His bedroom door was open, and I found him sitting on the side of his bed, staring at his cell phone in the dim light from his bedside lamp. He was rubbing at his beard again.
"At this rate, you're going to rub your beard right off, David." I smiled gently as he glanced up to see me in the doorway.
He pulled his hand away from his face as he sat up straighter. "I don't even know I'm doing it half the time." He gave me a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
I walked over and sat next to him, glancing at the screen of his phone. He had the text-messaging app on his phone open with Paige's phone number. He hadn't typed anything yet.
"This sounded so easy when I told you I was done running last night." He reached over and took my hand. "I'm really struggling with this. I'm sorry, sweetheart."
"It's not like I expected to you just to flip a switch and suddenly get over it." I squeezed his hand reassuringly. "You've been living in denial for a long time. It's not going to be a quick fix."
"You know; I'm so deluded that part of me thought it would be that simple." He snorted in disbelief with himself. "I have all this knowledge, and I help people with their emotional and psychological problems everyday, yet I'm just as fucked up as they are. None of them should listen to a damn word I say." His tone was bitter and self-loathing.
"Why are you so hard on yourself?" I asked him softly. "You're only human, like the rest of us. You can't expect to be perfect just because you're a psych nurse."
"I guess because I'm a psych nurse, I think I should know better." He stared at the floor and shook his head.
I leaned toward him and rested my head on his shoulder. I hooked my arm around his. "David, my love, you're not perfect. You never will be, and I wouldn't want you any other way. You know why?"
"Why, sweetheart?" he asked as he leaned his head on mine.
"Because there's only room for one perfect person in this relationship and we both know it's me," I said in mock seriousness as I smiled broadly.
He snorted out a laugh. He reached over and turned my chin until I was looking into his blue eyes as they danced with amusement. "How did I get so lucky to find you?"
He kissed me with soft gentle lips before I could answer his question. By the time he finished kissing me, I was breathing heavily, and I had forgotten the flippant answer I was going to give him.
"I love you, Natalie," he whispered as he leaned his forehead against mine.
"I love you too," I answered softly. We sat like that for a while, then David abruptly sat up and looked at his phone again. He started typing out a text, and when he finished he showed it to me.
We need to talk. When and where can we meet?
I nodded and watched him stare at the screen for a moment, then hit send with a resigned sigh.
"This is for us, Natalie," he told me vehemently as he placed a hand on my cheek and looked at me intently. "I'm not doing this for Paige or her baby. I'm doing it because I want to get past this, and move forward with you. I'm tired of carrying this burden of pain and anger. I need to let it go."
"I know." I nodded. "I'll help you get through this any way that I can. I promise."
"Just knowing you've got my back makes this easier." He kissed me again, this time deeply and with passion. The sound of a text notification ended it all too quickly. We looked down at his phone to read Paige's reply.
Can you be at my house at noon tomorrow? She included her address for him.
He stared at the screen for a second, then his face hardened with tension as he texted her back agreeing to meet her. He sighed again and set the phone on the mattress.
"Will you go with me?" he asked in a subdued tone. "I don't want to do this without you."
"Of course," I answered immediately. There was no way in hell I was going to leave him alone with her. I might want to help her, but I certainly didn't trust her. I'd be damned if I let her hurt him or mess with his head again. I stood and took his hand, pulling him up off the bed. "Let's go tell Jensen and Sydney."
He followed me out of the room, but pulled me to a stop in the hall. I turned back to meet his gaze. He seemed unsettled and tense. "Can you stay here tonight? Maybe you can distract me when my brain won't shut up."
"I'll stay." I squeezed his hand to reassure him.
"Good." His face relaxed a little. I was glad I could be here for him tonight and tomorrow. This was going to be brutal for him, and if I could make it easier, I would.
*********
We drove in tension-filled silence to Paige's house. I could see David's jaw muscles clenching with pent-up anger. He stared straight ahead at the road with hard eyes and a deep furrow between his brows. I was beginning to wonder if he would be capable of being civil with Paige at all. He seemed to be doing okay when he picked me up at work, but the closer we got to our destination the more upset he became. Thank God, I came with him, though I was starting to feel doubtful that my presence would be enough to keep him calm.
"David," I said quietly. "You're starting to freak me out."
"What are you talking about?" he asked irritably with a quick glance my way.
"I'm talking about how angry you are right now," I said calmly, trying not to get annoyed with him.
"Damn it, Natalie," he began in a harsh tone. "I'm not..." He trailed off and ran a hand down his face roughly. He took several deep breaths before continuing. "No, you're right. I really need to calm down." He reached over and took my hand. "I'm sorry, sweetheart."
"It's okay." I squeezed his hand. "I just don't think walking into her house pissed off is a good idea. Especially if she's being abused like we think."
"I know." He sighed deeply. "I never thought I would talk to her again. I never planned to, and now here I am driving to her damn house, wondering how the hell I'm supposed to do this." His voice started rising again as he spoke. "How am I even supposed to look at her and keep it together, after everything she did to me?" I noticed his eyes getting glassy.
"Just remember that you aren't doing this for her, my love." I brought his hand up and kissed his palm. "You're doing it for yourself, and for us."
We stopped at a light, and David turned his full attention on me, with eyes brimming with emotion. "Natalie, if I had known this was what love felt like, I never would have stayed with Paige, let alone ask her to marry me. I would have moved on long before she had a chance to hurt me." He clutched my hand tightly. "Paige never cared about me the way you do. I didn't see it at the time, but she only cared about one thing, herself. Sometimes, I think I'm angrier with myself for not seeing that sooner."
"You are a kind loving man, and she took advantage of that, so don't you dare be angry with yourself over it," I said forcefully and with feeling. "That's the man I fell in love with, and she was a fool for throwing you away."
"This is why I love you, sweetheart." An actual smile flowed across his lips. "You make me feel good about myself. You never tear me down like Paige used to do."
"Like I said, Paige was a fool and apparently a bitch too," I growled out in righteous anger.
"Now who's the one who needs to calm down?" David asked with amusement as he released my hand and caressed my cheek gently. His eyes drifted around my face with a look of pure adoration. I stared back helplessly.
The car behind us honked their horn, ruining the moment. David turned his attention back to the road reluctantly, and we lapsed into silence again, but this time he seemed calmer. However, by the time we parked in front of Paige's large house, his tension started to rise again.
He stared past me out the passenger window at the expensive-looking home and shook his head. "Wow, no wonder she didn't want me," he said bitterly.
"David," I chided him. "Your house is a million times better than this one. Yours has character and life. This one is sterile and boring. She's an idiot if she'd rather have this instead of you."
"I am so glad you came with me, Natalie." He shook his head. "I couldn't even consider doing this without yo
u."
"Let's go then. The sooner we go in there, the sooner we can get the hell out of here."
He nodded in reply, and we got out of the car. He came around his Audi and took my hand as we stepped onto the sidewalk leading to the house. His grip tightened as we approached the house. We stopped in front of the door, and David glanced at me with a pained expression. He sighed deeply then reached out and rang the doorbell.
A few moments later, Paige opened the door with a huge smile that faded a little when she saw that I was here with David. Gone were the yoga pants and over-sized hoodie that she had been wearing the last two times I saw her. Today she was dressed in nice jeans and a sweater, no doubt for David's benefit. I fought the urge to growl under my breath.
"David," she said brightly. "I'm so glad you're here."
"Paige," David answered her in a tight voice with little inflexion. He had a death-grip on my hand now and a blank expression on his face.
"Come on in," she waved us in with a wide smile, and David led me through the doorway into Paige's house. The place was just as spotless and sterile as it was the other day. I watched David looking around with a frown as we followed Paige through the house. I could practically feel the tension radiating off of him in waves. Paige motioned toward the kitchen table as we entered the kitchen. "Have a seat. I hope you're hungry. I made some sandwiches." David and I reluctantly sat down at the table. His face hardened with annoyance.
"Paige," David said in an irritated tone. "I didn't come here to be entertained."
She paused in her path to the refrigerator and looked back at David with a startled expression.
"I need to know why you've been trying to talk to me after all this time." David's face was stern, his voice firm and uncompromising. I'm glad David was skipping the pleasantries. I didn't think that I could stomach her acting like David was a long-lost friend much longer.
"David, I..." she trailed off as she looked from David to me and back again with an uncomfortable expression.
He reached over and took my hand again. "Anything you say to me, you can say in front of Natalie. She knows everything." He gave her a hard meaningful stare.
Her eyes widened, and she flushed with embarrassment. Good, maybe she really did have a conscience. Maybe she really was sorry for what she did to him. She started wringing her hands together as she walked over to the table. She sat across from David and stared down at the table top for several moments.
"I'm waiting, Paige," David snapped out impatiently. Paige startled and looked up at him with fearful eyes. His eyes glittered with anger as he glared at her, and she shrank in on herself. This wasn't going well. David's anger was freaking her out, and she was shutting down. It was the wrong tact to take with an abused woman.
I leveled a warning glance at David. He pursed his lips as he met my eyes and crossed his arms across his chest defiantly, but he didn't say another word. "Paige," I said her name gently as I looked back at her. She looked up and met my gaze. "Here's your chance to make this right. Tell David what you told me the other day."
She nodded infinitesimally then flicked her gaze over to David again. "I...I'm sorry, David." Her voice was soft and breathy. "For everything." She looked down at her hands. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.
David's eyes flickered with emotion and then turned stony again. "Is your fiance hitting you?" he asked, abruptly changing the subject instead of acknowledging her apology.
Her head jerked up, and she stared at him in shock. "Of course not," she blurted out quickly, too quickly if you asked me. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Then why do you have enough concealer for two people on your jaw?" he asked her. His irritation was very obvious, and it wasn't helping. Her hand flashed up to her face. David's eyes glanced at her wrist as the sleeve of her sweater slid away to expose the faint bruising there. "Where did you get those bruises on your arm, Paige?"
"I...I fell," she answered in a monotone as she lowered her arm out of sight under the table.
"Really?" David asked incredulously as he glared at her again. "That's the best you could come up with."
"David," I interjected before he said something worse. "This isn't helping."
"Nothing is going to help, if she won't admit what's going on." David said unapologetically as he met my eyes briefly. He turned a hard stare back to Paige. "What are you going to do Paige? Wait until this baby is dead too? Then come crawling to me when it's too late, and you grow a conscience?" She gasped at his harsh words as she met his eyes.
"David," I chided him, in shock over his behavior. He ignored me and continued staring at Paige.
"You need to leave." Paige's eyes flashed with sudden anger, but there was stark terror in them as well. I was fairly certain that the fear didn't have anything to do with David's words or our presence here. What had her fiance done to her head?
"Fine," David pushed his chair back and stood, glowering at Paige. "Call me when you wake up. Preferably before it's too late for your baby."
"Get. Out," she growled out as she rose too, and I could see her hands shaking. "Get out now."
David glared at her for a moment more. "Come on, Natalie." He reached out and took my hand, pulling me out of my chair. "We're wasting our time here."
I stood my ground as he tried to drag me away with him. "Paige," I spoke desperately. She looked away from David and met my eyes. "It's not too late. You can get away from him. You can save yourself and your child. All you have to do is ask for help."
I watched her lower lip tremble as tears welled up in her frightened eyes. "Please leave," she said quietly, her gaze falling away as she seemed to shrink in on herself. She'd given up. She thought she was trapped. I realized grudgingly that David was right. We couldn't help her if she didn't want it.
"It's not too late, Paige," I repeated, but she didn't respond at all this time. She just stared at the table with dead eyes.
"Natalie," David said in a soft pleading tone. "We need to go."
I stared at Paige for another long moment before sighing deeply. She already shut down. I let David lead me away. We let ourselves out and walked down the sidewalk to David's car. He didn't look at me or say a word as he opened the door for me, and I lowered myself into the seat. David came around and got in. He started the car and pulled away from the curb, staring straight ahead with a dejected expression. We drove in uncomfortable silence for several miles.
"Well, that was productive," I finally blurted out sarcastically as I glared at David. "You just couldn't be civil could you?" I asked in exasperation.
"Natalie," he answered in a subdued tone. "I'm sorry I let you down. I don't know what came over me. I was so angry that it took everything I had not to scream and yell at her." I could hear the pain in his voice, and my annoyance faded away. "I tried, but I failed. I don't know if I can get over this, Natalie. If that's a deal breaker for you, I understand."
I grabbed his hand off the steering wheel and held it tight. "David, I'm not going to leave you. I didn't expect you to talk to her and get over it immediately. I just wanted you to try. I'm not going to give up on you over this."
"I never thought of myself as an angry person, but that's all I've been lately." He shook his head in disgust. "I'm such an asshole. I can't even manage to be kind to a woman who's obviously being abused. I don't like myself at all right now."
"There you go being hard on yourself again." I squeezed his hand. "What she did to you was horrible, David. It's okay to be angry about it. It's okay to struggle with this."
"How long can I struggle with this before you get fed up?" he said sadly. "How long before I'm a lost cause?"
"As long as you're willing to try, you will never be a lost cause."
"I promise, Natalie," he met my eyes with sincerity. "I'm going to keep trying, no matter what, and no matter how long it takes."
"I know, my love. I know," I replied softly, silently wondering what kind of toll it would take on him if he couldn't get past t
his, and what that might mean for our future together. I gave him a reassuring smile despite my misgivings, knowing he needed my encouragement, not my doubts. All I could do was support him and hope that he would find a way to move on from this. His well-being depended on it, and to be honest so did mine.
*********
David seemed quiet and subdued when he met me by my car to take George from me Friday night. He was most likely still bothered by what happened at Paige's house earlier today. I knew he was happy to see us though, because his eyes lit up when he looked at me. I hoped that spending the weekend together would cheer him up.
I grabbed my purse and overnight bag, and followed David and George toward the house. I smiled as I watched David tell George how much he missed him while the cat stared up at him with adoration and purred loudly. I was beginning to suspect that George might like David better than me.
"You can't have him," I growled at David as we walked into the living room.
"What?" David asked as he put the huge cat down on the floor, where George proceeded to rub himself all over David's legs.
"You can sweet talk George all you like, but you can't have him." I leveled a glare at David.
David narrowed his eyes and stalked toward me. He took my purse and bag from me and set them down, then grabbed my hips and yanked me forward until I fell against his hard body. He put his lips in close to my ear. "What if I sweet talk you, Natalie? What will that get me?" His voice was low and sensual.
"We both know that you don't do sweet with me, David," I replied seductively as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
His sexy answering laugh made things down low in my pelvis clench with desire.
"You can not be sweet with me right now if you like," I suggested as I pressed my breasts against his chest. He let out a shuddering breath as his eyes turned dark with arousal.
You Are My Love: Breathless Book 2 Page 15