Carter was a sloppy mess. Even if he found some way to convince her to want him, Gwen didn’t deserve to deal with that nightmare, especially with a child on the way.

  That sweet, tiny child growing in her womb. Touching her gently swollen stomach, feeling that flutter of life—it had affected him in ways he couldn’t
explain. Made him want things he couldn’t have. After all this time, she’d finally assuaged his concerns, convincing him she didn’t want a dime of his family’s money, and talking so glowingly about building character and appreciating life for all its little, wonderful things. Damn if he hadn’t looked into her eyes—those gorgeous green eyes—and believed her.

  No, she deserved so much more. Love, trust, security, and stability. Everything he couldn’t give.

  Anger and bile rose as he gripped the steering wheel hard. Green highway exit signs whizzed by as he steered the Jag through the fast lane of the region’s giant circular highway. It was a metaphor for his life. As hard as he worked, as far as he went, he still managed to end up right back where he started, alone and heartbroken.

  The solitude and miles offered one benefit: clarity. Suddenly, the answer was obvious.

  To protect her, he’d have to stay away from her. As much as he hated it, it was the only way to guard her heart from the inevitable pain he’d bring. He scoffed as the irony slammed him like an eighteen-wheeler. He’d started out trying to get her close, to make her fall for him, but now the tables were turned. He wanted to be with her simply for the selfish pleasure it brought him. But even in the darkest corner of his heart, he knew it was the wrong thing to do.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Emerson leafed through the latest copy of Washingtonian magazine. ���Man, this sucks. And not how I like it.”

  “What does?” Gwen asked as she pulled her lunch from the refrigerator in the break room, afraid of what was depicted in the centerfold. Probably a picture of Carter with a tall, leggy blonde. Or worse, twin leggy blondes. Just the thought of him made her chest hurt. She hadn’t seen him in over two weeks, ever since their ill-fated kiss outside River View. For all she knew, he’d been out every night with the visiting Swedish volleyball team. And there were probably dozens of pictures to prove it.