Caroline nodded her head, “It has improved,” she said feigning a smile. “In fact, I am feeling completely recovered and have decided to join you on your walk. I was just on my way down to join when you knocked at my door.”
Elizabeth smiled. “Oh,” she said somewhat surprised. “Shall we go down together, then?”
Caroline walked over and slipped on her bonnet and shawl. “I think the fresh air will do me a world of good,” she said before leading the way down the stairs.
Elizabeth was now more puzzled than ever. She had thought that perhaps Caroline complained of a headache so she might have an excuse to remain behind, and by chance, encounter Lord Ashworth. If he were someone from Caroline’s past that she wanted to see again, then feigning a headache and remaining at the house would have allowed her to do so. She sighed. Now that Caroline was so willing to go with them, almost eager to go; Elizabeth found she did not know what to think. “I think this evening’s ball will be enjoyable,” she said trying to make conversation. “Mr. Darcy said that Lady Knowles always hosts a very nice ball.” When Caroline did not respond, she said, “I believe you have attended Lady Knowles parties before, have you not?”
Caroline nodded her head, “I have, yes,” she said. “The parties that Lady Knowles gives are usually very nice. I think you will find them to your liking. She is a very well-respected lady and only invites those from the best families to attend.”
Elizabeth smiled, “Well, that sounds very agreeable,” she said, still puzzled by how disinterested Caroline was. “And will you be attending this evening along with Georgiana and Kitty?”
Caroline shook her head. “I do not believe so,” she said. She did not want to chance running into Lord Ashworth. “I believe I will remain at Windham House.”
Elizabeth did not say anything more as they joined Charles, Jane, and Georgiana. She took in a deep breath and sighed. Finding Miss Bingley a husband would be far more difficult than she had bargained for, especially since she would not have the help of her husband in doing so.
Caroline looked up at the tall trees along the path in Hyde Park. They were all so stark in their appearance, having lost their leaves as the weather turned colder at night. She took in a deep breath and thought about how small she felt in comparison to the trees before her. Even though they were entering the middle of November, it was still a rather warm and lovely day. The sky was clear, and there were no signs of an approaching storm overhead. She tried to occupy her thoughts with anything other than Lord Ashworth and the silly things Elizabeth had said to her about finding someone to love. She looked at her brother and Jane as they walked along in front of her. They were so delightfully happy together, that much was clear. Charles loved Jane, and she loved him; no one could deny it. Caroline took in a deep breath and thought about Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth. They loved each other as well. She could see it in the care they demonstrated for one another. She pondered what it was she hoped to have when she married. If she were to marry someone as her sister Louisa had, she would be wealthy; she would have nice things and be invited to all the best dinners and balls; and yet, she wondered if that were enough. Louisa often seemed unhappy with Mr. Hurst. He paid little attention to her and was forever falling asleep. And yet, when she thought of those marriages she had seen lately, such as Lord and Lady Fitzwilliam’s and the Admiral and Mrs. Godwin’s, it was painfully obvious that true marital happiness did involve some amount of love and tenderness. She shook her head as she tried again to push all these nagging thoughts from her mind. She was just about to call out to Charles when she saw him almost run directly into Mr. Fitzwilliam as he came around the corner.
“Fitzwilliam, it is very good to see you here this morning,” Charles said delighted to see him.
“Mrs. Bingley,” Owen bowed his head to her. “Mr. Bingley, it is good to see you both again,” Owen said. “I see you are of the same mind as I am. It was far too beautiful a morning to waste indoors. I just felt the urge to be out walking.”
“That is exactly what I said to Mrs. Bingley only this morning,” Charles replied as Caroline stepped up to join them.
“Mr. Fitzwilliam, how extraordinary it is that we should run into you this morning,” Caroline commented.
Mr. Fitzwilliam nodded his head and smiled at Caroline, “It is nice to see you again Miss Bingley,” he said as he looked into her lovely green-gray eyes.
Jane cleared her throat, “Mr. Fitzwilliam, we were just about to take a turn around the park while we wait for my sister and Miss Darcy to finish their shopping. They stopped into the hat shop just down the way. Would you care to join us as we make our way around the park and then back to meet them?” she asked.
Owen nodded his head, “I believe I would like that very much,” he said as he extended his arm to Caroline. “If you have no objection to my joining you, that is?” he asked her.
Caroline smiled briefly as she placed her hand on his arm and they began walking along behind Jane and Charles. She looked up at Mr. Fitzwilliam and said, “Tell me, Mr. Fitzwilliam, did you know of my brother’s plans to walk in the park this morning, or did you truly just happen to find us?”
Owen shook his head no, “I promise you; I did not know that Mr. Bingley would be here,” he assured her. “The truth is I often walk through Hyde Park in the early part of the morning.”
“Why would you do that?” she asked him. “There is no one here to see or be seen by.”
“I suppose there is more than one answer to that question, but the easiest one is that I sometimes prefer to be alone while I walk,” he admitted.
“Why do you prefer to be alone?” Caroline asked him.
Owen took in a deep breath and considered her question, “Because it allows me time to think of Emily,” he finally told her.
Caroline felt the tugging of her heart once again. She felt sympathy for his loss and found herself wanting to do what she could to somehow ease his pain and sorrow. “Tell me about Emily, Mr. Fitzwilliam. What was she like?” she asked, using his late wife’s given name as he did.
Owen shook his head, “You do not wish to hear about my late wife, Miss Bingley,” he said to her. “I do not think it would be a pleasant conversation for you.”
Caroline furrowed her brow, “Please do not do me the disservice of presuming to know what I do and do not want,” she said in an agitated voice. “I have no desire to be treated like those other young ladies you spoke of the other night. I truly would like to hear about your late wife,” she told him honestly. “If you would like to tell me about her?”
Owen found himself uncertain of where to begin. “I find that I am unsure what to say,” he admitted. “I have not really talked with anyone outside my family about Emily.”
Caroline could not say what had come over her. She only knew at that moment that she wanted to hear what Owen had to share. She truly wanted to know him better and to understand his grief. “Perhaps at the beginning would be a good place,” she offered.
“All right then,” he began to say. He furrowed his brow and looked over towards the trees. “Emily and I were childhood playmates. She was the eldest daughter of my mother’s dearest friend. We grew up together knowing one day our parents hoped we would fall in love and marry, and that is exactly what we did. It was the happiest day of my life when she agreed to be my wife,” he told her honestly.
Caroline could tell by the way he spoke about his late wife that he truly did love her, “What did she look like?” she asked him.
Owen’s eyes narrowed, he found Caroline so very confusing. She was not at all like the other young ladies his mother had been arranging for him to spend time with. “Are you very sure you want to know about my late wife, Miss Bingley?” he asked her again.
She looked up at him and nodded her head. “I do, yes,” she told him. “As long as it does not give you pain to speak of her.”
He hesitated for a moment, then said, “Emily was the most beautiful woman in the world to me. She had long, so
ft fiery red hair that matched her temperament perfectly. When she laughed her eyes lit up the world around her, and I was completely captivated by her smile.”
Caroline was surprised, “Emily had red hair?” she remarked.
“Yes, the most beautiful red hair and bright blue eyes that I have ever seen,” he said softly as an image of her filled his mind. “She had a very agreeable countenance, and there is not a day that goes by that I do not think on her.”
Caroline smiled as she gently patted his arm without thinking. “I can hear it in your voice that you loved her very deeply, Mr. Fitzwilliam.”
Owen’s eye’s narrowed, “Does it really not bother you, Miss Bingley, that I speak of her?” he asked her again.
Caroline thought about it for a moment and shook her head, “No, truly, I do not mind,” she assured him. “In a strange way, I cannot fully explain, hearing you speak of Emily helps me know you better.”
After a few moments, Owen said, “Emily used to love walking here in Hyde Park. We often walked here together before she grew ill.”
“Was Emily of Scottish descent, like Lady Fitzwilliam?” Caroline asked him.
Owen nodded his head, “Yes, she was,” he said briefly giving her a sad smile.
“The way you describe her, I can almost picture her. She sounds like she was very beautiful in both spirit and form,” Caroline said. She found herself feeling somewhat astonished at what she had just said, and yet; she meant every word of it. She was not sure what to say next. Usually, she would find some silly thing to compliment Mr. Fitzwilliam about or pretend to like everything he liked to gain his attention, but she could not bring herself to do it. This time, she decided to say nothing. They walked along in silence for some time, and Caroline found herself enjoying the calm, tranquility of her surroundings. She looked at the lifeless trees and the now dormant flowers that all waited patiently for winter’s first snow to cover them. There was so much beauty here that she had not really taken in until now. She could not explain how very different she felt at that moment. It was as if she were truly seeing things for the first time. “These trees are really very tall. They are magnificent,” she commented to Owen. “Strange that I have never noticed them before. I have walked through this park on so many occasions, and yet, I cannot remember ever really seeing the trees.”
“Perhaps you have never noticed the trees on your many walks before now, Miss Bingley because your view was obstructed by the numerous strangers passing you by with their unspoken opinions,” he commented.
Caroline considered what he said. She knew there was truth in his remark. For so long she had been caught up in what others were thinking of her and judging them in return that she had missed the true beauty that was always there right in front of her. “I think perhaps you are right, Mr. Fitzwilliam,” was all she said as they walked on.
Chapter Eight
Elizabeth helped Genevieve put the finishing touches on Georgiana’s hair. “You look lovely, Georgie,” Elizabeth told her.
Georgiana looked up at her sister-in-law, “Do you really think so Lizzy?” she asked her. “Do you think the dress is all right? It is not too much, is it?” she asked.
Elizabeth looked at Georgiana’s gown. It was a beautiful deep emerald green fabric with bits of gold lace that trimmed the sleeves and around the bottom hem of the skirt. She wore gold gloves and had her hair done up with gold lace and emerald green ribbons. “No, not at all Georgie. The dress is exactly as it should be. I dare say, every young man there will be wanting to dance with you.”
Genevieve cleared her throat, “I beg your pardon, Mrs. Darcy, but if you have no further need of me, then I will go and finish my other duties.”
Elizabeth smiled, “Of course, Genevieve,” she told her. “We have nothing else that we need.” She waited until her maid was gone before she turned to Georgiana and asked, “Georgie, may I speak with you a moment?”
“Of course, Lizzy. What is it?” Georgiana asked her.
“I am not really sure how to even bring this up, but I did notice that Colonel Fitzwilliam seemed somewhat upset this morning,” Elizabeth told her. “Is everything all right between the two of you?”
Georgiana shrugged her shoulders just a little, “I am not sure,” she admitted. “I think my cousin has been out of sorts with me for some time now and I cannot imagine why.”
“Has he given you any understanding as to why he is so upset of late?” Elizabeth asked her.
“No, not really,” Georgiana told her. “He has said that he believes me to be too young to be out in society. He thinks I am too naïve. He still sees me as a child and does not believe me ready for all that comes with attending balls and spending time with eligible gentlemen.”
Elizabeth furrowed her brow, “Why would he think such a thing?” she asked her. “You have done nothing to give him cause to doubt your conduct.”
Tears welled up in Georgiana’s eyes, “That is not true, Lizzy,” she told her. “I was at one time very foolish. I believe he still doubts me because of my planned elopement with Wickham.”
Elizabeth offered her sister-in-law a handkerchief, “Oh, but that cannot be it,” she assured her. “You have done nothing but show great remorse for that past transgression, and you have made amends. Surely he must know you would never behave in such a reckless manner again. He must see that you have regretted what happened and would never consider such actions again.”
Georgiana dabbed at her eyes, “I hoped he would know those things, but I cannot think of any other reason for his behavior towards me. You heard him this morning, questioning my desire to look nice for the ball as if I had suggested taking part in some kind of illicit affair. Truly, Lizzy, I do not know why he is so agitated with me. Only this past week he was questioning my music selections as being too mature for me.”
Elizabeth’s eyes narrowed, “I will admit, Georgie, I find his behavior puzzling as well. After all, it is not as if you would be entertaining gentlemen while unchaperoned.”
“Certainly not!” Georgiana objected even to the suggestion of such impropriety. She sniffled in and gently wiped the tears from her eyes. “Lizzy, do you believe I am ready to come out into society?” she asked her directly. “I know we talked of this before while we were at Netherfield, but having my cousin question me has caused me to doubt myself. Should I wait until I am older, do you think?”
Elizabeth smiled as she walked over and took Georgiana’s arm in hers. She furrowed her brow and considered what to say before speaking. “Georgie, I have been out in society since I was your age and yet I am already twenty and only just married. The truth is, I did not find love in my first season,” she laughed. “Or even my second, or third season, for that matter,” Elizabeth said as they walked to the door to go down and join the others. “It is possible you will meet someone this evening that you like very much and want to marry. It is equally possible that you will not meet anyone in particular that you like at all. I think the Colonel does not understand the inner workings of a woman’s heart. He sees women as most men do; fickle things that do not truly know our own hearts and minds. I am sure in his mind; he believes he has reasons for thinking as he does. However, I would ask; where is his proof against you?” she told her. “You have never displayed the kind of wild behavior that my sister Lydia has. You have never been overly flirtatious or behaved improperly, so I see no reason for his concern in any of this. I believe you are ready, Georgie. Besides, coming out into society now hardly means you will marry soon,” she reminded her. “Coming out into society now allows you time to meet others of the opposite sex under the vigilant and watchful eye of your brother and myself,” she teased her. “And for that, you are more than ready.”
Georgiana smiled as relief washed over her face. “I feel so much better now. Thank you for telling me these things.”
Elizabeth took in a small breath, “You know, it is possible that the Colonel and even William are so used to watching over and protecting you that the
y do not realize how grown up you have become.”
Georgiana nodded her head, “I think you are right,” she agreed. “But how do I show them that I am no longer the overly anxious, frightened little girl I once was?”
Elizabeth thought for a moment, “Well, I think you have already begun in doing so,” she told her. “I think we must be patient with them; and in time, it is possible that they will see you in a new light.”
Georgiana was not so sure, “And if they do not?” she asked.
Elizabeth laughed as her mouth turned up into a smile, “Then we shall just have to be sure that they do, even if we have to tell them so.” She thought about how William had treated her earlier in the day and felt herself getting upset all over again. Comparing her actions to those of her mother was uncalled for as far as she was concerned.
Darcy looked up as Elizabeth came into the room along with his sister. She looked absolutely beautiful. She wore a burgundy red gown with cream-colored, ruffled trim and lace appliques adorning the skirt and sleeves. Her hair was done up beautifully with tiny dried flowers, pearls and ribbons. He made his way over to Elizabeth and took her arm in his. “You look absolutely beautiful, my dear,” he whispered so only she could hear as he guided her away from the others in the room.
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