“Very good, ma’am,” he said as he slightly bowed his head to her and then pulled the carriage further down the lane.
“It is a shame Kitty could not join us,” Georgiana said. “I think she might have enjoyed our walk as well.”
Jane smiled, “I did ask if she might like to come, but she made mention of wanting to work on her new hat she bought.”
Georgiana laughed, “Do you suppose it is the one that she has almost entirely taken apart and is reworking, so it suits her better?” she asked them both.
“Yes, I am sure it probably is the one,” Elizabeth laughed.
Jane laughed. “Kitty very much likes to reimagine how a hat or gown should look. She is always taking them apart and refashioning them,” she told them just as Mr. Fitzwilliam and the Colonel came up to join them.
“Mrs. Darcy, Mrs. Bingley,” Owen called out to them, “How very astonishing to find you all here this morning! I must say, we are very happy to find such lovely company to join us on our walk around the park.”
Colonel Fitzwilliam smiled as he came up to his cousin, “Good morning, Georgiana,” he said.
“Good morning, Richard,” she said as he walked up to her. “I wondered what became of you last night. I did not realize when you left for Hallowell yesterday you would be staying there.”
“Yes, I have decided to remain at Hallowell until your ball,” he said.
Caroline looked up at Mr. Fitzwilliam. His eyes met hers, and he smiled. She found her heart beat faster at the sight of him. She turned and looked over at Colonel Fitzwilliam, “Good morning, Colonel,” she said.
“Good Morning, Miss Bingley,” he called out to her from where he was standing with Georgiana.
Caroline did her best to calm her nerves as Owen walked over to her. “Good morning, Mr. Fitzwilliam. You are right, of course; it is very astonishing that we should see each other again so soon after seeing you last night at the concert.”
He stepped up to her as they all began walking along the path. Colonel Fitzwilliam walked along with his cousin, while Owen escorted Caroline, leaving Jane and Elizabeth to fall in behind them. Owen leaned over and whispered softly, “I cannot lie, Miss Bingley; I knew you would be here this morning.”
Caroline furrowed her brow, “How is that possible?” she asked of him.
“Mrs. Darcy wrote a note to my brother suggesting he join them if he could. I believe, perhaps, she has realized the feelings my cousin has for my brother and hoped to arrange this time for them to spend together. I notice Miss Bennet is not here, so I believe that must have been the point in Mrs. Darcy sending the note this morning.” He suggested to her.
Caroline nodded her head, “It is possible that is what happened,” she told him. “I wonder though, how it is you have come to be here as well?”
“Richard asked if I might wish to join him,” he told her. “I had no other pressing engagements, so I saw no reason to decline. Also, I think he was feeling a bit awkward coming on his own.”
“Has the Colonel admitted his feelings for Miss Darcy to you yet?” she asked him.
Owen shook his head, “No, he has not,” he told her. “I suspect he is struggling with how he feels. If I were to guess, knowing my brother as I do; I can well imagine he would have some difficulty coming to terms with his changing feelings for our cousin. He has for so long looked upon her has a cousin, friend, and companion. Now he sees the beautiful young woman she has grown into, and wonders how he relates to her since his feelings for her have changed.”
“I must say, Mr. Fitzwilliam, that is very perceptive of you. How is it that you come to know so much on the matter if he has said nothing of the way he feels?” she asked him.
“I suppose I know so much because it is how I struggled with my feelings for Emily. You see, she was younger than me by four years,” he explained. “And even though we grew up together, there was a time when I considered her nothing more than a friend,” he admitted. “As she grew and blossomed into the woman I later knew her to be, I found my feelings for her had changed, and it took some time for me to come to terms with that.”
“But you did,” Caroline commented. “And I think perhaps the Colonel will as well.”
Owen smiled, “Perhaps he will,” he said as he looked over at his brother and Georgiana. “Richard is far more stubborn than I. It is possible it may take some prodding to get him to see things as they are. I believe Mrs. Darcy must realize this as well, and that is why the invitation to join you this morning for this walk in the park was extended.”
“It was very kind of you to come along as well,” she told him. “I am grateful for the company.”
Owen smiled at her. “While I appreciate the sentiment, I wonder; would not Mrs. Darcy or Mrs. Bingley been company for you?” he asked her. “Or perhaps, you were eager for my company in particular?” he teased her.
Caroline rolled her eyes and laughed, “Careful, Mr. Fitzwilliam; your vanity may be returning,” she playfully warned him.
He laughed, “I think you must be right,” he told her. He looked over at her and considered his next words carefully. He hoped to direct her into a more serious conversation. He hoped to gain some understanding in what her feelings for him might truly be; whether that of friendship, or perhaps, something more. “Although, I was thinking only this morning as I looked at my reflection in the mirror how very well I could be persuaded into thinking of myself. How full of conceit I could be without someone willing to put me in my place from time to time. I wonder, Miss Bingley, would you be up for such a challenge?”
Caroline did not miss how the manner of his speech had changed from playful banter to one of a more serious nature. She considered how to respond. “I would be up for such a challenge, Mr. Fitzwilliam,” she told him. “If I thought it was truly needed. However, I believe you speak in jest, for we both know you are not so very vain as you might have once been.”
“You compliment me, Miss Bingley, with your kind words,” he said. “Although I appreciate it, I am positive it is not deserved. I am of the opinion that while I must continue to work on my flaws, I will never truly conquer them this side of eternity. Vanity is always there, with conceit not far behind.”
Caroline considered what he said. She thought about how she used to compliment Darcy without ever truly meaning it. “Upon reflection, I find myself agreeing with you. One does not overcome all their flaws and imperfections this side of eternity,” she said. “Although I must admit to you, there was a time not so long ago when I would have said, ‘Oh no Mr. Fitzwilliam, that cannot be; you could not possibly have any flaws that must be worked on,’” she said softly. “I would have flattered you endlessly until you were convinced that all my praises were sincere and true. But I have been reminded of late just how empty and deceiving such compliments can be. I am reminded that words do have meaning and should be chosen carefully. So please, believe me when I say, you are not so very vain as some that I know in the upper societal circles of London. I truly mean that.”
Owen was very moved by her words, “I find I do not know what to say, Miss Bingley. Truly, you have given me very high praise, and I thank you for it,” he told her.
Caroline grew quiet, not knowing what more to say. As they walked along, she considered the man she was with. Owen was remarkably kind, generous, and considerate with her. While he often spoke of his vanity, she had not really noticed any particular display of such flaws in him. There were times when he playfully remarked on things in perhaps a somewhat forward manner, but all were made in jest and not to be taken seriously. She looked over at him intently and decided if he had any flaws, they might be that of a melancholy spirit, and perhaps, too much self-reflection. He was often of a rather serious nature and perhaps needed to allow himself to laugh just a little more often.
Owen looked over at Caroline, “You have suddenly gone rather quiet this morning, Miss Bingley,” he said. “Is there something, in particular, you are thinking about?”
Sh
e blushed just a little as she tried to think how to respond, “I suppose if I am, to be honest, I shall have to admit I was thinking of you,” she told him.
“Really?” he said arching his brow. “What, may I ask, were you thinking about me?”
She said somewhat apprehensively, “I was thinking, perhaps if you did have a flaw, that it might be at times you are so very serious. Perhaps laying some of those painful memories to rest would go easier if you did not reflect on them quite so much. Perhaps only remembering some of those memories you have of her that were of happier times may be of some help to you.”
Owen was very quiet for a time. He considered what she said, and realized there was some truth in her words. He did often focus on the pain of losing Emily. Even in those moments that he allowed himself to think of happier times, he often intermingled them in with her loss. The wind picked up just a little as they came down around a small pond.
Caroline wondered if she had said too much or if she had offended him. She felt bad that the things she said had caused him grief. “I am sorry, Mr. Fitzwilliam; please forgive me. I did not mean to be unkind with what I said; I should not have said what I did. I have no excuse for my thoughtlessness just now except to say I did not sleep well last night. My own thoughts have been bothersome, as I was plagued with some rather unpleasant dreams.”
“I am not offended by what you said, Miss Bingley; in fact, I think there is probably a great deal of truth to what you have shared. I was just considering what you have said,” he told her. “Although, I am sorry to hear you did not rest well,” he told her sincerely. “Dreams can be funny things. After Emily died, I was haunted for many nights with dreams of her suffering. It was very difficult for me to watch her die. I have struggled in vain with trying to forget; it is the one memory that I have been unable to free myself of.”
“Perhaps if you were to talk about it,” she suggested, “and allow yourself to come to terms with it, you might be able to let go of the pain that you still carry with you.”
Owen sighed, “Perhaps you are right about that,” he said. After a few moments of awkward silence, he said, “Tell me, Miss Bingley; what was it that kept you from sleeping last night?” he asked her. “What ghosts haunted your dreams?”
Caroline’s breath caught in her chest for just a moment as she looked away and forced herself to remain in control. She looked back over at him, “A very long time ago, there was someone whom I thought meant a great deal to me, but I was mistaken. Sadly, from time to time, he still invades my thoughts and dreams.”
Owen sighed as he placed his hand over the top of hers, “I hope one day very soon you will be able to let go of that pain, then perhaps you will finally sleep well.”
Caroline smiled, “I would like that very much,” she told him honestly. “I would so very much like to be free of those memories.”
“Perhaps one day we both will be,” he told her as they continued walking.
Georgiana looked over at Richard, “So, what has happened to chase you off from Windham House?” she asked him as she wrapped her arm inside of his.
Richard smiled, “Who is to say anything has been done to chase me off?” he asked her.
“Well, something must have occurred for you to decide to go and stay at Hallowell,” she remarked.
Richard shook his head, “I promise you; nothing has happened,” he told her. “I merely thought it would be nice to spend some time with my mother now before I leave again and go and spend Christmas with you and Darcy at Pemberley.”
Georgiana thought for a moment, “That is very considerate of you,” she told him. “I am sure Aunt Abigail is very delighted to have this time with you, even if it means we are deprived of your company.”
He laughed, “Deprived,” he repeated what she said, “That is a very interesting choice of words, Georgie. I dare say, you almost make it sound as if you miss me not being there.”
She looked up at him and smiled, “I do miss you being away,” she admitted. “Who is there to listen to me practice and encouraging me to keep trying when I am struggling with a difficult piece?”
He raised his brow just a little, “I was not very encouraging to you before when you were learning Mozart. I believe I offended you, and for that, I am very sorry,” he told her again.
Georgiana laughed, “It is all forgotten,” she assured him. “Besides, I believe in your own way, you did encourage me,” she remarked.
He narrowed his eyes, “How so?” he asked her.
“Because of the things you said to me, I was more determined than ever to play the piece well,” she said.
He laughed, “Oh, I see; you took it as a challenge,” he commented.
“Yes, I did,” she laughed.
Richard smiled. He loved to hear her laugh. He loved the way her bright blue eyes sparkled just a little whenever she laughed. “I am glad you were not angry with me for my foolish remarks. You played the piece to perfection. In fact, I think you should not stop with that piece. I would very much love to hear you play Beethoven’s Sonatas next.”
Georgiana’s eyes opened wider, “Beethoven’s Sonatas are some of the most difficult to play,” she told him. “It would take me a good deal of practice before I became truly proficient.”
“Well then, you shall not be deprived the pleasure of my company for some time while you practice,” he teased her. “For in order to do well, you shall have need of me to encourage you, I think.”
She smiled, “Yes I think I would,” she said as they walked down the path near a line of dormant trees. Georgiana looked down towards the carriage as they came back down the path, “When will you return to Windham?” she asked him.
Richard grew quiet for a moment, “I believe I will remain at Hallowell for a few days more.”
“You will come to my ball, though?” she asked, hoping he would not miss it.
He raised his brow, “Of course I will,” he assured her. “Someone has to watch over you,” he said without thinking.
Georgiana misunderstood his meaning, “I see,” she said, feeling hurt by his comment. “You still do not believe I can be trusted.”
He narrowed his eyes, “That is not what I meant at all,” he assured her. “I only meant that,” he hesitated for a moment.
“That what?” she demanded to know.
“That you have grown into a very beautiful and agreeable young woman, and are worthy of being watched over,” he said as he looked into her eyes.
She blushed just a little, “Thank you, Richard,” she said softly. She waited a few moments, but when he did not say anything, she said, “I think there is another reason you have decided to stay at Hallowell.”
He furrowed his brow, “Really, and what might that be?” he asked her.
“I believe you have grown weary of all the discussion concerning gowns, and hairpieces, and balls,” she teased him.
He laughed, “Well, it is possible that there is some truth in what you have said,” he told her. “But it is not just the talk of gowns, hair pieces, and balls that I have grown weary of,” he began to say. “If it were just those things, I could well manage.”
Georgiana looked at him in confusion, “What else have we ladies been discussing that is so very tiresome?” she demanded of him, pretending to be upset.
“It is all the ribbons, lace, fabrics, slippers, soups, dishes and decorations…” he said trying his best not to laugh.
Georgiana laughed with him, “Very well, enough!” she said interrupting him. “I concede; the conversation has been a trifle one-sided of late. However, I believe it will soon be over, and then you and William may once again talk about hunting, fishing, shooting, riding, fencing, and whatever else you like.”
He looked down at her, “Are you very sure of that?” he asked her, growing a bit more serious. “My mother informs me that the coming out ball is just the first of many you will be expected to attend until such time comes that an eligible match is found for you.”
Georgiana hesitated for a moment before speaking. She remembered what Elizabeth told her, and did her best to let her response be guided by his leading. “I think you would be right in saying so if this was not an uncommon circumstance,” she told him.
He narrowed his eyes, “Uncommon in what way?” he asked her.
She smiled, “It is uncommon in the fact that I am not truly looking for a husband at this time,” she confided in him. “At least, I am not concerned with meeting anyone new at this ball that I would seek to spend time with in order to marry.”
He shook his head, “I must confess, I am confused. If that be the case, why have this ball at all then?” he asked her.
“Well, because it is expected,” she told him. “And because I believe having this ball remains of great benefit to Kitty. It is an opportunity I would not wish to take from her.”
“I am not sure I understand your meaning?” he told her. “How does having the ball benefit Miss Bennet?”
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