Alec Baldwin.
Marlon Brando. (Well, actually people did talk about it but not as much as poor Kirstie.)
Steven Seagal.
Dr. Marlon Bradshaw sure could cut a rug at seventy-two years old. Ellis’s father’s oldest colleague had spun her across the floor for nearly ten minutes before Ellis cried exhaustion. He reluctantly let her go, telling her that if he was thirty years younger he wouldn’t stop until she was his wife. It made her smile. She would gladly return to this Christmas party next year.
Ellis Garret. Nerd sex goddess.
“Ellis.” Phillipa grabbed her hand as she made her way off the dance floor. “I think we’re going to head home. Can you ask your sister to meet us at the entrance?”
“Sure. I’m exhausted. You nerdy people sure know how to have a good time. I’ll get Mike and we can walk out together.” She paused before she left. “And I’m burning that pantsuit later. This is your last function in that thing. You’re a size four, for heaven’s sake, and you can’t find something a little more flattering?”
“I don’t know why you keep calling my suit ugly!”
“Because it is.”
“Walter!” She sniffed at Ellis and turned to find her husband, who was never more than five steps behind her.
“Yes?”
“Do you think my suit is ugly?”
Walter glanced at Phillipa and then to Ellis. His mouth smoothed into a straight tight line.
“Walter!” Phillipa gasped as Ellis walked away laughing.
She entered the back room where her family had camped for the night and saw only a few people there, including a couple making out at a table in the corner. She frowned, wondering where Mike had gone off to. He was supposed to be watching her bag. Knowing he wouldn’t take it with him to the bathroom, she journeyed farther into the room. The couple making out was sitting at the table they had occupied all night. How the hell was she supposed to look for her bag with two slobbering people in the way? She shrugged. The way the women had her hands gripped on the man’s face, Ellis was pretty sure they wouldn’t notice her at all.
But as she got closer the man seemed familiar. Dark hair. Broad body. Chiseled jaw. He looked like her Mike. The woman wore a black dress. Her hair was auburn.
No. It can’t be. This isn’t happening.
Everything slowed in that moment, including her heart. A physical pain ripped through her. Starting at the pit of her feet, it shot up to her brain until she wanted to scream. She trusted him … but secretly she always wondered if part of him still thought about Dina. She always wondered if he was really ready to devote himself to her. How could a man who never had a serious girlfriend be ready to make such a big commitment?
Mike shoved Dina off him, and she landed inelegantly on the floor.
“What’s your fucking problem?” she shouted at him. “It was just starting to get hot.”
“Are you insane?” he bellowed. “I’m with your sister.”
“Are you, Mike?” Ellis choked.
His head snapped up. He stepped over Dina and reached for her hands, but Ellis pulled away.
“Ellis, don’t.” He grabbed her. “She kissed me. You know I would never cheat on you with Dina.”
“With Dina?” She yanked herself away from him. “Ellis, I would never cheat on you period. That’s what you should have said.”
“I’m sorry.” He shook his head, his expression somewhat like a wounded animal. “But you should already know that.”
“Ellis?” Dina stood up, smoothing her dress over her hips. She had tears in her eyes and for once Ellis didn’t care. Her sister, her only sibling, the person she had always loved more than anything had betrayed her.
“I don’t want to hear it.” She screamed it. The words flew from her mouth, and Dina recoiled as if she had been punched. “Why do you hate me so much? I’ve spent my whole life trying to love you while you’ve spent your whole life trying to make me feel insignificant. You’ve ruined every important thing in my life and I have forgiven you time after time but this time it’s too much. Why Mike? You knew how I felt about him. Why don’t you think he’s good enough for me?” She shook her head. “I don’t want to know the answer. I never want to see you again.”
“Ellis, no!” She rushed forward. “I’m sorry. I love you, but you don’t understand. I—I—”
“Your sorrys mean shit to me,” she spat. “You don’t love me. If you did you wouldn’t be able to do this to me.”
Mike gingerly placed his arm around Ellis’s shoulder. “Baby, let’s go home. You don’t need to be around her anymore.”
“I can’t do this anymore.” Her heart had hardened and slammed shut. She couldn’t take one more heartbreak.
“Ellis, look at me.” He cupped her face in his hand and forced her to make eye contact. “I didn’t kiss her. She forced herself on me. You know me. You know I would never do that to you. With anybody.”
“In my head I know that, Mike.” Her tears started, running down her cheeks and over his hands. “But when I saw you with her I was transported back to four years ago when you walked past me for Dina. I keep waiting for that day to happen again. I keep waiting for you to break my heart and I’ve decided I can’t live like that anymore. It’s not fair to you.”
“No, this isn’t fair to me.” He backed away from her and slapped his chest. “Your reasons are bullshit. You can’t let the past dictate the rest of your life. You can’t let fear ruin a good thing. I’m committed to you. For the first time in my life. I don’t know how else I can prove it to you. But I swear to God, Ellis, if you walk out on us I’m not coming after you. I won’t chase you anymore. You have to trust that I’m not going to hurt you.”
“I can’t. I’m so sorry.” She pushed herself away from him and fled the room. Her parents were waiting by the door, and as soon as they saw her they circled around her.
“What happened?” Phillipa’s eyes immediately filled with tears. She shook Ellis. “Tell me what happened to you?”
“Dina.” She choked on her sister’s name. “I caught her kissing…”
She couldn’t say the rest. Her father took her by the arm and led her out, Phillipa hurrying behind them.
“That’s it,” Walter snapped. “I’m done with her—her bullshit. You’ve let it go on for too long, Phillipa. We are done supporting her. I do not want to see her in my house. Do you understand me? I want no arguments out of you.”
“Walter, she’s my daughter! You don’t understand what she’s been through. I can’t cut her out of my life.”
“Ellis is your daughter, too, and she’s hurt. I can’t stand by and watch it happen anymore. I am taking her home. You make your choice. Are you going to put her first this time or not?”
Phillipa looked tortured for a moment, but she took Ellis’s hand and nodded. “Of course, Walter. Of course.”
*
Mike picked up the nearest glass and flung it at the wall. The glass shattered but didn’t put a dent in his anger. She had no faith in him. How could he have fallen so hard for a woman who didn’t trust him?
“Shit.” Dina walked back into the empty room. “My parents left me here. How am I supposed to get home?” She looked at Mike. “Could you…”
“Go to hell.” He clenched his fist. He would never hit a woman even though this one deserved it. “Don’t you get it, Dina? Don’t you get how big this is? Your sister is done with you. You went too far.”
“No.” She shook her head. “She’s mad but she’ll forgive me. She always does.”
“Not this time. You betrayed her.” He turned away. Walking out was his only safe option.
“I didn’t,” she called after him. “I—I was testing you. I wanted to make sure you really loved her.”
“Bullshit! You weren’t testing me. You were trying to hurt her. I used to blame Jack for her being so screwed up but it’s you. You’re her sister. If you can’t love her how can she expect anybody else to? Do us all a favor, D
ina. Drop off the face of the earth.”
*
Ellis hadn’t been able to get out of bed in two days. She physically couldn’t manage, and she hated herself for it. She hated that she was so weak. When she had dumped Jack she swore no other man would ever have the power to hurt her like this. But Mike had managed to sneak in and steal her heart. It would be a long time before she got it back. If she ever did.
Phillipa crawled in bed with her as she had numerous times since Ellis had begun squatting at her parents’ house. “Do you want to eat, honey? Please say yes. Your father has been outside the door pacing like a madman. He’ll get you whatever you want. He said he’d even drive into the city to get you those bialys you like.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“I know, sweetie.” She smoothed the hair off Ellis’s face and kissed her forehead. “I know you feel like dying. Is it wrong that I’m secretly enjoying your misery because it gives me the chance to baby you?”
“Yes. It is. It’s very, very wrong.” She reached for her mother’s hand. “And I do feel like dying. Why is that?” A fresh wave of tears formed. “I thought I was stronger than this.”
“You’re not weak. You’re devastated and if you thought you could go on like everything was normal after you walked in on your sister kissing the love of your life, you’re delusional.”
“But I broke up with him. I’m supposed to feel empowered, not like shit.”
Phillipa sighed. “I wanted to ask you about that. Why did you break up with him?”
“I should have never dated him in the first place. I knew Dina was never going to be okay with us. He’s the reason we didn’t speak—”
“No, Ellis. That’s not a reason. Mike has nothing to do with you and Dina. She had a hard time accepting you when we brought you home. She hated Walter, and she hated the fact that he loved you so much when her own father couldn’t be bothered with her, and she took it out on you. I blame myself because I tried to overcompensate to make her feel loved and in the process I was harder on you. But you had such potential and I need for you to know that I have always loved you just as much as I love her, even if it didn’t feel that way sometimes.”
Her voice grew raspy as her tears started to flow. “I should have stopped it when you two were little. I’m sorry that she did this to you and I’m sorry that you’re in so much pain now, but you know I can’t throw Dina away. I’m not expecting or asking you to forgive her but I can’t cut her out of my life, even if I’m disgusted with her behavior. She’s my daughter, too, and I still love her.”
“I know, Mom.” Ellis hugged her mother tightly, hating that she was so upset. “I’m not asking you to do that, but I’m done with her and I need for you to respect that.”
“It kills me that my girls can’t get along, but I will respect your wishes. Your father isn’t allowing me to give her any more money and he’s right. I should have made her be responsible for herself a long time ago.” She pulled away from Ellis and stroked her cheek. “I’m going to try harder to put your feelings first from now on.”
“I never felt unloved by you, Mom. I don’t want you to think I did.”
She shook her head. “Then why are you throwing Mike away?”
Ellis froze for a moment. The same thought had snuck into her head more than once.
You’re a big dumb dummy. You shouldn’t have let him go.
“I’m not. I just—”
“You are. If you can give me one good reason to leave him, I’ll never mention it again.”
“He deserves—” she started.
“Not a good enough reason. If you’re ever going to be happy you’re going to have to let your guard down and take the risk.”
Chapter Twenty-eight
“I can’t look at your ugly face anymore, Edwards,” Colin said in disgust.
“Then go home,” Mike retorted, not lifting his head off the couch. It was Saturday night and for the second weekend in a row Mike chose to spend it parked in front of the television with a couple of cold beers and an industrial-sized bag of potato chips. He hadn’t bothered to get dressed that morning, only brushed his teeth to wash the bad taste from his mouth. Colin had taken it upon himself to spend every free moment he had with Mike, hovering over him like an anxious mother hen. It was unnecessary. Mike wasn’t going to off himself. He wanted to be alone.
“No, because if I leave you’ll piss away the rest of the night alone. So what, your girl dumped you like a moldy sack of potatoes. You’ve been walking around like a zombie for the past two weeks. It’s time for you to stop wallowing in your own filth and get back out there and on top of somebody else.”
“I love her,” he said. He didn’t want anybody else but he wasn’t as depressed as his friend thought, either. He was more pissed off than anything.
“I know you love her! Call her, for fuck’s sake. Tell her you want her back. Tell her you’ll do whatever she wants.”
“Not going to happen.” He scratched his new growth. “She walked out and I’ll be damned if I go after her. She should have trusted me.” He had been waiting for days for her to come back, to come to her senses and realize that she was throwing away a good thing.
He’d bought a fucking engagement ring for her. He wanted to marry her. He wanted forever with her. Hell, he still did. He stopped himself from pulling it out of his drawer a hundred times. His pride wouldn’t let him go crawling back to her. He didn’t want his proposal to seem like it was groveling.
He knew Ellis well enough. He knew that she wouldn’t believe a proposal at this point was genuine. So he kept his mouth shut. He was through chasing after a woman who couldn’t trust him enough to be faithful.
“You shouldn’t have kissed her sister.”
“I didn’t,” he yelled. “You know me better than anybody else. You know I would never cheat on her.”
“Yeah well, I also know how you were a couple of years ago. Haven’t you been with more women than you can count? And didn’t she walk in on you as you were about to shag her sister in her bed? Damn it, Mike you’ve got to admit that she had a valid reason to disbelieve you. Hell, she should have never given you the time of day in the first place.”
“She didn’t want to,” he mumbled, disgruntled. Damn Collin. A few words from him and he was ready to throw his principles out of the window. He glanced at his phone as thoughts of calling her entered his mind. He shook the feeling off. She broke up with him. He would not go after her. “I’m not calling her.”
Colin jumped out of his chair and winged the cordless phone at Mike, causing him to wince as it connected with his stomach. “Do it. I know how you feel. Breaking up with the woman you love feels like having your balls ripped off. I couldn’t have Serena back but you can make things right with Ellis. She loves your sorry ass.”
Mike looked at the phone and then back to Colin, struggling with his decision. He knew she loved him, which was why he was having such a hard time accepting the breakup.
“Call her, Mike.”
The phone rang and Mike answered it before he had time to make up his mind about Ellis.
It was Lara. Her words so rapid he could barely make sense of what she was saying. But the message sank in and fear took over.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He stood up and tossed the phone on the coffee table.
“What’s wrong?” Colin stood, too.
“It’s my mother. She’s hurt.”
*
Ellis stared bleary-eyed at her dress form. “If I keep this up I’m going to need glasses before I hit thirty.”
She had been hand-beading for the last three days. The dress looked spectacular; every time she looked at it she was amazed that she could create such a garment. Even though the dress was glorious as it stood, she still had two days of intricate work ahead of her. Audra wanted more beading. She told Ellis that she wanted to blind her guests when she walked down the aisle. Ellis sighed at the request but agreed even though she thought it was
slightly tacky. Audra’s mother was good for business. The woman had gone as far as setting up a meeting with a buyer for a large bridal salon for tomorrow. There was talk of mass-producing Ellis’s dresses for the world. Ellis Garret could be a household name.
It was exciting and happening faster than she could process. It could be life changing, but Ellis wasn’t as over the moon as she expected herself to be. For the past two weeks she had been numb to everything. Her business was booming, she and her mother were closer than ever, and for the first time in nearly a year she wasn’t afraid of not being able to pay her bills. But instead of wanting to shout from the mountaintops she wanted to crawl into bed and fall asleep.
“Ellis.” Colin walked into her office, his face drawn.
Ellis’s stomach dropped to her shoes. She sat down, not wanting to hear what Colin had to say. She knew he had something important to say because her ex-boyfriend’s best friend wouldn’t be here unless he did.
“If he’s not okay I don’t want to know.” She buried her face in her hands as nausea rolled through her. She couldn’t bear the thought of him … not in her life.
“He’s in Buffalo. His mother had a stroke while she was driving and was in a bad accident. They aren’t sure if she’s going to make it.”
“Oh no.” Ellis removed her hands from her face. She was torn between relief that her love was okay and tremendous worry for the most important person in his life. “How is he?”
“How do you think he is, love? She’s in critical condition at Buffalo General.”
He walked out then. His message was unmistakable. She had a decision to make.
*
The slow steady beeps of his mother’s heart monitor were driving Mike insane. Smells of the quiet ICU attacked him. Antiseptic mixed with fear and death plagued his nose. Coughing, the soft murmurs of visiting families, the hushed tones of the hospital staff as they shared grave conversations flooded his ears, and for the past ten hours he had absorbed it all. Somehow it robbed him of the energy to lift his head. So he stared at the space on the floor between his feet. He couldn’t look at her anymore. The woman in the hospital bed wasn’t his mother. The face he could clearly picture in his mind was distorted. Her smooth white cheek was now a deep purple and swollen to twice its normal size. Her head was wrapped in a bandage, sewn up with more stitches than he could count. She hadn’t woken up since he’d walked in the door countless hours ago. Coma. The doctor had told him it was the best thing for her at the moment. The injury to her head was critical, and deep unconsciousness was best for her healing.
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